I forgive you all who have (temporarily) left the church

Rabidlamb · 14-11-2011 3:26pm #1

Let it not weigh on you anymore.
Indeed remember once this populist fad passes we'll welcome you back with open arms.
The most enlightened of you will have noticed that a drop in church numbers has coincided with the punishing affects of austerity.
The power of the Lord reaches that far & beyond, the economic struggle is a sign of his strength & a warning to your all.

So row in, toe the line in future & we'll never speak of this silliness again.
Oh, since you've been away our weekly expected contribution has risen to €5.
Amen.

Sky King · 14-11-2011 3:27pm

I don't get it

marcbrophy · 14-11-2011 3:28pm

Drop dead!

Plumpynutt · 14-11-2011 3:28pm

lulz

ejmaztec · 14-11-2011 3:29pm

Poppy thread's fizzled out, Palestinian thread's fizzled out, so it's church-bashing time again.

BBDBB · 14-11-2011 3:29pm

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.........and enjoyed it:o

Rented Mule · 14-11-2011 3:29pm

In the immortal words of Ricky Gervais.

Thank god for making me an atheist.

krudler · 14-11-2011 3:31pm

god loves atheists, we dont pester him with prayers, we dont blame him when stuff goes wrong and claim its his will, and we dont use him as an excuse for us not getting off our ass and changing our own lives for the better instead of hoping he'll do it for us.

praise hypnotoad!

Zulu · 14-11-2011 3:33pm

Nice one. Please hold my account open while this populist fad continues.

hullaballoo · 14-11-2011 3:33pm

\o/ FREE FORGIVENESS!

Genghiz Cohen · 14-11-2011 3:33pm

Which Church?

Doc Ruby · 14-11-2011 3:35pm

Rabidlamb wrote: »

The most enlightened of you will have noticed that a drop in church numbers has coincided with the punishing affects of austerity.
The power of the Lord reaches that far & beyond, the economic struggle is a sign of his strength & a warning to your all.

You have to admit, religions have an unbeatable line here. Things going well? God is good! Not so great? God is punishing/testing you!

For myself the whole omnipotent god thing isn't something I can get behind. I mean you either have free will or you have an omnipotent god, one or the other, its impossible to have both.

If you haven't free will, god is all powerful, so he's a prick for sending people to hell for just doing what they are programmed to do. If you have free will, the church better own up and admit god isn't all that.

Ah its a pile of crap anyway, I mean I believe in existence after death and various other things, but I haven't much time for religions.

Risteard · 14-11-2011 3:37pm

I thought only Jesus had the power to forgive people their Sins?

KeithAFC · 14-11-2011 3:38pm

For God and Turkey..

Paparazzo · 14-11-2011 3:39pm

Humans as we know them have been around for at least 50,000 years. The Catholic Church has been popular for about 1000. Its the church that's the fad

Paparazzo · 14-11-2011 3:44pm

ejmaztec wrote: »

Poppy thread's fizzled out, Palestinian thread's fizzled out, so it's church-bashing time again.

Even worse, the "oh look, another church bashing thread :rolleyes:" people are back

im invisible · 14-11-2011 3:49pm

Genghiz Cohen wrote: »

Which Church?

the one in town...

Abi · 14-11-2011 3:54pm

Rabidlamb wrote: »

Let it not weigh on you anymore.
Indeed remember once this populist fad passes we'll welcome you back with open arms.
The most enlightened of you will have noticed that a drop in church numbers has coincided with the punishing affects of austerity.
The power of the Lord reaches that far & beyond, the economic struggle is a sign of his strength & a warning to your all.

So row in, toe the line in future & we'll never speak of this silliness again.
Oh, since you've been away our weekly expected contribution has risen to €5.
Amen.

Doesn't appear to be a copy and paste job, must be the acid again.

Son Of A Vidic · 14-11-2011 3:55pm

Rabidlamb wrote: »

The most enlightened of you will have noticed that a drop in church numbers has coincided with the punishing affects of austerity.

Speaking of enlightenment, you seem to be lacking in that department. I would contend that the drop in church numbers, has more to do with the many, many instances of child rape carried out by so called 'Men of God'.

Genghiz Cohen · 14-11-2011 3:57pm

im invisible wrote: »

the one in town...

WHICH ONE IN TOWN?!?!
Here in Carlow there are at least 5!!!

Stiffler2 · 14-11-2011 3:59pm

Listen Lads, I told yis before, that money was just resting in my account

Axe Rake · 14-11-2011 3:59pm

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Speaking of enlightenment, you seem to be lacking in that department. I would contend that the drop in church numbers, has more to do with the many, many instances of child rape carried out by so called 'Men of God'.

I'd say the numbers have been dropping because institutions like the Church are no longer relevant.

goose2005 · 14-11-2011 4:02pm

Genghiz Cohen wrote: »

WHICH ONE IN TOWN?!?!
Here in Carlow there are at least 5!!!

the one that doesn't practice human sacrifice

flutterflye · 14-11-2011 4:08pm

They aren't starting to study the religious divide in population from the latest cao until March.
I can't wait to see what it shows.

Wait, what is this thread about?
Oh yeah.

Well I left the Catholic Church when I was 12 - nearly 15 years ago.
So I don't think I will be opening my arms to any god any time in the future!

Sky King · 14-11-2011 4:11pm

Paparazzo wrote: »

Even worse, the "oh look, another church bashing thread :rolleyes:" people are back

And now we're off with the Church bashing thread bashers bashing.

Typical.

Paparazzo · 14-11-2011 4:12pm

Genghiz Cohen wrote: »

Which Church?

Church of Funk.
Funk is coming back. Pretend you liked it before it becomes big again.

Rabidlamb · 14-11-2011 4:14pm

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Speaking of enlightenment, you seem to be lacking in that department. I would contend that the drop in church numbers, has more to do with the many, many instances of child rape carried out by so called 'Men of God'.

Hold on, I'm on your side.
I'd say the real reason numbers have dropped is that it's all a load of bollix.
The kiddy fiddling is only a secondary matter.

14-11-2011 4:15pm

Passing fad eh? Just like the mullet, which actually reminds me of the church in some ways.

Business at the front, party in the back.

foxyboxer · 14-11-2011 4:16pm

The power of the Lord reaches that far & beyond, the economic struggle is a sign of his strength & a warning to your all.

I didn't know that Jesus was shorting the Euro.

Hmm, walking on water, cryptic anecdotes and financial savvy. Outstanding!

Lady Chuckles · 14-11-2011 4:18pm

Rented Mule wrote: »

In the immortal words of Ricky Gervais.

Thank god for making me an atheist.

In the immortal words of Homer Simpson:

Boooooooring!!

Ellis Dee · 14-11-2011 4:18pm

Rabidlamb wrote: »

Let it not weigh on you anymore.
Indeed remember once this populist fad passes we'll welcome you back with open arms.
The most enlightened of you will have noticed that a drop in church numbers has coincided with the punishing affects of austerity.
The power of the Lord reaches that far & beyond, the economic struggle is a sign of his strength & a warning to your all.

So row in, toe the line in future & we'll never speak of this silliness again.
Oh, since you've been away our weekly expected contribution has risen to €5.
Amen.

OK, my cheque is on the way. One of the fairies at the bottom of my garden has kindly agreed to drop it over to you.

:):)

al28283 · 14-11-2011 4:23pm

The Church is a lie. Now let's all have some cake

Sauve · 14-11-2011 4:23pm

It's not a populist fad, it's common bloody sense.

Hobbes · 14-11-2011 4:26pm

Rabidlamb wrote: »

The power of the Lord reaches that far & beyond, the economic struggle is a sign of his strength & a warning to your all.

Do you have any evidence that people who go to Church are well off/not impacted by the economic struggle?

If not, why is he punishing them as well?

Lollipops23 · 14-11-2011 4:33pm

i stopped going long before the economy went kaboom.

my main motivation was that it's all a big bunch of pants. and they all take it waaaaay to seriously. and they keep telling me that i'll burn in hell for living my life in a nice, innoffensive way.

go fúck yourselves RCC- if you're done with the innocent kids, that is.

Blackhorse Slim · 14-11-2011 4:35pm

Hobbes wrote: »

Do you have any evidence that people who go to Church are well off/not impacted by the economic struggle?

If not, why is he punishing them as well?

Remember the Flood? Sodom and Gomorrah? The Killing of the firstborn? Original sin?

God doesn't discriminate between good and bad people.

nozzferrahhtoo · 14-11-2011 4:41pm

Rabidlamb wrote: »

I forgive you all who have (temporarily) left the church

So those of us who have left permanently do not have your forgiveness?

I will endeavor to care.

nozzferrahhtoo · 14-11-2011 4:43pm

Nope. Sorry. Couldn't do it.

Manach · 14-11-2011 4:46pm

Feeding the anti-Catholic trolls, always such a joy to watch their collective expressions of individuality.

Wattle · 14-11-2011 4:49pm

That's great father but I was hoping that YOU might lend ME some money. I'll remember you in my prayers.

o1s1n · 14-11-2011 4:50pm

Manach wrote: »

Feeding the anti-Catholic trolls, always such a joy to watch their collective expressions of individuality.

What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of your catholic conformity.

I forgive you all who have (temporarily) left the church

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