know i've found the one but is it two soon?

afterglow · 05-02-2016 8:55pm #1

Hi all
Really early days in a relationship, but as the title says, I know I've found the one. I am imagining spending my life with this person and even (complete and utter surprise to me) what it would be like to have children with this guy. I've never wanted children before so I'm still in shock a little myself!
My question is has this happened to anyone else? And is it two soon to tell my bf this is how I feel?
Thanks in advance for any responses

Penny Tration · 05-02-2016 9:07pm

It's never happened to me, no.

If it's early days then yeah, it's probably much too soon to tell your boyfriend, unless you're willing to run the risk of him thinking you're a bunny boiler and running for the hills!

Give it time. You're in the 'infatuated' phase so it feels amazing, but it could easily change six months from now.

DukeOfTheSharp · 05-02-2016 9:24pm

Honestly this is getting ahead of yourself - massively. You need to reel that back in, because you risk some pretty messed up things when you push a relationship or have huge expectations early on. Keep this to yourself, and try not to push this down the line. The honeymoon phase is all well and good, but you'll destroy the whole thing if you push too hard from the get-go.

bee06 · 05-02-2016 9:46pm

I knew my husband was "the one" before we started going out (we were friends at the time). However, I never told him this because I still thinks it sounds a bit crazy and I still took things slowly and didn't get ahead of myself when we did get into relationship.

What benefit is there of telling him? Let things evolve naturally rather than trying to force things by talking about marriage and kids at such an early stage.

05-02-2016 10:35pm

My sister and her husband got engaged after 6 months. Married less than a year after that. Some people would call that crazy, but they're happy. There's no "too soon", because everyone is different. Anyone that says otherwise isn't right.. Or wrong.. Because they're just looking at it from a different viewpoint.

Idle Passerby · 06-02-2016 1:30pm

Hold your horses, I know the feeling of being convinced your with the one but if they are not quite there yet it could put too much preasure on the new relationship. As the last poster said, theres no such thing as "too early" but that only applies if both people are on the same page and ready to go in to a serious commitment feet first. Theres no need to rush it.

CaraMay · 06-02-2016 4:22pm

Ah no hold your horses. If he is the one then he isn't going anywhere so why put pressure on the relationship.

amdublin · 06-02-2016 5:52pm

Congratulations op! Enjoy this special time! Say nothing and let things natuarally evolve.

Meauldsegosha · 06-02-2016 6:12pm

How early, is really early days?

Duvetdays · 06-02-2016 6:23pm

12 years ago a guy I worked with asked me out on his last day. We moved in together after 2.5mths and got a puppy the following month people didn't say much but we knew they thought we were crazy (I was young only 20). 12 years on we are married 7 years and the puppy is now a little old lady.

I don't really know know the point of me sharing this other then how relationships can move along quickly and stand the test of time. If he really is the one and feels the same about you don't rush him, it'll all happen naturally with time.

acon2119 · 06-02-2016 8:12pm

Duvetdays wrote: »

12 years ago a guy I worked with asked me out on his last day. We moved in together after 2.5mths and got a puppy the following month people didn't say much but we knew they thought we were crazy (I was young only 20). 12 years on we are married 7 years and the puppy is now a little old lady.

I don't really know know the point of me sharing this other then how relationships can move along quickly and stand the test of time.]really is the one and feels the same about you don't rush him, it'll all happen naturally with time.

Its good that you shared a happy outcome because if you were to judge relationships based on the comments on this forum it would seem there's very few good long term relationships, but fortunately that,s not the case.

May you and your husband have many more happy years together.

silverbolt · 07-02-2016 4:35pm

Ahh OP, its great that your feeling like this. But I will concur with the general consensus to keep to you yourself. But in saying that everyone is different and every relationship is different so its up to you and your partner how your proceed

beks101 · 07-02-2016 5:04pm

Personally I think there's no such thing. I think the notion of 'the one' is a bit naive and can be detrimental if it means you stick around in a relationship that's not really right or quite harmful for you because you declared early on that he was "the one". There's everything from a few to lots of ones you can share your life with, this stuff is mainly about timing.

Pace yourself and listen to your head for a while OP. Be open minded, love with reckless abandon but keep your independence and your sanity too. Falling in love can be like jumping off a cliff, all common sense can jump out the window and before you know it everything you ever had or wanted can seem lost because it didn't go quite the way you envisaged.

If it's really early days, then as much as you fancy him and enjoy his company and seem to click...you really don't know this person. Reign in your emotions and get to know him. Meet his family and friends, see how he treats them. Suss out whether or not you have the same life goals. There's no rush here.

ShaShaBear · 07-02-2016 11:28pm

Duvetdays wrote: »

12 years ago a guy I worked with asked me out on his last day. We moved in together after 2.5mths and got a puppy the following month people didn't say much but we knew they thought we were crazy (I was young only 20). 12 years on we are married 7 years and the puppy is now a little old lady.

I don't really know know the point of me sharing this other then how relationships can move along quickly and stand the test of time. If he really is the one and feels the same about you don't rush him, it'll all happen naturally with time.

Agreed! My partner and I were only together 3 months when we broached the subject of feelings and the future, that conversation ended in an engagement ring and a call to an estate agent for our first rental together. Weve been together 4 years now, have two beautiful baby girls and are getting married in September. He tells me he loves me every day and we are still just as intimate as we were in the "honeymoon stage" (and with two kids under 2, thats an achievement in itself!).
We squabble and argue but have never had a make or break situation. Sure, there might be other guys out there that I would be equally happy with, but he is "the one" I choose

marzic · 10-02-2016 12:51pm

This is your physical instinct telling you that he is good match - which is gr8. But as a man i say keep your powder dry for now, men are 'generally' slower to reach the same conclusions - even when they are in love with someone. Having said that its reasonable to expect to have mature conversations about the future or family, like everything i guess theres a right time ! Best of luck

know i've found the one but is it two soon?

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