Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all! We have been experiencing an issue on site where threads have been missing the latest postings. The platform host Vanilla are working on this issue. A workaround that has been used by some is to navigate back from 1 to 10+ pages to re-sync the thread and this will then show the latest posts. Thanks, Mike.
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Another toilet question

  • 09-06-2008 12:04am
    #1
    dougee19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,361 ✭✭✭


    in these discussions on going ons in the lavatory(where i learned girls REALLY dont like guys watching them pee) i also found out i wipe my bum more times than my friends, i was confused to this.. they only wipe their bum twice after pooing.... whats up with that??

    another poll :)

    How many times do you wipe after you poo? 40 votes

    0
    0% 0 votes
    1
    5% 2 votes
    2
    2% 1 vote
    3
    15% 6 votes
    4
    27% 11 votes
    5
    37% 15 votes
    6+(just to be sure)
    12% 5 votes


Comments

  • #2
    Slidey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,811 ✭✭✭✭Slidey


    It simple really, keepin wiping til the sheet comes back in a way you can put i back for the next guy to use...
    cue Flutter anytime soon


  • #3
    source
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,288 ✭✭✭source


    I tend to keep going till the paper comes back the same colour as it went in.


  • #4
    AlmightyCushion
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,100 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    I keep going till the paper comes back red, it's the only way you know you've cleaned it thoroughly.


  • #5
    marco_polo
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 10,087 Mod ✭✭✭✭marco_polo


    AlmightyCushion wrote: »
    I keep going till the paper comes back red, it's the only way you know you've cleaned it thoroughly.

    Dettol and a wire brush would save you alot of time :pac:


  • #6
    flanum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,107 ✭✭✭flanum


    Whats this metro thing about wiping?? pffft your all ghey!

    posted via wishful thinking


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    Mick Jaggers toilet :D

    http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/791/zeamericans4sk.jpg


  • #8
    silvine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,132 ✭✭✭silvine


    Sometimes I even use a blast from the shower head to get rid of those stubborn clumps.


  • #9
    toiletduck
    Registered Users Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭toiletduck


    Wipe with your hand for a thorough clean.


  • #10
    Homer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,330 ✭✭✭Homer


    Badgers Arse FTW... :D


  • #11
    elmolesto
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,721 ✭✭✭elmolesto


    silvine wrote: »
    Sometimes I even use a blast from the shower head to get rid of those stubborn clumps.

    Man, you are disgusting


  • Advertisement
  • #12
    Steve_o
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,432 ✭✭✭Steve_o


    industria wrote: »
    Badgers Arse FTW... :D

    Ha!!:D

    OP, until it comes back the same colour as it was start!


  • #13
    JangoFett
    Registered Users Posts: 854 ✭✭✭JangoFett


    I said 6+ cuz the rule is...stay wiping till you're ****ing clean!!


  • #14
    Mahatma coat
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 6,869 ✭✭✭Mahatma coat


    ah, but, if it came back clean on the first wipe, would you still rewipe?


  • #15
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    once up, once down and once to polish


  • #16
    JangoFett
    Registered Users Posts: 854 ✭✭✭JangoFett


    Mahatma coat wrote: »
    ah, but, if it came back clean on the first wipe, would you still rewipe?

    Clean on the first means you're clean. What me and my friends call a "German Sh!t" Efficient.


  • #17
    AlmightyCushion
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,100 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    JangoFett wrote: »
    Clean on the first means you're clean. What me and my friends call a "German Sh!t" Efficient.
    I call it a teflon shít. Slips right through and leaves nothing on the pan.


  • #18
    briantwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 505 ✭✭✭briantwin


    Brillo pads, small wind proof lighter and some Ether alcohol.....
    Clean as a whistle!


  • #19
    danniemcq
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,163 ✭✭✭✭danniemcq


    depends what i've been drinking, loada shots and stuff hardly need to wipe as it pretty much runs out like a waterfall but Guinness after a week of not drinking guinness, pass the powerhose


  • #20
    Kold
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,778 ✭✭✭✭Kold


    Due to my godawful diet and persistant drinking, it tends to be in the double digits, sometimes you think you're all cleaned up when you feel another shell loaded, that sh*t's frustrating.


  • #21
    sdanseo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,236 ✭✭✭sdanseo


    A mod needs to declare a ban (with breaches punishable by egging) on poo-related topics or indeed anything excretion-related.

    FFS like, thats about the tenth in a couple of months. Is there nothing else to poke fun at? (Other than me, my MA, my family etc)


  • Advertisement
  • #22
    Kold
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,778 ✭✭✭✭Kold


    Where do poo threads belong so? I mean everyone does it so why can't we talk about it?


  • #23
    BrowneusMaximus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26 ✭BrowneusMaximus


    The real question is do you wipe from the front or from the back ????


  • #24
    BurnsCarpenter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 552 ✭✭✭BurnsCarpenter


    I've heard unconfirmed reports that some people wipe standing up! :eek:


  • #25
    Sherifu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    Front of the hand, back of the hand and done.


  • #26
    Jigsaw
    Registered Users Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭Jigsaw


    The number of sheets required depends mainly upon whether or not you get a good cut, and also your diet in the run up to the sh1t in question.

    If you pull your cheeks apart good and wide for plenty clearance and have a slow but steady faecal expulsion there should be no collateral damage, nor indeed any splashback.

    Bad cut + bad diet means = a very messy sh1te indeed expect to wipe until you're sweating.

    Either way, I always keep wiping until my arse looks Gerry Adams eating a tomato.


  • #27
    Holsten
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,971 ✭✭✭Holsten


    I wipe untill I'm clean, simple.


  • #28
    Degsy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,397 ✭✭✭✭Degsy


    Whats the technical term for when you think you've finished and you're hoiking your breeks up only for another inch or two of muck to make its way out of your arse,causing you to start all over again??


  • #29
    The Artist
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,676 ✭✭✭The Artist


    when finnished cleaning ye bottom and you feel its not clean enough,rushing to go out and you havent time wipe again use a tampoon.
    soaks up all the problems:cool:


  • #30
    Slidey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,811 ✭✭✭✭Slidey


    Jigsaw wrote: »
    Either way, I always keep wiping until my arse looks Gerry Adams eating a tomato.
    Jaysus that got me LOL...after a bad bad day in work!


  • Advertisement
  • #31
    KTRIC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭KTRIC


    BurnsCarpenter wrote: »
    I've heard unconfirmed reports that some people wipe standing up! :eek:

    Hmmm, you don't ??


  • #32
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    I should caution people on the following points.

    females should always wipe ..erm away from the flange.

    Be carefull or over cleaning,can cause anal irritation and if you have a good bunch of arsegrapes can lead to ,well ,messy problems.

    I knew a lad once who was packing a lot of "farmers" and overwiped,fcukers burst and he tells me it was most embarrassing, as he was on a date and hoped to well, push some pork, but that put an end to proceedings.

    female was "anxious for bone" later on but there was no way he could lower his kex as they were, as he says himself ,like a butchers apron.

    dab or barbecue lighting fluid on a tissue softens up the winnits if in trouble.


  • #33
    Kold
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,778 ✭✭✭✭Kold


    Wait, what have farmers got to do with hemmoroids?


  • #34
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    Farmers???

    Farmer Giles... Chalfonts... Chalfont St Giles...Piles:confused:


  • #35
    Trojan911
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭Trojan911


    AlmightyCushion wrote: »
    I keep going till the paper comes back red, it's the only way you know you've cleaned it thoroughly.

    Just fell off the chair laughing...... :D


  • #36
    Lirange
    Registered Users Posts: 2,108 ✭✭✭Lirange


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz_A6K9rSko


  • Advertisement
  • #37
    BurnsCarpenter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 552 ✭✭✭BurnsCarpenter


    KTRIC wrote: »
    Hmmm, you don't ??

    One of them! :eek:


  • #38
    Degsy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,397 ✭✭✭✭Degsy


    FlutterinBantam wrote: »
    Farmers???

    Farmer Giles... Chalfonts... Chalfont St Giles...Piles:confused:

    Also known as Emmas as in Emma Freuds..


  • #39
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 3,620 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    They sell this toilet paper in Scotland that is like shiny paper.

    You might think it wouldn't be up to much but it is actually really good.

    I can't find any in Ireland though:( anyone else seen this stuff?


Advertisement