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Heads a mess..

  • 10-03-2008 4:36pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey guy's/gals,

    Been with the girlfriend for 3 years but lately i'm starting to really not know where we are going, she's asking me to move in together in the next 3 month's when my lease expires but i'm not sure it would be best for either of us, she doesn't work full time and I'm only comfortable supporting myself at the min, she's having trouble at home (Mam drinks) and wants me to take her "Away from it" but we fight alot and when we do she can get to aggressive, last saturday we had another stupid one as usual over me going out with some friends , or being too tired to stay up and drink ( I work) , or anything really can turn bad, it ends up me trying to just sleep it off and talk when were calm i'm pretty laid back but she keeps at it , follows me, she even stuck her knee into my back to wake me up and locked the door so I couldn't get out, that went on till 7 in the morning...to be honest i don't know how much I can take of this every week. Beyond that she is a sweet, caring girl who alot of guy's would be lucky to have...but I really don't know if I love her anymore.

    A few month's ago I met a girl who I used to be friends with, we starting talking again, going out (As friends with friends) and I started to have feelings for her but didn't act on them obviously, she came out and told me how she felt and at the time I passed it up, I stayed with my girlfriend as I didn't have the guts to break her heart I know breaking up with her would kill her i'm all she has, but lately I can't get this other girl out of my head I think I really like her and hate myself for it , wondering what dhe's doing etc questioning did I do the right thing, I texted her to see how she was and she completely blanked, I think she deleted my number etc. I dunno what to do I don't wanna hurt anyone but i'm been torn apart myself with this. I know nobody could tell me what to do but any advice much appreciated. Thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    barbiegirl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    First what age are you and your girlfriend? Second in most cases shacking up with someone to escape home doesn't work, eventually the relationship breaks down. Is your girlfriend in education, as she is working part time?
    Don't move in with her is my initial response. You need to be in love for that to work. Sit down and talk to your oh and explain why you can't move in, maybe encourage her to be more independant as that is where she will find true happiness, not in anyone else.
    As to the other girl, let her go, don't make contact again, she has blanked you and that was a message in itself. Don't let her affect this relationship. Make you decision on the future or lack of future on how you feel about your oh and this has to be in love, not sorry for, pity etc. If you don't love her it's time to leave. You can only do it as best you can, limiting the hurt as best you can and then move on with your life. Hopefully she'll do the same.Not every relationship works out happy ever after. If they did this forum would be empty ;-)


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Yeah she's working part time but only a couple of hours a week really, I feel guilty for not loving her the way she loves me and I guess I was waiting for that to change but i'm not sure if it's going to, when we hang out now everything seems so bland, awkward silences etc, that little spark we always had has packed and left.


  • #4
    dantheman23
    Registered Users Posts: 12 ✭dantheman23


    you've gotta move on......... what're u gonna do stay wit her forever unhappy, maybe have kids who will end up unhappy as well. i don't know your girlfriend but she sounds like she's holding u back. life's 2 short. hook up with the other girl u know u want 2


  • #5
    Leeby
    Closed Accounts Posts: 384 ✭✭Leeby


    My advice would be to break up with her, it doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship (has she usually been drinking when she picks fights with you?) and it sounds like you've already come to that decision yourself.

    By the way, kudos for passing up on the other girl and giving your relationship another go, many lesser peoplewouldn't have. But it sounds like now it is time to move on with your own life.


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