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Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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    #7862
    Gremlinertia
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,728 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Appointment at hospital, finally on list to meet with psychologist, seems they've forgotten to do that since there was NO psychologist in the hospital for over a year.. Galway regional with no psychologist - i can't begin to explain my rage at that.. Not even for me, but everyone else that has struggled or has been struggling, really pathetic imho..


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    #7863
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    It is exactly 10 years to the day that I got that big panic attack that caused everything to spiral out of control. I don't know what to feel about that: joy I'm still here or sadness that I'm still here.


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    #7864
    Gremlinertia
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,728 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »
    It is exactly 10 years to the day that I got that big panic attack that caused everything to spiral out of control. I don't know what to feel about that: joy I'm still here or sadness that I'm still here.

    It's hard to know, suppose appreciate how strong your survival instinct is, it's how i usually look at it when i'm having a bad night. Can't remember exactly when my 'troubles' started so can't totally empathise, but keep posting here.. Someone's usually about. Oh sorry for taking so long to reply. :o


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    #7865
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    Gremlinertia wrote: »
    It's hard to know, suppose appreciate how strong your survival instinct is, it's how i usually look at it when i'm having a bad night. Can't remember exactly when my 'troubles' started so can't totally empathise, but keep posting here.. Someone's usually about. Oh sorry for taking so long to reply. :o

    It's like a landmark in a way. I dunno, probably best try not to focus on it and keep on moving.


  • Options
    #7866
    noah45
    Registered Users Posts: 425 ✭✭noah45


    So down today due to so many family issues at the moment. On the plus side at least there is a reason for it but on the downside I feel broken


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    #7867
    Gremlinertia
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,728 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    noah45 wrote: »
    So down today due to so many family issues at the moment. On the plus side at least there is a reason for it but on the downside I feel broken

    I seem to let everything around me get on top of me so that i get. My faultm always my fault. But when you get logical after the dark night it will settle somewhat.. If not, PM me, we'll talk more.. :(


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    #7868
    banquo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭banquo


    How I Cured My Anxiety

    First off, this isn't some spam bull**** where you go buy a book at the end. I've been on boards for over a decade and, having been in a place where I thought the curse would never leave, I wanted to pop back to this thread and offer some advice and, hopefully, some hope for fellow anxiety sufferers.

    I won’t go into the details of the awfulness of anxiety - chances are that, if you’re posting here at 4am, you know well what it’s like. But I’ll give a quick history of my battle with it for context.

    18 months ago: first panic attack. Thought I was dying, A&E, etc. Then another one two weeks later. And that’s how the spiral began.

    Truthfully, having anxiety was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’d always had it. I’ve known since I was 12 that something ‘wasn’t quite right’ and I’d probably have a mental health issue some day. The slight derealisation a few times a day for as long as I can remember, the tension, the agoraphobia, thinking I was going crazy - having these attacks forced me to come to terms with it all.

    There is Hope. You Will Get Better.
    Life was a bucket of sh*t for the next 6 months, when I finally sought help after presenting myself to a Garda station at 4am asking them to put me in a cell. A year on, I am 99% free of anxiety. Here’s how:

    1) Drugs!
    I got Lustral, an SSRI as you likely know. First month: suicidal. Awful. Never again. Tip for anxiety sufferers: don’t read the warnings. Really, bad idea.

    Medication is not the solution. Medication is the cast on the leg that protects the leg so it can heal. Medication will only work in combination with other things.

    2) Meditation.
    Not even joking. I was the absolute last person to ever consider such nonsense. But I downloaded (on the advice of the only good doctor I ever met) ‘’Full Catastrophe Living’’ by Jon-Kabat Zinn.

    I felt 10 times better within a week. It's a great, great book, and it actually f*cking works.

    3) Exercise
    Specifically, running.

    Same doctor told me to get runners, and go run as f*cking hard and as fast for as long as I could and not to stop until I couldn’t breathe. I smoke 20 a day and haven’t exercised since Junior Cert PE, and I ran 3km. When I got home, I genuinely burst into tears because I felt normal for the first time in 6 months. I never believed I would feel normal again.

    Run.

    4) Smoking
    Not gonna tell you to give up smoking, because it’s not gonna happen.
    What are f*cking great are the electronic cigarettes. Just nicotine, nothing else to get the nervous system excited. Within two or three days you will feel a serious drop in your anxiety levels. Hand on heart, I cannot stress electronic smokes enough. Don’t the the disposable ones from Spar; go to a stall in a shopping centre and get the real ones. I’ve had great success with the VIP brand.

    5) Finally, this article from Cracked.com

    http://www.cracked.com/funny-7783-anxiety/

    Seriously. F*ck every other blog or help site on the internet, they’re only trying to sell you weeds or a bad book. Follow this article’s instructions religiously.

    So that’s it. I had it as bad as anyone - probably worst than most, truth be told, won’t go into it here - but it gets better. I would have killed for someone to have told me that at any time. I haven’t posted in this thread in ages, but I came back on the off chance that it might give another person with the same problem some hope. I thought I'd never be able to leave my house, and now I'm making more money than I ever thought I'd make and having an absolute blast. You are going to be ok.

    Anxiety is not permanent. Anxiety is bullsh*t, and it can go away.

    You will get better, and any anxious thought that makes you believe otherwise is a goddamned liar.

    Rob


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    #7869
    noah45
    Registered Users Posts: 425 ✭✭noah45


    I seem to let everything around me get on top of me so that i get. My faultm always my fault. But when you get logical after the dark night it will settle somewhat.. If not, PM me, we'll talk more..

    Thank you I might pm you later, just even your offer makes such a difference to me, it brings tears to my eyes. Thank you.
    Today I don't even want to get up but I have to, kids to drop etc.


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    #7870
    Gremlinertia
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,728 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Last dayshift yesterday, hopefully the stability of nights only will help with mood swings.. They've been getting scary and splitting between days and nights cannot be helping.

    Hope you are all ok..


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    #7871
    NegativeCreep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,351 ✭✭✭NegativeCreep


    Found out a lot of stuff about my family this weekend. Horrible stuff. I feel like I've been torn apart.


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    #7872
    Lightbulb Sun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,405 ✭✭✭Lightbulb Sun


    Great post banquo.


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    #7873
    noah45
    Registered Users Posts: 425 ✭✭noah45


    NegativeCreep wrote: »
    Found out a lot of stuff about my family this weekend. Horrible stuff. I feel like I've been torn apart.


    I can relate to that!!


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    #7874
    shy_boy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭shy_boy


    Can anyone recommend a good councellor in the south east of the country for me.. I dont want to go public.. Or is there a website with a list? Thanks.
    Shyboy
    (need to get this sorted once and for all)


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    #7875
    banquo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭banquo


    The team at St. Patrick's Hospital in Dublin will be able to recommend someone that's actually worth your time and money! Give them a ring. Don't go with a randomer, or you'll end up with someone like mine:

    Week 1: Made me make a list of all the things I was afraid of. Left a wreck.
    Week 2: "Fright therapy"
    Week 3: She produces crayons.

    "Um, we both knew this relationship wasn't going to be forever..."

    /leaves


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    #7876
    shy_boy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭shy_boy


    banquo wrote: »
    The team at St. Patrick's Hospital in Dublin will be able to recommend someone that's actually worth your time and money! Give them a ring. Don't go with a randomer, or you'll end up with someone like mine:

    Week 1: Made me make a list of all the things I was afraid of. Left a wreck.
    Week 2: "Fright therapy"
    Week 3: She produces crayons.

    "Um, we both knew this relationship wasn't going to be forever..."

    /leaves
    Would you have a number i could ring please and thanks
    shyboy


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    #7877
    Pro crastinator
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭Pro crastinator


    Hi everyone. Been lurking here for a bit and finally decided to register and talk to real people instead of myself!

    Been anxious all my life but it became a problem in school/college 10 years ago. The long story short for me is poor self esteem and self doubt -> anxiety -> avoidance/procrastination -> failure -> depression -> rinse, repeat

    I've been bullied and had an abusive relationship, so my self esteem is as low as it can go. I have generalised anxiety and pretty bad social anxiety, don't socialise much except online. Can't deal with big groups of people and have declined to attend a number of weddings this year. I'm also doing college part time (working full time as need the money) and have awful anxiety about assessments and exams. This makes me procrastinate very badly and set myself up for even more failure. Right now I should be sleeping/doing an assessment but I'm posting this so there ya go.

    Have had a few depressive episodes in the past 10 years. Last time effexor worked great, but not working so well now. Was referred to public psych who added mirtazapine which knocked me out and made me put on 2 stone so I've come off that. I need to go back to the psych to talk other medication options, but I'm pretty limited in choice as I have awful side effects from SSRI, SNRI, mirtaz. I have drug induced IBS from the effexor and get awful pain and constipation. Woe is me etc.

    I was referred for public CBT, but the waiting list goes back to 2011. Would love to go private for CBT but money is an issue.

    So... yeah. I'm pretty feckin stuck. I hope posting here will help me be accountable and work towards recovery. Any suggestions for self help books, courses etc would be really welcome.

    Currently wondering whether or not to ring in sick to work tomorrow to recover from today's bad anxiety. Then the negative voices in my head tell me there's nothing wrong with me coz I don't have a physical illness so I'd be a total waster if I didn't go in. Ah the joys.

    Sorry for the essay just a lot going on in the head right now! Hope to talk to ye soon


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    #7878
    Gremlinertia
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,728 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Hi Pro crastinator, welcome to the thread, have to say the public route is slow, but stay with it.. Depending on where you are based you may be able to find a 'sliding rate' counselling service - that's the route i'm going while i await psychologist, unfortunately mental health issues are not like broken bones where you have a timeline and can see that, yup, six weeks and i'm sorted.. However there's plenty of us in the same boat, hopefully this thread will help you.


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    #7879
    Pro crastinator
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭Pro crastinator


    Gremlinertia wrote: »
    Hi Pro crastinator, welcome to the thread, have to say the public route is slow, but stay with it.. Depending on where you are based you may be able to find a 'sliding rate' counselling service - that's the route i'm going while i await psychologist, unfortunately mental health issues are not like broken bones where you have a timeline and can see that, yup, six weeks and i'm sorted.. However there's plenty of us in the same boat, hopefully this thread will help you.

    Thanks so much Gremlinertia. I did "talk therapy" style counselling in the past and I would be able to find another affordable similar service near me. But I just didn't find it helped. I have a lot of negative self perceptions that I need help challenging, and talk therapy just doesn't do it for me. Will have to talk to my partner about finding the money for private CBT I think. Sure what's the point in having money and no quality of life eh?


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    #7880
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    Welcome aboard Pre crastinator


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    #7881
    Lightbulb Sun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,405 ✭✭✭Lightbulb Sun


    Had an argument with my parents about my hesitancy to start meds again. I'm tooing and froing on this everyday. I just resent the side effects this type of tablets bring and being in the position to take them. I fear their interference on energy levels and the like. It's an argument I really didn't want as we were getting along nicely recently. I'm not fond of myself for being such a prickly twat either. I just don't feel like I'll ever be a useful person.


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    #7882
    Pro crastinator
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭Pro crastinator


    Lightbulb Sun wrote: »
    Had an argument with my parents about my hesitancy to start meds again. I'm tooing and froing on this everyday. I just resent the side effects this type of tablets bring and being in the position to take them. I fear their interference on energy levels and the like. It's an argument I really didn't want as we were getting along nicely recently. I'm not fond of myself for being such a prickly twat either. I just don't feel like I'll ever be a useful person.

    It's a tough situation to be in, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I'm in much the same position myself. What's the lesser of two evils for you at the moment?


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    #7883
    Lightbulb Sun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,405 ✭✭✭Lightbulb Sun


    Pro crastinator wrote: »
    It's a tough situation to be in, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I'm in much the same position myself. What's the lesser of two evils for you at the moment?

    Taking them is probably the lesser evil now if only cos it might cause my parents less frustration. I have things on in the next few days which I see as very important to me. It's just bad timing really. Adjusting to the intake of them. From what I can remember, they activate me in a motivated way, but they kind of tire you deceptively soon after.


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    #7884
    Gremlinertia
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,728 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Lightbulb Sun wrote: »
    Taking them is probably the lesser evil now if only cos it might cause my parents less frustration. I have things on in the next few days which I see as very important to me. It's just bad timing really. Adjusting to the intake of them. From what I can remember, they activate me in a motivated way, but they kind of tire you deceptively soon after.

    If it helps, it took nearly a year for me to find the right combination and level of drugs. Constant monitoring with either monthly visits to psych day hospital (that was my route, with casualty for emergencies) or regular doctor..


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    #7885
    NegativeCreep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,351 ✭✭✭NegativeCreep


    The agoraphobia that has accompanied my anxiety and depression since around age 12 has worsened so much this week. I can't even o to the shop. Haven't left the house in a week and 2 days.


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    #7886
    Marzipan85
    Registered Users Posts: 133 ✭✭Marzipan85


    I have a possibly pretentious statement to make: having depression is like living in 2D. Being happy is like living in 3D. Living in 2D, everything is flat, you have no depth perception.


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    #7887
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    Have my 3 monthly checkin with my psychiatrist next Tuesday. I haven't been too bad lately: the anxiety has faded a bit (it still flares up at times)and my bouts of low mood/ being despondent isn't too bad either atm. Two things are concerning me though: I have constant suicide ideation and continuing paranoia.

    The suicide ideation has come up before - they actually asked me had I those kinda thoughts and even though I said I had them, they didn't seem too concerned. I don't know if I'm just morbid or if it's something to try and tackle.

    I haven't said the paranoia to them yet as I'm afraid they'll change my meds. Last time I was talking to them they increased my meds so I fear the next step would be to change them partially or even fully. I'm at a crucial enough stage of my college course at the moment and am afraid a change of meds could potentially **** my head up worse than it already is (which has happened before - I won't name the drug obviously). This paranoia has caused me to sabotage a lot in my meager social life already so I do think I need to tackle it somehow.

    What's the consensus here do ye think: should I bring them up on Tuesday or just see how I get on until the next visit?


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    #7888
    Gremlinertia
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,728 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »
    Have my 3 monthly checkin with my psychiatrist next Tuesday. I haven't been too bad lately: the anxiety has faded a bit (it still flares up at times)and my bouts of low mood/ being despondent isn't too bad either atm. Two things are concerning me though: I have constant suicide ideation and continuing paranoia.

    The suicide ideation has come up before - they actually asked me had I those kinda thoughts and even though I said I had them, they didn't seem too concerned. I don't know if I'm just morbid or if it's something to try and tackle.

    I haven't said the paranoia to them yet as I'm afraid they'll change my meds. Last time I was talking to them they increased my meds so I fear the next step would be to change them partially or even fully. I'm at a crucial enough stage of my college course at the moment and am afraid a change of meds could potentially **** my head up worse than it already is (which has happened before - I won't name the drug obviously). This paranoia has caused me to sabotage a lot in my meager social life already so I do think I need to tackle it somehow.

    What's the consensus here do ye think: should I bring them up on Tuesday or just see how I get on until the next visit?

    Write down exactly that second last paragraph and bring it to them.. I reckon that they'll keep you stable until you're over the course..

    My two cents :o


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    #7889
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    Gremlinertia wrote: »
    Write down exactly that second last paragraph and bring it to them.. I reckon that they'll keep you stable until you're over the course..

    My two cents :o

    Thanks for the reply.

    I'll have a good think and plan before then. I'll try bring it up gently with them.


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    #7890
    Pro crastinator
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭Pro crastinator


    Marzipan85 wrote: »
    I have a possibly pretentious statement to make: having depression is like living in 2D. Being happy is like living in 3D. Living in 2D, everything is flat, you have no depth perception.

    I can relate to that. I experience derealization a lot. The way I described it to a GP once was "it's like there's a veil between me and the rest of the world". She suggested I get an eye test :rolleyes:


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    #7891
    Call Me Jimmy
    Registered Users Posts: 8,449 ✭✭✭Call Me Jimmy


    Pro crastinator wrote: »
    "it's like there's a veil between me and the rest of the world".

    This is the case for me at the moment. Worringly so. I believe my mental health will seriously deteriorate to a point where it may be unrecoverable within this year.


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