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Gender Fluid

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  • 02-07-2015 8:18pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Does anyone here identify as gender fluid? Like, not quite trans, but somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. For me, I wake up some day wishing I didn't have these great big things on my chest, will dress in baggy 'boy' clothes, can't even stomach putting on a bra let alone make up or doing my hair up any more than just a ponytail.

    Other days I would slap on the war paint to beat the band, dress up to the nines in dresses, very 'fem' in appearance. But in general middle of the road days I would prefer the androgynous style. I'm looking into getting binders and packers but wouldn't feel comfortable enough to 'come out' all over again and wear them in front of my family. They were all brilliant when I came out as a lesbian, but trying to explain that sometimes I feel very masculine, more so than a butch lesbian, yet I don't want to get a sex change or anything along those lines.. well I can barely wrap my own head around it let alone try and explain to anyone else!! And even though I would feel like I actually am a man on those days, it's not like I'd get insulted if someone referred to me as She... It's all just so complicated and fresh in my head!
    Have other people gone through something similar who can share their experience? Have people be accepting of your male (or female) alter ego on days when they decide to poke their head out?!


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    #2
    Goodshape
    Registered Users Posts: 8,488 ✭✭✭Goodshape


    I like to think of labels as being for other peoples benefits.

    "Male".

    "Female".

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Be yourself. There's no way you can't be that.


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    #3
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    I don't know if I would describe myself as gender fluid per se, but I am very butch to look at, but probably quite femme in lots of my mannerisms. So in some ways I guess I'm a bit... Somewhere in the middle. I do identify strongly as female though. So maybe that goes against what I just said.

    I get looks and shouted at in ladies toilets a fair bit- so much so that I really try and avoid using them in public places. I find myself puffing out my chest more to "show off" that I am a female. It's really bizarre. This morning for example I was at a work event and I got called "sir" 3 times and got double takes when fixing my hair in the mirror of he ladies. I even got a genuine gasp with a hand in front of a mouth! It's not the mistaking I mind- I get that present myself as masculine. It's the dramatic and sometimes abusive reactions I get.


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    #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi Freshly, I am what I like to call Bi Gendered, While being born male and identifying mostly as male I still have the mental urge to be female. Some days I look in the mirror in male mode and could care less about what I see looking back and wish I could change it, while others I wish I didnt have to battle myself and could JUST be male.

    Ive told my sister and my circle of friends and thankfully in this day and age they are all accepting, as I explained to them that I dont believe im transsexual since I enjoy aspects of being male but that I do present as female from time to time.

    I think its an awful position to be in, since as people like to joke that Bisexuals get the best of both worlds, its really difficult waking up and not being sure which gender your brain wants you to be that day. So while I might watch a war film or hang out with the lads, ill pass a woman walking by and wish I could look like her at times. Then on other days Ill want to throw on a suit or a football jersey or do some DIY and work up a sweat.

    The biggest challenge is coming to accept it, which is still on going but I went out for the pride parade back in June with some gay friends dressed as a girl and had a really great time. The general public on the day didnt really bat an eyelid aside from a few stares, but Im quite tall so I stick out as it is. Got a number of compliments, but the ones about being brave or courageous enough to go outside were the best ones, because thats the hardest part.

    I hope some of that sounds similar to yourself, Any other questions, ask away.


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    #5
    Pumpkin PJs Fan No.9
    Closed Accounts Posts: 87 ✭✭Pumpkin PJs Fan No.9


    OP, I wrestled with my gender for years and I deluded myself into thinking I was happy as something inbetween - not worrying about pornouns (pornouns?) and such - walking down the street looking like some kind of gender-confused, interstellar, classicist goth. I kinda wish I could have been happy like that - but it became apparent it was never going to be enough, as all of a sudden pornouns became very important to me as feminine took a flamethrower to the thing between my legs and said - "F**k You, bitch!* - metaphorically speaking, of course. So, I started popping the pills and changed my name and haven't looked back since. But I did walk that strange tightrope for years. And I kinda envy your situation, seeing as you seem quite content.

    You would also be amazed at the affect a thing like a name change will have on the way people will view you too. I'm still exactly the same interstellar, classicist goth I was before - just a little less confused.


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    #6
    Pumpkin PJs Fan No.9
    Closed Accounts Posts: 87 ✭✭Pumpkin PJs Fan No.9


    OP, I wrestled with my gender for years and I deluded myself into thinking I was happy as something inbetween - not worrying about pornouns (pornouns?) and such - walking down the street looking like some kind of gender-confused, interstellar, classicist goth. I kinda wish I could have been happy like that - but it became apparent it was never going to be enough, as all of a sudden pornouns became very F**king important to me and eventually my feminine side took a flamethrower to the thing between my legs and said - "F**k You, bitch!* - metaphorically speaking, of course. So, I started popping the pills and changed my name and haven't looked back since. But I did walk that strange tightrope for years. And I kinda envy your situation, seeing as you seem quite content.

    You would also be amazed at the affect a thing like a name change will have on the way people will view you too. I'm still exactly the same interstellar, classicist goth I was before - just a little less confused.


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    #7
    jobbridge4life
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    I don't think of myself as gender fluid, I don't have one or the other days, I'd say I am like a-gendered mentally if that makes sense. I know I am a male but that means or feels nothing to me. I don' feel like a woman but I don't in anyway feel not like one either. I just am what I am I guess. There is a lot about the stereotypical behaviours of either gender that make me cringe as there are elements of both that I embody.


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    #8
    Pumpkin PJs Fan No.9
    Closed Accounts Posts: 87 ✭✭Pumpkin PJs Fan No.9


    jobbridge4life wrote: »
    I don't think of myself as gender fluid, I don't have one or the other days, I'd say I am like a-gendered mentally if that makes sense. I know I am a male but that means or feels nothing to me. I don' feel like a woman but I don't in anyway feel not like one either. I just am what I am I guess. There is a lot about the stereotypical behaviours of either gender that make me cringe as there are elements of both that I embody.

    Well, if it's not an issue for you, I would say, that's a good thing. It's only when you start to feel body and mind become incongruous to one another - that it becomes a problem.

    Hey, if it ain't broken... You know...


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