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"The Talk"

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  • 21-01-2008 1:18pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,

    I am in a relationship with a guy that lives in Wales (I live in Dublin)

    It is going GREAT, and we are mad about each other. We have been travelling over and back to each other for a while... But is starting to get quite expensive with flights and phonecalls etc etc. We manage to see each other almost 2 weekends a months (..ish) but I really want to have a chat about whether either of us would consider moving to the other. Not necessarily to live together, but to make things easier, both financially and on the heart. We are both in our 20's (23 and 27) and have been dating for a few months.

    How would I bring this subject up? It hasn't ever cropped up, but I feel like I NEED to have this conversation just for peace of mind...

    Would I freak him out by bringing this topic up?

    Thanks!


Comments

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    #2
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,093 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    A few months? How many months? I would say it may be a bit early to start talking about a big step, like moving country and job. Depending on the guy, he may think it's moving too fast. OK it's expensive and a pain, but I would personally hold off on that talk for a while. Maybe not hold off on talking about it casually, but I wouldn't make a point of it. That could be me though, I don't like to be rushed. :D

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #3
    scoey
    Registered Users Posts: 219 ✭✭scoey


    As you're not necessarily talking about moving in together, I'm sure he'll be quite happy when you tell him you're planning on moving to Wales.


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    #4
    Marksie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    should it freak him out?

    depends how you approach it. If its open ideas and suggestions with no if buts and have too's its a reasonable thing to do .

    your discussing options based on the current situation.


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    #5
    sham_bo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭sham_bo


    Maybe it might be a good idea for you both to take a holiday together for a week or 10 days? That way you'll get to spend lots of time together and it might make you both realise that you want to be together more regularly. Then you could discuss what it would be like to live closer to one another and see what comes out of that? Always best to communicate though!


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    #6
    azezil
    Registered Users Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    Thats a really big step, moving country, granted its just across the water a relatively short distance but as has been said already, giving up a job and country to be with someone, you'd have to be pretty damn serious about the person and if it is as you say only been a few months, I'd personally think that's too soon.


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    #7
    Girrrrseach
    Registered Users Posts: 218 ✭✭Girrrrseach


    How long exactly are you with him? If we are talking 2 or 3 months, then leave it. Thats a fairly heavy pressure on the relationship to last - You could find yourself having moved country, job, left your family and friends, and then you break up.....


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