Boyf always looking at other women

Berrynice · 06-01-2008 9:51pm #1

Hey all , just a quick question when should a girl be worried.
I am no prune or prude. But constantly seeing stuff on my computer that my boyf leaves behind. Porn vids , dirty pics , nude girls , and what i find the most worrying is a scrapbook of pretty girls faces , all famous dark haired beauties???
Is it I am not attractive enough or that he is bored of me.
I am still slim , after many years of dating him , I am adventurous in bed , and think I still look hot ???

Any ideas???

Karoma · 06-01-2008 9:52pm

Moved from AH.

Ruu_Old · 06-01-2008 9:56pm

Well he is still being faithful to you, correct? There is nothing wrong with looking as long as he knows where to draw the line and doesn't sound like there is anything wrong with what he is doing.
Most of us men are visually stimulated.

Piste · 06-01-2008 9:59pm

You can be on a diet and still look at the menu

looking at these pics and vids can give your boyf what? a momentary thrill? a rush of excitement for a few minutes?

Now think of what you give him, love, affection, you probably put up with his annoying little habits!

Nah you've nothnig to worry about, most guys do it.

dudara · 06-01-2008 10:03pm

Guys will always look. It's a fact of life. A guy will always look at women, even when in a happy committed relationship.

It is unfortunate that it is making you feel uncomfortable. You really need to think why you feel this way. Are there are other insecurities in your relationship?

spinandscribble · 06-01-2008 10:04pm

the porn is fine, natural even but the scrapbook? alittle weird and teenage girlie.

Overheal · 06-01-2008 10:10pm

Porns fine. The woman we see: they dont have any personality - theyre just a body. It just satisfies simple male urge and in many a relationship the guy/girl will have a very high sex drive.

If you want to try something new suggest you both masturbate together. He'll remember that for ... quite a while

Toots · 06-01-2008 10:12pm

I think men will always look, even if they're in a happy loving relationship.;)

Most lads I know who are in relationships will all look at porn, but they'll have the common sense to delete the history file on the pc beofre the missus comes along and sees it. Hell I know my OH looks at it, but he is discrete about it it. I've never found anything on the computer. Men don't seem to have any emotional attachment to these women in the porn sites, it's just a means to an end for them (no pun intended).:p

The one thing I'd be a bit worried about is the scrapbook? Leaving that on the pc is just inconsiderate on his part.

Tell him to delete the history in future and maybe move the scrapbook to a USB key or something so you don't have to look at it.

spinandscribble · 06-01-2008 10:18pm

oops! i imagined an actual scrapbook. either way its a bit odd, just the faces i mean.

Talliesin · 06-01-2008 11:44pm

OP, are you saying you don't look at men at all?

If I was your b/f I'd be worried about that.

Berrynice · 07-01-2008 8:19am

Ok guys, thanks....

Reku · 07-01-2008 9:14am

Men will always keep looking at other women just as women will always look at other men when in a relationship, we're just not as good at being subtle/lying about it.
I can understand that you'd find it a bit off-putting that he does it on your computer though, surely he should show some discression and get his own?

Overheal · 07-01-2008 3:00pm

encourage him to be more discrete about it if it bothers you. I mean christ, I'm the computer wiz in the house and my dad used to leave the viral porn shortcuts sitting on the desktop... :eek:

Theres a specialty designed porn browser available for U3 enabled flash drives. I'd use it if firefox and common sense and norton didnt keep my computer clean

but it does work nicely - all the nasty stays on the flash drive: you wont even see a browsing history in intersh*t explorer afterward. Its called Heatseek if i recall correctly - cant find a download link however. Firefox Portable also works fine for the cause. Just have him go buy a USB thumb drive that has U3 technology - it will be clearly labelled on the box if it does.

meko · 21-01-2008 2:55am

Berrynice wrote: »

Hey all , just a quick question when should a girl be worried.
I am no prune or prude. But constantly seeing stuff on my computer that my boyf leaves behind. Porn vids , dirty pics , nude girls , and what i find the most worrying is a scrapbook of pretty girls faces , all famous dark haired beauties???
Is it I am not attractive enough or that he is bored of me.
I am still slim , after many years of dating him , I am adventurous in bed , and think I still look hot ???

Any ideas???[/quote

Every guy looks at other women. Its the ones who claim they don,t you need to watch out for. I have girlie pics on my pc and nice desktop pic of lara croft in her great gear! and perfect ass. Boys will be boys! Scrape book thing is a bit different though. Might ask him what thats about? Don't ever take it personally or feel that your not good enough.

Buzz Buzz · 21-01-2008 2:59am

As a guy I was ready throw my eyes up and tell you to relax its only porn, everyone does it.. but a scrapbook..? Thats very strange! And infairness he should be a little more discreet..

WhiteWashMan · 21-01-2008 3:14am

As long as your BF doesnt look at other women, and start comparing you to them, or make remarks to the effect that you should be more like them.

Every one looks. Even you

Hell, I look at every pair of breats on the street, and the missus knows it. But i Love my wife, and I wouldnt swap her for the world, and Im certainly not looking at women in the street that I might go off and shag them or anything.
Hell, if youre not looking, youre not breathing as far as im concerned!

With regards the stuff on the computer, if you dont like it, then you need to talk to him and say it. Its ok to be uncomfortable about that sort of thing, even if some people here tell you 'its only porn'. That doesnt mean that if you dont like it then youre weird, it just means you dont like it. and thats ok. But you need to have that conversaion with your BF. if he doesnt repsect your point of view, then you need to think about things. But of course, if you are going to have that conversation, be sure to understand yourself exactly what your issues are, and exactly how it makes you feel. Blokes tend to give short shrift to anyone who cant express exactly what they mean, and the last thing you want is to chat, and not feel like youve gone through a huge ordeal and not have anything come out the other end.

the scrapbook IS weird. Id really have to ask what thats about. It may be some sort of fantasy role play in his head, or he may be making the perfect woman to create when he has finished his mad scientist degree. who knows. But until you talk to him abotu it, you wont know, and cant really judge. Once he tells you that its for (insert dodgy sexual fantasy or mad scientist scheme here) then you can crack the sihts at him!
and rightly so in my opinion.

anyway, its good to talk...

Balmed Out · 21-01-2008 3:31pm

I think its really weird that hed leave porn on the computer where you could find it and completely ****ed up that he has a scrapbook of brunettes. Thats a little bit obsessive and i think u deserve to know why. As for checking out girls i think its an instinct and very hard to stop.

St Bill · 21-01-2008 8:32pm

Leaving it on the computer for you to see is not on. He should show a bit more respect. Tell him you don't mind him looking at porn as long as you don't have to look at it every time you use the computer.

Boyf always looking at other women

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