Is it acceptable to use a fork with my right hand?

Spirogyra · 28-02-2015 1:31pm #1

I tend to read while I eat, sometimes using a fork only, with my right hand. Find this easier. If I did so in company/public, would I look uncivilsed? S

2xj3hplqgsbkym · 28-02-2015 1:36pm

I presume that if you are reading, that there is nobody else at the table. In which case the only people to see you are strangers in the cafe or restaurant , so it doesn't really matter.

L1m1tless · 28-02-2015 1:36pm

Using a fork with your right hand is OK if you are not using a knife at the same time, but if you are eating with company it would be rude to be reading!

Kovu · 28-02-2015 2:36pm

I often use fork in my right hand and knife in my left but that's because I couldn't give a toss about if I look civilised or not. I usually try to keep them in the correct hands while eating out though.
My father is left handed but had to switch to right in school so he also does this and I grew up copying him.

ElleEm · 28-02-2015 2:41pm

I use a fork in my right hand as it feels more comfortable to me. It never occurred to me that anyone would deem in uncivilised! It is hardly like I am digging my mouth into a nose bag- it is only cutlery!

The Hill Billy · 28-02-2015 4:13pm

I switch between hands depending on what I am eating. I wouldn't consider use of the right or left hand for any piece of cutlery to be 'rude'.

However, when I see an adult holding a piece of cutlery in their fist like a toddler, rather than with their fingers, I would think it quite odd.

rubadub · 28-02-2015 5:23pm

Spirogyra wrote: »

I tend to read while I eat, sometimes using a fork only, with my right hand. Find this easier. If I did so in company/public, would I look uncivilsed? S

The majority of people hold a pen in their right hand. Do you think people using pens in their left hand look uncivilised? if not then apply the same logic. It's barely noticeable.

I expect most right handed people would hold a fork in their right hand, if it was all they were using.

I am right handed and use the fork in my right hand all the time. The only issue I ever had is that I tend to swop my knife & fork around in restaurants before the food arrives and I have had waiters coming over and reswitch them, presumably thinking someone laid the table incorrectly, unless they were trying to tame the wild uncouth beast that came into their place

athtrasna · 28-02-2015 5:25pm

I'm left handed so fork always goes in my right hand. Nothing uncivilised about it!

El_Duderino 09 · 28-02-2015 5:55pm

rubadub wrote: »

The majority of people hold a pen in their right hand. Do you think people using pens in their left hand look uncivilised? if not then apply the same logic. It's barely noticeable.

I expect most right handed people would hold a fork in their right hand, if it was all they were using

I am right handed and use the fork in my right hand all the time. The only issue I ever had is that I tend to swop my knife & fork around in restaurants before the food arrives and I have had waiters coming over and reswitch them, presumably thinking someone laid the table incorrectly, unless they were trying to tame the wild uncouth beast that came into their place

The are lots of rules which govern social interact. In most cases the rules are context dependant. Eating is a really important social interaction and has lots of rules including dress code, the order in which courses are served and behaviour (yes to chatting, no to burping or eating noisily) Glasses have a specific purpose as do the cutlery. There are really simple guides for holding cutlery. The same can't be said for pen holding so I think that analogy doesn't really work

Context is king.

If you are around your mates for fish and chips, I wouldn't worry.
If you're out with your boss in a nice restaurant then you are probably being judged on you're table manners whether you pay any attention to them or not.

Also, I like the whole experience of eating out and I think it's pretty normal to behave appropriately for the restaurant. In macdonalds they don't have cutlery and in cafes lots of the rules are different but in restaurants I expect everyone to behave appropriately.

listermint · 28-02-2015 5:57pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

The are lots of rules which govern social interact. In most cases the rules are context dependant. Eating is a really important social interaction and has lots of rules including dress code, the order in which courses are served and behaviour (yes to chatting, no to burping or eating noisily) Glasses have a specific purpose as do the cutlery. There are really simple guides for holding cutlery. The same can't be said for pen holding so I think that analogy doesn't really work

Context is king.

If you are around your mates for fish and chips, I wouldn't worry.
If you're out with your boss in a nice restaurant then you are probably being judged on you're table manners whether you pay any attention to them or not.

Also, I like the whole experience of eating out and I think it's pretty normal to behave appropriately for the restaurant. In macdonalds they don't have cutlery and in cafes lots of the rules are different but in restaurants I expect everyone to behave appropriately.

Ha.

That is all.

Im paying for the food. Il eat whatever way I choose. Now go get me another drink.

rubadub · 28-02-2015 6:01pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Eating is a really important social interaction and has lots of rules including The same can't be said for pen holding so I think

I think this particular "rule" is very similar to pen holding, I never thought of it as a rule or etiquette, but just what most people prefer to do. Why on earth would someone think it's uncivilised or have the slightest issue with it? if you can give me a good reason then I bet I could apply it to pen holding.

If the other way around was the norm would you have stuck to it, even if it felt unnatural and awkward?

This is not breaking some obvious "rule" like burping, eating with your hands, farting at the table, talking with your mouth full, spitting, holding a fork in your fist and stabbing food etc. I can obviously see how people might frown upon many rules, but not this.

If someone asked if its uncivilised to rotate their jaw clockwise when chewing I would also think it a strange question. Or if you cough which had do you hold up.

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

in restaurants I expect everyone to behave appropriately.

So if you saw me eating in a symmetrically different fashion would you actually consider me to behaving inappropriately?!? anything else you watch out for?

El_Duderino 09 · 28-02-2015 6:22pm

listermint wrote: »

Ha.

That is all.

Im paying for the food. Il eat whatever way I choose. Now go get me another drink.

No need for that Do whatever you want.

El_Duderino 09 · 28-02-2015 6:46pm

rubadub wrote: »

I think this particular "rule" is very similar to pen holding, I never thought of it as a rule or etiquette, but just what most people prefer to do. Why on earth would someone think it's uncivilised or have the slightest issue with it? if you can give me a good reason then I bet I could apply it to pen holding.

If the other way around was the norm would you have stuck to it, even if it felt unnatural and awkward?

This is not breaking some obvious "rule" like burping, eating with your hands, farting at the table, talking with your mouth full, spitting, holding a fork in your fist and stabbing food etc. I can obviously see how people might frown upon many rules, but not this.

If someone asked if its uncivilised to rotate their jaw clockwise when chewing I would also think it a strange question. Or if you cough which had do you hold up.

So if you saw me eating in a symmetrically different fashion would you actually consider me to behaving inappropriately?!? anything else you watch out for?

Ok. First, take a deep breath. I'm not telling you to do anything. I'm answering the thread question 'Is it acceptable to....' It's not illegal if that's what you mean but there is dining etiquette and I presume that's what the OP was asking about.

I said I expect people to behave appropriately but that's not true. I enjoy when people behave appropriately and I appreciate it.

Cutlery is definitely a part of dining etiquette. Just do a quick google. There are all sorts of cultural etiquette quidelines, British, French, American, Japanese... Burping, farting, holding cutlery, it's all in there whether you observe it or not.

Please don't mistake this post with me telling you to do anything.

rubadub · 02-03-2015 12:25am

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Please don't mistake this post with me telling you to do anything.

I didn't get that impression, dunno how the hell you got the impression I thought it was illegal!

I was simply asking a question, which you did not answer. I find it fascinating that people like you actually exist.

SMJSF · 02-03-2015 12:35am

The Hill Billy wrote:

However, when I see an adult holding a piece of cutlery in their fist like a toddler, rather than with their fingers, I would think it quite odd.

now, that's one of my pets hates!!

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 9:17am

rubadub wrote: »

I didn't get that impression, dunno how the hell you got the impression I thought it was illegal!

I was simply asking a question, which you did not answer. I find it fascinating that people like you actually exist.

I didn't answer your pointed questions because they were devoid of context which betrayed the fact that you didn't actually read my post so much as skim it for a hit of outrage. Context is king. I then corrected myself and said I appreciate table manners rather than expecting them.

People like me? Classy from a mod.

To the extent that you address the OP you misled them by telling them table manners regarding cutlery are 'barely noticeable' yet you acknowledge most of the other table manners apply (the ones you're aware of at least and thankfully you are aware of some).

Look I addressed the OP and you took way too much offence which you vented on your passive aggressive reply. So putting that aside, Yes there definitely are such thing as table manners and yes people do notice even if rubadub doesn't.

Now Rub you can relax and hold your cutlery with your feet for all I care because I'm not here to help you ape your betters. Simply addressing the OP.

Realt Dearg Sec · 02-03-2015 9:26am

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

in restaurants I expect everyone to behave appropriately.

Dude, you're being very undude.

Supercell · 02-03-2015 9:27am

If you are eating yourself hold it it in whatever hand you want. If you are at a business lunch or a formal occasion I would stick to holding it in the left hand.

beauf · 02-03-2015 9:34am

Spirogyra wrote: »

I tend to read while I eat, sometimes using a fork only, with my right hand. Find this easier. If I did so in company/public, would I look uncivilsed? S

It's a social convention.

How uncivilized will depend on the context and the company you're eating with. I'm sure some will be condescending about it. As that was partly the purpose of such etiquette in the first place. I assume.

The Hill Billy · 02-03-2015 9:35am

Folks, put the handbags away & help the OP.
Otherwise don't post.

Thanks,

tHB

beauf · 02-03-2015 10:31am

Apparently its has switched hands over time.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-forks-history-is-not-a-big-mystery/2011/09/01/gIQA0kYNaK_story.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eating_utensil_etiquette

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 10:49am

beauf wrote: »

Apparently its has switched hands over time.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-forks-history-is-not-a-big-mystery/2011/09/01/gIQA0kYNaK_story.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eating_utensil_etiquette

That's really interesting. I suppose it makes sense that these social rules would change, especially given the variation in cultural dining habits. Lots of cultures don't use knives and forks at all and some cultures in South East Asia use a fork and spoon so they must have totally different rules for eating with chopsticks or using their hands.

Eye opener for me in this thread is that most posters don't even see cutlery use as part of table manners at all.

beauf · 02-03-2015 11:07am

The question then, is should you switch hands depending on you are with.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Table_manners

or its it really about class division.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/personal-view/3618904/Everybodys-talking-about-etiquette-but-what-were-really-interested-in-is-class.html

or is it about persecution about left handiness

http://allday.com/post/1719-left-handers-have-been-persecuted-for-centuries
http://www.capitolhilltimes.com/2013/01/on-the-other-hand-a-persecuted-class/

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 11:53am

Definitely context dependent. When in Rome. We all do this instinctively anyway. In a casual cafe you could lean back with your arm around an empty chair next to you if it's comfortable but you probably wouldn't even think of it in a restaurant and the same applies to other table manners including cutlery.

If it's a big group then I just do my thing while everyone else does their own thing. In a more intimate setting its better to go along with the crowd to avoid making anyone else uncomfortable.

If everyone else at the table is holding their fork in their fist, with their face perpendicular to the table and their elbow above the top of their head, then I'm not sure what I'd do. I'd probably just relax my own standards and not dwell on table manners because none of the company is likely to be noticing or offended by table manners. I wouldn't go full native though.

My in-laws are great, we have great craic when we sit down for dinner together and they don't mind that much about table manners so neither do I when I'm in their house. I know how to operate a knife and fork in polite company though and I'm very glad that I can.

I think the trick is to know your audience and try to fit in. All I know is that if your manners make other people uncomfortable then you need to adjust your behaviour, that goes for those who appreciate traditional manners and those who don't.

What do you think?

DoYouEvenLift · 02-03-2015 12:00pm

I don't judge how people hold cutler unless it's that infant grip. I do judge how people eat, though. If you eat with your mouth open and make slobbing, clapping noises I'll wish I could slap you. Even worse if you speak with a lot of food in your mouth.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 12:08pm

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I don't judge how people hold cutler unless it's that infant grip. I do judge how people eat, though. If you eat with your mouth open and make slobbing, clapping noises I'll wish I could slap you. Even worse if you speak with a lot of food in your mouth.

Since you outlined some of the rules that you do observe and some which you find really rude, do you think it's likely that there are people who do notice how people hold cutlery. Some people don't notice audible mastication but you do. Some don't notice cutlery, some do.

beauf · 02-03-2015 12:24pm

If someone finds holding the fork in the wrong hand (according to them), uncomfortable. I guess pointing out its the same hand people used when people only used knives and hands, isn't going oil the wheels.

DoYouEvenLift · 02-03-2015 12:27pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Since you outlined some of the rules that you do observe and some which you find really rude, do you think it's likely that there are people who do notice how people hold cutlery. Some people don't notice audible mastication but you do. Some don't notice cutlery, some do.

There are definitely people who judge how you hold your cutlery lol. Some people even judge how far you move your head towards the fork or spoon to get the food in your mouth.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 12:35pm

Not really so I suppose you're right. You pointed out that conventions change so obsolete conventions are no longer relevant. When current conventions are superseded the same will apply and it will behoove us to observe the convention of the time.

Does that oil the wheels for you?

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 12:40pm

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

There are definitely people who judge how you hold your cutlery lol. Some people even judge how far you move your head towards the fork or spoon to get the food in your mouth.

Agreed. Some people believe in table manners so fervently that they feel violent impulses when others break conventions like chewing loudly or speaking with food in their mouth. Imagine that LOL

JONJO THE MISER · 02-03-2015 1:38pm

Are people serious, i always use the fork in my right hand, never heard about this fork in a left hand stuff before.
Must of missed that day at school.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 2:05pm

JONJO THE MISER wrote: »

Are people serious, i always use the fork in my right hand, never heard about this fork in a left hand stuff before.
Must of missed that day at school.

Yes quite serious.

They don't usually teach it in schools though. It would be no harm to let children know that there are different codes of behaviour in different situations. I was taught how to enter a room and make a good first impression in school and from my parents and I'm eternally grateful. Were you mocking the idea of learning those social interaction skills in school? One of us observes them and the other didn't know they existed until now.

I feel sorry when at a formal occasion I see a grown man who looks completely uncomfortable in his Sunday Best. Shuffling awkwardly, not knowing whether to make eye contact and offering a limp fish as a handshake as they grunt their name at you.

If someone took that man aside, when he was in school, for even 20 minutes they could teach them how to behave in formal situations and how to know what's appropriate and it would stand to them for life. He wouldn't be any cleverer or a better person but he could be more relaxed and he could make sure he gives off a good first impression.

Whether people like it or not we make decisions about people based on strange information. How they walk into a room, how they introduce themselves, how they groom and dress themselves, how they carry themselves, how they behave at the dining table, diction, accent, vocabulary. Some of these are logical and can genuinely tell you about a persons background or likely future behaviour, others are less informative, but they persist regardless.

There are countless adages about making decisions about people in a very short time frame. The adage 'dont judge a book by it's cover' betrays the fact that people instinctively judge the book by the cover and we need to be reminded not to do so.

It shouldn't be that surprising really.

beauf · 02-03-2015 2:53pm

Which hand for Spork or Foon.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spork

Tarzana2 · 02-03-2015 3:13pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

That's really interesting. I suppose it makes sense that these social rules would change, especially given the variation in cultural dining habits. Lots of cultures don't use knives and forks at all and some cultures in South East Asia use a fork and spoon so they must have totally different rules for eating with chopsticks or using their hands.

Eye opener for me in this thread is that most posters don't even see cutlery use as part of table manners at all.

How can you state this in the very same post in which you acknowledge that in some cultures, knives and forks aren't even used? In some cultures, hands are all that are used.

Personally, I think there should be a relaxation of cutlery rules. Some food needs to be picked up using your fingers. The obvious is things like ribs, wing, lamb chops. But at home, my natural default for eating fish without sauce is to eat it with my hands. It just makes sense, as it's flaky and often bony. As long as finger bowls are provided, I don't see the issue.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 3:47pm

Tarzana2 wrote: »

How can you state this in the very same post in which you acknowledge that in some cultures, knives and forks aren't even used? In some cultures, hands are all that are used.

Personally, I think there should be a relaxation of cutlery rules. Some food needs to be picked up using your fingers. The obvious is things like ribs, wing, lamb chops. But at home, my natural default for eating fish without sauce is to eat it with my hands. It just makes sense, as it's flaky and often bony. As long as finger bowls are provided, I don't see the issue.

Either you misunderstood or I didn't make myself clear. We all understand that there are other cultures which observe other rules. Some of them have to have other rules for table manners because they use different tools for dining such as chopsticks or fingers. I though everybody knew cutlery was part of our set of table manners the same way chopstick etiquette is important in Japan and South East Asia.

I don't have an opinion on whether those rules should be relaxed but I totally agree about eating with your hands when it's appropriate. One of my favourite dining experiences was in an Indian restaurant where everyone was expected to use their hands. One among us had recently been to India so she showed us the etiquette for eating with our hands. It's a lovely way to eat. A bit messy but it engages the sense of touch with the food and it added to the experience in my opinion.

beauf · 02-03-2015 3:50pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

...I feel sorry when at a formal occasion...

Some people don't like formal situations, or formal clothes. They simply aren't interested. Its an anathema to them. They probably pity people who enjoy such things.

rubadub · 02-03-2015 4:20pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Eye opener for me in this thread is that most posters don't even see cutlery use as part of table manners at all.

I only see people mentioning the left/right issue. Others, including myself have mentioned other manners/rules about cutlery, and I can understand the thinking/logic behind them.

It is this specific rule that puzzles me why people would get upset or "not appreciate" seeing people doing something which to me seems utterly benign.

As I said before I would consider it as weird as having an issue with chewing in an anticlockwise motion, if most did it clockwise. While I can see the logic behind other "rules" about the mouth, like talking with mouth open, slurping loudly, spitting etc.

beauf wrote: »

or is it about persecution about left handiness

I thought it was obviously this, and why I mentioned to apply the same logic as you would pen holders. I have had numerous people ask if I was left handed when they saw me eat this way. Many left handed people do. On wiki it was talking of having the knife in your "dominant" hand. I never once got the impression that anybody thought there was an issue with it.

I can fully understand why waiting staff lay tables that way, just like in exams your pencil pen might be on the right hand side.

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Yes quite serious.

They don't usually teach it in schools though.

They still do, unfortunately in some they even do it to the point of enforcing it. I thought this nonsense would have died out years ago, like you hear about nuns beating children to force them to use their left hands to write. It disgusts me to think this sort of thing still goes on.

http://www.anythinglefthanded.co.uk/left-handed-eating.html#sthash.Ll4NjpNp.a71GkSqJ.dpbs

Catherine originally posted a comment on our website saying:
“My son (nearly 8), is mostly right-handed, but eats with his knife and fork the left-handed way. I have recently found out that they are forcing him to eat the â€˜correct’ way at school meal times. I was shocked and outraged, but they claim that it is for his own goodâ€¦. Do you have any evidence of this being harmful to a child (in the same way that forcing a change in writing handedness can be)? He complains of tiredness and headaches, and has started developing a stammer and tics. He is also highly uncoordinated and regularly spills food down clothes when eating this way. I want to force the school to stop, so need some supporting evidence. Please help!”

Keith replied:
The symptoms you mention ARE similar to those that can arise from changing writing hand and while I have not seen any research or evidence about changing eating hands I guess it comes to the same thing. It may also just be that he is stressed from being pressurised by his teachers and that is causing the problems rather than anything to do with brain functionâ€. I would definitely advise letting him eat whichever way seems natural to him. It will be very interesting to see if his symptoms go away when he is allowed to go back to eating his natural way.

and we recently received a wonderful follow-up from Catherine:
Thank you so much for emailing me. Since all this happened, we have told our son to eat with whichever hand he feels most comfortable holding his fork in, and his tics / stammer have all but gone. He is calm and unstressed now. However, the school are not happy about this and claim that eating with your cutlery the ‘right way round’ is part of their social development programme. We are actively trying to dispute this and any thoughts you have about this or any research or supporting evidence would be most welcome.

We would be very interested in your experience of changing eating hands and any effect it had so please add your comments below.

- See more at: http://www.anythinglefthanded.co.uk/left-handed-eating.html#sthash.Ll4NjpNp.a71GkSqJ.dpuf

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bias_against_left-handed_people#Forced_use_of_right_hand

Forced use of right hand
Due to cultural and social pressures, many left-handed children are encouraged or forced to write and perform other activities with their right hands. This conversion can cause multiple problems in the developing left-handed child, including learning disorders, dyslexia,[27] stuttering[28][29][30] and other speech disorders.

Glad my parents never tried to put me through that ordeal.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 4:22pm

beauf wrote: »

Some people don't like formal situations, or formal clothes. They simply aren't interested. Its an anathema to them. They probably pity people who enjoy such things.

You're probably correct but it's hardly the point unless you can completely avoid formal situations for your entire life and never need to do anything you're not comfortable with.

It's hardly an advantage to be clueless at a formal occasion/job interview/meeting in-laws/clients. The more perspective you have the more able you are to make decisions about whats appropriate. Wouldn't you agree?

beauf · 02-03-2015 5:11pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

You're probably correct but it's hardly the point unless you can completely avoid formal situations for your entire life and never need to do anything you're not comfortable with.

It's hardly an advantage to be clueless at a formal occasion/job interview/meeting in-laws/clients. The more perspective you have the more able you are to make decisions about whats appropriate. Wouldn't you agree?

Why would all things uncomfortable be formal? That makes no sense.

People do indeed choose to live their life with as little as formality as possible.

Seems to assume (even discriminate) someone is clueless because they choose to something differently. Seems incredibly narrow minded.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 5:40pm

beauf wrote: »

Why would all things uncomfortable be formal? That makes no sense.

People do indeed choose to live their life with as little as formality as possible.

Seems to assume (even discriminate) someone is clueless because they choose to something differently. Seems incredibly narrow minded.

People can choose to live with as much or as little formality as they wish. It doesn't effect the point I made about it being an advantage to know whats appropriate in situations that you are going to have to take part in. I assume most people choose to have some degree of formality in their lives at some stage, due to career choices mainly. Maybe I'm wrong on that. If you have eradicated formality from your life then this whole discussion is purely academic to you.

Hey maybe it is discriminatory and narrow minded, but that's how humans do it in real life. I don't know what you want me to tell you. It has ever been thus so I choose to try to be informed on whats most appropriate behaviour in a given situation.

To address your grammar related snipe, well you see they were separate points, "... (1) avoid formal situations for your entire life and (2) never need to do anything you're not comfortable with."

Maybe I should have used or instead of and. If its so important to you, you can research it and get back to me.

I find a conversation has run it's course when one party decides to go down the pedantic grammar route rather than look for the actual meaning in whats being said. We should leave it there wouldn't you agree?

listermint · 02-03-2015 5:47pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

You're probably correct but it's hardly the point unless you can completely avoid formal situations for your entire life and never need to do anything you're not comfortable with.

It's hardly an advantage to be clueless at a formal occasion/job interview/meeting in-laws/clients. The more perspective you have the more able you are to make decisions about whats appropriate. Wouldn't you agree?

I work in an international setting travelled globally and have attended countless interviews / meetings / dinner settings / corporate events which all required some form of downing of food sustenance and my right handed fork holding has yet to hold back my career.

So tbh i dont really see it as an issue. Now get me that drink young man or there will be no tip in it for you.

listermint · 02-03-2015 5:49pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

People can choose to live with as much or as little formality as they wish. It doesn't effect the point I made about it being an advantage to know whats appropriate in situations that you are going to have to take part in. I assume most people choose to have some degree of formality in their lives at some stage, due to career choices mainly. Maybe I'm wrong on that. If you have eradicated formality from your life then this whole discussion is purely academic to you.

Hey maybe it is discriminatory and narrow minded, but that's how humans do it in real life. I don't know what you want me to tell you. It has ever been thus so I choose to try to be informed on whats most appropriate behaviour in a given situation.

To address your grammar related snipe, well you see they were separate points, "... (1) avoid formal situations for your entire life and (2) never need to do anything you're not comfortable with."

Maybe I should have used or instead of and. If its so important to you, you can research it and get back to me.

I find a conversation has run it's course when one party decides to go down the pedantic grammar route rather than look for the actual meaning in whats being said. We should leave it there wouldn't you agree?

This is your opinion, as stated my reality demonstrates you are wrong.

It is also the done thing to not translate your opinion into fact. People tend to take a dim view on that. In a formal setting of course.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 6:04pm

listermint wrote: »

I work in an international setting travelled globally and have attended countless interviews / meetings / dinner settings / corporate events which all required some form of downing of food sustenance and my right handed fork holding has yet to hold back my career.

So tbh i dont really see it as an issue. Now get me that drink young man or there will be no tip in it for you.

I don't understand what this refers to. Is it just condescension?

Did I say it's impossible to work in international setting and travel globally while without table manners? No, I really didn't.

Well done on the career by the way. Sounds interesting.

beauf · 02-03-2015 6:42pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

People can choose to live with as much or as little formality as they wish. It doesn't effect the point I made about it being an advantage to know whats appropriate in situations that you are going to have to take part in. I assume most people choose to have some degree of formality in their lives at some stage, due to career choices mainly. Maybe I'm wrong on that. If you have eradicated formality from your life then this whole discussion is purely academic to you.

Hey maybe it is discriminatory and narrow minded, but that's how humans do it in real life. I don't know what you want me to tell you. It has ever been thus so I choose to try to be informed on whats most appropriate behaviour in a given situation.

To address your grammar related snipe, well you see they were separate points, "... (1) avoid formal situations for your entire life and (2) never need to do anything you're not comfortable with."

Maybe I should have used or instead of and. If its so important to you, you can research it and get back to me.

I find a conversation has run it's course when one party decides to go down the pedantic grammar route rather than look for the actual meaning in whats being said. We should leave it there wouldn't you agree?

I wasn't talking about grammar I was thinking about how ludicrous it was to make a such value judgement based on appearance. Coincidentally, was just watching, Fred Dibnah turning up to open an office, in a boiler suit, him and the suit splattered with oil, the wife the same. Standing around having a tea and cakes afterwards. Of course he drove up in a steam engine.

I was also thinking of when you get a vendor dressed up to the nines in a meeting, looks the part, then talks utter garbage. How forced formality works in reverse in many situations. For example in creative industries, which would be the opposite of finance etc. Hence the stereotypical "suit" in popular media.

Which brings you back to the fork. Its a convention. You can choose to be conventional as you like.

TerrorFirmer · 02-03-2015 6:47pm

Am I reading this correct - there are people on this thread that consider using your right hand to hold a fork as incorrect and poor table manners?

Seriously?

beauf · 02-03-2015 6:51pm

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

Am I reading this correct - there are people on this thread that consider using your right hand to hold a fork as incorrect and poor table manners?

Seriously?

Ah but its only incorrect if they think it is. If they are ok with it, then it isn't.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 7:11pm

This has gone silly and boring.

Good luck

Father Ted Crilly · 02-03-2015 7:14pm

If you are left handed, then yes, it's quite acceptable.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 7:19pm

This has gone silly and boring.

Good luck

miezekatze · 02-03-2015 7:23pm

I'm right handed and I've always held the fork in my right hand. My dad eats like this too so I think that's where I picked it up. I don't really see an issue with it though and I'm not sure why anyone would find this rude. It's just more comfortable that way for a lot of people.

cerastes · 02-03-2015 7:24pm

How Uncouth OP,
That said I'm a righty but eat with fork in my right paw also, but only when Im not throwing food at the other monkeys in my troop or knocking out the next great gadsby on the typewriter.

Is it acceptable to use a fork with my right hand?

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