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Coming out...

  • 06-05-2015 5:19am
    #1
    BonnieSituation
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,085 ✭✭✭✭


    So, having spent the last year or so coming out as bisexual... I'm curious to know how all of you guys here handled your comings out, or those of you who aren't out, how you'd think you'd handle it?



    My coming out was kept within a very small group initially until I moved abroad and then I just took on the idea that as soon as I stepped off the plane I would be out as bi.

    When I came home I tried to keep it going as best I could. I'm still not out to my family and I'm not sure when that might happen to be honest. But I've spent a long time (17years) dealing with it so we will see.


Comments

  • #2
    wakka12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    I went about telling my mother first of all, well not telling but she found out due to reasons too embarassing to tell even strangers online:P After that I told a number of close female friends. There was never a big coming out or anything, I just told each of them on some drunken nights out when I had the courage to do so. I just made a laugh of it was like hey can I tell you a secret ;) and that was it and its all good now. I don't plan on telling anybody else, Im afraid of how males will react. And I don't ever want to be known as the gay guy, only my friends need to know because they actually are interested in who I'm dating etc. N
    Random people at college, its none of their business.
    Also will never tell grandparents or extended family, I see them very little and theres just no benefit to telling them.


  • #3
    Bobby42
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,314 ✭✭✭Bobby42


    I'm planning on coming out as bi soon myself.

    All the talk about the referendum is making it a little less daunting.

    I think I will start with my close friends and take it from there.

    I figure not coming out is holding me back from meeting guys and its not healthy for me to be keeping a part of my personality completely internalised.

    Still scary though.


  • #4
    SillyMangoX
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,003 ✭✭✭SillyMangoX


    I got drunk and started crying and came out to my mother. It was quite funny looking back on it, I was all worked up and she just went eh yeah I already know, what are you crying for?! I couldn't face telling my dad because I find it hard enough to talk to him about anything personal so she told him for me and he just said if he was happy I'm happy!
    Then I sent a group Facebook message to all my close friends and my brother, because a lot of them are away for college or have emigrated so that was the easiest way for me to do it.
    I just wanted to get it all out and over and done with rather than coming out to people in dribs and drabs so I put up a Facebook status and everyone was really supportive! So I had a very good coming out experience :) my uncle even bought me a "coming out" present and said he wished he had my bravery when he was my age, I nearly started crying again!!


  • #5
    fieldsmedal23
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭fieldsmedal23


    In addition Diana Fuss (1991) explains, "the problem of course with the inside/outside rhetoric...is that such polemics disguise the fact that most of us are both inside and outside at the same time." Further, "To be out, in common gay parlance, is precisely to be no longer out; to be out is to be finally outside of exteriority and all the exclusions and deprivations such outsiderhood imposes. Or, put another way, to be out is really to be in--inside the realm of the visible, the speakable, the culturally intelligible." In other words, coming out constructs the closet it supposedly destroys and the self it supposedly reveals, "the first appearance of the homosexual as a 'species' rather than a 'temporary aberration' also marks the moment of the homosexual's disappearance--into the closet."


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