Family Law - your opinions on a new way.

This post exists on the back of the existing thread about visitation rights for fathers. As a child of a messy, antagonistic divorce, now 24, I know exactly how every poster in that thread feels. I know the awful system of family law in Ireland pretty well.

This post isn't a shill for a product - we haven't got anything to sell yet, beta! - but a testing ground for your opinion. I chose this forum because it seems to be frequented by those who've already been through the full system of marriage, family life and life after family law.

Family Law has a lot of problems. You can be called a child molester, with no evidence or Garda investigation, if one side thinks it gives them a better chance of 'getting' the kids. Because it's illeagal to reveal any of the details of what happened in court (the In Camera rule, a la rape cases), a lot of men can't even fill out a tax return without getting in trouble - I personally know of one man who spent a weekend in Mountjoy for filing his taxes. It's designed to produce a 'winner' who gets the kids, and thus all the rights, and thus all the money. Family Law sucks.

But the worst thing about it is that it's the only option. If I want an mp3 player, I can choose which one is right for me and my needs and wants. Same with furniture, jobs, clothes, and - most importantly - who I want to start a family with. Yet we have only one contract for everyone, except those legally forbidden to marry.

So here's what we've done. We've create a marriage contract that:

(i) Exists completely outside of family law. There are a few legal setbacks with it, but you're less likely to end up going down the miserable family law road through this contract;

(ii) Is completely modular: no two people are alike, yet there's only one marriage contract for everyone. In this contract, you can add and subtract elements. Family gives one half everything, but here you can decide that (for example) over 3/5/8/10/whatever number of years your assets become shared at 50%. Or whatever system you want. You can also decide what happens in the event of a seperation, and decisions made out of love beat decisions made out of the hate of a recent split any day;

(iii) Lets any two consenting adults get married. It's silly letting the state decide who can and can't have what time of marriage arrangement. By making it a private affair, we bypass all the ugly values battles that make it too difficult for any one government (whatever party, where and when) to pick a side on.

So this is our idea. We think the market/zeitgeist is going that way in the long term. You can still get married in a church/whatever, still have that big public party and exchange your vows in front of all your closest friends and family. It's just a different marriage contract. One you build yourself.

Our website is here at WeDoMarriage.com

*Rob