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Break or to finish?

  • 03-03-2015 7:15pm
    #1
    adviceseeker02
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭


    Hi there,

    I'm not one to usually look for relationship advice but would like others opinions on this;
    So basically myself and my OH have been together for almost 4 years. We sort of rushed into the relationship at the begining but all worked out for the best for the start of the relationship anyway. We see eachother most days and used to love eachothers company and miss eachother for the short time we were apart but unfortunately it's not so great lately, we are constantly bickering at eachother, we have little communication without causing an argument over the smallest of things.

    I have tried sitting down and talking about it numerous times to my OH but seems to cause another argument for example if something is upseting me I would rather talk about it to resolve it but my OH turns on the defence, it's almost like my opinion seems to not matter to them..

    I'm realy quite upset about this as I love my OH very much but just feeling very under-appreciated and almost that I cant talk to them without feeling ridiculous. Should we take a break or has the relationship run its course?

    My OH always talks about how upset they would be if we ever finished our relationship so I dont think I would ever be brave enough to finish it as couldnt bare to see them upset..

    Please help ...


Comments

  • #2
    Tokyo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,655 ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    In my experience, when the choices in a relationship come down to going on a break in the hope that you'll regain what you had, or finishing completely, then wither way a breakup is inevitable. From the sounds of it, it seems that you don't necessarily believe that a break will be effective, but rather you are trying to soften the blow to a person who constantly tells you how upset he would be if you left him.

    For me, relationships are something that you either work on and give it your all, or you walk away from completely - there's no middle ground of going on a break and hoping that it fixes itself. Which you should do, only you can decided, but from your post, it's pretty obvious that you are not happy, and it's not just over something innocuous. there is no communication, you are constantly arguing over everything, and when you try to discuss it in order to resolve the issue, it gets pushed aside and ignored. At the end of the day you deserve to be happy, and should you decide to move on, your partner might be upset, but he will get over it. That in itself is not enough of a reason for staying around.


  • #3
    Littlekittylou
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,357 ✭✭✭Littlekittylou


    What is the underlying issue of the bickering? And I don't mean what you talk about but is it triggered by stress or personality?
    my opinion seems to not matter to them

    Deal breaker. If you are not happy 85% of the time ....leave.
    feeling very under-appreciated and almost that I cant talk to them without feeling ridiculous.

    Yet again deal breaker. There is a lack of respect for you.
    My OH always talks about how upset they would be if we ever finished our relationship so I dont think I would ever be brave enough to finish it as couldnt bare to see them upset..

    Wrong reason to stay with him.


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