In need of help

CaraMay · 30-08-2015 9:19am

Don't do anything rash like moving. You will get through this. Every morning you wake up, you are one day closer to being over him. Can you rake a few days off work and head home?

LegacyUser · 30-08-2015 8:34pm

Ok so it's Sunday night, and I made it through the weekend.
I was very panicky and tearful Saturday morning, and again this morning, but I got through it and that's the main thing.
There's a lot more to get through, he has to come and get the rest of his stuff and I guess we have to be in contact regarding notice on the house and winding down all the stuff we shared, but I'm a bit more confident I can get through it.

Thanks again everyone, this thread has been a lifeline for me the past week.

Tigger99 · 30-08-2015 9:23pm

I'm glad that you are taking it day by day. Thinking of you

30-08-2015 10:14pm

Hi OP, I can't really add much to the great advice you've got already, but I really feel for you as I was in your situation almost a year ago. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through, but in hindsight I'm glad it happened. You are going to feel like crap for a while, don't beat yourself up about it as you need to work through all the emotions. Gradually you'll get stronger and one day you'll realise you haven't thought about him at all that day. That will take a few months but you'll get there.

conor8989 · 31-08-2015 4:21pm

TotallyBereft wrote: »

I'm in a really, really bad place right now.

Three weeks ago, my partner of 8 years has decided he no longer wants us to be together, and has found a new place and is moving out tomorrow.

I understand his reasons, but it doesn't take away from the fact my heart is broken. I was okay at the start, because he was still living here ( in a separate room) but we still sat watching tv in the evenings and talking as normal, with me getting upset and crying now and again.

However this weekend, he's been packing his stuff and will be moving out tomorrow, so this is his last night in the house we've shared for 6 years.
I've been pretty much hysterical all day, but trying to hide it. However I gave up hiding it a while ago, and have been pretty much crying non stop. The pain is unbearable. My skin is crawling, I'm sweating and shaking and my chest feels like its going to explode. I can't bear the thoughts of being alone, of coming home tomorrow and the next day and the next without him being here, of going to sleep alone, of waking up alone. Of weekends alone.

I'm 38, and the likelihood of me finding someone else like him is really, really slim. He was here for me during the death of my mum, losing my job, all my work and family difficulties, he was the one person I could depend on. He was my partner, and the love of my life.

I don't really have many friends, they've all moved on and gotten married and had babies, my family are unapproachable and generally unsupportive of any emotional issues.

My life is now just this huge, empty painful thing that I don't know how to cope with. I'm feeling very very low. I keep having panic attacks where I'm genuinely scared for my wellbeing, and I'm just not able to function. I've to go to work tomorrow as normal, but I know my concentration will be shot and I'll make mistakes.

I just feel like my life is over, and I've nothing to look forward to and the light has just gone out of it. I don't even know what responses I'm asking for specifically, I just don't want to be alone.

wow thats so funny im a 38 year old guy and that has just happened to me honest to god i could have written your letter 6 years and my ex just finished it now im in a box bedroom with my stuff in two black bags how do you start again where do u go to meet someone new well the anser is i just dont know but theres got to be someone else out there there has to be im only 38 not 98 well thats my rant over thanks

LegacyUser · 05-09-2015 10:42pm

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to check back in. I made it through another week. I had a much better week than the week before, work was stressful as I spent a lot of time trying to fix mistakes I'd made the week before

I'm feeling much better, the panic attacks are only in the mornings now and the rest of the day I'm fine, I don't have the knot in my stomach any more. I spoke to him briefly online during the week and knowing that he doesn't regret his decision and is still happy to be apart, made me feel a bit better, I still love him so much and I want him to be happy, so it's best I move on and let him have that happiness. I miss him a lot and I'm very lonely, but I'll work on getting back out into society.

I still have some hard days ahead, I'm not looking forward to packing my things and moving out, and all the memories I have of here ... but I'll get through it.

Thanks again everyone, your advice got me through some of the darkest days of my life.

Merkin · 06-09-2015 10:19am

I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better OP. As the thread seems to have fulfilled its purpose I am going to close it now but if at any stage you need to have it reopened just drop a PM to any of the Mods. Best of luck.

In need of help

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