Question about a complimentary drink at the wedding

Broken Strings · 02-03-2015 2:04pm #1

Hi Guys,

Our venue is booked for next year and part of the package offers a glass of wine and two top ups at the meal.

We also want to get one round for all the guests and were wondering what the best way to go about this is and how it works.

A friend of mine suggested vouchers. We'd put a voucher at each place setting which would mean the guests could get a free drink at the bar.

I'm not sure if our venue would allow this, we haven't even asked them yet but I just wanted to get some input from others who may have done something similar before we go about putting it in place.

We aren't comfortable about putting money behind the bar as we feel there might be certain guests who would go overboard with it. To be honest we can't really afford it anyway, but I don't know what the etiquette these days is for providing guests with drinks at the wedding

Any help would be appreciated!

fits · 02-03-2015 2:06pm

Just ask the hotel to take orders for a toast drink. That way its controlled.

GAAman · 02-03-2015 2:08pm

Any time I have experienced it, servers came round the tables with notebooks and took orders. Keep it simple, make it easier on yourself!

seamus · 02-03-2015 2:09pm

Yeah, asking them to take a toast drink is probably the best way.

Though you will still get some people who'll order double vodkas, so the cost of the toast is still an unknown.

Another option is to hold back a set amount of wine and champagne/prosecco (if you have it) for the toasts. This way you know exactly what the toast drink will cost you. Anyone who doesn't want wine or champagne will just pay for their own drink. This is pretty standard in my experience and guests don't get annoyed by it.

sillysocks · 02-03-2015 2:50pm

I'd imagine getting waiters to take orders is the easiest way, and if you think people might take advantage they could be told people can only have single spirits, beer, wine etc.

pooch90 · 02-03-2015 3:05pm

Most venues won't give them the double anyway or anything top shelf.
we went with a toast drink of choice, allocate about €5 per drink.

Milly33 · 02-03-2015 3:10pm

I would be a bit sceptical over this too (with the bar trusting that they have given what they say) I heard from two that say the bar weren't great. One after the bride and grooms said make sure all the wine is used up they didn't they stopped serving it..

If you wanted to avoid this. You could say to the bar that you want to give a glass of bubbly to each guest for the toast or a glass of wine. Which you can have it prepaid. People don't mind even if lets say they would like a beer, they will just toast with the wine and give it to the person next to them, and go get a beer when they like..

Another chap just had a selection of locally crafted put on the table one for each person.. That was it..

We are thinking of having a glass of bubbly and leaving it at that, or a shot of tequila

January · 02-03-2015 3:33pm

We had ours as a toast drink. Hotel estimated 5 euro per person. No doubles, no shots, no premiums allowed.

littlenubbin85 · 02-03-2015 3:39pm

As somebody who once worked in hotels as a member of the banqueting staff, I would never have a round of drinks for the toast. It is a little known secret that hotels will mark up the price so that the round of drinks works out more profitable for them. You're better off giving your guests a glass of wine or prosecco.

Toots · 02-03-2015 4:38pm

January wrote: »

We had ours as a toast drink. Hotel estimated 5 euro per person. No doubles, no shots, no premiums allowed.

That's what we did as well, I can't remember what price per head was, but there was an option to do a sparkling wine toast as part of the package, but they just let us do an open toast instead.

Tarzana2 · 02-03-2015 5:02pm

January wrote: »

We had ours as a toast drink. Hotel estimated 5 euro per person. No doubles, no shots, no premiums allowed.

Out of curiosity, why weren't shots allowed, as they'd be one of the easiest things to fit into the €5 per drink budget? More a preventing early drunkeness measure? :pac:

January · 02-03-2015 5:17pm

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Out of curiosity, why weren't shots allowed, as they'd be one of the easiest things to fit into the €5 per drink budget? More a preventing early drunkeness measure? :pac:

The cheapest shot at our hotel was 6.50!

Tarzana2 · 02-03-2015 5:19pm

January wrote: »

The cheapest shot at our hotel was 6.50!

How is that possible? :eek:

The premium drinks, fair enough, but a shot of standard vodka/whisky/tequila/whatever sans mixer should be no more than a fiver.

Milly33 · 02-03-2015 6:14pm

6.50 is mad alright. But I suppose when people say shot are they thinking something like a slow comfortable screw haha or a baby Guinness rather than a shot of vodka or something like that

ABajaninCork · 02-03-2015 6:35pm

A toast drink I've found to be cheaper than glasses of prosecco/sparkling wine which people expect, but most won't drink!

We served a toast drink at our wedding, and it worked out fine. Budget was E6 a head.

westernlass · 02-03-2015 7:49pm

We are debating this at the moment as there's a wine top up in the package. We were advised 5euro a head but I'd say 6euro is more realistic. We are getting the servers to get the list and just restrict doubles and crazy drinks. Maybe offer a craft beer or a prosecco is a nice touch actually.

Tarzana2 · 02-03-2015 8:58pm

Milly33 wrote: »

6.50 is mad alright. But I suppose when people say shot are they thinking something like a slow comfortable screw haha or a baby Guinness rather than a shot of vodka or something like that

Aye, I suppose you're not going to neck a tequila as a toast.

Milly33 · 02-03-2015 11:15pm

well sure you would but it would be cheaper and a lot more effective..speeches' will be a breeze

cruais · 03-03-2015 8:52am

We were lucky in the sense that the toast was included in our wedding package so our guests could order what ever they wished.

I definitly think having the waiters take the orders is the easiest practice. I also specified with the hotel that it was strictly single measures and no doubles.

Milly33 · 03-03-2015 10:59am

The craft beers were nice now I must say, and the bar was serving them afterwards. It was a local brewed one, so they got more sales of that it was win win

stickybookmark · 03-03-2015 12:47pm

I'm thinking of no toast drink....as we are spending so much on the wedding as it is, I'm trying to cut out unnecessary costs. I think people barely notice/register a toast drink?

whiskeyman · 03-03-2015 12:51pm

stickybookmark wrote: »

I'm thinking of no toast drink....as we are spending so much on the wedding as it is, I'm trying to cut out unnecessary costs. I think people barely notice/register a toast drink?

a top up of wine is fine!

MarkAnthony · 03-03-2015 12:56pm

Wine on the table, take it or leave it IMHO, unless you're lighting your Cubans with €50 notes.

We even supplied our own wine and negotiated the corkage, got better wine and saved money. We had what I'd consider a very nice wedding having been to a few at this stage. (Church, Hotel etc. etc.).

Your money, your choice of course but the hotel will handle this sort of thing for you, I wouldn't be putting too much thought into it.

MarkAnthony · 03-03-2015 12:57pm

whiskeyman wrote: »

a top up of wine is fine!

Sorry but when someone called Whiskeyman is telling you wine is enough you know it's enough! :pac:

Sunny Dayz · 03-03-2015 1:21pm

At our wedding a few waiters with notebooks went around the guests taking orders for the toast drink. Only problem was we weren't doing the toast drink and I was one of the last people they came to (I was waiting out in the foyer for the priest to arrive for dinner). My dad seen me getting agitated and came over and said that he had actually organised the toast drink.

We (hubbie and I) felt there was no need for toast drinks at weddings - any weddings we've been to we have had plenty with wine at the table, getting a drink at the bar before going in for dinner and everyone heads straight to the bar again after dinner before music starts!

893bet · 03-03-2015 2:25pm

If you are supplying wine then I dont see the need for a toast drink aswell personally though it is a generous gesture.

Milly33 · 03-03-2015 5:49pm

Lots of sensible answers here

fits · 03-03-2015 5:51pm

We arent bothering with one either. Just providing plenty of wine. Probably too much!

BnB · 03-03-2015 6:10pm

I don't think there is any need at all and people don't expect it any more (or at least anyone that is coming to a wedding and is expecting it is a miserable sod...!!!!)

It was a thing that was done in the past more so before wine became fashionable. But now that wine is pretty much always served, it has gone out of fashion.

The other thing that I find with it when it is done, is that you often end up getting a fairly miserable drink out of it. The Bar staff have to get a drink for nearly everyone at the same time and pints are often left on trays on the counter for 10 or 15 minutes while they are sorting it out. Which means by the time you get it, it's looking fairly flat and miserable.

Broken Strings · 04-03-2015 10:19am

Thanks for all the advice guys.

I suppose my biggest worry is that a lot of our guests might be beer drinkers as opposed to wine and will have no interest in the glass and top ups and will want something else. We tailor made our wedding package and actually got a better deal to get 2 top ups rather than 1. We aren't supplying our own wine, but the venue does pride themselves on what they supply and have assured me that it isn't tat. For all I know it could be, as I'm a non-drinker

but based on people who have attended weddings in our venue before us, i'd be willing to believe they serve a decent wine because they have a really good reputation.

Do you think that instead of a glass and two top ups that they'd also be willing to provide an option of a craft beer as an alternative for those who don't want wine at the table?

I'm also concerned that people might head up to the bar and assume that drinks are on the bride and groom afterwards and ask to charge it to our account. I suppose the hotel will be able to refuse this though. Even if we make it perfectly clear, I figure there'll always be one who chances their arm.

I also wonder what the protocol is for non-drinkers. If they don't want wine or a craft beer at the table, will the hotel give them a soft drink instead (at no extra charge to us?)

It's been a few months since we've had our wedding consultation and put our deposit down, and it's only now I'm thinking up these *what might seem like silly* questions which are probably just common sense really

We went to a wedding recently which was a free bar for the night. I figure this is because it was abroad so all 80 of us had to travel very far to attend and that it was almost a thank you from the bride and groom for making the long journey? Then when we got home I was worried that we'd be pressured into providing a free bar for our wedding because I had some mixed reactions from other people.

Some friends of ours are putting 4,000 behind the bar on the night of theirs, and it's local too. It's not as if people have to travel far so I don't think they should feel obliged to put that much behind :eek: Money issues aside, I think it's a recipe for disaster if people abuse it and get hammered and cause trouble. So I was trying to figure out the best way to provide one drink. I still don't really know what the done thing is! Do people expect it?

Weddings can be so unnecessarily complicated sometimes

sillysocks · 04-03-2015 10:47am

It's no harm to ask the hotel about the craft beers, it might be messy organizing wise so they might not agree. But maybe gauge the reaction and even ask for a bottle of both wines and maybe 5 beers be put on each table-I doubt they'd allow people to pick on the night as they'd have no way to gauge how much wine vs beer they'd use. If there's a set quantity in advance it's be easier for them to price up.

I wouldn't worry about a free at abroad, or people putting money behind a bar. It's not something (most) people going to a wedding would expect. I've never been at a wedding where there's been money behind the bar. At our wedding we did have a free bar as that was abroad. It was in Spain and they don't even have tills in the function room because Spanish weddings always have a free bar-but, and it's a big but, there was wine with the dinner and then for a 4 hour free bar after i think it was around 15 eur per head so a whole different price range to what one would be here I imagine!

Question about a complimentary drink at the wedding

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