Leaving Cert taking over my brother.

Macavity. · 21-11-2014 11:13pm #1

Okay, my brother is doing the Leaving Cert. this year. He wants to do medicine so naturally enough he is studying a lot. At the start of the school year, he sold most of his stuff - PS3, games, movies, guitar etc.. as he says they are all distractions. He also broke up with his girlfriend for the same reason and gave up Hurling.

We thought it was a bit extreme but weren't overly concerned. Now, a few months in and he has completely alienated himself from the world. He doesn't go out with friends or anything and he spends all day in his room studying. His study plan has him studying from 6-8 in the morning and from 5-12 in the evening with a couple of short breaks for food.

I had a week off from college recently and I saw him three times over the entire week. He has put a lock on the door so people won't bother him. He also wants to drop out of school and just do everything at home apart from project work. I was talking to his friend a week ago and he told me he spends all of his time in the library when he's not in class (lunch time, PE).

My parents are worried that this could be very damaging for his health? What do we do?

IncognitoX · 22-11-2014 12:39am

I honestly think you'd get much better advice if this thread was moved to the Personal Issues forum.

dalta5billion · 22-11-2014 1:55am

Macavity. wrote: »

Okay, my brother is doing the Leaving Cert. this year. He wants to do medicine so naturally enough he is studying a lot. At the start of the school year, he sold most of his stuff - PS3, games, movies, guitar etc.. as he says they are all distractions. He also broke up with his girlfriend for the same reason and gave up Hurling.

We thought it was a bit extreme but weren't overly concerned. Now, a few months in and he has completely alienated himself from the world. He doesn't go out with friends or anything and he spends all day in his room studying. His study plan has him studying from 6-8 in the morning and from 5-12 in the evening with a couple of short breaks for food.

I had a week off from college recently and I saw him three times over the entire week. He has put a lock on the door so people won't bother him. He also wants to drop out of school and just do everything at home apart from project work. I was talking to his friend a week ago and he told me he spends all of his time in the library when he's not in class (lunch time, PE).

My parents are worried that this could be very damaging for his health? What do we do?

Tell him he's literally killing himself.

Sometimes you have to put your health and mind before the leaving cert. Down-time is essential for your wellbeing. It's about achieving balance, and if that means flunking a test here or there so be it.

Macavity. · 22-11-2014 2:48am

IncognitoX wrote: »

I honestly think you'd get much better advice if this thread was moved to the Personal Issues forum.

Maybe, whatever the mods think.

dalta5billion wrote: »

Tell him he's literally killing himself.

Sometimes you have to put your health and mind before the leaving cert. Down-time is essential for your wellbeing. It's about achieving balance, and if that means flunking a test here or there so be it.

We've told him all that but he won't listen.

DublinArnie · 22-11-2014 2:24pm

Macavity. wrote: »

Okay, my brother is doing the Leaving Cert. this year. He wants to do medicine so naturally enough he is studying a lot. At the start of the school year, he sold most of his stuff - PS3, games, movies, guitar etc.. as he says they are all distractions. He also broke up with his girlfriend for the same reason and gave up Hurling.

We thought it was a bit extreme but weren't overly concerned. Now, a few months in and he has completely alienated himself from the world. He doesn't go out with friends or anything and he spends all day in his room studying. His study plan has him studying from 6-8 in the morning and from 5-12 in the evening with a couple of short breaks for food.

I had a week off from college recently and I saw him three times over the entire week. He has put a lock on the door so people won't bother him. He also wants to drop out of school and just do everything at home apart from project work. I was talking to his friend a week ago and he told me he spends all of his time in the library when he's not in class (lunch time, PE).

My parents are worried that this could be very damaging for his health? What do we do?

People have different limits. Others would go insane without any real exercise or social contact in a few days ... others would last a long time.

Just because the average teenager hangs out with their mates on a Friday night or what not, doesn't mean everyone would prefer to do that. He has finally woken up, and realised he basically has one chance. He doesn't want to waste a year repeating, or taking a very long route into medicine.

Your brother wants the direct and shortest route, through the CAO. He'd rather sacrifice a lot of things just so he can thrive in his hobbies and happiness later on in life (medicine usually leads to high paid jobs.)

It makes sense to me, despite being a strong believer of 'exercise makes you think better.' One thing I'd add though, he should do some form of activity. Push him to do running at least, as it doesn't require as much dedication as joining a hurling team.

Imagine being in his shoes, and you'll understand.

EDIT: If he's so interested in medicine and biology, he should know what physical activity can do to the mind and muscle memory.

IncognitoX · 22-11-2014 2:36pm

DublinArnie wrote: »

People have different limits. Others would go insane without any real exercise or social contact in a few days ... others would last a long time.

Just because the average teenager hangs out with their mates on a Friday night or what not, doesn't mean everyone would prefer to do that. He has finally woken up, and realised he basically has one chance. He doesn't want to waste a year repeating, or taking a very long route into medicine.

Your brother wants the direct and shortest route, through the CAO. He'd rather sacrifice a lot of things just so he can thrive in his hobbies and happiness later on in life (medicine usually leads to high paid jobs.)

It makes sense to me, despite being a strong believer of 'exercise makes you think better.' One thing I'd add though, he should do some form of activity. Push him to do running at least, as it doesn't require as much dedication as joining a hurling team.

Imagine being in his shoes, and you'll understand.

EDIT: If he's so interested in medicine and biology, he should know what physical activity can do to the mind and muscle memory.

It's one thing dedicating yourself to pursuing your dream. Cutting yourself off from the world is a completely different thing. The first can be done without having to completely isolate yourself and cut yourself of from the world.

Rubberchikken · 22-11-2014 2:40pm

it seems a bit over the top imo.
have your parents sat with him and voiced their concerns?

if he feels he has to cut himself off from everything to achieve enough points in a LC, how is he going to manage the workload to study medicine in college?

it's good that you've noticed his behaviour and are concerned. the next step is that he needs to speak with someone.

good luck

Sclosages · 22-11-2014 2:40pm

Sounds a bit obsessive. Medicine does require serious hours though and serious dedication. If he needs that amount of study to make it, it might not be for him. 3 hours study per day should be sufficient. If you can't make it at that level, you're possibly reaching higher than you're capable for.

Flippyfloppy · 22-11-2014 2:44pm

If he was beginning 5th year Id be worried, but seeing as he's in 6th Id be inclined to let him at it. How is he doing in school? Has he always been studious?

Macavity. · 22-11-2014 3:27pm

DublinArnie wrote: »

Just because the average teenager hangs out with their mates on a Friday night or what not, doesn't mean everyone would prefer to do that.

I realise people are different. It's just a bit concerning as he is a very sociable person usually, and would have had an active social life all through school.

Imagine being in his shoes, and you'll understand.

I have been in his shoes and got into a highish enough points course (over 500) without doing close to what he is doing. I'm not convinced it is necessary to study that much, although he's probably aiming for 600+.

Flippyfloppy wrote: »

If he was beginning 5th year Id be worried, but seeing as he's in 6th Id be inclined to let him at it. How is he doing in school? Has he always been studious?

He gets mostly 90%+ in tests this year. He would have been a lot less studious prior to this year. Just cramming really for tests and stuff. He still did well enough though.

To be honest, I think he is a bit too young for the LC. He skipped TY and is only just gone 17. He said he's only doing medicine for the money and status. Not a good reason IMO.

0byme75341jo28 · 22-11-2014 3:30pm

Sounds like he needs to realise that the leaving cert simply isn't important. Personally, I would get your parent to take away his books and only allow him an hour a day, just at the weekends, to study. There are many ways he can make it into his favoured career without damaging his mental well-being, has he looked into doing a PLC at all, or possibly Youth Reach?

Saipanne · 22-11-2014 3:32pm

Being a doctor isn't the status symbol it once was. Nor is it the highest paid. Tell him look at what traders make, or people in the petrochemical industry make, if it's all about money to him.

IncognitoX · 22-11-2014 3:33pm

Graysen Rancid Broom wrote: »

Sounds like he needs to realise that the leaving cert simply isn't important. Personally, I would get your parent to take away his books and only allow him an hour a day, just at the weekends, to study. There are many ways he can make it into his favoured career without damaging his mental well-being, has he looked into doing a PLC at all, or possibly Youth Reach?

This is a silly post, no offense. Why should someone who wants to do Medicine do a PLC or Youth Reach?

And there is no need to restrict his study time that much. If he wants to get into Medicine, then a lot of study is required. However, the key is finding a solid balance between study and other activities, of which the OP's brother currently has none.

partyatmygaff · 22-11-2014 3:43pm

Graysen Rancid Broom wrote: »

Sounds like he needs to realise that the leaving cert simply isn't important. Personally, I would get your parent to take away his books and only allow him an hour a day, just at the weekends, to study. There are many ways he can make it into his favoured career without damaging his mental well-being, has he looked into doing a PLC at all, or possibly Youth Reach?

What is a PLC or Youth Reach going to do with him? He's aiming for medicine and seems like he may well get the points. There's nothing inherently damaging about focusing on something for a prolonged period of time.

What he needs to understand is that medicine and most health sciences courses will be very intensive. His first year exams will be far more difficult than anything in the LC and if he's already pushing it to this level for the LC, I shudder to think what he will do this time next year when his term exams are looming.

As for doing medicine for status and money, i'd be quite concerned. There is status and money but you work incredibly long and hard hours to get that money and working conditions are very poor in Ireland. It's not a career you'd survive in without a genuine interest in healthcare.

0byme75341jo28 · 22-11-2014 4:02pm

IncognitoX wrote: »

This is a silly post, no offense. Why should someone who wants to do Medicine do a PLC or Youth Reach?

And there is no need to restrict his study time that much. If he wants to get into Medicine, then a lot of study is required. However, the key is finding a solid balance between study and other activities, of which the OP's brother currently has none.

There are numerous PLC courses which can lead to a successful career in medicine. This, for example. I have a cousin who did a similar course and is now working for a private hospital, Mater in fact, earning a decent wage and loving life. This is far preferable to going through the standard "CAO route" in my opinion. It's a pity so few people realise they can enter a career in medicine through a PLC course, it would save them a monumental amount of stress, and greatly reduce the risk of them suffering from mental ill health.

happywithlife · 22-11-2014 4:11pm

Op it sounds as if he is very anxious over it. He does need to put in the hard graft but neither is it good to completely alienate himself. A balance needs to be struck.
I'd get your parents to mention it to his teachers at the parent teacher meeting and set up a specific meeting with his year head and guidance teacher if there is one available. I've come across the odd over anxious student in my time and there are strategies you can put in place to help lessen that anxiety,
If he continues at this rate there's a real chance of burn out long before he hits the exams in June

IncognitoX · 22-11-2014 4:14pm

Graysen Rancid Broom wrote: »

There are numerous PLC courses which can lead to a successful career in medicine. [Link removed] for example. I have a cousin who did a similar course and is now working for a private hospital, Mater in fact, earning a decent wage and loving life. This is far preferable to going through the standard "CAO route" in my opinion. It's a pity so few people realise they can enter a career in medicine through a PLC course, it would save them a monumental amount of stress, and greatly reduce the risk of them suffering from mental ill health.

I take it the OP's brother actually wants to be an MD though and not a medical secretary.

smcgiff · 22-11-2014 4:22pm

Graysen Rancid Broom wrote: »

This, for example.

:rolleyes:

I'd be inclined to support him and not stress him out anymore by constantly reminding him he's gone into over kill.

Offer to spend some time with him, but ultimately if he wants to put in the work let him.

rainbowtrout · 22-11-2014 4:36pm

Graysen Rancid Broom wrote: »

There are numerous PLC courses which can lead to a successful career in medicine. This, for example. I have a cousin who did a similar course and is now working for a private hospital, Mater in fact, earning a decent wage and loving life. This is far preferable to going through the standard "CAO route" in my opinion. It's a pity so few people realise they can enter a career in medicine through a PLC course, it would save them a monumental amount of stress, and greatly reduce the risk of them suffering from mental ill health.

You realise that course qualifies you to become a secretary not a doctor? Big difference. There are no PLCs that lead directly into Medicine. If there were students would already be doing them.

OP, I think it might be worth trying to get your parents to sit down with your brother and have a chat with him. He does need to put in the hours to get the points for medicine, but he also needs a break, he doesn't want to burn out half way through sixth year. Even if they persuaded him to take a one hour break a day for a walk/ watch tv/ any distraction it would be a start.

spurious · 22-11-2014 4:42pm

I think this is more a PI issue than a Leaving Cert. one. I'd be quite concerned about him cutting himself off.

0byme75341jo28 · 22-11-2014 8:59pm

IncognitoX wrote: »

I take it the OP's brother actually wants to be an MD though and not a medical secretary.

It's a career in medicine. He could easily take up a job as a secretary in a clinic, and over the years gain enough experience and new skills to earn a promotion as an MD. Has he looked into JobBridge at all, OP? I know it gets a bad rap around these parts, but it is a very good way of learning new skills and finding employment in your favoured career path, keeping an open mind is paramount if you want him to be happy. He should not be getting so stressed out over the leaving cert, I know for certain that I didn't.

rainbowtrout · 22-11-2014 9:06pm

Graysen Rancid Broom wrote: »

It's a career in medicine. He could easily take up a job as a secretary in a clinic, and over the years gain enough experience and new skills to earn a promotion as an MD. Has he looked into JobBridge at all, OP? I know it gets a bad rap around these parts, but it is a very good way of learning new skills and finding employment in your favoured career path, keeping an open mind is paramount if you want him to be happy. He should not be getting so stressed out over the leaving cert, I know for certain that I didn't.

Now you're taking the piss. You cannot get a promotion from a secretary to a doctor just because you happen to work in a hospital.

Sclosages · 22-11-2014 9:24pm

rainbowtrout wrote: »

Now you're taking the piss. You cannot get a promotion from a secretary to a doctor just because you happen to work in a hospital.

ah you'd pick it up no bother.

DublinArnie · 22-11-2014 9:26pm

If it takes minimum seven years of pure hard University education to become any sort of doctor - being promoted to one from office job by gaining experiences and skills will take a little over two hundred years.

SureYWouldntYa · 22-11-2014 9:27pm

Sclosages wrote: »

ah you'd pick it up no bother.

sure it's who ya know not what ya know

spurious · 23-11-2014 1:18am

Still, I take The Prince of Cumberland's point that too many people see Medicine as the only medicine-related possibility. There are thousands of equally rewarding roles in a hospital/medical setting, many as responsible and stressful as being a doctor, some paid only a fraction of what doctors make.

I taught a lad once who left school with a Junior Cert. and ended up being responsible for repairing and maintaining some of the equipment in the operating theatres. He used to joke that the surgeons with all their education and money couldn't work unless he had done his job properly. He was right.

Horses for courses.

Anyway, that's all sort of off-topic. I hope the OP's brother gets some help.

Macavity. · 23-11-2014 6:54pm

Thank you for the advice everyone. Unfortunately, things have only gotten worse over the last few days. This morning I got a phone call from my Mam saying that he had told our granny to fuck off!

He wouldn't come down for dinner because he was studying. She shouted up "hello" to him and he got very mad, came out of the room and shouted "shut the fuck up". Understandably, she was quite upset. My parents had a big chat with him but he didn't seem to care at all. He's completely changed over the last few months, he used to be such a friendly outgoing person and has never caused much trouble.

SureYWouldntYa · 23-11-2014 7:00pm

If he's at that he needs to cop on. Life does not equal leaving cert

rainbowtrout · 23-11-2014 7:02pm

Macavity. wrote: »

Thank you for the advice everyone. Unfortunately, things have only gotten worse over the last few days. This morning I got a phone call from my Mam saying that he had told our granny to fuck off! He wouldn't come down for dinner because he was studying. She shouted up "hello" to him and he got very mad, came out of the room and shouted "shut the fuck up". Understandably, she was quite upset. My parents had a big chat with him but he didn't seem to care at all. He's completely changed over the last few months, he used to be such a friendly outgoing person and has never caused much trouble.

Would it be worth your parents going into his school and having a chat with the principal to see how he is behaving there?

He may want medicine but that behaviour is completely out of order. I'd be taking the bedroom door off the hinges if he is going to behave like that.

spurious · 23-11-2014 7:03pm

Macavity. wrote: »

Thank you for the advice everyone. Unfortunately, things have only gotten worse over the last few days. This morning I got a phone call from my Mam saying that he had told our granny to fuck off! He wouldn't come down for dinner because he was studying. She shouted up "hello" to him and he got very mad, came out of the room and shouted "shut the fuck up". Understandably, she was quite upset. My parents had a big chat with him but he didn't seem to care at all. He's completely changed over the last few months, he used to be such a friendly outgoing person and has never caused much trouble.

It all the study working out for him? Is he getting the marks he wants? Sometimes no amount of study will get someone very high marks. This can be really frustrating for someone who buys the 'just work hard and it will happen' nonsense.

Is there any chance he is smoking or taking something? The aggression, if it's out of the blue is quite worrying.

Macavity. · 23-11-2014 7:14pm

rainbowtrout wrote: »

Would it be worth your parents going into his school and having a chat with the principal to see how he is behaving there?

He may want medicine but that behaviour is completely out of order. I'd be taking the bedroom door off the hinges if he is going to behave like that.

Yeah, my parents are very mad. The thing is he has no hobbies anymore and spends no time with friends. There isn't a lot they can do to punish him, and apart from that he's 17 (a grown man basically), he shouldn't be acting like that.

Thanks, I'll suggest a meeting with the principal to them.

spurious wrote: »

It all the study working out for him? Is he getting the marks he wants? Sometimes no amount of study will get someone very high marks. This can be really frustrating for someone who buys the 'just work hard and it will happen' nonsense.

Is there any chance he is smoking or taking something? The aggression, if it's out of the blue is quite worrying.

He's doing well from what I can see. I reckon he'll get it with hard work, but three hours a night would be enough IMO. I don't think he's taking anything, but I guess you never know. It is worrying though, the behavior is very out of character.

IncognitoX · 23-11-2014 7:15pm

It's already been mentioned but things only get harder once you get into Medicine, so it's very important that this is sorted now as it's not something that will go away if/when he gets into Medicine.

futuremedic19 · 23-11-2014 7:23pm

Macavity. wrote: »

Okay, my brother is doing the Leaving Cert. this year. He wants to do medicine so naturally enough he is studying a lot. At the start of the school year, he sold most of his stuff - PS3, games, movies, guitar etc.. as he says they are all distractions. He also broke up with his girlfriend for the same reason and gave up Hurling.

We thought it was a bit extreme but weren't overly concerned. Now, a few months in and he has completely alienated himself from the world. He doesn't go out with friends or anything and he spends all day in his room studying. His study plan has him studying from 6-8 in the morning and from 5-12 in the evening with a couple of short breaks for food.

I had a week off from college recently and I saw him three times over the entire week. He has put a lock on the door so people won't bother him. He also wants to drop out of school and just do everything at home apart from project work. I was talking to his friend a week ago and he told me he spends all of his time in the library when he's not in class (lunch time, PE).

My parents are worried that this could be very damaging for his health? What do we do?

Hi mate

I completely understand your situation. I was exactly!!! like your brother for the last 2 years, (except I did 5 A levels and I'm from the UK and on a gap year now reapplying for med in ROI and UK)

This was my study schedule:
I was either studying in college or I was at home studying literally all the time. I was doing atleast on average 7-8 hours a day revision at home.
You should really be proud and supportive of your brother that he knows what he wants to do and more importantly of how motivated he is. One thing that really helped me through those 2 years of torture were my family (and teachers) always supporting me

But!!! If your brother continues on like this he WILL!!! burn out during/just before the exams. Trust me my Dad told me the same thing but I ignored him and when exam period came I had my first ever breakdowns/couldn't sleep and I couldn't learn/remember everything I learnt due to stress I put myself under. Plus you will find that as he puts himself under so much stress he will start taking it out on other family members in the form of anger.

Just remember his health is what's most important so if I were u I would perhaps just speak to him from time to time and ask if everythings ok, make sure you get him to eat lots of fruits and veg and get him to go out with you sometimes and he will feel a lot lot better and he will revise better aswell.

Let me know if there's anymore advice u need and I hope it all works out well for you and your brother

0byme75341jo28 · 23-11-2014 7:58pm

Macavity. wrote: »

Thank you for the advice everyone. Unfortunately, things have only gotten worse over the last few days. This morning I got a phone call from my Mam saying that he had told our granny to fuck off! He wouldn't come down for dinner because he was studying. She shouted up "hello" to him and he got very mad, came out of the room and shouted "shut the fuck up". Understandably, she was quite upset. My parents had a big chat with him but he didn't seem to care at all. He's completely changed over the last few months, he used to be such a friendly outgoing person and has never caused much trouble.

That is truly appalling. I'd be extremely worried if my younger brother was exhibiting such behaviour. Is this completely out of character? It's amazing what stress can do to an unstable mind, I'd strongly suggest getting your parents to bring him to a doctor, before it's too late. It's only going to get worse from here on in, you never know what he could do next. It may only be a matter of time before he snaps under the pressure, and hurts himself or someone else. He already appears to be losing his lucidity, which is very worrying. Have you looked into the PLC area any further? My earlier suggestion was greeted with jibes and hostility, but his current situation is clearly having a majorly detrimental effect on his mental health. Here is another course I feel would be appropriate.

My thoughts are with you and yours.

Luke92 · 23-11-2014 8:00pm

Graysen Rancid Broom wrote: »

That is truly appalling. I'd be extremely worried if my younger brother was exhibiting such behaviour. Is this completely out of character? It's amazing what stress can do to an unstable mind, I'd strongly suggest getting your parents to bring him to a doctor, before it's too late. It's only going to get worse from here on in, you never know what he could do next. It may only be a matter of time before he snaps under the pressure, and hurts himself or someone else. He already appears to be losing his lucidity, which is very worrying. Have you looked into the PLC area any further? My earlier suggestion was greeted with jibes and hostility, but his current situation is clearly having a majorly detrimental effect on his mental health. Here is another course I feel would be appropriate.

My thoughts are with you and yours.

Let's hope its not a secretary promoted doctor. They give the worst advice!

happywithlife · 24-11-2014 10:21am

Macavity. wrote: »

Thank you for the advice everyone. Unfortunately, things have only gotten worse over the last few days. This morning I got a phone call from my Mam saying that he had told our granny to fuck off! He wouldn't come down for dinner because he was studying. She shouted up "hello" to him and he got very mad, came out of the room and shouted "shut the fuck up". Understandably, she was quite upset. My parents had a big chat with him but he didn't seem to care at all. He's completely changed over the last few months, he used to be such a friendly outgoing person and has never caused much trouble.

Now is the time for intervention so.
Personally I'd be down to school first thing and suss out how he is getting on there. Next stop would be the gp. I'm not a medic but to me it sounds as if he is suffering from anxiety.
The other thing I'd do, and this is where you step in, is as his brother try and draw him out a bit to suss out if he is taking anything? Given the mood swings I'd be very suspect tbh. It's highly likely he is on something to keep him awake longer to study more. I foolishly tried to burn the candle at both ends during college exams once. Went in to the exam and sat for 20mins and I literally blanked. Don't think I could have written my name. Thank god they weren't finals or anything and I copped myself on. But I know how the temptation is there at your fingertips to source something to "help you through".

Macavity. · 25-11-2014 8:51pm

Thanks for the helpful comments everyone. I was on the phone earlier to my Mum and she said that they have organised a meeting with the school for tomorrow so hopefully that will shed some light. Apparently he kicked my younger sister's rabbit in the face yesterday but he is denying everything, it is a "his word against hers" situation so we're not sure if he did it or not. I will be home at the weekend and will try and suss out if he's on something.

aunt aggie · 25-11-2014 9:49pm

I've been reading this thread for the last few days and I really feel for the position your family is in. While many students get themselves into a tizzy at exam time, the aggression you brothers showing is not normal and its good that you are making the school aware. Could he be taking some kind of medication to improve his focus when revising? OR has he shown signs of anxiety and wanting to have full control of situations before this? Could exam stress be heightening these feelings? I went to school with a student who freaked out if someone touched their books, and this person is studying to be a doctor.

You don't need to answer these questions here but it may help to think on them.

Ultimately he needs to come to terms with the fact that he might not get Medicine and he has to be able to deal with that. There are actually other courses that could get him into Medicine. I recently mentioned NUIGs Biomedical Science course in another thread but they might not be for him either. He needs to learn how to deal with stress and failure.

spurious · 05-12-2014 11:49am

Posts deleted that have dragged this off-topic.
OP. I hope your brother is feeling better now. It's really a mental health issue rather than a LC/educational one.

GarIT · 05-12-2014 11:50am

Graysen Rancid Broom wrote: »

She was trying to cause trouble by saying "hello" to her grandson?

From the scenario given it appears she had already been talking to him. She knew he wasn't coming down and then said hello. Saying hello in the middle of a conversation is looking to make a point in a nasty way. She was giving out that he didn't come down without saying it.

GarIT · 05-12-2014 11:51am

spurious wrote: »

Posts deleted that have dragged this off-topic.
OP. I hope your brother is feeling better now. It's really a mental health issue rather than a LC/educational one.

How is saying that he should be supported rather than fought against off topic?

QueenOfLeon · 05-12-2014 2:47pm

Any further off-topic posts will get a warning. As will arguing about mod decisions on thread.

This is a personal issue rather than a crisis over what course to do so the PLC advice is not really helpful and is dragging the thread into a mess.

If the OP wants more advice on an alternative course they can ask, but for now try keep it to advice that may actually help them at this point...

Macavity, some intervention from his principal or guidance counsellor at school might help to show him that studying 24/7 isn't the way to approach the LC. It sounds like he's going to burn himself out before too long...

LauraaWhelann · 07-12-2014 2:15pm

This happened to me. Not at such serious extremes as your brother but some people did say thats i was "addicted" to the Leaving Cert.

I, like your brother would not listen at the time. If i missed two minutes out of my scheduled study i was convinced that i was costing myself that A1. Its definitely an anxiety type thing. I would punish myself for not studying and i frequently broke down in tears. People who have not gone through this don't understand it. Yes you will understand the stress of the leaving cert, but not the life consuming anxiety that some people experience. Its hard to focus on anything outside of it when all you can think of is it. Your brother may be acting out because he feels as his family are merely distracting him, while really you are just trying to help.

I remember when i had gotten to my worst, my mother and sister had to pull me out of study for the day. They didn't say oh you're studying too much you need to stop, they suggested an alternative. They said why don't we go out for the day and do this or that. As i knew things had gotten bad i agreed and the break actually helped me focus a lot more in the coming days.

Your brothers hostility also probably comes from lack of sleep. He needs at least 8 hours. I remember how i treated my family at the time and its very consistent with how you're describing your brother.

Sure, the leaving cert isn't the be all and end all, but some students become fixated with it. Your brother needs to realise that he is not furthering his studies with all these hours. It truly is a matter of quality, not quantity.

Is he also preparing for the HPAT? maybe thats the reason behind all these hours he is doing?

I gave up all my hobbies too. I would have avoided anything that interfered with my study as much as possible, however i still did go out the odd time.

I did get the points i wanted. But i think maybe it could have been done without so much heartbreak. I can't advise you in what way to make your brother realise this, but he needs to.

I just wanted to let you know that your brother isn't the only one out there who this has happened to. And he will come through it.

Leaving Cert taking over my brother.

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