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Advice about men or what you think of my situation

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  • 20-02-2008 12:23pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok so this is a long story, but I'll try to keep it short...

    I like this guy I met while in Shanghai - he's a friend of a friend. We hooked up while he was here and were together for almost 2 full weeks - it was great - we get along great, had fun together, have mutual interests and love for the same food, endless conversations and a lot more. After he left he was saying I should go and visit him and my friend as my friend was going home in January. Myself and this guy chat a lot on msn, there's a lot of flirting on both sides and he keeps asking when I'm going to arrive there. I have my flight booked, but I haven't told him as I want to surprise him.... I love driving and he has a car and said he would collect me from the airport and let me drive his car... (so he wants to collect me from the airport, good sign?). Not only that but he has said I can drive his car any day providing I leave him to work and collect him - meaning I'd have to stay in his to leave him to work in the morning. He also shares my passion for thai food. He said we can go for thai food every night if I want :)

    Anyway the hard thing is I am starting to really and I mean really like him - I haven't seen him in 3 months and I still like him and think about him so much and want to talk to him all the time. I might be obsessing a bit.... I am so excited about seeing him... But I don't know what to do - he's from the other side of the world than me - I'm only there on holiday and after I leave, that could be it, maybe? I believe that everything happens for a reason, and whatever happens will happen. It's just hard cos I'm such an unsubtle person, I mean I won't jump him and tell him I want us to get married, but I am so afraid of putting my foot in it. I keep dreaming that he'll come home with me and feel the same way too... but life isn't like that is it?


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    #2
    the dee
    Registered Users Posts: 1,155 ✭✭✭the dee


    I think you need to spend a bit more time with this guy before you start thinking about a future together. By all means go and see him, stay in contact, maybe invite him to visit you here. But it's too soon in the relationship to read too much into anything.

    I know it's hard to strike a balance with a long-distance relationship however. There's not too much room to take things slow if you want to be together. Someone has to move and there's visa and money issues to worry about.

    My advice would be to cool your jets. Go see him and see how things go, but try not to get too excited about the relationship. There's always the chance that it won't work out. I met a few people on my travels that I really liked, but knew I would eventually have to say goodbye to. You need to go in with your eyes open. Having said that I'm moving to Australia in 2 weeks with my boyf so it can work out.

    Good luck and try to keep your wits about you!


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    #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    the dee wrote: »
    I think you need to spend a bit more time with this guy before you start thinking about a future together. By all means go and see him, stay in contact, maybe invite him to visit you here. But it's too soon in the relationship to read too much into anything.

    I know it's hard to strike a balance with a long-distance relationship however. There's not too much room to take things slow if you want to be together. Someone has to move and there's visa and money issues to worry about.

    My advice would be to cool your jets. Go see him and see how things go, but try not to get too excited about the relationship. There's always the chance that it won't work out. I met a few people on my travels that I really liked, but knew I would eventually have to say goodbye to. You need to go in with your eyes open. Having said that I'm moving to Australia in 2 weeks with my boyf so it can work out.

    Good luck and try to keep your wits about you!

    Cheers thedee! Great advice :) Yea I know I have to take it slow and as it comes and see how it goes... but the problem is that I am obsessing about it and worrying about it and how things will go or not go as the case may be.... I just wish it was 2 months from now so I could be there and suss everything out....

    You're moving to Australia, thats cool - is he an Aussie?


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    #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    That's so weird - cos I posted anonymously my reply didn't come up straight away and another user had written a reply, then when my reply came up, it erased or replaced that users reply??? weird !?


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    #5
    the dee
    Registered Users Posts: 1,155 ✭✭✭the dee


    He is yeah. We were together in Australia for 3 months before I had to come home. He decided to do the working-holiday visa here for a year and to see how things went. He'd always wanted to come to Ireland anyway.

    I know it's very exciting to meet someone you really like, but the distance thing can be very complicated. Sometimes you do have to go your separate ways but if you both really want to be together there are ways to make it work. It takes a level of commitment that is unusual at the start of relationships but it can be done. Don't let anyone put you off by saying you're moving too fast. Just make sure you're certain of what you want and are going in with your eyes open.

    Go over there and see how you both feel. Best of luck to you!


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    #6
    Marksie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    Unregistered users have to have their posts approved by moderators.

    and sometimes registered users take down their posts


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    #7
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Yes, try and chillax the kacks a little bit if you can. It was a holiday romance and now you are going to see him again. It could be utterly fantastic or completely awful so try not to pin all your hopes on it resulting in marriage either. I hope it works out for you but try not to jump the gun either. Two weeks in someone's company (and them being on their best behaviour) doesn't necessarily mean you "know" him.


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