Binge Eating Disorder

LegacyUser · 19-02-2008 3:15pm #1

I'm in my mid twenties and I'm new to Ireland. I have no friends other than my husband and I don't feel like making any because of how fat I am. I also can't stop eating. This is a problem I've had my whole life but in periods of stress/lonesomeness etc it explodes. Suffice it to say I'm also quite depressed.

Please note that I realise how pathetic the above lines are. I never used to be this person (apart from the binge eating thing - that's constant, it just goes up and down) - I had lots of friends and was quite popular amongst them. I am not good at meeting people though - and right now my self loathing is such that I am not much fun to be around anyway.

The one thing that helped my binge eating was an appetite suppressant that I took when I was 15. Oh, that was glorious. I forgot about eating (except at regular mealtimes - ie I wasn't constantly thinking about eating but I didn't stop altogether either) for months, and actually lost a bit of weight. It is the one time I have been successful in weight loss, and managed to keep the weight off, because I was so happy. I kept the weight I lost (15 kilos) off for several years. I had to stop taking the medication because I became immune to it, but I was so happy about my size and everything that I had very little stress and did not binge.

Then a few years back, my life became stressful again and I started to eat, and the weight packed on. I got back up to the weight I was at 15, which disappointed me. I went to the doctor (one in a different place than where I was at 15, though still not in Ireland) who refused to prescribe me an appetite suppressant because she didn't believe in them. So I went to another doctor, and another. All of them told me the secret of weightloss was diet and exercise, and that weight loss medications were not the answer. Trust me, I know all about diet and exercise. It isn't a question of knowing how to lose weight - it's a question of being ABLE to use that knowledge. I told the doctors that I had a problem with compulsive eating, and that I had used a medication in the past to overcome it and I wanted to try again. I was simply told again, diet and exercise.

Since then my weight has only continued to climb. If I try very hard, I can get it to stay stable, but lately I've been under a lot of stress, what with moving to a new place, having no social outlet (and feeling too fat to have one) and having no job (and feeling too fat to deserve one). To make matters worse, my GP had a job opening a while back and I applied for it - only to be turned down and now I can't face her to ask for a referal to a psychiatrist or what because I'd feel like a total failure & loser.

I tried therapy once, I don't know if it was my fault or the therapist's but it all seemed a little stupid to me. Like, write down what you think right before you're about to eat something. Um, I was thinking "wow I really want that jar of nutella, I know I shouldn't but hmmm nutella". There doesn't seem to be a deep meaning behind my eating, no past trauma etc. I just feel like eating all the time and I never feel full. I do feel ashamed about it - which stupidly makes me want to eat more.

So I don't really know what to do. I know I have to do something as I'm at a higher weight now than I've ever been (170 cm, just over 100 kilos, wearing a tight size 20, which is another issue, I'll have nowhere left to shop if I get any bigger! already most shops including penney's only go up to 18) and I have to do something soon. But I'm too ashamed to do anything, and my last experience with doctors (somewhere else, with possibly different attitudes) was soul destroyingly condescending. I don't think I can handle going to a doctor with something that is so close to breaking me only to be turned down from the one thing I know can help me - as it's helped me in the past.

I've considered asking for Welbutrin instead. It's an anti-depressant, but it's being tested for weightloss also. I'm pretty sure I'm depressed anyway, so it couldn't hurt, but I think my weight is the root cause of my depression and I don't want to get hooked on an anti-depressant I may not need if I get down to a healthier, more attractive weight.

I just feel very lonely and altogether awful. I know it's an eating disorder, but I haven't been taken very seriously by doctors in the past and I don't want to be hurt again.

Meathlass · 19-02-2008 3:35pm

Can you get in touch with Bodywhys (sp, might be Bodywise either). Maybe they can give you some contact details for people in your area who can help. It sounds like you really hate yourself - your sig for example and need to see someone. Good luck.

Nevyn · 19-02-2008 3:37pm

http://www.bodywhys.ie/

Meathlass · 19-02-2008 3:39pm

Thanks

Miss Fluff · 19-02-2008 3:41pm

Isn't there an organisation called Overeaters Anonymous? Do you binge or binge and purge? It is probably worth giving them a call. Have you tried a route like Weight Watchers?

xzanti · 19-02-2008 4:04pm

www.marinotherapycentre.com Friend of mine went here and found them to be very good...

LegacyUser · 19-02-2008 4:32pm

FYI: Overeaters Anonymous, much like AA, is largely based in a faith in God. That doesn't apply to everyone.

Nevyn · 19-02-2008 4:46pm

Believe in a higher power can be nearly anything it is not in a certain god.

brokensoul · 19-02-2008 4:58pm

unreged145 wrote: »

FYI: Overeaters Anonymous, much like AA, is largely based in a faith in God. That doesn't apply to everyone.

Just for the record, AA isnt based on a belief in God -it is based on a belief in a higher power. That higher power can be God, or another person, or a cup. It is not a religious programme.

Afaik, OA is based on the same principles.

funloving · 19-02-2008 5:19pm

Last year I put on some weight during my depression and I know for sure that compulsory eating is something that derives from a psycologic issue.
In psycology they say that you can eat that way mainly for 2 reasons:
1) because you're depressed and you don't care about yourself anymore and you let yourself go or 2) because you're trying to compensate with food something you feel it's missing in your life.
When I moved to Ireland ( I am Italian) and I had no friends at the beginning I spent a lot of time eating but I realised I was doing it even when I was not hungry,I did it in order to keep myself occupied and because food gave me pleasure.
Go to a doctor and tell him/her about this problem you have.
Being on a diet or exercicing won't solve the problem.
Try and understand WHY you want to eat so much and work on it.

JuliusCaesar · 19-02-2008 6:09pm

fat&disgusting wrote: »

lately I've been under a lot of stress, what with moving to a new place, having no social outlet (and feeling too fat to have one) and having no job (and feeling too fat to deserve one).

To make matters worse, my GP ....... I can't face her to ask for a referal to a psychiatrist or what because I'd feel like a total failure & loser.

I tried therapy once, I don't know if it was my fault or the therapist's but it all seemed a little stupid to me. Like, write down what you think right before you're about to eat something. Um, I was thinking "wow I really want that jar of nutella, I know I shouldn't but hmmm nutella".

..... I just feel like eating all the time and I never feel full. I do feel ashamed about it - which stupidly makes me want to eat more.

I just feel very lonely and altogether awful.

funloving wrote: »

I spent a lot of time eating but I realised I was doing it even when I was not hungry,I did it in order to keep myself occupied and because food gave me pleasure.

Not just your thoughts but your feelings too: funloving is right there. "I want that Nutella because...I feel empty/unhappy/bored etc"

Go to a different GP - in Ireland you don't have to stick with one, you can go to any.

And do something anything in terms of exercise, even if it's just down to the shops everyday - you can gradually increase it.

And, even if you feel like s**t, get to know people. Join soemthing, even a Overeaters support group will put you in touch with people. Do soemthing you enjoy (apart from eating) every day. Don't go along with waitning till you feel like doing something.......not doing anything will just make you more depressed.

Binge Eating Disorder

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