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Good ideas for television programmes

  • 05-07-2012 11:40am
    #1
    Immaculate Pasta
    Registered Users Posts: 1,663 ✭✭✭


    Morning all,

    So I’ve read an article that Sky have commissioned a chat show with England international Peter Crouch titled “On the couch with Peter Crouch”. I’ve thought that this show as well as the disastrous Gordon Ramsey programme about cooking in prison, which was actually suggested by Alan Partridge fifteen years previous, is that television is officially dead.

    I’ve therefore concluded that any show can be commissioned if given a catchy title. Your job After Hours posters is to come up with a television programme which rhymes like “On the couch with Peter Crouch”.

    The only rules are that it must sound like a TV show and rhyme. The wittier and funnier the better. Also kudos if you can somehow vaguely relate it back to what they do. Both celebrities and After Hours posters may be used in the TV title. Thanks to Mr. Crinklewood for the idea of AH posters

    I’ll start

    Why’s everyone so huffy? With Joe Duffy


Comments

  • #2
    For Forks Sake
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,654 ✭✭✭✭For Forks Sake


    Monkey Tennis....with Les Dennis


  • #3
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    A day at the carvery with Mary Harney...


  • #4
    Merkin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    You're Such a Scabby Minger with Jerry Springer

    Who Ate All the Cake? with Ricki Lake


  • #5
    summerskin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭summerskin


    The Beat Down, with Chris Brown


  • #6
    danniemcq
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,163 ✭✭✭✭danniemcq


    What about a Simpson spin off!

    Much ado with apu?


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  • #7
    Immaculate Pasta
    Registered Users Posts: 1,663 ✭✭✭Immaculate Pasta


    Getting cozy with Nicolas Sarkozy

    A light hearted flirtatious chat show where Sarkozy invites female guests on a couch which is too small for two people where they share a couple of glasses of red wine and Sarkozy puts on the charm :cool:


  • #8
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    Pop Your Cherry with John Terry.

    The Glory Hole with Cheryl Cole.

    Start a Band with Rio Ferdinand.


  • #9
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    A Prime Time investigation into the sordid lives of the After hour's clan with Miriam O'Callaghan.

    Viewer discretion is advised.


  • #10
    summerskin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭summerskin


    The Babysitter, With Gary Glitter


  • #11
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Brookers Hookers.
    Charlie Brooker travels across Europe and sleeps with lots of prostitutes along the way.


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  • #12
    summerskin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭summerskin


    One in The Stink, with P!nk


  • #13
    Kolido
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,421 ✭✭✭✭Kolido


    In the Scratcher with Maggie Thatcher :eek:


  • #14
    Dub Ste
    Registered Users Posts: 480 ✭✭Dub Ste


    Mrs Browns Buoys.

    A sitcom following the ups and downs of a family of northside flotation devices !!


  • #15
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Knightley News.
    Current affairs programme presented by Keira Knightley.


  • #16
    deman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,672 ✭✭✭deman


    Visit Muff with Mary Duff.


  • #17
    Lando Griffin
    Registered Users Posts: 2,952 ✭✭✭Lando Griffin


    Wallop Crash Bang with Conor Faughnan
    The thousands of ways you can crash your car in all weather types from blizzards on the M1 to dry greasy conditions on the M8.


  • #18
    summerskin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭summerskin


    I think some people don't quite get the OP, judgeing from the lack of rhyme on here!


  • #19
    Feelgood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,191 ✭✭✭Feelgood


    I'd love to see an episode of come dine with me that had Gordon Ramsay, Jamie Oliver, Nigella Lawson and Marco Pierre White as contestants.


  • #20
    Immaculate Pasta
    Registered Users Posts: 1,663 ✭✭✭Immaculate Pasta


    summerskin wrote: »
    I think some people don't quite get the OP, judgeing from the lack of rhyme on here!

    This.

    Maybe I should have titled the thread better but I think this thread proves how often people never read the OP :D


  • #21
    Mr.Crinklewood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,505 ✭✭✭✭Mr.Crinklewood


    Can we change the rules so the person hosting the show must be a After Hours Poster?

    "Cum Fasta with Immaculate Pasta"
    Experienced AH posters tells of their nights of passion in Cassidys Camden Street.

    "Time to Bake with For Forks Sake"
    A food based problem where all the food is ate using forks.

    "Shop wearing a hood with Feelgood"
    Feelgood relives his childhood.


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  • #22
    Immaculate Pasta
    Registered Users Posts: 1,663 ✭✭✭Immaculate Pasta


    Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »
    Can we change the rules so the person hosting the show must be a After Hours Poster?

    "Cum Fasta with Immaculate Pasta"
    Experienced AH posters tells of their nights of passion in Cassidys Camden Street.

    "Time to Bake with For Forks Sake"
    A food based problem where all the food is ate using forks.

    "Shop wearing a hood with Feelgood"
    Feelgood relives his childhood.

    I like it. I'll edit the opening post now. :cool:

    Touring Uganda with Gummy Panda


  • #23
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    KeithM89 is all mine (but only if he's a ginger :D)


    The wimminz be paging for Hardonraging

    Walking the poodles with whoopsasdaisydoodles


  • #24
    Claasman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 630 ✭✭✭Claasman


    The history of women's knickers with facekicker


  • #25
    al28283
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,062 ✭✭✭al28283


    Friends


  • #26
    Claasman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 630 ✭✭✭Claasman


    Fabulous hair with Tony Blair


  • #27
    phasers
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    get gabby with abi

    A light hearted chat show where abi, hairyprincess and a host of other female AHers discuss current events. Like Loose Women but not ****e


  • #28
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Does it have to rhyme? Because "Come swim with me" starring Michael Barrymore would be worth a watch!


  • #29
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    Hair Style Success by Hairy Princess


  • #30
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    Cocaine Snortin' with Graham Norton.


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  • #31
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    smash wrote: »
    Does it have to rhyme? Because "Come swim with me" starring Michael Barrymore would be worth a watch!

    Breathe no more with Michael Barrymore might be an option.


  • #32
    mikom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    The Late, late show.

    A feel-good show hosted by Ryan Tubridy where young ladies whose boyfriends have just died undergo pregnancy tests to see if they are carrying the child of the deceased.


  • #33
    phasers
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    barrymore's drownin' whores?


  • #34
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    mikom wrote: »
    The Late, late show.
    A feel-good show hosted by Ryan Tubridy where young ladies whose boyfriends have just died undergo pregnancy tests to see if they are carrying the child of the deceased.

    That actually sounds like an improvement.. considering they had that bint Giggs (Natasha?) on to discuss her love life.


  • #35
    Welsh Megaman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 73,222 ✭✭✭✭Welsh Megaman


    Have A Drink With Twink*














    *As witnessed a few weeks ago.


  • #36
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    Today's Jerry Springer Show is about Trolls banned from boards.ie

    Our guests representing Boards.ie will be Keithm89, Dr Bollocko, Leeg, and Super-Rush

    Our guests that were banned for trolling will be TheZohan, Facekicker, Trollsbury Trollington, & Dara Abu
    The show starts off by TheZohan calling up Keithm89 to tell him he has a secret to tell him, The secret is that TheZohan is having an affair with Facekicker (que first fight scene)

    after a few rounds of punches and insults Dara Abu and Dr Bollocko come on stage and Dara abu tells Dr Bollocko that he has a love child with a person he met in a petrol station called Trollsbury Trollington, Leeg is that love child (que next fight scene)

    Trollsbury Trollington then tells Dr Bollocko that he had an affair with Super-Rush and wants to get married. (que proposal that gets interupted by Dr Bollocko followed by a fight scene)

    then Jerry springer goes up into the audience where xxxJennyxxx flashes her boobs for beads

    then Jerry ends with his usual speech about morals

    Go Jerry Go Jerry Go Jerry



    disclaimer actual event may not have transpired and is merely for entertainment value.


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  • #37
    castletownman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,496 ✭✭✭✭castletownman


    The Week That Pighead Led

    A weekly documentary on the life of Pighead, where he regales his audience with hilarious, first person tales of his weekly antics. Featuring sound advice from Seamus


  • #38
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Scutt with Flutt

    A weekly show hosted by FlutteringBantam who advises changes in diet to get the most from your bowel movements.

    Sponsored by Armitage Shanks


  • #39
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    kfallon wrote: »
    Scutt with Flutt

    A weekly show hosted by FlutteringBantam who advises changes in diet to get the most from your bowel movements.

    Sponsored by Armitage Shanks

    It would be mildly amusing for the first week, then grow more and more irksome as the repetitive nature of the jokes continued relentlessly.


  • #40
    MisterEpicurus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 588 ✭✭✭MisterEpicurus


    'Learn Skiing' with Dara O'Briain

    'How to Save a Penny' with Enda Kenny

    'How to Get Famous' with Boards.ie's Seamus

    'How to Get Fitter' with Adolf Hitler


  • #41
    mikom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    mikom wrote: »
    The Late, late show.

    A feel-good show hosted by Ryan Tubridy where young ladies whose boyfriends have just died undergo pregnancy tests to see if they are carrying the child of the deceased.
    prinz wrote: »
    That actually sounds like an improvement.. considering they had that bint Giggs (Natasha?) on to discuss her love life.

    Update:
    Show to be sponsored by "Clear Blue", with the live audience highlight to be Tubridy flinging loads of the tests into the crowd whilst roarin' "And there's one for everyone in the audience".


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  • #42
    deman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,672 ✭✭✭deman


    Blowing a fuse with Tom Cruise (DIY Show)

    Broken Homes with Katie Holmes (also DIY)


  • #43
    mickgotsick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 350 ✭✭mickgotsick


    deman wrote: »
    Blowing a fuse with Tom Cruise (DIY Show)

    And his trusty step ladder for those hard to reach jobs like painting skirting boards


  • #44
    stmol32
    Registered Users Posts: 718 ✭✭✭stmol32


    Inner cerkel with Angela Merkel.

    Angela Merkel explores the roles circles have played through the ages.
    History Channel documentary


  • #45
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    Ireland worth less than a penny with Enda Kenny


  • #46
    Welsh Megaman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 73,222 ✭✭✭✭Welsh Megaman


    stmol32 wrote: »
    Inner cerkel with Angela Merkel.

    Angela Merkel explores the roles circles have played through the ages.
    History Channel documentary

    or a fly-on-the-wall documentary following Angela as she becomes a member of the early 90's reggae band Inner Circle...they're gonna make her sweat (a la la la la long)!


  • #47
    SEPT 23 1989
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    Counting with Cowen

    Childrens programme teaching toddlers basic maths


  • #48
    MisterEpicurus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 588 ✭✭✭MisterEpicurus


    SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »
    Counting with Cowen

    Childrens programme teaching toddlers basic maths

    I think maybe 'Countdown with Brian Cowen' would suit him more ;-)


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