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How do you feel about virgins.

  • 12-03-2010 6:11am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭


    I can't for the life of me ever imagine having an issue with a partner being with other person before me. However, it seems, keeping sexual history a closely guarded secret is the norm for young (20 something) girls these days. One suggestion is that Irish men cannot handle the idea of their girlfriend being with another man preferring instead to think of them as little virginal doles. Personally, if I encountered a 25 year old virgin, alarm bells would be ringing immediately. Your views?


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Why would it raise alarm bells?
    Because you would think she was lying or something else?

    Ive never encountered this and I really cannot imagine a girl lying about being a virgin,I mean,why would she?

    We are a pretty open society in terms of sex and sexuality so why would she feel it neccessary to lie?

    I reckon it would be more plausible that she could lie about not being a virgin ie she may feel inexperienced,inadequte etc etc.

    Im not too sure what exactly you are asking though.
    :confused:


  • Moderators Posts: 51,847 ✭✭✭✭Delirium


    I'm be a bit hypocritical if I had a problem with a virgin seeing as I'm one myself.

    Part of the thing that people seem to forget is that other people can cause you to be a virgin to a later age than usual.

    From my own point of view I'm a virgin still because I seem to have a knack for falling for women that have no interest in me. Obviously I don't know that at the time, it just seems to reach the point where they aren't interested.

    They may also be making the choice for whatever reason not to sleep with anything that has a pulse, which would be just as worrying IMO.

    If you can read this, you're too close!



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Wouldnt bother me at all, it'd bother me more if she had slept with 50 different people as opposed to none


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,385 ✭✭✭Jemmy


    Boston wrote: »
    Personally, if I encountered a 25 year old virgin, alarm bells would be ringing immediately.your views?

    My view is thats ridiculous!
    Why would alarm bells ring with you if someone was 25+ and a virgin?

    Because they made a choice not to shag the first person that came along, and waited til they were in a committed loving relationship? I don't see the problem with that at all. I've had 2 BFs that were virgins when I met them, it didnt change my opinion of them when it came around to being intimate later in the relationship.

    Hopefully that 25+ virgin wouldn't give it up to you either with that attitude! :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,638 ✭✭✭Iago


    Jemmy wrote: »

    Hopefully that 25+ virgin wouldn't give it up to you either with that attitude! :rolleyes:

    sigh...

    ...people get far too emotional and worked up over things that don't matter.

    Anyway, I'd agree that I would be surprised if I met a 25+yo who was a virgin given the massive explosion of sexualisation that has occured in this country over the last 15 years or so, but that aside I think there are two very opposing reasons for why sexual history is a closely guarded secret for younger women.

    From a womans point of view, they don't want to be seen as easy or frigid. If they have had a number of partners they might think that letting a prospective partner know that would lead to assumptions on his part as to how much he has to do/show before he manages to get her into bed. If they have had a small number, or no partners, they might be worried that a prospective partners interest would wane very quickly if he felt that he wasn't going to get her into bed anytime soon, or if he thought she might not be experience in bed.

    From a guys point of view, it's a sad fact that a large number (majority?) of men are very insecure when it comes to relationships and sex and the thoughts of a woman who has more experience than them is frightening and off-putting. What if her previous partners where better in bed? What did she get up to with them? etc etc

    So in summary, women are worried about what a man might think of them regardless of their history. Men are worried that they won't measure up to a womans expectations.


    Frankly I've always taken each person on their own merits. Whether she was a virgin or had multiple partners never bothered me, as far as I was concerned we were together and what we had would make or break the relationship not anything that did or didn't happen in the past.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Why would alarm bells be ringing?
    I myself am a 22 year old girl and also a virgin. I don't mean to sound vain in any way but I receive alot of attention from men and I think this plays a huge part in the reason for me remaining a virgin until now.. alot of men, 90% I would imagine, just want sex.
    It's not something Im particularly proud of, in fact I find it a bit embarassing and really don't think I would admit it to my virginity to any future partners. I don't have any issues, apart from being fussy and not wanting to sleep with 'just anyone', so why would a man have a problem with a virgin?? I suppose I could ask myself then why I would be embarrassed about being one!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,385 ✭✭✭Jemmy


    Iago wrote: »
    sigh...

    ...people get far too emotional and worked up over things that don't matter.

    sigh...

    yes I'm very emotional and worked up here
    Iago wrote: »
    Anyway, I'd agree that I would be surprised if I met a 25+yo who was a virgin given the massive explosion of sexualisation that has occured in this country over the last 15 years or so

    I agree I would be a little surprised too considering people attitude towards sex these days, but to say alarm bells would start ringing?! It gives the impression there may be a problem or something wrong with them for being a virgin.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    Boston wrote: »
    Personally, if I encountered a 25 year old virgin, alarm bells would be ringing immediately. Your views?
    Have to ask as others have - why would it ring alarm bells?
    Iago wrote: »
    Frankly I've always taken each person on their own merits. Whether she was a virgin or had multiple partners never bothered me, as far as I was concerned we were together and what we had would make or break the relationship not anything that did or didn't happen in the past.

    I agree, and I would try to be the same. I'll admit I too would worry somewhat about a guys previous partners in the sense of would I measure up to them (whether he'd had 2 or 20). Personally I didn't sleep with anyone until I was 23, and that was my choice, when I felt I was with someone I wanted to share it with and when I felt comfortable. I had a close friend who started sleeping with guys when she was only 13. So I don't think alarm bells would be going off if I encountered a 25year old virgin (male or female), each to their own.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    It's funny, the "acceptable" number for women to have had as previous partners has shifted a little but not a lot. It's gone form none to 2/3 but only if the loved them and were in a relationship.

    There is still the double standard of the 'good girl' which someone settles down with and the 'bad girl' they will have sex with.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,485 ✭✭✭✭Khannie


    star-pants wrote: »
    Have to ask as others have - why would it ring alarm bells?

    Because it's unusual I'd say. That's not to say that there's anything wrong with it necessarily, just that it would be a sign that there might be something up.

    I went out with a 23 year old virgin before and it was an absolute *disaster*. I wont go any further than that.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    Boston wrote: »
    I can't for the life of me ever imagine having an issue with a partner being with other person before me. However, it seems, keeping sexual history a closely guarded secret is the norm for young (20 something) girls these days. One suggestion is that Irish men cannot handle the idea of their girlfriend being with another man preferring instead to think of them as little virginal doles. Personally, if I encountered a 25 year old virgin, alarm bells would be ringing immediately. Your views?

    The only reason I think alarm bells could ring is that the guy could get the impression she was "saving herself" for someone special and that he's getting himself into something more serious than he wants if she does decide to sleep with him. Not that I'm rationalising that.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    The previous partners thing is tricky tbh, on one hand its not your business how many people your current bf/gf has slept with before you, but on the other it can tell you a lot about a persons character, in my own experience, when I was 21 I was seeing a girl who was 19 at she had slept with 22 people before me, I'll admit I was a bit shocked to hear that, I got over it though but then she wound up cheating on me (kissing someone else, not sex,at least as far as i know) so if I was with someone again that had a high number of partners I'd be a bit wary.

    The numbers thing is all about context as well though


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    That is a very ambigously worded thread title. :D
    I'd "feel about" them just like any other woman, start with feeling the knee and work up from there.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,638 ✭✭✭Iago


    krudler wrote: »
    in my own experience, when I was 21 I was seeing a girl who was 19 at she had slept with 22 people before me, I'll admit I was a bit shocked to hear that, I got over it though but then she wound up cheating on me (kissing someone else, not sex,at least as far as i know) so if I was with someone again that had a high number of partners I'd be a bit wary.

    Do you think if she had only slept with 2 people she would have been any more faithful to you really?

    I'll be honest, I don't see a direct coorelation between the number of people someone has slept with and their propensity to being unfaithful.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Iago wrote: »
    Do you think if she had only slept with 2 people she would have been any more faithful to you really?

    I'll be honest, I don't see a direct coorelation between the number of people someone has slept with and their propensity to being unfaithful.

    Well I'm only speaking from my own experience, even girls I know but havent been with, the ones who sleep around are the ones who usually dont take relationships seriously and wind up cheating, thats obviously not always the case but again I'm only speaking from personal experience.

    On the flip side of this, a friend of my gf's has slept with well over 150 men, she actually doesnt even know the exact amount herself, and is known as the town tramp, shes never had a boyfriend of any shape or form because as soons as guys find out how many guys she's shagged they either run a mile or just meet her for sex but dont want to be anything more than that, so in her case I'd be less worried about a virgin and more concerned about being with a walking STD farm


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Iago wrote: »
    I'll be honest, I don't see a direct coorelation between the number of people someone has slept with and their propensity to being unfaithful.

    I would agree. Heaven forbid a woman should enjoy a bit of casual sex the same way most men do.
    Heck, I've known people with no previous sexual partners who have cheated on their other halfs.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Where as a man who has a lot of partners when he's in his 20s is sewing his wild oats and getting it out of his system and experiencing life and women so he knows what he wants when he settles down.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,397 ✭✭✭Herbal Deity


    Boston wrote: »
    However, it seems, keeping sexual history a closely guarded secret is the norm for young (20 something) girls these days. One suggestion is that Irish men cannot handle the idea of their girlfriend being with another man preferring instead to think of them as little virginal doles.
    *shrug, I can handle the thought that my gf has been with other guys, I just don't like to think about it at all.

    I don't support any double standards. It's just a feeling I can't help, and for that reason, a partner's sexual history is something I just don't want to discuss very often.

    The reason why I have this feeling? In all honesty, probably because of a lack of an extensive sexual history myself. Is it a slight jealousy of a partner? Is it a feeling of slight inadequacy because of the experience gap? Is it because of a feeling that I don't deserve a partner because I'm generally so useless at socially interacting with women?

    Probably a combination of all of the above.

    I think that where many women have body issues, many guys have confidence/social value issues. Personally, I have low confidence/self worth days in a similar manner to my gf having "fat days". I think a lot of this is based on the traits society tells us the opposite sex finds attractive.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,584 ✭✭✭TouchingVirus


    Wouldn't bother me at all, I was a virgin once after all as were those people finding it a bit weird. It could even add to the fun if the parner is up for it, finding out what exactly she likes - adventure and exploration..hang on, I'll get my map!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,065 ✭✭✭DenMan


    Wouldn't bother me in the slightest either. We were all virgins at one stage in our lives. I'm not a judgmental person myself personally and it would never come up in a conversation. Just curious, why would the alarm bells be ringing OP?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Icky Thump


    id prefer if she was a virgin. i hate the tought of my girlfriend ever been with anyone else other than me. i know its ridiculous but i really would love if i was the only guy she was ever with and she was the only girl i was ever with. sure its too late for me now since i have a penius like a fecking hound dog but at least any future girlfriend could possibly be a virgin.

    i have been in serious relationships with a girl who was a virgin and a girl who wasnt. didnt really bother me either way


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,915 ✭✭✭Greyfox


    star-pants wrote: »
    Have to ask as others have - why would it ring alarm bells?

    Because when a girl in her 20's says she's a virgin a lot of the time it's because she has issues with sex and see's it as a really big deal, chances are you'll be waiting absolutely ages to get your leg over!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Icky Thump


    Greyfox wrote: »
    Because when a girl in her 20's says she's a virgin a lot of the time it's because she has issues with sex and see's it as a really big deal, chances are you'll be waiting absolutely ages to get your leg over!

    dude grow up. meeting a girl shouldnt be just trying to get your leg over. one of my ex's was in her mid 20's and was a virgin. not that she had an issue. it was because she doesnt have one nighters and she was never in a proper relationship before that. its not that she was a prude. she had done other stuff its just she never had the opportunity. if anything i have more respect for her because she sticks to her principles


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,477 ✭✭✭✭Raze_them_all


    I personally prefer non virgins, TBH I find virgins quite boring in bed and always needing reassurance, where someone with a few previous partners will always be more confident in bed.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    Khannie wrote: »
    Because it's unusual I'd say. That's not to say that there's anything wrong with it necessarily, just that it would be a sign that there might be something up.
    Aye I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with it. Some people may just never have gotten to that point or whatever.
    Iago wrote: »
    I'll be honest, I don't see a direct coorelation between the number of people someone has slept with and their propensity to being unfaithful.
    I do agree with this. I don't think because someone has had an open sex life that they're suddenly going to cheat on every bf/gf they have.
    Greyfox wrote: »
    Because when a girl in her 20's says she's a virgin a lot of the time it's because she has issues with sex and see's it as a really big deal, chances are you'll be waiting absolutely ages to get your leg over!
    Well I was/am a girl in my 20s and I was a virgin and it wasn't an issue, he wasn't 'waiting ages to get his leg over'. He had no problem with it.
    Icky Thump wrote: »
    dude grow up. meeting a girl shouldnt be just trying to get your leg over. one of my ex's was in her mid 20's and was a virgin. not that she had an issue. it was because she doesnt have one nighters and she was never in a proper relationship before that. its not that she was a prude. she had done other stuff its just she never had the opportunity. if anything i have more respect for her because she sticks to her principles
    Agreed - I'm not a one night stand/casual relationship type of person because I just don't work that way. Doesn't mean I'm a prude, doesn't mean I'm going to hold out for ages when dating someone. Just means I like to choose who I sleep with and when. That's a prerogative everyone is entitled to.
    My very first boyfriend would have liked to sleep with me, I wasn't comfortable with the idea at the time and in retrospect I'm very glad I didn't considering the type of guy he turned out to be.
    I personally prefer non virgins, TBH I find virgins quite boring in bed and always needing reassurance, where someone with a few previous partners will always be more confident in bed.
    Well... that's a little bit of a silly statement. Virgins first time in bed is never anything like the movies, guys and girls alike. It's awkward, it's sore and people get embarrassed if its not going so well.
    Anyone with experience will be more likely to have confidence, anyone doing something in their life for the first time will obviously have things to learn and need to know they're doing it right.
    People with experience in bed need reassuring too btw, not everyone's content in themselves that they're the perfect lover.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    I personally prefer non virgins, TBH I find virgins quite boring in bed and always needing reassurance, where someone with a few previous partners will always be more confident in bed.

    yes/no but there does come a stage were you get fed up teaching.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Icky Thump


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    yes/no but there does come a stage were you get fed up teaching.

    what do you need to teach?

    when i first had sex noone thaught me anything. its just something you get the feel for and get better at. of course some of us are just born amazing at everything:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,477 ✭✭✭✭Raze_them_all


    Icky Thump wrote: »
    what do you need to teach?

    when i first had sex noone thaught me anything. its just something you get the feel for and get better at. of course some of us are just born amazing at everything:D
    And some of us claim we are on the internet :P


    It's more the teaching thing. Jesus I hate it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 670 ✭✭✭Tail Wagger


    Boston wrote: »
    I, if I encountered a 25 year old virgin, alarm bells would be ringing immediately. Your views?


    Well If I got myself a 25 year old in any condition I'd be absolutely delighted with myself. I wouldn't give a hoot what was on her log book!...........


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,754 ✭✭✭Odysseus


    I somewhat agree with the alarm bells viewpoint, but on a different level. My work brings me some insight into people sexual behaviour, so I am generally quite open around any legal expression of sexuality [this does not mean I engage in it].

    Whilst there is clearly nothing wrong with being a virgin at 25 or even older, it would be in my experience out of the normal range. It would be like hearing anything else about a persons sexuality that was somewhat out of normal range; like a unusal fetish. However, I wouldn't form an opinion on the person just based on that characteristic. So maybe not alarm bells, but it might raise an eyebrow


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,477 ✭✭✭✭Raze_them_all


    Odysseus wrote: »
    I somewhat agree with the alarm bells viewpoint, but on a different level. My work brings me some insight into people sexual behaviour, so I am generally quite open around any legal expression of sexuality [this does not mean I engage in it].

    Whilst there is clearly nothing wrong with being a virgin at 25 or even older, it would be in my experience out of the normal range. It would be like hearing anything else about a persons sexuality that was somewhat out of normal range; like a unusal fetish. However, I wouldn't form an opinion on the person just based on that characteristic. So maybe not alarm bells, but it might raise an eyebrow
    Aren't all fetishes by definition out of the normal range?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,754 ✭✭✭Odysseus


    Aren't all fetishes by definition out of the normal range?


    Depends on how its used, psychotherapeutically your spot on, as the particular item is required for the act to occur; however, in general usage the definition is usually widened to include particular strong interests/desires. Would you agree?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,397 ✭✭✭Herbal Deity


    Aren't all fetishes by definition out of the normal range?
    Afaik a fetish is the association of sexual arousal with something other than a human.

    So a normal fetish would be lingerie or underwear, whereas an unusual fetish might be something like leather or latex (although both of those seem popular enough).


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Aren't all fetishes by definition out of the normal range?

    normal range defined how?

    They are with the normal range of human sexuality.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,316 ✭✭✭✭amacachi


    I'd prefer a virgin, only because I am one myself so maybe she wouldn't realise how ****e I was til I was well away. :pac:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,373 ✭✭✭Dr Galen


    lets not get into the fetish thing. The thread is dealing specifically with virginity and virgins. I think the discussion about fetishes is probably better suited to the S&S forum than here tbh.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,492 ✭✭✭Thomas828


    Well, I'm a virgin myself, so meeting a virgin woman of any age wouldn't bother me. I never bothered looking for sex, first because I was too shy and inhibited and now because I just can't be bothered any more. I wonder what would happen if, in the afterlife, as Mullahs and Imams promise, I do meet all the huri (virgins of paradise). I suppose there wouldn't much in the way of sex involved.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,178 ✭✭✭✭NothingMan


    I waited a fair while considering the chances I had as a teenager. When I was 17/18 I was with 2 girls who were not virgins and both wanted to do it pretty soon. One I didn't want to and the other I never felt I had the right moment (ie. Not in my mams room with 50 other people getting drunk around the house). Was with another girl when I was 19 and by that point I reeeeaaalllyyyy wanted to, but she was 17 and wasn't ready so that was fine.

    Eventually did lose it with my gf when I was 20 and it was awkward and took some practice but 4 years on we've pretty much got the hang of it ;). I do sometimes look back at some of the smokin girls I was with that I didn't do it with and wish I had but there is a certain comfort in knowing me and my gf have only ever had sex with each other, although neither of us were exactly inexperienced sexually, just never had the full act.


    On a side note when I was 18, I got up from a bed and walked away from a guaranteed threesome cos I was nervous and didn't know what to do. Man do I kick myself for that one!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Icky Thump


    to be honest im happy if any girl wants to have sex with me so i dont care about her been a virgin:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Wow, a lot of jumping to conclusion. If I met a 25 year old who was a virgin I'd suspect their attitude towards sex was not in-line with my attitude towards sex. I'm a big believer in only having sex when it means something, not just the first time, but if someone has elevated virginity to a lofty high and turned it into this "gift" they have to bestow upon a deserving mate, well frankly, we're incompatible. Even this (as one poster put it) "giving someone your virginity" is completely ridiculous, as it suggest losing ones virginity is a kin to losing something of value.

    Add to that the fact I've done the virgin thing and personally I'd rather someone with some experience.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    nedtheshed wrote: »
    We are a pretty open society in terms of sex and sexuality so why would she feel it neccessary to lie?

    I reckon it would be more plausible that she could lie about not being a virgin ie she may feel inexperienced,inadequte etc etc.

    Im not too sure what exactly you are asking though.
    :confused:

    We do not live in a pretty open society. We live in a very closed mouth one, people may be shagging left right and centre, but theres still an attitude that having sex outside marriage is bad and something not to be talked about, especially across genders.
    koth wrote: »

    From my own point of view I'm a virgin still because I seem to have a knack for falling for women that have no interest in me. Obviously I don't know that at the time, it just seems to reach the point where they aren't interested.

    Don't take this the wrong way but that would be one reason why alarm bells would be ringing with me. If I heard that account for why a person is a virgin I'd conclude that the chap in question liked setting up no hope situations for himself that never went anywhere, and that maybe getting involved was a waste of time.
    Jemmy wrote: »
    Because they made a choice not to shag the first person that came along, and waited til they were in a committed loving relationship? I don't see the problem with that at all. I've had 2 BFs that were virgins when I met them, it didnt change my opinion of them when it came around to being intimate later in the relationship.

    Thats it is it? Those two extremes, shag everyone or only have sex in meaningful loving relationships.
    Milly10 wrote: »
    Why would alarm bells be ringing?
    I myself am a 22 year old girl and also a virgin. I don't mean to sound vain in any way but I receive alot of attention from men and I think this plays a huge part in the reason for me remaining a virgin until now.. alot of men, 90% I would imagine, just want sex.
    It's not something Im particularly proud of, in fact I find it a bit embarassing and really don't think I would admit it to my virginity to any future partners. I don't have any issues, apart from being fussy and not wanting to sleep with 'just anyone', so why would a man have a problem with a virgin?? I suppose I could ask myself then why I would be embarrassed about being one!

    You've a weird impression of men. That there these crude emotionless beast who don't care for love nor companionship. Yes, men want sex, if you'd had it, changes are you too would also want to have it. Some times young men see sex as the goal, but they grow out of it after a while.
    Jemmy wrote: »

    I agree I would be a little surprised too considering people attitude towards sex these days, but to say alarm bells would start ringing?! It gives the impression there may be a problem or something wrong with them for being a virgin.

    No, but being a virgin may be a sign of some other issue, such as an unwillingness to committee to a relationship or some deep seeded sexual hang up.
    Thaedydal wrote: »
    It's funny, the "acceptable" number for women to have had as previous partners has shifted a little but not a lot. It's gone form none to 2/3 but only if the loved them and were in a relationship.

    Interesting, you'll notice that the idea of women having sex in a loving relationship as being better then casual hook ups was first put forward in this thread by a woman?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,397 ✭✭✭Herbal Deity


    The expression "alarm bells" would tend to indicate that one would think there was something very wrong with the person in question as opposed to mere incompatibility.

    I agree with your above post though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    Its not something that would cause me to raise an eyebrow...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,754 ✭✭✭Odysseus


    lets not get into the fetish thing. The thread is dealing specifically with virginity and virgins. I think the discussion about fetishes is probably better suited to the S&S forum than here tbh.

    Sorry that was my fault, I was just using that term as a way of formalising my thoughts around the topic in question.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,496 ✭✭✭Mr. Presentable


    So long as she hasn't shagged Boston, who cares?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,117 ✭✭✭AnnyHallsal


    Iago wrote: »
    From a womans point of view, they don't want to be seen as easy or frigid.
    That frigid word is horrible, and very rarely accurate. In my experience it was vengefully lashed at girls who rejected young fellas they weren't interested in. May we hope for a world in which girls don't worry about being called "frigid." Or easy.

    I had a few (male) virgins in time. Obviously you judge on a case by case basis. It isn't a deal breaker for me. Endearing in the right person.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Well yea, wrong for me. Virginity in and of itself (bar the lack of experience thing) is no issue for me, but I'm not going to get involved with someone whose entire sex image revolves around being a virgin. I've met two women for which this was the case. They went to lengths to point out their virginity to all who met them.

    Another thing, when you hear people talk about waiting for "the one" run a mile. The one will often be this completely idealised image of a man or woman which bares absolutely connection to how real people actual are.

    I say this btw, as someone who has turned down many an offer of sex (as is natural for most people) including my first opportunity to loose my virginity, simply because the people were not right.
    nipplenuts wrote: »
    So long as she hasn't shagged Boston, who cares?

    Fear not.
    That frigid word is horrible, and very rarely accurate. In my experience it was vengefully lashed at girls who rejected young fellas they weren't interested in. May we hope for a world in which girls don't worry about being called "frigid." Or easy.

    I had a few (male) virgins in time. Obviously you judge on a case by case basis. It isn't a deal breaker for me. Endearing in the right person.

    Tell me, which gender do you think uses words like frigid and easy/slut/whore/slag more often?


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,264 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    While a virgin wouldn't put me off, I would prefer someone who had some experience.
    If the plan is to go racing in Mondello, I'd like them to at least be able to drive a car.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,117 ✭✭✭AnnyHallsal


    Boston wrote: »
    (bar the lack of experience thing)
    That's amusing. It's not only employers who insist on experience these days ;) I understand your reservations, though I think it's a little harsh. Sexual compatibility is crucial to a relationship but most pairs of people have to get accustomed to each other's quirks regardless of how many shags they've had in the past. The virgin could be a natural ;) Also, some girls have sex for the wrong reasons and can have all kinds of neuroses virgins may be innocent of.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,117 ✭✭✭AnnyHallsal


    Boston wrote: »
    Tell me, which gender do you think uses words like frigid and easy/slut/whore/slag more often?
    Male, in my experience.


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