Cancer, chemo about to start

spud82 · 13-04-2015 11:25am #1

Hi all

My dad has cancer, and he will be starting chemo in a few weeks. he has just finished his radium so he will be having a break for a few weeks before the chemo starts

I was just wondering what to expect. How sick does someone get with it? He will be having sessions every third week through the veins, and I am just scared of it. It's going to be 8 sessions every 3rd week. ( for bowel cancer)

I have visited him every week and spoken every day and helped out as much as I could. I was just wondering what else I could do for him? Does the appearance change much? I think I just want to be prepared for it. He hasn't been sick yet just really tired.

The doctors have said once the treatment is over, he will be okay which is great. i just wish I had a time machine to fast forward this time. it's just so scary. Thanks x

ShiverinEskimo · 13-04-2015 11:45am

Depending on the course he us likely to lose his hair. For the days immediately after the dose he will be a shell. He'll likely lose a lot of weight.

Will likely only get out of bed to go to the toilet and unfortunately he might not always make it in time - his dignity will take a hit or two along the way as a result and this is the part I found most difficult to witness. He hated being a burden and was so ashamed of himself when the accidents happened. Very difficult to see.

He won't be able to even look at food and you're going to argue with him over it. Try alternatives in liquid form: juices, energy drinks and smoothies etc.

It's a bumpy road for sure. It'll be tough to sit there and watch, I know if I could have shared the sickness and pain for him I would have, just keep remembering that it's a means to an end.

CathyMoran · 13-04-2015 8:00pm

Not everyone has the same reaction to chemo so it will be up to your daddy to find how he takes it, some treatments cause hair loss, some do not.

It is easier said than done but stop looking it up - help your daddy on his journey by being there when he wants you too. I know that I had things to look forward to for my 'good week' before I went back to it but do remember that everyone is different and your daddy could be a lot better.

Remember that your daddy is tougher than this.

You also need to look after yourself during this time - remember you are of no use to your daddy if you are not well yourself.

I am an 8.5 year esophageal cancer survivor at this stage and I do not remember any of the chemo.

coffeepls · 15-04-2015 5:07am

Hi - I'm currently going through chemo (metastatic breast cancer - stage 4), a little more frequently than your dad's will be, but that's just my cycles. Every patient is different.

Before I started chemo my concerns were similar, so here's my thoughts then ' now:
Hair loss? For some it can happen about 2 weeks of more after the 1st dose of chemo. I did not lose all my hair. Shedding is a yukky experience. If your dad starts losing his hair, being rid of it is better. There is nothing worse than the moulting. Eitherways - check with the oncologist if his chemo drugs will cause hair loss - mine was a known one for it, but not all cause hair loss at all. Do remember it will grow back after chemo. It's only hair, not a limb!

Sickness: chemo drugs haven't changed a lot over the years, but stopping all the side effects drugs have. I have a nice supply of pain killers, anti nausea pills, antiacid tablets, ones for diarrhoea, constipation.... do I take them all? Whenever I need to. Did I take any today? Just the antiacid. Will I take them tomorrow? Definitely the antiacid, and maybe others tomorrow depending on how my body feels. Your dad will also get used to this regime. It takes a bit of getting used to, dosing yourself whenever you've an inkling of discomfort.

Tiredness: fatigue is a right annoyance. I take naps whenever I feel suddenly tired. 30 mins and I'm rested. They're not like naps a well person has, they're usually short. all exercise for me is out of the question. A walk around tescos has me worn out! I am used to this now and I just plan my day better. Busy is not something I can do.

Weight: I thought I would lose weight - unfortunately this is a 50/50 thing for patients. Some lose weight.... Some gain it. I have yet to see any patients that look wasted at all. I am certainly not losing it.

Appearance: pale seems to be common enough in chemo. Pale & tired. There's that fatigue again!

Food & eating: I hated the look of most food at first, but now I have no problems. Bear in mind that chemo will happily attack all cells, including the gut. So a fry up will go down like a lead balloon. Your dad will probably go for easy food like soups at first, and gradually move on to different things. Little and often is good at first. The amount of times I just thought 'what will I eat?' I find the easiest thing to do is to not go hungry. If I get hunger pangs in the middle of the night I have cereal.

I can't think of more things now to tell you, hopefully I have helped you a bit. Ask me if there's something else you think I could answer. Wishing you & your dad all the best.

WildRosie · 15-04-2015 8:06pm

It's different for everyone really. My Dad lost most of his hair (he didn't shave it, point blank refused to give cancer an inch!) and it grew back quite quickly after the chemo stopped. He lost a lot of weight, but that wasn't necessarily down to the treatment, he had oesophageal cancer, so couldn't physically eat. He tolerated the chemo quite well. His particular combination went on for 6-8 cycles depending on tolerance. He did 6 with very little side effects and the first dose of the 7th just completely knocked him off his feet and it was stopped then. It was the radiation that really floored him, fatigue wise, I've never seen anything like it, he could sleep for 20 hours at a time and ended up having the last course as an inpatient as he was so fatigued, he was a falls risk etc. He also had quite a few infections during chemo and was admitted for them.

They can do so much for the side effects these days, most of the drugs he was on were for side effects and his pain was very well managed until the end. If your Dad is having trouble eating/maintaining weight, I would strongly advise an appointment with a dietician and getting some high energy drinks and doing it before weight/eating becomes concerning. Dad couldn't tolerate ensure/fortisip but got on very well with nualtra, an Irish brand.

Dad's appearance did change, he lost a lot of weight but then he was on high dose steroids for a long time so his face got very bloated even though his body was skinny. His colour would change, you'd know by looking at him when he was anaemic. Also, the particular type of chemo Dad was on (it's called a platinum drug I think and is quite common) caused his kidneys to dump massive amounts of magnesium and we would also know by his appearance when he was low on mag, he would also get cranky and get cramps in his fingers. Any little niggling side effects like that should always be reported to the nurses because they can be a sign of something like that and can be easily rectified.

It's great that the doctors are optimistic about your Dad, I hope everything goes well for him. The best thing you can do for him is just be there as much as you can. I know with my Dad, he absolutely hated being asked if he was ok, how was he feeling. He just wanted to get on with it and if he needed something he'd tell you and just wanted things to be as normal as possible. Once or twice we did have to be a bit firm with him about telling the nurses things cos he could be a bit stubborn but once the nurses got to know him better they would spot things without even having to be told.

spud82 · 21-04-2015 5:31pm

Hey all

Sorry for the delay in posting.Have had a busy week and attended two ( unexpected ) funerals, and am trying to fit in work, babysitting and a tonne of other stuff the last while. Sorry for not replying

I really appreciate all your replies. Dad is looking great and is just tired at the moment, he is relaxing and meeting up with friends and going out and about

Once chemo starts i know it will be tough but I will take it one day at a time. It will be a long few months but we will get there

Thanks so much for all your replies much appreciated xx

Cancer, chemo about to start

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