I get attached to quickly

Like I was wittering on in another thread hereabouts and like I'll witter on here,:) I reckon people fall into a point somewhere on the line between pushers and pullers. In romantic connections especially. Pullers are the clingy types, pushers are the emotionally uninvolved types. The extremes along that line both stem from insecurity about themselves.

Those extremes tend to be attracted to each other too, which makes the situation more problematic. Pullers will seek out pushers as they plug into the insecurities of both. Of course that can escalate the behaviour of both types. The chances are high that you'll seek out men who are less emotionally involved and available by comparison to you. Which attracts you even more and also makes you feel lesser for not engaging with them. Rinse and repeat. This lesser feeling also plugs into your own self belief about yourself, which paradoxically feels safe to you.

The other thing you have to deal with more as a woman is the feeling that a lone woman is considered somehow lesser by peers and society in general(even in these post "feminist" times. Looong way to go there, among women as much as men). Even nouns for the single genders have different connotations. Spinster is pejorative as a term, bachelor is seem in a much better light. A woman on her own in a bar is seen as both vulnerable and in some ways a target, a man on his own is barely registered. Your female friends are more likely to talk about relationships than your male friends to boot. More importance is seemingly placed on that aspect of life. I know very accomplished women that judge a large part of their value on their relationships(not just romantic either).

All of this (adding your insecurities) makes you feel left out and in a way desperate to find a relationship. This may come across in the choices of men you fall for and will be picked up by the men you fall for. That can be a good recipe for failure. Again rinse and repeat.

As for the counselor, there are good and bad like in everything and maybe you should seek out another. Maybe you need more of a simple sounding board to reinforce the things you already know. The good things and the ways you ahve within yourself to change this idea about yourself.

Ultimately the relationship you have with yourself, warts and all will inform any relationship you have with others. If it's a pretty good one, then they will be similar.

Look to yoruself for a while. Work on you, your homelife, your career, maybe change the aforementioned. A change is as good as a rest. Don't equate your entire value with your need to be part of a couple. Two balanced individuals coming together as a couple, yet remaining individuals that share their individuality is what makes a good partnership. Don't beat yourself up about not finding that(or you) yet. I would say in my experience those kind of couples are by far the minority.

The work starts within you. No one else will get rid of that need but you and you have the power to do it. Also you never know what's coming around the bend so take each day as it comes and enjoy each day and experience as growth.

Do that and you'll be ok I reckon.

End wittering...:D