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Long Distance Struggles

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  • 09-09-2014 6:11pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My boyfriend is currently on a trip for 3 months with a group of friends. We had only met a couple of months before hand but we’ d gotten very close and really liked each other so decided to stay together. I thought it would fly but he’s been gone just three weeks now and with 11 more to go I’m finding it hard. I am crazy about him and I know I wouldn’t let my own head get turned in this time but I do worry it won’t be the same for him.

    I’m usually quite confident and secure but the doubts seem to creep in much more often than I would have expected. Whenever I get a spare minute I find myself thinking about him, checking his facebook. I get paranoid about girls tagging him in photos and convince myself he has gone off with them and forgotten me already. Usually I come to my senses fairly quickly and realise he’s never given me any reason not to trust him.

    Communication has been limited to a few IM’s but I know he is working on fixing that. When we do IM I try to fill him in on whats going on at home and keep positive but if I say I miss him, I worry that he’ll think I’m trying to make him feel bad.

    I suppose I’m feeling vulnerable and a bit neurotic and really not myself. I’m wondering if it was stupid to stay together with such a new relationship? Should I learn to deal with things or just nip it in the bud. I know these are my decisions to make but advice would be helpful.


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    #2
    Semele
    Registered Users Posts: 753 ✭✭✭Semele


    Don't panic just because it's hard now! That will likely change. A guy I had been seeing for just under 4 months went away on a 6 month trip (planned before we met) and we wanted to stay together. I found that I really missed him for the first few weeks, then it got a lot easier as I was used to it...then before I knew it I was starting to look forward to him coming back!

    Time is so relative- difficult feelings won't just accumulate because in a few more weeks you'll be more than halfway through and able to count down the time. 3 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things- it may seem a lot looking forward but when I think back to June now it may as well have been yesterday for all the notice I've taken of it passing. Keep yourself busy, don't make a big deal of being miserable if/when you're speaking to him and look forward to seeing him again.


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    #3
    Stan27
    Registered Users Posts: 530 ✭✭✭Stan27


    Hey.
    In know why you are going through.
    My gf went to Brazil for college for 5 months (organised before we met). Yes it will be tough at times but we wanted to stay together. Still together and so happy we made it work. Look at it this way. If you make it you relationship will be stronger an show you how much te other person cares.
    Good luck.


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