My Story

PurpleSmile wrote: »

Hi All,

I just felt it would be good to share my story here, as I think while starting/doing a search it is uplifting to read of others successes.

I used this forum quite a bit while doing my search to get information and support but due to a run in with the social worker on my case I felt the need to take all my posts down etc and no longer submit here.

I started my search in Jan 2011. To be honest I wasn't very proactive. I wrote to the adoption board requesting information about my birth and adoption. At the time I wasn't sure what road I wanted to go down. So I did little else on the search untill June 2011. Having not heard back from the adoption board other than to be told my letter had been recieved - I began to follow up on the situation and was given an appointment with the social worker assigned to my case in July. At the meeting I agreeded to the adoption Board starting a search on my behalf.

Little did I know and I certaintly did not expect how the next 5weeks would be the end of the life I knew then and the beginning of a new and very different chapter for me.

When the social worker called me after such a short time to let me know she had met my birth mother and she was open to a meeting etc I cannot even begin to put it in words how that felt.

To learn I wasn't a forgotten baby - given up and never thought of again - in fact quite the opposite was just a fantastic day for me - it was like nothing else mattered anymore - like life came into focus and the blurry edges dissapeared.

The next few weeks passed fairly quickly and on the outset I was eager to take things slowly - but once I recieved the first letter from my Birth Mother (we wrote one each) - well things snowballed - within a few very short weeks we were emailing/facebooking/texting on a daily basis - but it was the utter ease of the whole situation that blew me away the most.

We would send a mail at the exact same moment - or a text - we would often send a random mail/text that would say the indentical thing.......it was crazy and still is.

Our first meeting was just mad. We were both so nervous, for about 5minutes, then we talked for hours about everything and nothing. We are so alike in so many ways and have very similar traits etc. Since then we have met up loads, spent time together at xmas and family events (My BirthMother has a few children - who know about me and have welcomed me in and become my friends)

I know I am one of the very very lucky ones. Not only have I been blessed with an amazing and supportive adopted family but I also had the easiest and most amazing reunion anyone could ever have wished for.

I do not take any of this for granted, and I fully appreciate how others are not so lucky. I just wanted to share my story to give people hope.
The start of the journey can seem long and daunting.

You have no idea what to expect and at times I wondered was I doing the right thing.

There are times when those "helping" you may not seem so helpful. Or when people involved will try and tell you there two cent worth, making you doubt yourself and your feelings etc........

Keep focused on YOU and why you are doing this and what you need and want.........
because there was a stage in my journey,before my birth mother was even contacted, were I thought - is it worth all this stress and emotions??
For me, Thankfully, the minute I opened that first letter I knew it was all worth it -every minute, every tear, everything.

I look forward to every single day now........and I am truely greatful for those in my life who supported me and for my new family.

It has been the best and most precious experiance of my life to date.

Good Luck to those beginning a new search. Keep positive and keep going.

To those already in the process - never give up - Stay positive and I hope and pray you have a happy result at the end of the road

And to those who have had a hurtful/upsetting/unwanted outcome - I feel for you - but never give up on yourself because you are worth more - Try and stay positive and keep living and dreaming and hoping

P

PurpleSmile wrote: »

Hi All,

I just felt it would be good to share my story here, as I think while starting/doing a search it is uplifting to read of others successes.

I used this forum quite a bit while doing my search to get information and support but due to a run in with the social worker on my case I felt the need to take all my posts down etc and no longer submit here.

I started my search in Jan 2011. To be honest I wasn't very proactive. I wrote to the adoption board requesting information about my birth and adoption. At the time I wasn't sure what road I wanted to go down. So I did little else on the search untill June 2011. Having not heard back from the adoption board other than to be told my letter had been recieved - I began to follow up on the situation and was given an appointment with the social worker assigned to my case in July. At the meeting I agreeded to the adoption Board starting a search on my behalf.

Little did I know and I certaintly did not expect how the next 5weeks would be the end of the life I knew then and the beginning of a new and very different chapter for me.

When the social worker called me after such a short time to let me know she had met my birth mother and she was open to a meeting etc I cannot even begin to put it in words how that felt.

To learn I wasn't a forgotten baby - given up and never thought of again - in fact quite the opposite was just a fantastic day for me - it was like nothing else mattered anymore - like life came into focus and the blurry edges dissapeared.

The next few weeks passed fairly quickly and on the outset I was eager to take things slowly - but once I recieved the first letter from my Birth Mother (we wrote one each) - well things snowballed - within a few very short weeks we were emailing/facebooking/texting on a daily basis - but it was the utter ease of the whole situation that blew me away the most.

We would send a mail at the exact same moment - or a text - we would often send a random mail/text that would say the indentical thing.......it was crazy and still is.

Our first meeting was just mad. We were both so nervous, for about 5minutes, then we talked for hours about everything and nothing. We are so alike in so many ways and have very similar traits etc. Since then we have met up loads, spent time together at xmas and family events (My BirthMother has a few children - who know about me and have welcomed me in and become my friends)

I know I am one of the very very lucky ones. Not only have I been blessed with an amazing and supportive adopted family but I also had the easiest and most amazing reunion anyone could ever have wished for.

I do not take any of this for granted, and I fully appreciate how others are not so lucky. I just wanted to share my story to give people hope.
The start of the journey can seem long and daunting.

You have no idea what to expect and at times I wondered was I doing the right thing.

There are times when those "helping" you may not seem so helpful. Or when people involved will try and tell you there two cent worth, making you doubt yourself and your feelings etc........

Keep focused on YOU and why you are doing this and what you need and want.........
because there was a stage in my journey,before my birth mother was even contacted, were I thought - is it worth all this stress and emotions??
For me, Thankfully, the minute I opened that first letter I knew it was all worth it -every minute, every tear, everything.

I look forward to every single day now........and I am truely greatful for those in my life who supported me and for my new family.

It has been the best and most precious experiance of my life to date.

Good Luck to those beginning a new search. Keep positive and keep going.

To those already in the process - never give up - Stay positive and I hope and pray you have a happy result at the end of the road

And to those who have had a hurtful/upsetting/unwanted outcome - I feel for you - but never give up on yourself because you are worth more - Try and stay positive and keep living and dreaming and hoping

P