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Can I be stopped from seeing my Son?

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  • 17-03-2014 9:28pm
    #1
    pilph
    Registered Users Posts: 48 ✭


    Hello,

    Sadly my ex girlfriend & I broke up while she was pregnant with our son. A month ago out of the blue she stopped me from seeing him. She has threatened me with the Gardai and told me if I go near her house she will call them.

    We are due to go to court soon to finalise some details but I am wondering if there are ways she can stop me seeing him? I am petrified thinking about it and miss him so much. He really is what I am living for right now and given he is only a few months old I feel like I am missing out on so much. It's heartbreaking really, just wondering if anyone can shed light on things.

    Moderators, apologies if anything above is out of order or if this is in the wrong place.

    Thanks,

    P.


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    #2
    jane82
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,590 ✭✭✭jane82


    Pay your maintenance dont be a junkie and dont be violent or threatening. Keep a cool head you will get access.


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    #3
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,687 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    You need legal advice here, if you are named on the birth cert as the father it makes a difference.

    Have you guardianship?


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    #4
    pilph
    Registered Users Posts: 48 ✭pilph


    jane82 wrote: »
    Pay your maintenance dont be a junkie and dont be violent or threatening. Keep a cool head you will get access.

    Thanks Jane.

    No problem with any of the above, maintenance in order and I have asked very politely if I can see him. The violence in the relationship was on the other side, I was on the receiving end of it a few times.

    Cool head is good advice, all I want to do is see him. I don't want any nastiness or anything he will be number one.


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    #5
    pilph
    Registered Users Posts: 48 ✭pilph


    Stheno wrote: »
    You need legal advice here, if you are named on the birth cert as the father it makes a difference.

    Have you guardianship?

    She has told my solicitor that guardianship will not be a problem and as far as I know my name was on the registration documentation. I signed it but was not present when it was submitted.

    There are things I could mention in court but I am scared to death of my ex. I've never seen anyone to go to such lengths to get revenge on people once she feels she has been crossed. I don't know what I could be accused of. I'm just petrified that she will lie and the judge will stop me seeing him.


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    #6
    Kieron Wood
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭Kieron Wood


    Download the guardianship form here and both parents sign it.

    http://irishbarrister.com/guardian.html


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    #7
    HotHHead
    Registered Users Posts: 110 ✭✭HotHHead


    Stheno wrote: »
    You need legal advice here, if you are named on the birth cert as the father it makes a difference.

    Have you guardianship?
    Name on the birth cert is irrelevant, makes no differece.

    Access is not dependat on mainteance been paid as they are treated as two seperate issues but any decent father will have this well in order before court. NEVER pay cash, always banks transfer, something that has a paper trail. No father should need a court order to tell him he has to pay maintenance.

    If she is violent etc as you said, record her on your phone, even if its just recording sound, tell her your recording her once she starts etc.

    The majority of fathers are awarded guardianship unless your a junkie, murderer etc! some judges will send you away and tell you to come back in three months to see if you will take up regular access, pay your maintenance before they award it to you.

    She has told your solicitor she has no issue with guardianship but yet she has stoppd access for no reason, you obviously can't trust this woman so thread carefully


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    #8
    diveout
    Closed Accounts Posts: 746 ✭✭✭diveout


    HotHHead wrote: »
    Name on the birth cert is irrelevant, makes no differece.

    Access is not dependat on mainteance been paid as they are treated as two seperate issues but any decent father will have this well in order before court. NEVER pay cash, always banks transfer, something that has a paper trail. No father should need a court order to tell him he has to pay maintenance.

    If she is violent etc as you said, record her on your phone, even if its just recording sound, tell her your recording her once she starts etc.

    The majority of fathers are awarded guardianship unless your a junkie, murderer etc! some judges will send you away and tell you to come back in three months to see if you will take up regular access, pay your maintenance before they award it to you.

    She has told your solicitor she has no issue with guardianship but yet she has stoppd access for no reason, you obviously can't trust this woman so thread carefully

    How is a recording on the phone going to prove she is violent?

    ALso it is illegal to record someone without their consent, so unless she explicitely states on the recording, yes you have my consent and states her name etc,.

    If she is violent its up to you to prove it with some kind of paper trail. Have you reported it to the police? Gone to counselling? What kind of violence are you talking about?


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    #9
    mr170
    Registered Users Posts: 94 ✭✭mr170


    This makes my blood boil why should the woman always call the shots..You keep doing what your doing and you will be fine. But dont lose the head it will play right into her hands.


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    #10
    Kevhog1988
    Registered Users Posts: 3,968 ✭✭✭Kevhog1988


    i was in the exact same situation. Ill pm you now op


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    #11
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    mr170 - posting the same thing repeatedly and generalising is against our charter, please don't do it again, I have removed all of your repeat posts.


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    #12
    HotHHead
    Registered Users Posts: 110 ✭✭HotHHead


    If you read what I posted, you'd see I told the op to tell her he was recording her once she starts, it can then be used.
    Paper trail is nothing if she constantly comes back and says it happened the other way around.. or its his word against hers.. records her, even if shes verbally abusing you.
    Also maybe consider a protection/safety order..


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