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Cannot make best friends hen night due to living in Australia

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  • 17-04-2015 11:38pm
    #1
    AineM2013
    Registered Users Posts: 37 ✭


    Really feel bad I cannot make my lovely friends hen but I will be home for her wedding, I was trying to think of a way to make it up to her in the week or 2 before the wedding. Was thinking a spa day? Does anyone have any ideas?


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    #2
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    Ah now. You're missing a night out, nothing more. The important thing is that you're making the effort to be there for her wedding, which is fantastic of you. There's absolutely no reason to 'make it up to her' that you're missing a hen night. There's nothing to make up!


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    #3
    hardCopy
    Registered Users Posts: 5,969 ✭✭✭hardCopy


    Nobody was ever going to expect you to come home twice. Absolutely no reason to feel bad.


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    #4
    westernlass
    Registered Users Posts: 598 ✭✭✭westernlass


    A friend received a bunch of flowers the morning after Her hen and was delighted. It was a friend who couldn't make it with a note. It was nice to be reminded of her during the next day fun


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    #5
    amybabes
    Registered Users Posts: 350 ✭✭amybabes


    I sent my friend a really nice bottle of champagne so it was in her hotel room waiting for her when she checked in just to say thinking of you and wish I could be there tonight. But like you, I am travelling from Australia to attend her wedding in July!


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    #6
    Milly33
    Registered Users Posts: 8,638 ✭✭✭Milly33


    Maybe champers and flowers would be a nice idea. Not that you need to do anything but if you wanted too.. Id say like two weeks before she will probably have things like spa bits and bobs done.. She may have lots on also close to the big day. so flowers and champers or a night out when ye are home for dinner and a catch up


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    #7
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    Champagne and flowers?? :rolleyes: Good grief. The OP is already travelling 10,000 miles from Australia to attend this wedding. She most certainly does not need to be sending champagne and flowers for not attending a hen night due to the fact that she isn't making a 20,000 mile round trip twice. Bloody heck.


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    #8
    fits
    Registered Users Posts: 13,268 ✭✭✭✭fits


    Yep you dont need to make it up at all. Maybe you could accompany to her to pedicure in days before wedding. Thatd be lovely but you certainly dont need to do anything.


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    #9
    Milly33
    Registered Users Posts: 8,638 ✭✭✭Milly33


    well she did ask what would be nice to get, twas the point of the post


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    #10
    sillysocks
    Registered Users Posts: 2,635 ✭✭✭sillysocks


    I'm sure your friend wouldn't expect anything but when I was missing a good friends hen I felt the same and just wanted to send her a token.
    I ended up finding a cake maker nearby who did up cupcakes with some hen night decorations on them and I sent them to where she was doing a daytime activity. She loved them and appreciated the thought.


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    #11
    haveringchick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,380 ✭✭✭haveringchick


    OP a "good luck gutted im missing the crack" message on the brides FB page is entirely sufficient.
    Please no flowers or champagne or chocolates or cake or other treats.
    Your traveling and spending enough on her wedding as it is.
    If we're the bride I would be absolutely mortified if you went to any more expense or trouble.


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    #12
    stickybookmark
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,186 ✭✭✭stickybookmark


    I've missed alot of hens due to living abroad, never occured to me I should make it up to the ladies in question, oops!
    I felt sorry for myself to be honest, I was the one missing all the craic!!


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    #13
    Toto Wolfcastle
    Registered Users Posts: 25,005 ✭✭✭✭Toto Wolfcastle


    Obviously there's no need to make it up to her, and I know she wouldn't be expecting anything, but that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with doing something. If you want to do something then sending a bottle of sparkling wine or something to her at her hen is a lovely idea. I know I'd do something similar, not because I'd feel the need to make it up so her, but because it's a lovely thing to do.


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    #14
    skallywag
    Registered Users Posts: 2,987 ✭✭✭skallywag


    Agree with the other posters, as someone who now lives away from Ireland myself I would always either do the stag or the wedding but never both.


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    #15
    Frynge
    Registered Users Posts: 1,667 ✭✭✭Frynge


    Strip-o-gram.


    Or what my wife got form one of her friends was a video from someone who couldn't make the hen or wedding and it was played on the hen.


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    #16
    An Bhanríon
    Registered Users Posts: 254 ✭✭An Bhanríon


    As everybody else says, do not feel bad. The fact that you are travelling from Australia for the wedding is such a lovely thing to do.

    What about doing a little video to say 'have a great night'? You could film bits in different places you frequent. And if you wanted to you could get various friends (or random strangers!) to say 'Hey XXXXX, congratulations. Hope you have a great hen night!' Then send it to whoever is organising the hen night and it can be played as a surprise for the bride.

    Of course, this kind of thing might not be your cup of tea at all :-). I love doing stuff like that!!!


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    #17
    Redser87
    Registered Users Posts: 610 ✭✭✭Redser87


    An Bhanríon wrote: »
    As everybody else says, do not feel bad. The fact that you are travelling from Australia for the wedding is such a lovely thing to do.

    What about doing a little video to say 'have a great night'? You could film bits in different places you frequent. And if you wanted to you could get various friends (or random strangers!) to say 'Hey XXXXX, congratulations. Hope you have a great hen night!' Then send it to whoever is organising the hen night and it can be played as a surprise for the bride.

    Of course, this kind of thing might not be your cup of tea at all :-). I love doing stuff like that!!!

    I think this is a lovely idea. OP you are already making a huge effort to be there for her. One of my friends can't make it back from Oz for either the hen or the wedding and I would feel dreadful if I thought she felt guilty about it. I would love her there for either or both, but everyone knows that flights to and from Australia are expensive and time-consuming.


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    #18
    AineM2013
    Registered Users Posts: 37 ✭AineM2013


    Thanks everyone, I think the video is a cool idea! I defo don't feel bad anymore about not being able to attend, so thanks everyone :)


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    #19
    P_1
    Registered Users Posts: 14,681 ✭✭✭✭P_1


    Send a video to be played on the night of the hen and if you're really pushed chip in for a round of drinks on the night. Unless your friend has gone full Bridezilla she'll understand how impossible it would be for you to jet over from Oz just for a night out


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    #20
    messrs
    Registered Users Posts: 1,853 ✭✭✭messrs


    Agree with other posters where I don't think you need to do anything, you live in a different country so im sure the bride completely understands! Even make up a big poster wishing her fun on her hen night ect and get someone to take a pic of you holding it and post it to her FB page or just record a nice message telling them all to have lots of fun ect and send it to her - or you could even post her a nice card that she will get on the Friday, with a nice personal message - no need for gifts or anything though


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    #21
    An Bhanríon
    Registered Users Posts: 254 ✭✭An Bhanríon


    Was just thinking about this again and remembering my own wedding and people travelling from abroad for it. It was just the most amazing feeling to know that someone had travelled a long distance especially to celebrate my wedding. I mean, I appreciated everyone who came, of course, even if they were just coming up the road (!!!) but to know someone had taken time off work, paid for flights and accommodation and travelled from overseas to come to my wedding was really really special. Your friend is very lucky to have you.

    So no guilty feelings whatsoever about the hen party, right?!!!


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    #22
    KwackerJack
    Registered Users Posts: 2,126 ✭✭✭KwackerJack


    If that's all you have to worry about you have it handy!

    She's a good mate yes? Then a paid weekend away or a simple gift will suffice.

    I'm sure she understands with the distance involved.


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    #23
    ronjo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,201 ✭✭✭ronjo


    KwackerJack wrote: »
    If that's all you have to worry about you have it handy!

    She's a good mate yes? Then a paid weekend away or a simple gift will suffice.

    I'm sure she understands with the distance involved.

    Thats absolutely crazy stuff !


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    #24
    skallywag
    Registered Users Posts: 2,987 ✭✭✭skallywag


    ronjo wrote: »
    Thats absolutely crazy stuff !

    +1

    It's not the actual wedding she is missing, it's the hen !


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