home or away?

mariaalice · 30-06-2011 9:23am #1

I know there are a lot of young people on here ....so you are in a situation where you have just done the leaving you are 18 ( a girl ) ...life is good you have a nice bf and lots of friends ...the only thing you don't have is a job and no real way of getting one in Ireland but then again none of your friends have a job either.... you are surviving on small hand out from you mum and dad .....you also have a sister in the uk with her own home in a large urban area and she can get you a full time job would you go over and take the job leaving your friends and bf knowing no one except your sister who is always working anyway so you will be left on you own a lot none of your friends or bf can come with you...or would you stay here and scrape by and at least you have your friends and bf here?

30-06-2011 9:24am

what

Hasmunch · 30-06-2011 9:28am

Go to college and get a degree in something you would really like to work at perhaps

RedXIV · 30-06-2011 9:28am

Get the job.

move back later with relevant experience, become more employable.

NEXT!

mariaalice · 30-06-2011 9:30am

I am just wondering what other young people the same age as my daughter would do....would you stick out 2/3 months in a place where you didn't relay know anyone just to have a job

4zn76tysfajdxp · 30-06-2011 9:32am

Have you tried asking her?

Kevin Duffy · 30-06-2011 9:35am

I hate to be a grammar nazi, but could you ask her to bring back some punctuation from her travels? Thanks.

kingtut · 30-06-2011 9:35am

Stay in Ireland and get a job here. There are plenty of them despite popular believe!! Yes they are less paid than usual but they still exist! :cool:

hardCopy · 30-06-2011 9:36am

OP, if it was me I'd probably get a degree or diploma here first, maybe in another Irish city if she really wants to get away, or even college abroad

biko · 30-06-2011 9:37am

Go to UK.

mariaalice · 30-06-2011 9:37am

Of course I have asked her she flip-flops about it but deep down she does't want to go because she is just about surviving here but on the other hand should an 18year old expect their parent to fully support them when they have other options ( even if it is outside there comfort zone and a bit difficult )

RedXIV · 30-06-2011 9:41am

mariaalice wrote: »

Of course I have asked her she flip-flops about it but deep down she does't want to go because she is just about surviving here but on the other hand should an 1 8year old expect there parent to fully support them when they have other options ( even if it is outside there comfort zone and a bit difficult )

Life is difficult, you do her no favours making it easy for her.

Let her stand on her own two feet for a while.

jimthemental · 30-06-2011 9:41am

mariaalice wrote: »

Of course I have asked her she flip-flops about it but deep down she does't want to go because she is just about surviving here but on the other hand should an 1 8year old expect there parent to fully support them when they have other options ( even if it is outside there comfort zone and a bit difficult )

Give her an ultimatum. She needs to choose quickly while you may still be able to give her starting capital to move somewhere with opportunity. Also you should try to improve your posts. They're close to illegible.

yupyup7up · 30-06-2011 9:42am

does she have any responsibilities? (loans, mortgage, kids) - not saying she does just asking. if not, then definitely go for it, she has nothing to lose and could always return, its only an hours flight.

If i didnt have a job and couldnt get one, id be gone

Logical Fallacy · 30-06-2011 9:44am

mariaalice wrote: »

Of course I have asked her she flip-flops about it but deep down she does't want to go because she is just about surviving here but on the other hand should an 1 8year old expect there parent to fully support them when they have other options ( even if it is outside there comfort zone and a bit difficult )

personally i reckon you should just leave her to make her own choices any issue her parents have with her it's really up to them to chat it out with her its not really your place to try and get her to do one thing or the the other its cool that you have offered the house and all that but right now thats really all you can do i guess you said yourself deep down she doesnt want to leave so no point in trying to force the issue or she will just end up living in your house and resenting you for it in time she will fall out with her friends and end up breaking up with her boyfriend or something and she will be thinking lord i am an awful plank for not moving to the uk when i had the chance

blaze1 · 30-06-2011 9:46am

Go to the uk... It'll be a growing experience for you if you look at it that way...

Plusifyourpunctuationisbadmaybeonlyyoursistercanhelpgetyouajob:pac:

jester77 · 30-06-2011 9:47am

She's 18, not a child, so she should be able to make her own decisions. Moving over to the UK, having a job set up for her and living with her sister is not exactly difficult. Best option imo would be to go to college or get an apprenticeship in whatever it is she is interested in. At least then she will have a qualification/skill.

MungBean · 30-06-2011 9:48am

Continue education, if its not an option this year then go to UK for a few months and make a few quid. If she doesn't like it she can come back. If all her friends and bf are unemployed what's stopping them from going with her ?

mariaalice · 30-06-2011 9:48am

I offer my apologies to the grammar nuts I have several encounters with them over the years on Boards...I am not explaining again why English is not good ( IT HAS NEVER HELD MY BACK IN ANY WAY IN LIFE )

kingtut · 30-06-2011 9:49am

mariaalice wrote: »

Of course I have asked her she flip-flops about it but deep down she does't want to go because she is just about surviving here but on the other hand should an 18year old expect their parent to fully support them when they have other options ( even if it is outside there comfort zone and a bit difficult )

Are you washing her clothes, cooking for her, cleaning for her and giving her a free roof over her head etc?

If so then don't give her handouts, tell her to go get a job! Albeit a part - time one, no excuse in this day and age for her not to have one. Does she help around the house at all?

MungBean · 30-06-2011 11:33am

kingtut wrote: »

If so then don't give her handouts, tell her to go get a job! Albeit a part - time one, no excuse in this day and age for her not to have one.

Have you been living under a rock for the last few years ?

Davekoolhill · 30-06-2011 11:40am

it can never do any harm to get experience abroad.

Standard Toaster · 30-06-2011 11:43am

mariaalice wrote: »

I am just wondering what other young people the same age as my daughter would do....would you stick out 2/3 months in a place where you didn't relay know anyone just to have a job

Yes, if not longer. 2/3 months is nothing....some life experience for her too.

Davekoolhill · 30-06-2011 11:46am

It's probably a good thing for young people to travel, they then come back wiser and have more experience.

OutlawPete · 30-06-2011 11:48am

Summer Bay ftw.

who the fug · 30-06-2011 11:50am

Education first, if that is not an option then the UK, she might run back and go to college very quickly if she comes over (well I did)

fedor.2. · 30-06-2011 12:17pm

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

I hate to be a grammar nazi, but could you ask her to bring back some punctuation from her travels? Thanks.

Then don't be a grammar nazi, its old and boring. Read the charter. Thanks.

emeraldstar · 30-06-2011 1:12pm

mariaalice wrote: »

I am just wondering what other young people the same age as my daughter would do....would you stick out 2/3 months in a place where you didn't relay know anyone just to have a job

What good would two or three months be?

mariaalice wrote: »

I offer my apologies to the grammar nuts I have several encounters with them over the years on Boards...I am not explaining again why English is not good ( IT HAS NEVER HELD MY BACK IN ANY WAY IN LIFE )

But it does make it rather difficult to decipher the meaning of what you wish to say.

In answer to your question, first things first, I would go to college. For sure.

Knasher · 30-06-2011 1:27pm

Considering that she mentioned that it would only be for 2-3 months, I *think* she is just talking about a summer job.

Anyway, if it was me I'd definitely go, it isn't for that long and it's well worth the experience let alone the funds. Obviously in the end it's your daughters decision. As she is just finished her leaving a whole lot will change in her life next year in any case. So a bit of self-reliance and independence should really stand for her.

sidneykidney · 30-06-2011 1:27pm

OutlawPete wrote: »

Summer Bay ftw.

Bitch...:pac:

You beat me to it :P

kingtut · 30-06-2011 1:39pm

Skunkle wrote: »

Have you been living under a rock for the last few years ?

No I have been working hard! and there are plenty of jobs to be had, somehow I think you are the one living under a rock! :cool:

metalfest · 30-06-2011 2:36pm

Was in the exact same situation a few months back, would be finishing up college for summer.
19 years old, got a short term job in Germany.
Knew nobody, came over, met some students over here, now almost halfway thru and I'm disappointed it wasn't longer!

gtfo of the country as much as you can

Orando Broom · 30-06-2011 2:44pm

I'd hang around to repeat English in the Leaving, OP.

endabob1 · 30-06-2011 3:28pm

Take the job, no harm to be taken out of your comfort zone once in a while.
If she has applied for CAO then she hopefully has that to come back to in 2/3 months

If she hasn't applied or doesn't get what she wants, she has a job, that in your words she'd never get in Ireland and she can always apply for CAO next year or come back and repeat if that's what she really wants;

It looks to me that she has a few options and is in a better position than a lot of people, forget the friends & b/f she's 18, how many of your friends from when you were 18 are you still close to?

MungBean · 30-06-2011 5:50pm

kingtut wrote: »

No I have been working hard! and there are plenty of jobs to be had, somehow I think you are the one living under a rock! :cool:

Have you been working hard under a rock then? Oblivious to whats happening around ya ? You think theres no excuse not to have a job ? You think 450 THOUSAND people are just lazy and dont want to work despite there being plenty of jobs available in Ireland ?

Knasher · 30-06-2011 5:55pm

Skunkle wrote: »

Have you been working hard under a rock then? Oblivious to whats happening around ya ? You think theres no excuse not to have a job ? You think 450 THOUSAND people are just lazy and dont want to work despite there being plenty of jobs available in Ireland ?

There are jobs out there, unfortunately those jobs require specific skill-sets that most of the people who lost their jobs simply don't have.

waterfordgirl · 30-06-2011 5:57pm

this annoys me!! I recently finished college, during the four years I worked in a bar part time. The chances of me getting a job relevant to my degree are slim and working two nights a week wasn't going to get me anywhere (as to go to Australia etc would require a nice bit in the bank!). I got up and went into a shop and asked for a job, got an interview and am now doing 20 hours a week in a shop aswell. Where there's a will, there's a way.
"Theres no jobs" seems to be the mantra of a lazy person!!
Also, another girl I went to college with is doing a masters in September and wants to be able to contribute to the cost of it, she had a part-time job in a shop and has supplemented this also by working in a bar. There are jobs there, if your daughter wants them! I think you are just making life too easy for her!!

shannon_tek · 30-06-2011 6:01pm

Leave. Start your own life . get your two feet on the ground and come back a new you. Mature wise and employable.

If you can just leave your life behind you like myself i suggest so. we have skype and facebook and a mobile. your never far away specially if its only in England.

MungBean · 30-06-2011 6:08pm

Knasher wrote: »

There are jobs out there, unfortunately those jobs require specific skill-sets that most of the people who lost their jobs simply don't have.

Exactly, with the amount of people in search of employment the employers have their pick of very experienced people. Someone with no experience even if they have training in that area will find it hard to find work. Someone with no training and no experience in the sectors with available work will find it impossible to find work.

For someone to say that there's no excuse to be unemployed is absolutely ridiculous. As if 450 thousand people are too lazy to find work and would rather live off 180 euro a week.

nice_very · 01-07-2011 2:58am

mariaalice wrote: »

you are 18 ( a girl ) ...

the rest of the post was just a blur TBH..

Elba101 · 01-07-2011 8:57am

Leave! She'll be upset but she'll get over it and if it's only for 3-4 months then it's grand!!

Lando Griffin · 01-07-2011 9:11am

Stay and get pregnant then claim all the benifits including free house, un married mothers allowence etc. Then by the time the child ( hopefully a boy ) is 15 the economy will be going through a boom and he can start a plumbing apprenticeship and yer wan will be able to go to college for an arts degree and get all the benifits of a mature student, and she still be only 33.

Penguin xd · 01-07-2011 9:19am

if i was her i would do a fas course then continue on to college, im 19 and thats my plan. Moved out of my parents house yesterday so im halfway there. If she organises herself she will be sorted out eventually. Jobs are very hard to find without any decent past work experience.

Is a job really worth leaving her friends and fella? personally i would be happier on the dole and stay rather than leave and start all over again. Although, I have moved a lot of times (not by choice) and had to make new friends so many times that i want to settle now

Penguin xd · 01-07-2011 9:21am

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Stay and get pregnant then claim all the benifits including free house, un married mothers allowence etc. Then by the time the child ( hopefully a boy ) is 15 the economy will be going through a boom and he can start a plumbing apprenticeship and yer wan will be able to go to college for an arts degree and get all the benifits of a mature student, and she still be only 33.

That sounds very negative.

Lando Griffin · 01-07-2011 9:35am

Penguin xd wrote: »

That sounds very negative.

Not really. It ticks all the boxes.
She wants to stay.
She dosent want to spongue off her parents.
She wants to stay with her BF, although having a baby with him may scare him away.
She can still do collage.
She dont have to work.
She gets a free house and all the trimmings, medical card etc.
And she dont have to be lonely being moving half way round the world to England, and keep her friends here, maybe they could start having babys too so they would be having more things in common.

metalfest · 01-07-2011 9:39am

do people realise that the OP is NOT the girl in question?
It's her mother, we have no idea what the girl actually thinks...

home or away?

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