Confused Depressed and Need Help

floggg · 07-03-2013 8:20am

I think you need to give his parents a break here.

No, it wasn't a very good reaction but you can't judge them on how they handle it in the first weeks or even months.

Judge them on where they are in a year.

As I read somewhere before, if it takes a lot of us 20 something years to get comfortable and accept being gay, it's a bit unreasonable to expect others to get over their issues in a couple of minutes.

For now, just be there as a support. He probably needs you to be calm, reassuring and supportive rather than angry.

Give his parents a break and some time and then see what happens in a few weeks and months.

Annasopra · 07-03-2013 9:59am

Tito Man! wrote: »

there is no reason for them to behave like this to him other than they are narrow minded bigots,

There is

They might be upset
They might be angry
They might be shocked
They might be unsure of the future
They might be perhaps questioning the dreams they had of the future
They might be grieving for those dreams

If they had known this forever and expected it then perhaps their behaviour might be unexcusable.

Tito Man! · 07-03-2013 2:27pm

Hi, again.

Just to let everyone know, Billy doesn't know how angry I am. I haven't let him see me or he hasn't heard me be anything but supportive to him. He doesn't need to see me so pissed off.

And also, I know what his parents are like. They'd be decent people, but totally living in the 1950's. Maybe they'll come around, but I don't know.

I realise how I might have overreacted, but it's hard not to be totally angry and flabbergasted at it.

They do love their kids, I do know that much. So I'd hope they'll come around.

Sorry if my above post was angry and full of vitriol. I've calmed a little bit, having slept on it.

And it is all I've been doing when I've been able to. Just comforting him, and trying to talk to him. But I fear this has done real damage to his spirit, his self-esteem and his happiness. I don't think I've seen him smile or laugh since it happened. I'm trying, and I think it's slowly working, but it's still deeply upsetting to me.

Intouch9 · 08-03-2013 3:11pm

To be honest, my parents reacted in the same way and it's not nice. But over time (and trust me, it took a lot of time) they grew to accept it. It's terrible and feels horrible at the time.

As I've grown up more though, I've become more empathetic and can see where they were coming from (oddly). It'll take him a few days, but he'll realise that it's not his fault. It will get better.

08-03-2013 3:59pm

Tito Man! wrote: »

there is no reason for them to behave like this to him other than they are narrow minded bigots

Perhaps they are but hold back as nothing is for certain.

I know how much anger and hatred you feel. I have had to feel it myself and then ever since settling into my own relationship and making it a point to work with other people like gays and bis and so forth… I have seen it in many before you too.

What one has to remember is that while there is a lot of hatred and bigotry towards homosexuality in the world – there is also a lot of ignorance and fear too. Many in fact argue the former two are just what comes from expressing the latter two.

Parents mostly just want what is best for their children. They work really hard to give them everything and they have hopes and dreams and even expectations for them.

The gay life is not an easy one – and a lot of the negative reactions from parents is not due to them being bigoted or hateful – but because they are terrified of the kind of life being gay might cause you to have. Mainly because they do not know any better. Their knowledge often comes from nowhere but the media and the media does not make money with stories like “Two gays have uneventful day and are happily in love” so much as “Gay couple attacked with crow bars in homophobic hate crime”.

Ignorance and worry can have them sitting there thinking of everything from HIV/AIDS to “gay bashings” and other hate crimes.

As I said I have made it a point to get involved a lot with people in situations like yours. Often I have sat and mediated discussions between a gay son and their shocked/angry/disappointed/estranged parents. In my own rather unusual relationship – living as I do with two girls not one – I had to have the same experience directly with not just my parents but theirs too – the fathers of which clearly thought I was just some randy horn dog with no other interest but to take sexual advantage of their daughters and fulfill every males fantasy of threesome sex or what not. No words or anger or screaming or fighting was going to convince them “No really I love your daughters and they love each other and me – and this is what is right for us”.

Yes – some of the parents in those discussions I have mediated and witnessed turned out to be hateful bigots. But the vast majority broke down, tears all around, and admitted they did not hate their child – or the homosexuality – and were not angry - but they were just so _scared_ of what this would mean for their kids life. They were just terrified for their kids well being and happiness.

Fear and worry can really alter ones perception of reality and one’s reasonability and we can act in some very poor ways indeed. Read your own OP if you doubt me and see how the main issue you were worried about made you hyper-obsessive about little things to the point where one premature ejaculation made you fear there was “something wrong” with you. Fear and confusion distorts a lot and can make small issues seem large and large ones seem insurmountable.

So do not go kicking any doors in just yet. Stay true to the boy you love and make him happy. If his parents are hateful bigots – there is little you can do to change this anyway so why try – but if they are one of that larger group I have experienced and described above who just want their child to be happy – then the most effective way to make them “come around” to your relationship IS to make him happy and eventually they will see this.

In my own case I had two girl’s fathers who hated me – mothers who were just confused and despairing – and even their male relatives who wanted to kick seven shades out of me. We remained calm – we remained patient – and we were _happy_ and in the end everyone just started to realize “Hang on this isn’t just some sexually perverted fling – they are _serious_ about this – and each other – and they are happy! So what is the problem?”. And when we made them grandparents (both biological in the case of 4 of them and vicariously in the case of the other 2 with plans for 3 more kids in our future) the last of what little fear and suspicion that may have remained fell away entirely and now everyone is cool with everyone and I even get on great with the dads. Not so long ago I was even down in cork with one of them – a load of beer – and helped him build a shed.

Sorry all that was so long but the core message is: Stay true to each other and yourselves and if the parents are hateful bigots just move on as best you can – but if not then represent yourselves well – lovingly and above all happily and give them time. Do not let the anger you feel control you but redirect it into a passion to _make this relationship work_ and find new and interesting ways to _make you and he happy_. The rest – will come by itself on that journey.

Paramite Pie · 08-03-2013 8:15pm

I'm sure they'll come around eventually. I haven't told my parents yet so I'm watchin' this thread closely. I did tell my cousin (well he figured it out himself)

Also one of my aunts hinted she knows I'm gay. She asked if I had a girlfriend and when I replied 'no' she simply followed that question with did I have a boyfriend...!!

My heart skipped a beat but I casually answered 'not right now'.... she smiled and said she has an 'open mind' and that I can talk to her about these things. I rarely see her cos she lives in Donegal but it's reassuring, and if my parents struggle with this, then I'll have extended family ready to mediate.

Tito Man! · 11-03-2013 9:23pm

Hi, everyone.

Firstly, I just want to apologise for exploding on here. I was just so angry, frustrated and upset. I needed to vent. And I did. It actually helped me feel better. Thanks to everyone for the replies. They also helped an awful lot. Helped me see it in a more calm and sensible light.

Secondly, things are still very raw and sore. But there has been improvement. Billy has met up with his brothers (one is older, one is younger). They both were really supportive and apologetic over how the parents reacted. They hugged him and told him they love him. They were a bit shocked when they found out (his parents didn't tell them straight away) but they were great when they met him. That has, obviously, really improved his morale and he's been feeling a lot better.

A few days ago, he also came to me and apologised. I was shocked. I asked him why, and he said it was because he had been so upset and down and he felt bad about making me feel the same. I told him to shut up (literally!) and I think I hugged him tighter than I ever have. He has no reason to be sorry or worry about how he's making me feel. I was upset more that he felt the need to apologise than anything. The poor guy.

At least since it happened and since he talked to his brothers, he's been a lot better. We've also been able to be intimate again. It was hard for him to be intimate since what happened. He just felt so down. But just talking and cuddling up a couple of nights ago, and that problem is gone. It's amazing how much happier a quick roll in the hay can make you.

Hopefully it can get back on track soon. I hope he can get in touch with his parents and work things out. And I'm also trying to screw my own courage up to tell my folks. I think they'll be cool, if a bit stunned.

Tito Man! · 16-03-2013 1:56am

Hi, again.

Remember how someone said way back how I'm surrounded by the most amazing people and I should cherish them? They were absolutely, 100% correct. I am so lucky. I'm happy, but the following was a bit bittersweet for me after what happened with Billy.

I decided the longer I put it off, the harder it would be. I bit the bullet on Thursday night and told my parents. It wasn't just my own decision. There was some gentle pushing from my brother. Nothing insistent, just stuff along the lines of "They would want to know. They love you so much."

I was still very nervous, as is natural I suppose. But I needn't have been.

The three of us were in the sitting room of their house, just after watching some of the football with my Dad. I stammered around for a bit, beginning with telling them how much I loved them and how I hoped they loved me. I blurted out what I wanted to say and sat forward and put my head in my hands.

I just felt my Mum putting her arms around me and kissing my cheek. They hadn't said anything, but I just burst into tears. I couldn't help it. My Mum hugged me. I don't think she ever hugged me as close in her life.

My Dad's reaction was hysterical now that I look back on it. When I looked up, he was sat still peering down at his paper. My Dad is pretty old-school. He's a real "socialist" and all, but would be a traditional guy (think Jim Royle only a real hard-working go-getter and no beard). I was a little worried about what he'd think. I needn't have been.

"Dry your eyes, soft-lad. Don't get all weepy."

I laughed through the tears. He always called me and my brother 'soft-lad' in a good-natured way when we were growing up if we didn't want to do hard work or if we moaned too much. It was affectionate teasing.

I asked straight out if they were upset. Neither were. They weren't even shocked. I was puzzled, because I've had girlfriends in the past. My Mum just shrugged and said she'd always had a feeling, and she was just waiting for me to say it. Dad's opinion was that he'd known since I was 13 when I refused to play rugby. :rolleyes: Maybe his unsubtle attempts at humour were something of a coping mechanism, or maybe it was to make me feel more at ease. If it was to put me at ease, it worked. I started laughing a little through the tears.

I couldn't help but cry several more times before I went home. We talked a lot. Together and then individually. I never saw my Dad cry before in my life, but when we talked, he did. He looked at me and said words I will never forget as long as I live: "You are my son. I love you so much. I've always been proud of you. You're the best sons a father could ask for, you and your brother. Never a moment's trouble, either of you. And if you ever get a hard time over this, I'll box the ears of whoever it is gives you a hard time. You hear me?"

All I could say was "I love you, Dad" before crying again. He was never a man to show much emotion (except when watching football or rugby or something), but he showed it that night. And it helped so much.

Of course, Mum asked the typical 'mum' questions, which I answered truthfully and openly. No point in hiding anything now, was there? Of course, it all led to: "Do you have a boyfriend?" I told her yes, and I told her who it was too. That shocked her a little, as she's known Billy for years. And now, of course, she wants to meet him again. Wants a big dinner thing with all of us and to get to know him more.

It took me over an hour to leave the house from the time I said I was going. Too many happy, relieved and emotional tears, too much hugging and too many 'one more cup of tea'. When I finally drove home, I had to pull over once to call them on the phone to say goodnight and to have another bit of a cry (maybe Dad was right with the 'soft-lad' bit

).

Sorry about the long post, but I just wanted to truly emphasise what it all means. My parents are legends. They provided a wonderful, caring, loving home for me and my brother as we grew up. They always supported us and loved us. We never wanted for anything as kids. They made us the men we are. And they do all of that to this day. I'm crying a few tears here as I type this. I love them both so much, even more now.

As if that wasn't enough, I think Billy might be getting somewhere with his own parents. They called him, and while it was a bit tense, it was an improvement. They did sign off with "I love you" and so on, so that is only a positive sign. His mood also improved so much when I came home and told him what had happened with my parents.

So pretty much, yeah. Very happy out. Much as it might be a bit embarrassingly mushy, I secretly cannot wait for this dinner with me and Billy and my brother and my family. It will be sweet.

I'm signing off this and I'm walking on air. I'll be sure to check back and let you know how the dinner went.

Norderburse · 16-03-2013 9:26am

Am nearly ten years on boards (didn't revive my old username after the system issues), and this might be my favourite thread ever :-) Delighted for you OP!

Lenmeister · 16-03-2013 9:36am

Crazy story man, fair balls to ye. Also the one from taxAHcruel, I couldn't believe I was actually reading that. Remember this is great news for straight guys too, now there's more single women available

Head up and on ye go chief.

floggg · 16-03-2013 6:58pm

Lenmeister wrote: »

Crazy story man, fair balls to ye. Also the one from taxAHcruel, I couldn't believe I was actually reading that. Remember this is great news for straight guys too, now there's more single women available Head up and on ye go chief.

That's one think I've never understood about straight male homophobes - surely they should be delighted that all the best dressed and attentive men arent competing with them for girls!

Lenmeister · 17-03-2013 11:02am

floggg wrote: »

That's one think I've never understood about straight male homophobes - surely they should be delighted that all the best dressed and attentive men arent competing with them for girls!

Well excuuuuuse me, I dress very well thank you! Though maybe not as flamboyantly :P I never understood it either, I always think it's good when you hear about another person coming out. The first thing I think is great, more women available

DoctorBoo · 17-03-2013 6:49pm

Best thread ever. So happy for you both!

Walker77 · 17-03-2013 9:42pm

Hi Tito Man really happy it has worked out for you. Fair play for sticking with your fella through everything. Take care and have a long happy friendship together

floggg · 18-03-2013 12:59am

Lenmeister wrote: »

Well excuuuuuse me, I dress very well thank you! Though maybe not as flamboyantly :P I never understood it either, I always think it's good when you hear about another person coming out. The first thing I think is great, more women available

I said best, not most flamboyant! Not all of us can pull off the feather boa!

Blikes · 19-03-2013 8:03pm

Read through the whole thread, Couldn't stop smiling.
I could almost feel the emotions coming from the page.
So happy for you and Billy, Keep us updated about him and his parents, i so hope they come around soon so he can just relax, be himself and enjoy his life completely like you are doing.

PS. The two of you must be keeping the local xtravision propped up :P

PPS. Your parents are legends!

Tito Man! · 20-03-2013 3:10am

Hi again, everyone.

Thanks for everyone who's reading. And it's ironic, but one of our mutual friends said very similar things when we were talking one night. I was basically asking him if he had any problem with us or anything. He just shrugged and said that there were more girls (though he didn't say "girls") out there for straight people now. Bloody hell.

And also, I must confess, I'm a digital shoplifter. While it would be nice to be propping up Xtravision and so on, I usually find films and stuff to watch through other, grey-area means.

Just a quick update. Monday evening was when my Mum scheduled this 'big dinner' thing of hers for all of us. It was me, Billy, my brother, his wife and my parents. It was a really nice get together. There was lots of hugging and happiness. Billy was really nervous going over. Obviously my family all knew him anyway, but never in the sense of being my boyfriend! He needn't have worried. Everyone loved him anyway as he was just such a nice guy anyway.

Mum went all out and made a proper day of it. Everyone was a little hungover, but it was still wonderful. My sister-in-law (one of the most amazingly sweet, wonderful people I know) was really taken in with Billy, now that she got to meet him properly. He's pretty shy, but she got him talking and soon it was a proper family dinner going.

Before everyone left, my mum wanted to get a photo of her two "babies" and their partners. It was really a moment that got to me. She's getting the picture of the 4 of us framed to put on the wall. I don't know, it's just something about how my parents are so proud of the two of us and so happy with the partners we have and that they want a photo of the 4 of us framed in their house. It just struck me as so cool and so sweet.

If anyone hasn't noticed, I'm a pretty sensitive and emotional person. Maybe a bit too much sometimes, but that's just me. I just keep thinking how difficult and bad everything could have been, but that it has been so amazing so far. Whatever happens from here on out, I will always look back on this time with nothing but fondness.

Billy has been talking to his parents on the phone a few times. And thankfully, they seem to be coming around a bit more each time. He's going to meet up with them tomorrow, and it sounds positive. I really cannot hope more that it goes well for him. But I think it will.

We're planning a short trip away for during the summer too. We're leaning towards New York. We've never been and we both want to go. I have loads of relations over there who I haven't seen in years, so it will be good. I've also heard it's very 'gay-friendly', so that's a big plus too. It's in very early stages yet, we might end up going somewhere else. But that's just on the cards for the time being.

Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading the thread. The messages of support have helped so much. They're a little extra boost. I just find it so wonderful how everything is going and hope things can keep going in a positive direction. Anyone who has any advice or tips further, feel free to say it or to PM me. Still so novice-y at all this, so any further advice will be much appreciated.

Thank you so much for reading.

Beruthiel · 20-03-2013 11:07am

What wonderful, amazing parents you have Tito.
Billy's will also come around eventually. They just need to assimilate this new information.

floggg · 20-03-2013 2:15pm

I'm reminded of my mothers reaction when I tried to thank her for being so great about coming out - she got angry with me! She gets angry whenever she hears words like tolerance or acceptance - on her eyes there is no difference between me and my other siblings, there is nothing for her to tolerate or accept and she sees no other way that she could or would have reacted. It doesn't make the slightest difference to her if I'm gay or straight and she doesn't see why it would to anybody else.

Sounds like your parents are the same. They are reacting just how a parent should.

That's not to be critical of Billy's parents - it can be a big shock and disappointment (grand kids etc), and can take time to adjust. I'm sure they'll get there.

I guess though its important to realise nobody is doing you any favours by being fine with all this - that's just how it should be! I think for your own self worth it's important that you realise you're just as normal and deserving of respect as your straight brother (by way of example).

Hunchback · 20-03-2013 10:51pm

So cool to be so happy!

Ah, this thread is a breath of fresh air

Hunchback · 20-03-2013 10:53pm

BTW, isn't it just amazing to look back at the thread title and compare it to where you are now Tito?

Tito Man! · 26-03-2013 3:38am

Hi folks,

sorry I haven't posted in a while. Hectic weekend. Was at my brother's best friend's wedding in Cork over the weekend, so I'm very hungover and sore as I write this. Some fun stuff to update with too.

CKonetheonlyone wrote: »

BTW, isn't it just amazing to look back at the thread title and compare it to where you are now Tito?

This struck me and it is a fact. It is a real fact. When I started this thread, I was so down. I was so scared and I just didn't know what the hell was going to happen. But now. It's like a dream come true. I feel ten feet tall constantly.

Billy met up with his parents. It went really well for him. They both hugged him and said they needed time, but that they'd love him. He hasn't told them about me yet (nor have his brothers). But I'm sure unless they're totally daft that they will twig what's going on. I'm just happy for him. He came home and he was so much happier and that just made me happier.

There was also the wedding this weekend. It was my brother's best friend's wedding. My brother was the best man. I had been invited obviously. But when I replied, I had been going out with my ex. That was obviously a non-runner now. I was going to go solo, but my brother intercepted me and asked the groom if I could bring Billy.

His best friend is a great guy and a friend of mine too, but didn't know I'm gay (bi, whatever). I was a bit annoyed that my brother told him, but in the end it didn't matter. I got a phone call from him. It was basically insisting that I bring Billy! He was so nice to me and really wanted me to come down and bring Billy with me.

Naturally, both of us were a bit nervous (lots of people we didn't know and not knowing what kind of people they were). But after a bit of pleading from the brother, we drove down and brought the suits and all that.

The bride and bridesmaids were all over us, believing us to be the stereotypical "gay lads". Was quite funny and charming, if a bit tactless, but we saw it as funny. We were sitting at a lovely table with great people. Nobody cared in the least. Even when we held hands and shared the odd kiss, nobody cared. A double-take or two from some people, but they'd usually smile and not care after that.

We shared a few dances, including a couple of slow ones, and it was just brilliant. Of course, we got dances from the bride, the mother of the bride and several others. We also got spectacularly pissed (a free bar is a dangerous thing). The room we had in the hotel was also gorgeous, old-world-style room, with a huge king-sized double bed. Why would I bring up the bed, I wonder?

Wonderful, spontaneous, drunken, fun sex. I know I shouldn't bring it up (this being an "all-age" forum), but it was one of the most fun nights we ever spent together. First time we'd ever experienced anything outside our apartment too! The next day was lots of just being hungover and feeling very sorry for ourselves and laughing at the funny pictures and videos from the wedding.

For now, we're just keeping going and having fun as much as we can and I'm just being there for Billy as much as I can be until he gets the issues with his family resolved. Thanks to all again!

26-03-2013 9:36am

Lenmeister wrote: »

Also the one from taxAHcruel, I couldn't believe I was actually reading that.

Who? What? Where? What was wrong with it - I thought the advice was pretty good and useful.

26-03-2013 9:41am

Tito Man! wrote: »

Billy met up with his parents. It went really well for him. They both hugged him and said they needed time, but that they'd love him.

For now, we're just keeping going and having fun as much as we can and I'm just being there for Billy as much as I can be until he gets the issues with his family resolved. Thanks to all again!

I hope the above is a sign my advice was on the mark and that his parents do not have a problem with homosexuality per se - they just want their child to be happy - and that it is just their lack of experience and knowledge of homosexuality that is making them afraid for him - and they reacted badly to that fear.

As I said in my earlier longer post fear is a powerful thing and causes us to act wrongly and blow things out of proportion. This is what I find with the vast vast majority of the parents I have met around this issue - and therefore things just need time and always come good in the end - and it sounds/seems like this is what is happening here too.

Certainly cause to be optimistic!

Tito Man! · 29-03-2013 12:20am

Hi, again.

Just thought I'd pop on here as I have a free night and just let people hear a bit more. Billy's gone out for the night with some of our friends. I was supposed to go too. But I had a nightmare busy day in work today. I just needed to collapse and do nothing. So while Billy primmed himself up, I was sat vegetating on the sofa.

Billy asked me earlier if it was ok with me that he told his parents who his boyfriend is. He kinda sprung that on me as I was lying on bed feeling sorry for myself after work. But of course, I have no problem with it. It's going to come out eventually. And I actually think it might help him. I got along fine with his folks whenever I met them, so if they find out their "son-in-law" (:P) is a nice guy and not a user or abuser they might come around more. I hope.

There have also been some embarrassing recollections from the wedding. There is apparently a video of me belting out "Love And Marriage", and acting out certain lyrics, somewhere waiting to be uploaded. God help me.

In work, I think it's becoming a bit more apparent about me. Don't ask me how or why, but I think I've been just a little bit more, I don't know, "camp" or something lately. For someone who is a real "manly" person, it is quite noticeable. I was also very down a few months ago, and most people chalked it up to me and my girlfriend breaking up. But my colleagues are not stupid. I really think that some of them have guessed.

I'm always talking about Billy. In work, just about how we're such good friends and about how we're now flatmates. Bit naive of me, I know. But it's what I want to talk about when we talk at lunch or breaks or whatever. One of my good friends from work I think has guessed or feels pretty certain. He's always asking little questions and has a little knowing look on his face most times. He's a really cool guy and I want to tell him properly soon (maybe tomorrow or over the weekend). Nobody in work would have a problem with it at all. We're all good friends and there would be no issue, as far as I know.

It was like the wedding. Nobody cared. Some people even thought it was "cool". They wanted to talk to the "gay guys", have pictures taken with us, dance with us, etc. Sort of felt like being a circus act a little bit, but it was cool to be seen in a positive light.

We've also moved forward a little with our holiday. We now have our hearts set on New York. Looking at September. We have plenty of time to save up and make sure everything will work. So, another request to the guys and gals on here. If anyone has any info or experience with travelling in New York in terms of gay venues or anything (not general tourism, because we've enough info on that!) or places that would be of interest to gay people, please tell me! It would be much appreciated. I know the internet is a great resource, but I love hearing from people's personal experiences.

Just to close, I want to thank everyone on here again. This has been the most helpful, therapeutic and just brilliant resource for me. I just love updating on how things are going. I feel I owe it to everyone on here. This has been some journey for me so far. And all of you have been with me every step of it. And it has been so good. Thank you.

29-03-2013 2:38am

I do not think you owe anyone on here anything. I would be surprised to learn that we have not learned as much from you as you have from us. I hope you keep posting on here because you WANT to rather than you feel you owe it to us in some way. Judging by the responses to your posts so far I reckon it is US that owe something back to YOU. And I think I have seen a few names so far who would be happy to step up and pay up. Just keep being you and do not modify that "you" based on anything you might thing we want or do not want.

Dont change a thing.

Itwasntme. · 31-03-2013 1:28pm

This thread is the best thing to happen to this forum

. It's like a concentrated shot of hope straight to the vein.

Stay happy.

Beruthiel · 03-04-2013 3:07pm

Tito Man! wrote: »

I just love updating on how things are going. I feel I owe it to everyone on here. This has been some journey for me so far. And all of you have been with me every step of it. And it has been so good. Thank you.

No.
Thank you.

You've reminded us that love does indeed conquer all.
I doubt I'm the only one what got that warm, fuzzy feeling from reading through your thread.
I'm fairly sure that it has also given others hope.

Tito Man! · 03-04-2013 7:48pm

Hi, again.

Been a good few days for me and for Billy too.

I'm really happy with the support from here. I've been exchanging private messages with a few posters here. It has been most helpful. Don't want to name any names (I'd probably forget someone!), but you'll all know who you are. From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you a lot. Thanks to everyone who's been posting in the thread with advice and thoughts. It's all been taken on-board and has helped. No matter how small your piece of advice has been. It no doubt helped in some way.

Last night, we both went up to one of my best friends' apartments to watch the football and have some pizzas. He knows, but his housemate doesn't. His housemate is a really nice guy. He's from Liverpool, but we all have our problems, right?

Before the games started, his housemate was surfing the net on his laptop, obviously looking at Sickipedia or some such. He started reading out some of the jokes, and a couple were gay-bashing ones. We didn't care, because they actually were funny. Thought no more about it. My friend and his housemate went to the kitchen to make some coffee or something.

Literally 30 seconds later, his housemate comes tearing back in. He's babbling out apologies and is as red as a tomato. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know you guys were boyfriends. I'm so so sorry!" and so on. We just laughed and told him not to worry. We hadn't advertised the fact at all, nor had my friend told him (until he told him off in the kitchen!). So how was he to know. And obviously by his reaction, he's not homophobic or anything! He was so embarrassed, and never stopped apologising all night. He even texted me today to tell me how sorry he was and that he meant nothing by it. Think I could have guessed that myself.

Today, at lunchtime in work I told one of my close friends from there. We were just out having a smoke. Watching the city go by. I just said it really casual, asking him "Man, you know I'm bi, right? You know I have a boyfriend?" He laughed through his cigarette and said he'd known for a while. Thought I was gay for ages, but now he knows for sure. Gave me a hug and was happy for me. Where I work is very liberal anyway, so I don't think I'll have any problems. But this was really good as a first step for me.

Billy has been talking to his parents more and more. And it's all been positive. They're slowly growing to adjust. They might not be overly happy with the situation. But at least they're showing him that they will still love him. There's also room for acceptance too. Eventually. He told me that he was told that his parents always wanted all of their sons to start families and grandchildren and all of that. So they were a bit upset that it may not happen. They also fundamentally do not agree with homosexuality. But seeing as one of their own sons is gay/bi, I'm hoping they'll come around. And it seems to be happening.

That's all that's been going on with me anyway! Just gonna veg out on the couch watching the Champions League for the night. Over and out for now.

Conbhar · 03-04-2013 9:23pm

Ah Tito my man you have just restored my faith in love and I'm not even gay. I just came across this thread a few minutes ago and I couldn't stop reading, so many positives to take from it. Im so happy for ya mate and I just want to wish you and Billy all the best in the future.

Tainor · 03-04-2013 11:13pm

Tito Man! wrote: »

That's all that's been going on with me anyway! Just gonna veg out on the couch watching the Champions League for the night. Over and out for now.

Sheesh!!! A gay man watching football OMG...what is next, gay car mechanics!? What is this world coming to :eek: :P

*goes back to reading make-up tips and summer fashion collection

/Great to hear everything is going soooo cool between the two of you! Maybe someday you can show other people, that when you feel like you are at your worst, you find out that life shows you the best in least expected

Tito Man! · 08-04-2013 12:32am

Hi, everyone!

Funny, I find the stereotypes of gay guys funny more than anything. A few of my friends had shocked reactions when I told them. Because I don't conform to the stereotype at all (play football, love football/rugby/GAA, mad into cars and autos, listen to rock/heavy-metal constantly, etc.). One of my mates even blurted out "But you love football!" when I told him. It's like, "What does that have to do with me being gay or not?"

Though when you think about it, football is all lads running around in shorts. :P

Today, while I was off navigating my way to and from Donegal, Billy went up to his parents for dinner. And obviously for them to talk. Until he went to bed a few minutes ago, I haven't been able to shut him up! He's so happy and I've never seen him bounce about the place as much. It went really well, apparently. They have come around a lot more (so my initial apoplectic reaction is embarrassing to me now) and I think now that the initial shock has dissipated they're more open to it.

I'm so happy for him. It's put a proper spring in his step. And that will put a spring in mine. Once he's happy, I'm happy.

We both have the day off from work tomorrow, so we're going to try and do something or go somewhere.

Semi-eventful week for me as well:

My love of football came with a price on Friday night. I got accidentally on purpose kicked in the face and my nose and lip got split open. I have a lovely black eye to go with the swollen lip and nose too. It's not broken, thankfully. But it still hurt like a bitch. Still, we won 2-0. So it was half a result.

I'm also looking like I'm the presumptive for getting a promotion in work! Delighted with this. More responsibility, but it will mean more pay, better hours and something of a title! Just hope it comes through now. Will make our trip to New York a lot handier!

Thanks for reading still, and thanks for all the comments and stuff. They've been great. It makes me smile to see the replies and stuff. It's great!

Locker10a · 08-04-2013 6:03pm

Tito Man! wrote: »

Hi, everyone!

Funny, I find the stereotypes of gay guys funny more than anything. A few of my friends had shocked reactions when I told them. Because I don't conform to the stereotype at all (play football, love football/rugby/GAA, mad into cars and autos, listen to rock/heavy-metal constantly, etc.). One of my mates even blurted out "But you love football!" when I told him. It's like, "What does that have to do with me being gay or not?"

Though when you think about it, football is all lads running around in shorts. :P

Today, while I was off navigating my way to and from Donegal, Billy went up to his parents for dinner. And obviously for them to talk. Until he went to bed a few minutes ago, I haven't been able to shut him up! He's so happy and I've never seen him bounce about the place as much. It went really well, apparently. They have come around a lot more (so my initial apoplectic reaction is embarrassing to me now) and I think now that the initial shock has dissipated they're more open to it.

I'm so happy for him. It's put a proper spring in his step. And that will put a spring in mine. Once he's happy, I'm happy.

We both have the day off from work tomorrow, so we're going to try and do something or go somewhere.

Semi-eventful week for me as well:

My love of football came with a price on Friday night. I got accidentally on purpose kicked in the face and my nose and lip got split open. I have a lovely black eye to go with the swollen lip and nose too. It's not broken, thankfully. But it still hurt like a bitch. Still, we won 2-0. So it was half a result.

I'm also looking like I'm the presumptive for getting a promotion in work! Delighted with this. More responsibility, but it will mean more pay, better hours and something of a title! Just hope it comes through now. Will make our trip to New York a lot handier!

Thanks for reading still, and thanks for all the comments and stuff. They've been great. It makes me smile to see the replies and stuff. It's great!

You are blessed! If my life turns out half as good as yours il be satisfied!!! Keep on living life to the full

Tito Man! · 20-04-2013 2:25pm

Hi, everyone!

Sorry it's been so long since I posted. Just been busy and distracted. I've been swapping PM's with a few members and it's been great.

Yesterday, I got told that I'm promoted!

Officially starting the new position on Monday. I get my own office and better pay and all that, so I'm over the moon with it. Was out last night for a bit of a celebration with Billy and some of our friends and I'm paying for it today. Not as much as Billy is, though. He had to go into work this morning with a raging hangover and like 3 hours worth of sleep. Poor baby.

In terms of what's going on in life, it's still just progress, thankfully. Billy and his parents are slowly starting to get back to the level of where they were. They haven't met me yet, nor do they even know exactly who Billy's boyfriend is. I'm sure they'll suspect what's going on, but I don't want to meet up with them just yet. It might do more harm than good at this early stage. It will happen eventually. But I just want to let them get used to the idea that their son is gay/bi, before they actually meet their son's boyfriend!

My own parents are still amazing, as is my brother. Really making me and Billy feel included in everything and making us feel totally at ease and comfortable. Not overdoing it or anything, but just helping to put us at ease.

My sister-in-law is also such a wonderful person. She's currently off work as she's 8 months pregnant. She calls up to see us a lot and I love spending time with her. My brother and I are two very lucky guys to have such wonderful people in our lives. I cannot wait to see my first nephew/niece soon either. I had been asked to be godfather months ago, so it'll be extra special for me!

But what really makes it is how she's taken a real shine to Billy. They get along so well and she always tells me what a sweet guy he is and to "hold onto him" (I intend to!).

The advice and support I've been getting in PM's has been excellent and has covered the stuff I couldn't really talk about here (18+ rated stuff some of it! :P). But everything's going well there too.

Thanks again, and apologies for the gap! For now, I'm going to feel sorry for myself and keep pumping the coffee in, waiting for my darling hungover to come home.

Rick_ · 23-04-2013 3:58pm

Am I the only one who is insanely jealous of these two?!

Best of luck to the two of you, I hope one day I can find someone who makes me as happy (and vice versa) as you two seem to. (Lucky sods!)

Tito Man! · 29-04-2013 10:21pm

Paddy C wrote: »

Am I the only one who is insanely jealous of these two?!

Best of luck to the two of you, I hope one day I can find someone who makes me as happy (and vice versa) as you two seem to. (Lucky sods!)

Aw, thanks!

No need to be jealous, there's someone for everyone. I was just so incredibly flukey with what happened. I still wake up some mornings and lie in bed staring at the ceiling. Still not quite believing what has happened. Still getting used to the happiness and the brilliance of it.

Was also just reading through the thread, and I just want to say that I love posting in it. I love reading through the responses and that it is a pleasure to let people know what's going on and how things are progressing. My only regret is that it's getting so sporadic of late. Just been so busy and occupied with work. But this is something I love doing and thanks to everyone who keeps reading!

With regards how Billy is getting on with his family, it's still going really well. They're in contact every day and it's always warm and positive now. There's no ill feeling any more. Every time they talk, he's a lot happier. His brothers have been immense as well. They're really fighting a corner for him. They're always in touch with him too. It's really helping him.

My own parents are still being brilliant, if a little embarrassing at times. As modern and liberal as they are, there are still some generation gaps. Like my mum asking me if I was "being careful" when I was with Billy (in an intimate way). I responded with the embarrassed-teenager wail of "Muuu-uum!!!". At least I know she feels comfortable enough to embarrass her 27 year old son by asking if he uses protection (when he has a boyfriend).

Our friends have been brilliant throughout too. If a little tactless at times. But in a nice, innocent way. A couple our friends was up with us for the night over the weekend for football and a few drinks. Of course we talked about everything. The topic of me and Billy came up. One of our friends, pissed and in a really loud mood, says "You know, it's weird seeing you two together. It's ****ing brilliant, don't get me wrong. You two were made for each other. But it's so weird for me. I love you guys."

As I said, tactless. I didn't know what to make of it, so I laughed. But he meant it in the best possible way. He just couldn't articulate it.

The big question now for us, and we've talked about it endlessly, when will I go and meet Billy's parents. I'm very nervous about it, but Billy says they're really coming around. I want to leave it for a while. Billy is hoping it will be sooner rather than later. I don't want to upset him, but I won't feel comfortable for a while, especially given how I don't know how they'll react to me. But I'm sure that it's needless fear. I hope.

That said, next week, we're going to book our holiday away! We've settled on New York for a week. We're going to go in September. We're going to book the time off work and get saving up and book the flights and hotel next week. So if anyone knows of any really cool and/or gay-friendly hotels in New York, please, please, PLEASE let me know ASAP! We're really looking forward to it. I can't wait. It'll just be the two of us, for a week, in one of the most amazing and brilliant cities in the world. It will be so good. I really and truly cannot wait for this.

Closing off, thanks again. Feel free to message me or to talk about anything. Still going well, still loving it. Thanks for reading!

Tito Man! · 13-05-2013 12:11am

Hey, everyone.

Jesus, it's been nearly 2 weeks since I last posted in here. Time's flying. It really is.

Billy's parents are more or less totally comfortable and happy now with him. It's really returned to a state of normality between them. There's no awkwardness or anything when they talk and he's so much happier now. We're still skirting the issue of when they will meet me for the first time as his boyfriend, but I have a feeling it will be soon. He's really wanting it to happen, as he thinks it will go well. Fingers crossed it does.

A few more of our friends have been told by us or have found out about us in the past while. Some of them were absolutely stunned, but each and every one of them has been amazing and supportive.

We're all booked for our holiday! We're both so excited and counting off the days until we get to go. Going for a week in the middle of September. We've both booked the time off work and we're both starting to put some money aside so we can have a proper time of it. Seriously cannot wait! It's going to be so good. I can feel it!

I'm loving my new position in work, too. It's a lot more responsibility, but it's a good place and I get plenty of benefits-in-kind from it. It's a great thing when you love your work!

I also want to give major props to two Gardaí who were on duty on O'Connell Street last night. Me and Billy were out with a large group of friends for a birthday. We were all a little drunk and merry. We all left the pub and went to O'Connell Street to get some food and a taxi. The two of us got kind of separated from the rest of the group and we were sitting down waiting for a free taxi. We were not going over the top with the PDA's at all. I think it was one kiss maybe and holding hands. But of course, that's all the ammo some guys need. Two guys started hassling us. The usual "f*ckin q*eers/f*ggots" and acting all hostile. One of them threw a half finished milkshake at us, but it missed.

I was really worried that this was going to escalate. But before it did, the two Gardaí appeared and really put it up to the two lads. While one of them was reading the two idiots the riot act and threatening them with arrest for discrimination, the other one was asking us if we were ok and he actually hailed us our taxi. We were a bit too stunned to thank them and we were gone in the taxi before anything else happened.

Two absolute legends. I'd love to find out who they were to thank them so much. It could easily have ended up in a much worse situation. Billy was a bit upset by it when it hit him what had happened. But as I said, it was just two stupid idiots with too much drink on board and the Gardaí did their job so well and it all ended ok. It was a horrible thing to happen, especially as we were having such a good night up to that point, but we were saved by two eagle-eyed Gardaí who knew we were doing nobody any harm. It reaffirmed my faith in humanity somewhat.

I hope everyone else is keeping good! Thanks again for reading and keep the faith! Feel free to message me or whatever. I can't promise I'll reply straight away, but I will reply!

Be safe, everyone!

Tito

floggg · 13-05-2013 10:37am

Tito Man! wrote: »

Hey, everyone.

Jesus, it's been nearly 2 weeks since I last posted in here. Time's flying. It really is.

Billy's parents are more or less totally comfortable and happy now with him. It's really returned to a state of normality between them. There's no awkwardness or anything when they talk and he's so much happier now. We're still skirting the issue of when they will meet me for the first time as his boyfriend, but I have a feeling it will be soon. He's really wanting it to happen, as he thinks it will go well. Fingers crossed it does.

A few more of our friends have been told by us or have found out about us in the past while. Some of them were absolutely stunned, but each and every one of them has been amazing and supportive.

We're all booked for our holiday! We're both so excited and counting off the days until we get to go. Going for a week in the middle of September. We've both booked the time off work and we're both starting to put some money aside so we can have a proper time of it. Seriously cannot wait! It's going to be so good. I can feel it!

I'm loving my new position in work, too. It's a lot more responsibility, but it's a good place and I get plenty of benefits-in-kind from it. It's a great thing when you love your work!

I also want to give major props to two Gardaí who were on duty on O'Connell Street last night. Me and Billy were out with a large group of friends for a birthday. We were all a little drunk and merry. We all left the pub and went to O'Connell Street to get some food and a taxi. The two of us got kind of separated from the rest of the group and we were sitting down waiting for a free taxi. We were not going over the top with the PDA's at all. I think it was one kiss maybe and holding hands. But of course, that's all the ammo some guys need. Two guys started hassling us. The usual "f*ckin q*eers/f*ggots" and acting all hostile. One of them threw a half finished milkshake at us, but it missed.

I was really worried that this was going to escalate. But before it did, the two Gardaí appeared and really put it up to the two lads. While one of them was reading the two idiots the riot act and threatening them with arrest for discrimination, the other one was asking us if we were ok and he actually hailed us our taxi. We were a bit too stunned to thank them and we were gone in the taxi before anything else happened.

Two absolute legends. I'd love to find out who they were to thank them so much. It could easily have ended up in a much worse situation. Billy was a bit upset by it when it hit him what had happened. But as I said, it was just two stupid idiots with too much drink on board and the Gardaí did their job so well and it all ended ok. It was a horrible thing to happen, especially as we were having such a good night up to that point, but we were saved by two eagle-eyed Gardaí who knew we were doing nobody any harm. It reaffirmed my faith in humanity somewhat.

I hope everyone else is keeping good! Thanks again for reading and keep the faith! Feel free to message me or whatever. I can't promise I'll reply straight away, but I will reply!

Be safe, everyone!

Tito

That's pretty shot to hear about those two idiots on the street. Hopefully you don't let it bother you.

I have to admit I do tend to be a bit open with my bf in public, and maybe more so than he is comfortable with at times. Nothing too x rated but I like to kiss him hello and goodbye and hold hands when we are together.

Obviously I am conscious of my location (I'm less inclined to do it north of the Liffey to be honest) but I haven't really had any bad reaction - save for a cowardly taxi driver who waited till we paid and tipped him before driving off and shouting something out of the car.

As much as I like to think I'm defiant in the face of such ignorance, I wouldn't like to find myself in that situation with no Gardaí around.

I guess I know why my boyfriend isn't so comfortable with it!!

We're off to Easten Europe in a few weeks and I think I will need to check my inclination towards affection there. We're staying in hostels so I hope we don't get any **** for being two guys sharing a bed in a cheap run down polish hostel.

Locker10a · 14-05-2013 12:14am

floggg wrote: »

That's pretty shot to hear about those two idiots on the street. Hopefully you don't let it bother you.

I have to admit I do tend to be a bit open with my bf in public, and maybe more so than he is comfortable with at times. Nothing too x rated but I like to kiss him hello and goodbye and hold hands when we are together.

Obviously I am conscious of my location (I'm less inclined to do it north of the Liffey to be honest) but I haven't really had any bad reaction - save for a cowardly taxi driver who waited till we paid and tipped him before driving off and shouting something out of the car.

As much as I like to think I'm defiant in the face of such ignorance, I wouldn't like to find myself in that situation with no Gardaí around.

I guess I know why my boyfriend isn't so comfortable with it!!

We're off to Easten Europe in a few weeks and I think I will need to check my inclination towards affection there. We're staying in hostels so I hope we don't get any **** for being two guys sharing a bed in a cheap run down polish hostel.

Enjoy your travels, but do keep in mind alot of Eastern Europe is still very conservative and Poland is still a strong catholic country. Just bear it in mind! I wouldnt push the boundaries too much!

Beruthiel · 15-05-2013 11:35am

Tito Man! wrote: »

But before it did, the two Gardaí appeared and really put it up to the two lads. While one of them was reading the two idiots the riot act and threatening them with arrest for discrimination, the other one was asking us if we were ok and he actually hailed us our taxi.

I am so delighted to hear that!

There are assholes everywhere, don't dwell on their behaviour towards you.

Tito Man! · 26-05-2013 2:20pm

Hi, everyone.

Some week I've had. Seriously brilliant week.

On Thursday just gone, my little nephew was born.

I got a call from my mum in work just after 11 to say my sister in law was in labour, and it was for real this time. There have been 2 "scares" in the past fortnight. But this time it was the real thing.

My boss let me leave straight away to go to the hospital. Apologies to anyone I might nearly have clipped with the car while racing there. Went around a corner on 2 wheels at one point I think.

After a few hours of nervous waiting, we got to see him. The most beautiful little baby boy ever. Couldn't help but tear up when I held him for the first time. Of course, my brother was in ribbons. He's the happiest man in the world right now. I'm so happy for him and I'm so proud. Both baby and mother are doing really well. 6lbs 8oz for anyone who might be wondering.

Billy wasn't able to get out of work until later on in the day. He was still able to come up and visit. He's just as delighted and was in his element cooing and holding the baby.

Of course, my mum and dad were over the moon at their first grandchild. And my sister-in-law's parents were delighted too. Everyone is just positively delighted and so happy with this little guy. I've never seen a more peaceful and content newborn. Of course, I'm top of the list of babysitters, allegedly.

I'm just the proudest and happiest uncle on the planet at the moment. And this little guy is going to be the most loved, well looked after and nurtured little boy on the planet. So many people are going to be there for him when he's growing up. I've already staked claim to be the one who spoils him absolutely rotten.

Everyone else can be the bad guy.

Everyone in my family is just buzzing at the moment. I don't think I've ever seen my mum and dad so happy. Everyone is just walking on air at the moment. It's so great. Happy happy happy!

playedalive · 26-05-2013 7:33pm

Wow dude, just had a proper look at your thread, it has just given me hope that things will get better. For a while, I've been struggling a fair bit with my sexuality. Defining it for me is a bit of nightmare. Realistically, I'm probably gay. But, I do find women the odd time attractive. Maybe my problem is trying to work it out in my head too much and not just accept that I like who I like.

It's nice to see that things work out in the end.

Andy-Pandy · 26-05-2013 10:16pm

I do love a good love story. Congrats on finding love, and congrats on being an uncle.

metamorphosis · 27-05-2013 3:52pm

This thread is all kinds of awesome.

Thanks for continuing to share.

number10a · 02-06-2013 2:38pm

I've become a bit of a shadow on Boards lately, sometimes going weeks without logging on, when it used to be every few hours in the past. But it's this thread that keeps me coming back.

Congratulations Tito!!

Tito Man! · 16-06-2013 12:53am

Hi, everyone.

Sorry about being away for so long. Life has a way of doing that, right?

Anyway, just so nervous at the moment. Tomorrow, after I've had lunch with my own family for Father's Day, I'll be going over to Billy's parents' house to meet them for the first time since all this happened.

I'm still so nervous. I'm alone tonight for a bit (Billy's gone to the cinema with some friends of his from his work and they're getting a drink or two after). I've spent the last 2 hours or so trying different shirt and tie combinations for tomorrow, running through everything in my head. I've only been making myself worse. A few minutes ago, my hands were shaking so badly I couldn't even tie the knot in the tie I was going to try. I know it will go fine. But I'm still nervous and I'm sure it will be a bit awkward at first.

A friend of mine who's a florist is going to do me a special bouquet lilly flowers for Billy's mum and I've gotten a bottle of Midleton for Billy's dad. It's not going to be anything as formal as a dinner or anything. I'm told it's just going to be coffee and having a chat and meeting up. I'm still putting so much emphasis on it, I'm making myself so nervous.

I know it will go fine, but I just worry excessively sometimes. Fingers crossed!

As for everything else, my nephew now has a name!

They've called him Adam. He's still the cutest little thing ever. I just get a big smile on my face every time I think of him. I try to see him as often as I can. I don't want to be alone babysitting him just yet (I wouldn't have a clue what to do in an emergency or anything), so for the first few times I'm going to babysit, my mum is going to come with me.

First time babysitting will be next week, to let my brother and sister in law go out for a little while and have a break.

In about a month, it's Billy's birthday.

I have been working on small plans, but have no idea what to get him as his main present. I've been toying with some notions but really have no concrete idea. Seeing as it's the first birthday after we got together, I want to try and make it a little special.

Thanks again to everyone. I'll keep you all posted as to how tomorrow goes!

Norderburse · 16-06-2013 10:05am

Good luck Tito Man! Am sure all will go fine

Tito Man! · 17-06-2013 11:06pm

Hi, everyone. I'm meant to be doing some reports up for work, but I've finished them, so I'm just dossing about and said I'd let everyone know how yesterday went.

It went well. I have to say. I was so nervous and really felt like I was going to be under a microscope. It was actually a lot easier than I thought.

I got a handshake from both of his parents, and they liked the presents I brought for them. We talked a bit, but I found myself a lot more tongue-tied than I usually am.

His folks were honest about the whole thing. They are still not thrilled with the situation. But they're coming around more and more. They're seeing how happy Billy is now. They also know that I'm a good guy. They know that I make Billy happy. They know that Billy makes me happy. They seem to know that we make each other happy. They finally seem to accept that once Billy is happy, that is all that should matter to them.

I also put in an effort to make sure I presented myself well. Whenever I previously had contact with Billy's parents, I was in my usual "uniform" when I'm not in work. That would be a hoodie/football-jersey/rugby-jersey, jeans and runners. Last night, I had on a proper suit, shirt, tie and proper patent leather shoes. Maybe it was a bit overboard, but I wanted to make a good "first impression". Despite the fact that they've known me for years.

I guess it could have gone a bit better. But it could have gone so much worse. I don't think I'll be on their Christmas card list or anything. But I think they're happy enough with me being Billy's boyfriend.

For something I put so much stock into, it was something of an anti-climax. But that said, I'm happy that it is one more major hurdle done.

I met his brothers during that time too, and had a couple of minutes to talk to his older brother. He was much more open. I got a hug from him. He was happy to see me again, and even suggested meeting up for a drink or two soon. Was happy with that.

All in all, I was happy with how things went. Billy is very happy that I've finally gone to meet his parents. He didn't stop hugging me and thanking me all night! Though he did slag me all night over wearing the suit and being more quiet than usual.

Happy, very happy, at the moment!

Norderburse · 18-06-2013 8:08am

Fair play, a major hurdle cleared - delighted it went well :-)

Tito Man! · 30-06-2013 3:57pm

Hi, everyone.

I've been swapping PM's with a few people, and it's been excellent. Getting help and trying to give it too! Thanks to everyone, too. Everyone is just so happy and lovely on here. Well most of the time.

It's been a grand couple of weeks too. Billy's parents have been in touch more often, and I think they're warming to me. They've realised I think that I'm not going to hurt Billy. I think they also see how in love we are. No point in being nasty about it. Which is good.

I met up with his older brother (he's just a little bit older than I am, ironically) for a drink earlier in the week. We just talked about everything. He was always a really sound, decent guy. He still is. We never really got to know each other well before this. So I suppose no time like the present. I asked him if he had any genuine problems with me going out with his younger brother. He didn't, other than just wanting me not to hurt him. Don't think that's likely to happen, in fairness!

I went to see a bit of Pride yesterday, too! I was pretty nervous. I had no idea what to expect. I had to go into the office yesterday for a bit, so I was in a work suit and had my briefcase with me. Probably looked a bit out of place. But it was great fun. Talked to a few people up there. Enjoyed talking with people and had a bit of a laugh. I was just gutted that Billy couldn't come up. He was in work. Next year I really want to go with him. And have a proper day of it. I only got to experience a couple of hours of it. Next year I will do it properly!

I'm also delighted that our holiday fund is well up there now! Still looking around the internet for places to go to in New York and for all the places to see. I have a couple of cousins and friends over there. We will have plenty of things to do. We're counting the days off. I seriously cannot wait for it.

Thanks again! Be safe and be happy.

Confused Depressed and Need Help

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