Deleting Grindr, Tinder, etc?

AdoptedDub22 · 25-10-2014 11:01am #1

Hey all,

I have made the long over due decision to delete all my online dating apps (Grindr, Hornet, Tinder, etc), as I am sick of the vanity, attitude and sex driven prerogatives of the people that I have chatted on it. I think Grindr, in particular, is a real confidence shatterer and I always just feel like pure sh¨t when I'm on it. Note: I am not saying that everyone on these apps is like this...this has just been my experiences of it with those fortunate few I have chatted

I just feel I need to get off and meet people the old traditional way.. maybe through some social groups or something? So here's my question for ye? I'm 22, recently out and have very few gay friends? What should I do? Stay on these apps in the hopes I might meet some sound friends and more...or could anyone recommend any social groups for people around my age? I'm a very outgoing guy and would be interested in most things

Any ideas so folks? Thanks

Chunners · 25-10-2014 1:01pm

I see from your name that you are from dublin so have you not tried going to Outhouse? (can't post links yet but it is on Caple street so just google it and you'll find it) they have a few different activities that you could join if you wanted to meet more people, you can find them on facebook too which is probably safe to assume you also use if you use Grindr, Hornet and Tinder lol.

Good luck

Annasopra · 25-10-2014 1:48pm

What sort of social groups?

General? Sports? Music? Politics? Movies? Books? Anything else?

BonnieSituation · 25-10-2014 4:16pm

There's a board meet up coming soon.

Incidentally deleting all the apos was the greatest thing ever. Absolutely delighted feeling afterwards.

AdoptedDub22 · 25-10-2014 5:27pm

Thanks for the replies folks

Yeah it was some feeling deleting them alright! I feel lost without on my phone...so my will power is seriously being tested

I saw that there is a boards meeting on November 8th/9th and I/d definitely be interested in going to that. I stuck my name down on the list on the thread. Joeytheparrot.. I'm really general to be honest/ not too fussy...so anything to do with music, sport, film would interest me. I registered with the wet & wild group there this morning. Would anyone have any experience participating in the group?

Ash885 · 25-10-2014 5:49pm

Anytime I delete Tinder and the like I find myself redownloading them. Which is tragic, I know. But with the likes of Tinder and that a tough skin and perserve with happiness does help; hey if I'm on it for a chat and a date somehow maybe someone else is too? ^^

playedalive · 26-10-2014 12:54am

For me, I think if you're lonely (and being gay and totally new to expressing your sexuality makes this valid), apps like grindr and the likes are not great. They can make you a little more desperate and more into wanting to meet someone and connect with people. I definitely felt this way. I think grindr is a mindfield and you need to go into it with an open mind. Being terribly frank, for me, Grindr was good for being intimate with guys but it was always a little disappointing when nothing much came out of it (even though I knew it was only ever going to be NSA). I think it's the exception rather than the rule that anything substantial will come from it.

Having said that, making friends and meeting a partner takes time and it only happens when you least expect it. But it helps to be in certain circles like LGBT friendly networks. Definitely look into the meet ups, they were great for me when I was coming to terms with being gay. Best of luck.

esposito · 26-10-2014 1:39pm

playedalive wrote: »

For me, I think if you're lonely (and being gay and totally new to expressing your sexuality makes this valid), apps like grindr and the likes are not great.

Totally agree with this and I'm sure many others will relate to this.

Grindr actually makes me feel like s**t when i'm usually on it. Generally it is not the answer if you're looking for a relationship and I'm speaking from experience.

Most guys I met up with seemed to be only up for a date/ sex and after that they didn't want to know you. It's really pathetic when you think about it.

BonnieSituation · 26-10-2014 2:00pm

I redownloaded grindr last night! GAH!

Caiseoipe19 · 26-10-2014 2:10pm

esposito wrote: »

Totally agree with this and I'm sure many others will relate to this.

Grindr actually makes me feel like s**t when i'm usually on it. Generally it is not the answer if you're looking for a relationship and I'm speaking from experience.

Most guys I met up with seemed to be only up for a date/ sex and after that they didn't want to know you. It's really pathetic when you think about it.

Why is it pathetic that the people on a hook-up app are looking for hook-ups rather than relationships? Because that's just what Grindr is...a hook-up app.

Ash885 · 26-10-2014 3:10pm

Caiseoipe19 wrote: »

Why is it pathetic that the people on a hook-up app are looking for hook-ups rather than relationships? Because that's just what Grindr is...a hook-up app.

I think that's a very fair point. For the most part Grindr does exactly what it says on the tin. Yes there's a small glimmer of hope of more but really I think other apps are a little bit more realible than it.

Tinder is actually good fun I think, you get to see the person, excitement if ye match (devastation when you don't), but it's a bit more focused on chatting.

Daith · 28-10-2014 10:19am

Caiseoipe19 wrote: »

Why is it pathetic that the people on a hook-up app are looking for hook-ups rather than relationships? Because that's just what Grindr is...a hook-up app.

Agreed. Nobody seems to have any issue with people going out every weekend and having one night stands.

There is an element of it being "clinical" I guess. There's something about being on a night out and clicking with someone and things happens. Arranging a hookup isn't for me but I don't judge anyone.

Deleting Grindr, Tinder, etc?

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