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Sex Buddy wants to do me bareback

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    *every* young man who engages in unprotected sex knows the health risk,

    Actually recent studies from America have demonstrated shockingly high levels of ignorance in young gay men about HIV, . I'd be beyond surprised if the same wasn't true here or perhaps even worse.
    and almost all do it consciously.

    Eh... considering the state of sobriety a lot of people engage in sex, in, I don't know how accurate that statement is.
    Nobody needs a discussion forum to discover the fact that HIV transmission is strongly associated with unprotected anal sex.

    Perhaps not, but they may need to be reminded, certainly it can't hurt.
    People are far too quick to judge others online.

    True but to be frank most of what has been posted is just stern warnings to get tested and avoid future risky behaviour. Seems reasonable to me.
    I might give-out to my male friends who have unprotected sex, because I personally know and care about them. But some reactions here seem to be more matronly, or carpingly judgmental towards both parties, for the sake of it. He didn't take the advice, OK, but there's no need to take it as a personal insult.

    Are people taking it as a personal insult or are they simply disappointed that another member of our community may now be at risk of HIV and 'becoming another statistic'
    OP, please rethink this for your own and your partner's welfare.

    Agreed. 100% Agreed.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    A test might not show up the virus yet. But if you're at all concerned you should get a PEP shot within the first 72hrs after the incident.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,104 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    *every* young man who engages in unprotected sex knows the health risk, and almost all do it consciously.

    Any research to back that up or prove it?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 435 ✭✭diograis


    As a young gay man I am genuinely horrified reading this, wish I hadn't.

    My god :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    diograis wrote: »
    As a young gay man I am genuinely horrified reading this, wish I hadn't.

    My god :(

    Don't be horrified. Be smart, be safe.

    Between Pep, Truvada and of course condoms the future will be better.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,366 ✭✭✭ninty9er


    azezil wrote: »
    A test might not show up the virus yet. But if you're at all concerned you should get a PEP shot within the first 72hrs after the incident.

    Better hope you're in the UK or Ireland. Despite most people thinking we have a developing world health system, try having a condom split overseas and you'd be appalled by the lack of medical knowledge, and thereafter availability of PEP after doing all the legwork for the doctor.


  • Registered Users Posts: 138 ✭✭WILL NEVER LOG OFF


    Any research to back that up or prove it?
    let me re-phrase it. the amount of men who engage in unprotected sex AND are unaware of HIV risk is so small as to be statistically insignificant.

    Or do you really believe the OP needed you guys to tell him about HIV?

    I have personal opinions about the OP's behaviour , but i don't think attacking him on a bulletin board is likely to bring him round to my viewpoint , dont you agree?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,104 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    let me re-phrase it. the amount of men who engage in unprotected sex AND are unaware of HIV risk is so small as to be statistically insignificant.

    Or do you really believe the OP needed you guys to tell him about HIV?

    I have personal opinions about the OP's behaviour , but i don't think attacking him on a bulletin board is likely to bring him round to my viewpoint , dont you agree?

    I dont think the op was attacked tbh. In particular you seemed to suggest he was attacked after he came back. He wasn't.

    I think everyone has some tiny knowledge about HIV and STIs. The question is how much knowledge. I personally find a lot of younger people shockingly ignorant of the risks. The rise of HIV amongst men who have sex with men in Ireland tells that story.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭Mongfinder General


    The question for the OP now is - Will he have unprotected sex with another man other than his buddy?


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 212 ✭✭Rotunda Shill


    From someone that is HIV+ do not go down that road.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    The question for the OP now is - Will he have unprotected sex with another man other than his buddy?



    Hi Everyone here on this thread OP here with update Thanks for all the posts you guys have offered. Yeah i only had sex the onetime without a condom and only with my buddy who tops me Mongfinder your question would i have unprotected with another guy? the answer would be no i wouldn't. tbh it really wasnt any different than using a condom But my buddy says its much more intense for the top to unprotected I'm in mid 30s and buddy is early 40s both living in dublin

    Once again thanks all for your posts
    Cheers


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2 Ebrola


    Hey op I hope it was worth the aids! ****in lol

    Mod note; This troll is banned


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 766 ✭✭✭Mr.Frame


    Mongfinder your question would i have unprotected with another guy? the answer would be no i wouldn't. tbh it really wasnt any different than using a condom But my buddy says its much more intense for the top to unprotected I'm in mid 30s and buddy is early 40s both living in dublin

    Once again thanks all for your posts
    Cheers

    Well it is different, you are exposing yourself to possible STDs.
    Incredible to think that both of you are "mature" and yet have unprotected sex.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,104 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Hi Everyone here on this thread OP here with update Thanks for all the posts you guys have offered. Yeah i only had sex the onetime without a condom and only with my buddy who tops me Mongfinder your question would i have unprotected with another guy? the answer would be no i wouldn't. tbh it really wasnt any different than using a condom But my buddy says its much more intense for the top to unprotected I'm in mid 30s and buddy is early 40s both living in dublin

    Once again thanks all for your posts
    Cheers

    The thing is though it seems the guy you are having sex with, also does bareback with other guys. Thats the real problem here.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 766 ✭✭✭Mr.Frame


    The thing is though it seems the guy you are having sex with also does bareback with other guys.

    Nail on the head Joey.
    Isn't that the reason why no matter what ,if you (anyone) is going to have sex always always use protection,unless you are in a committed relationship and BOTH of you have been tested


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    It seems that teenagers/students are given out to most about having unsafe sex. Yet here we have 35-45 yo's at it. How many people over 30 have been given formal sex education? Older people need to get their acts together, especially these older gay men who seem to go through a reckless "but I was in the closet in my twenties" phase of sexual promiscuity when they finally do come out. You're not making up for lost time by having unsafe sex. In fact you're risking it to be the exact opposite. I don't know why I'm so up in arms about this. Cop on.


  • Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    Aard wrote: »
    It seems that teenagers/students are given out to most about having unsafe sex. Yet here we have 35-45 yo's at it. How many people over 30 have been given formal sex education? Older people need to get their acts together, especially these older gay men who seem to go through a reckless "but I was in the closet in my twenties" phase of sexual promiscuity when they finally do come out. You're not making up for lost time by having unsafe sex. In fact you're risking it to be the exact opposite. I don't know why I'm so up in arms about this. Cop on.

    Thank God someone said this. I've been feeling this way aplentiful when I see threads like this pop up on this forum and I'm tired of it. Using the "gay phase" as an excuse for some sort of fulfilment to instinct. This kind of behaviour feeds the archaic notion gay people are promisicious. And what's worse is making a thread and choosing to ignore the sound advice solely because it contradicts your urges.

    It's just baffling...


  • Registered Users Posts: 48 mnlad


    ive been following this thread and originally though the op was a young lad maybe 18/19, im in a commited realationship over 2 years, were 27/28 got tested shortly after we met all clear but we always use condoms it doesnt lesson the experience in my opinion were both versatile and with soo many close fit ultra thin etc its no excuse , what puts me off is getting something rather nasty into the wee tube for want of a medical term if going bareback, but all you have to do is go onto xtube and see videos "anon cumdump" i cant get over these people


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