How do I get married on a shoestring budget??

WannaBbride · 15-10-2014 10:42am #1

As my user name suggests we really want to get married but we just don’t have the funds or the means to save for a big traditional wedding and we also don’t want a big traditional wedding!

I’m really hoping for some good ideas and suggestions from other people who have gotten married recently on a serious budget, as in less than €5,000, preferably less than €3,000, or if you have attended a wedding where the couple kept it low key. Where did you have it? How did you keep the costs down? What did you cut out?

Guest list would be around 50 people for a civil ceremony.

I think the venue is the hardest part. If you look up small weddings you get “boutique weddings” and that seems to translate to “expensive small wedding”. A restaurant, converted barn, nice smaller function room would be great or somewhere you can have a bbq area?? I like the look of the outdoor Mount Druid place but it’s so expensive so that’s not an option and I also really don’t want to have a reception in a pub.

With nieces & nephews and our own two, there will be 10 kids under 10 so we have to keep that in mind also. We’re not interested in a band, first dance, top table, speeches, cake cutting etc so if you have any suggestions of something else in lieu to add to the day that would be great. We will be cutting all corners I can think of.

I love the idea of just having a man with guitar for the music and dj for later on, has anyone done or seen that at another wedding? I’ve actually never been to a civil ceremony so if you have been to one could you describe it for me and what the couple did?

Any ideas and suggestions you have would be great. Thanks in advance 

MsBubbles · 15-10-2014 10:47am

Hi WannaBride,
We got married last month in The Schoolhouse Hotel in Ballsbridge we had 35 at the civil ceremony and 55 at the meal including wine it cost under €3,500,
they cater for small weddings.

PM me if you have any questions

pwurple · 15-10-2014 11:35am

Civil ceremony in the registry office - 200 euro
That's all that's actually required to get married. Everything else is extras.

Maybe off for nice bbq in a big pub with a playground afterwards.
~20 quid a head.

Done.

WannaBbride · 15-10-2014 1:42pm

thanks pwurple. We have talked about just doing it with 2 witnesses but at the end of the day we both want some sort of do with all our friends and family there. I will be cutting out as much extras as I can. Have you any suggestions of nice pubs that would cater for weddings?? I kinda ruled pubs out as I dont want it to turn into a massive all day drinking session, would prefer it to revolve around eating rather than drinking if that makes sense. I'm not a big drinker.

Milly33 · 15-10-2014 2:19pm

Congrats to you and he!! Sounds like ye have a nice plan about what ye would like.. And have to say I defo think ye can do things on a budget you would be amazed..

As you say the hardest thing is probably finding a venue that would cater, cant say I know of any places in Dublin but if you were going down the route of having lets say a small reg office wedding and then all meeting in a place to celebrate take a look at bars or clubs that have small function rooms you would be surprised.

With regards to all else, I think one major thing is to get an idea of what ye would like the two of ye write them down and then see what ye can work with..
These wedding fairs and all that I cant say I have much faith in them it is all business and they show you all these bling ideas that you think wow id love that and then go wait a min sure it is mad spending that much on something people might not even notice.

DIY and recycle is the key from what I can gather.. If you are anyway handy I would think you are sorted for decorations and invites.. I found this place JJ's House seem to be very well priced for invites and they print them in all. I haven't got them yet but will be ordering some I would think at the end of the month so if you would like to know how they look I can come back to you.

Another place was vistaprint keep an eye on their deals, sometimes they do free offers. A friend of ours got fab invites that were magnets went perfectly on the fridge and they paid shipping so around €10 for 100 invites me thinks it was..

Kids you should start collecting things like kinder eggs even if tis just the toys, kids love them... Think of fun cheap things...
Call into a local €2 euro shop and pick up some items. Girls you could get some princess things so they could dress up.. Or involve them in things ye would like to do maybe have them through some confetti or get them involved somehow with everyone, even ask them to go around and take some pictures of the guests for you

Re music, guitar man sounds lovely went to one wedding and they had it which was really nice and just chilled, band came on then and ruined it all..

Just keep thinking on the level and you will be fine..

WannaBbride · 15-10-2014 2:36pm

Thanks Milly33, some great tips there. I plan to do as much DIY as I can. It would be great if you could tell me how your invitations turn out, thanks for that. Pinterest has great ideas for invitations and decorations for tables and what not.

Great idea to start collecting things for kids, just have to make sure I hide it well, I can imagine my two discovering a big bag of treasures otherwise!!

We haven't even set a date yet, my other half thinks its impossible to have a budget wedding. Hes afraid people will see us as cheapskates if we cut all corners yet he doesnt want a traditional wedding either?!

I don't care what people think as its about us and not them! I have to kinda come up with a loose plan to prove to him it can be done before we pick a definite date.

Keep the ideas coming, Im getting inspired!

fits · 15-10-2014 2:56pm

Well like you we wanted a non-traditional wedding, and I would say we are half way there. Having many bereavements in the family recently I saw the value of having aunts and uncles there... so we are at 85 adults and 15 children now.

We did up a very detailed budget and it still adds up to megabucks though. So I would recommend you do that asap.

We aren't spending money on flowers or cake. Future MIL is doing those. I am getting friends to do band/dj, but still have to pay them.
Check out ghost dye to order dresses. I tried some on and they are very nice for 300 euro or so. In the end, I wanted silk so not going with that option.

You could rent out some sort of hall and get caterers in to do buffet or BBQ style meal.

Getting the registrar to do it is the cheapest option by far.

A2LUE42 · 15-10-2014 2:57pm

WannaBbride wrote: »

Thanks Milly33, some great tips there. I plan to do as much DIY as I can. It would be great if you could tell me how your invitations turn out, thanks for that. Pinterest has great ideas for invitations and decorations for tables and what not.

Great idea to start collecting things for kids, just have to make sure I hide it well, I can imagine my two discovering a big bag of treasures otherwise!!

We haven't even set a date yet, my other half thinks its impossible to have a budget wedding. Hes afraid people will see us as cheapskates if we cut all corners yet he doesnt want a traditional wedding either?!

I don't care what people think as its about us and not them! I have to kinda come up with a loose plan to prove to him it can be done before we pick a definite date.

Keep the ideas coming, Im getting inspired!

Do you have a breakdown of what your spend could be?

Does your €5000 include engagement and wedding rings, dresses etc. or is that the budget for everything?

If you do an excel sheet and put all possible expenses on it. Then go through the list and see what you actually want and what you would regard as frills.

Good example list is here

I have just done a very rough strike-through on some things that you could take out, but what anyone takes out depends on their own preferences. Some would have a photographer as a key component, where as others would just like someone to take some photos. It really depends on what you see as important.
Where I excluded music for ceremony, you could not have a band/musician playing live music for the ceremony, but could play a CD instead.

Legals & Other Prep
Civil wedding fees
Church pre-marriage course
Invitations

Clothes
Brides dress
Brides shoes
Brides other accessories
Bridesmaids dresses
Bridesmaids accessories
Grooms suit
Groomsmen suits
Outfit for day after
Clothes alterations

Jewellery
Wedding rings
Other jewellery

Hair and beauty
Hair trials
Make up trials
Hair on wedding day
Make up on wedding day

Reception
Welcome drinks
Meal
Drinks during the meal
Wedding cake
Drinks for the evening/open bar
Afters refreshments

Flowers
Brides & bridemaids bouquet
Other bouquets
Table decorations
Church/venue decorations
Other flowers

Other services
Photography
Videography
Band
DJ
Ceremony music
Celebrant/church donation
Wedding planner
Wedding car/transport

Honeymoon
Flights
Accomodation
VISAs
Vaccinations
Other

Costs can be reduced/saved by doing things a little differently.
Church costs, travel costs, pre-marriage course and some other costs can be removed/minimised by having a civil/humanist service in a venue that can cater for the ceremony and the party/celebration. There is a cost associated with this also.

At the end of the day, the wedding can be done for €220. Everything more than that doesn't make you any more married.

RobbieTheRobber · 15-10-2014 3:08pm

WannaBbride wrote: »

As my user name suggests we really want to get married but we just don’t have the funds or the means to save for a big traditional wedding and we also don’t want a big traditional wedding!

I’m really hoping for some good ideas and suggestions from other people who have gotten married recently on a serious budget, as in less than €5,000, preferably less than €3,000, or if you have attended a wedding where the couple kept it low key. Where did you have it? How did you keep the costs down? What did you cut out?

Guest list would be around 50 people for a civil ceremony.

I think the venue is the hardest part. If you look up small weddings you get “boutique weddings” and that seems to translate to “expensive small wedding”. A restaurant, converted barn, nice smaller function room would be great or somewhere you can have a bbq area?? I like the look of the outdoor Mount Druid place but it’s so expensive so that’s not an option and I also really don’t want to have a reception in a pub.

With nieces & nephews and our own two, there will be 10 kids under 10 so we have to keep that in mind also. We’re not interested in a band, first dance, top table, speeches, cake cutting etc so if you have any suggestions of something else in lieu to add to the day that would be great. We will be cutting all corners I can think of.

I love the idea of just having a man with guitar for the music and dj for later on, has anyone done or seen that at another wedding? I’ve actually never been to a civil ceremony so if you have been to one could you describe it for me and what the couple did?

Any ideas and suggestions you have would be great. Thanks in advance 

Seeing as all the things you cut were all the things I cut, I went with a small wedding in a small venue. So no space for a band or dancing.
http://lapeniche.ie/
We invited 40 people and had it on la peniche, restaurant on a barge.
I used the onboard sound system and my laptop for music (created playlists and used an iphone as a remote)

I would have to dig out the price list docs but overall our wedding came in well under 5 grand for 40 guests including a coach for the guests from the registry office in dublin (which is a beautiful venue) a car for my wife, photographer, canapes, dinner and a prosecco reception.

clint_silver · 15-10-2014 3:08pm

the marriage bit as said is 220e.
the day itself where you have 50 people is where the money is. You need some things. A venue. Food. Entertainment of some sort.

I was at a friends wedding last year that was run at very short notice and very low budget where he got local pub to do their carvery, pub said 10e a head. Around 100 people. done a deal with pub @750e for the lot. food was great, people could go up for more if they wanted.
Dj 250e for the night. Music was great.
she got a dress off donedeal. 100e. He wore one of his own suits. got a new pair of shoes. 40e.
Rings were 60e.
no favours. no frills. no flowers. noone noticed.
Friends done photos. Package holiday honeymoon. week in lanzarote. 400e each. everyone remembers a great night. its the people that are there that make the day. dont ever forget that. enjoy the honeymoon. If youve a budget of 3k. youll get the day in for 1000-1200 following above format. spend the rest on the honeymoon.

Milly33 · 15-10-2014 4:08pm

So it can be done from all these reports...

It again all comes back to what ye want to do yerselfs.. Haha I can imagine the kids spying a bag of goodies, in our house tis me hiding them on myself so I wont start playing or using them..

Games are great to keep everyone entertained. Just found this fun one which would be good for adult and kids http://ohhappyday.com/2011/04/diy-party-confetti-egg-game/

Another one was don't be afraid to ask friends to help, if they don't want to you will tell straight away and those who do will be there with bells on.. It isn't the worst thing in the world to ask for things like the cake and that if you know someone who can make it to give that as a gift...

I will let you know what happens with the invites, hopefully ill have them by next month although we aren't until next August

I have to do something to keep me occupied.

I don't think anyone would think ye are being cheapskates but not going the traditional route, would think the opposite they would be happy for a change..

An Bhanríon · 15-10-2014 4:17pm

I can't advise you on venues as I looked mostly at hotels. Don't discount a pub, though. Some pubs are very nice!

Off the top of my head, here are a few ways we have saved money (we didn't do all of these to save money, though. A lot was stuff we wanted to do!):
No bridesmaids / best man (having mothers as witnesses and family doing readings and helping out with various tasks on the day)
No cake
No photographer (will hopefully get some nice photos from guests, but if we don't we're not sentimental)
My dress is from a line of bridesmaids dresses. I just got it in ivory. You can order a bridesmaids dress in load and loads of colours. (Other option is to get a second hand dress - the second hand dresses I saw were all in good condition.)
The only flowers we are having is my bouquet and button hole - no pew ends, table decorations, etc. The church is lovely and needs no flowers, and the hotel will provide flowers for the dinner tables.
Did invitation ourselves - I have access to a printer at work and a very understanding boss who let me just give a contribution for the ink! Got paper in arts supply place off Abbey Street in Dublin (Evans, I think). Making up the invitations took a bit of time but made them really personal.
No hired car - we will use a family members car.

The main thing, though, is to write down every single expenditure as you go along. If you buy paper for your invitations, you write that down; if you buy envelopes, you write it down; if you buy six extra stamps for your invitations, you write that down; if you buy a piece of ribbon to go on the car, you write it down - EVERYTHING!!!! (If not, you will be wondering where €500 suddenly went - I kid you not, it's very easy to get carried away buying lots of 'little' things!)

Sit down with your fiancé and decide between you what you really want to have for your wedding day. See if you can get that with your budget. If not, sit down again and reassess. Keep the discussion calm and cool and you will work out something that will make it the best day you will ever have. And a day your guests will remember fondly too. The best weddings I have been at have been the ones without all the fancy bits. They were the ones where the company was good, the food was good and the music was good.

emzibob · 16-10-2014 10:14am

I planned my mam and dad's wedding a couple of years ago .. (long story finally got hitched after 33 years or so!) anyway I did the whole thing for about 4500 euro,
married in registry office really nice ceremony with family involved my nieces were flower girls, personal songs etc.
hotel reception in the Skylon hotel in Dublin, we used their restaurant which is a really nice room so not much decoration needed ( a few balloons did the trick)they did a two course meal for about 16 euro a head and we used the cake as dessert which the hotel served with tea and coffee for free. We had a great dj for the night and my uncle took the photos. Flowers from a local florist for my mam 2 flower girls and 2 butonholes and a corsage came in at about 220euro, rings, outfits for all( new suit for dad, dress and accessories for mam, 2 flower girl dresses and a bridesmaids dress) a toast for 80 guests all included. So it can be done you just have to be smart about it I designed the invites myself bought blank cards and printed them at home etc. All in all everyone had a brilliant day got compliments on what a great relaxed wedding it was for months afterwards and no one was any the wiser it was done on a budget!
Best of luck with your big day don't let cost put you off picking a date just do up your budget, stick to it, and enjoy!:D

Neyite · 16-10-2014 11:52am

You can get a great deal if you approach a nice small restaurant who are willing to open up earlier in the day to give you sole use, and because they don't have to turn down their normal bookings.

I know someone who booked their meal for 4pm after a 2pm ceremony, they were finished the meal by 6.30 and across the road to a nice bar that had an outdoor area for the kids. Because their venue normally opened at 7pm they got an amazing feed for €40 a head.

az2wp0sye65487 · 16-10-2014 2:16pm

Hi WannaBbride.

Just got married recently myself.

Did something similar to what you're looking for...

Civil ceremony - 40 people (incl. myself and wife) - just immediate family & a few close friends.
Lunch in a nearby restaurant (which seats 42 people - so we were given the run of the place for the afternoon)

We splashed out on an evening 'party' for more guests, more food etc, and we also splashed out on things such as fancy transport on the day for everyone, invitations, extra refreshments, food & drink, entertainment, rings / suit & dress etc.... so we ended up spending more than €5K

but if we were on a tight budget we could have done it for around €5K if we needed to.

PM me if you want a full description of everything.

P.S. we've had a lot of comments from different guests saying that it was one of the better, more enjoyable weddings that they have been to - so I think it went well. We enjoyed ourselves anyway!

pwurple · 16-10-2014 2:25pm

WannaBbride wrote: »

thanks pwurple. We have talked about just doing it with 2 witnesses but at the end of the day we both want some sort of do with all our friends and family there. I will be cutting out as much extras as I can. Have you any suggestions of nice pubs that would cater for weddings?? I kinda ruled pubs out as I dont want it to turn into a massive all day drinking session, would prefer it to revolve around eating rather than drinking if that makes sense. I'm not a big drinker.

You have a reasonable budget there for a party in fairness. For 50 people, I think you can start looking at corporate party places.

For example, I think the clariion penhouse suite in cork is ~1k for the night, and they are used to parties in it. I've been to a work thing there, there were around 65 of us. It's got a stunning view, and you've got a fab honeymoon suite for the night, and the restaurant downstairs will bring up fingerfood, or do a bbq for you on the terrace, if you give them a budget.

so, say from your 3k, you take 200 for legal, 200 for dress for you, 200 for suiting kids and hubbie to be (keep it second-hand, it can be done!).

That leaves 2400. I'll give you 400 for decorations & invites.
So, either a restuarant for 50 people, food and drinks budget 40 per person. You'll get a lot for that!

Or, 1k for posher more private venue, leaving you with 20 euro per head. That will run to cocktails and fingerfood, or wine/beer with bbq.

WannaBbride · 16-10-2014 9:01pm

Thanks everyone for the great advice and suggestions. So it definitely can be done!

Off the top of my head I know I can do without; bridesmaids, bestman/groomsman, fancy flowers, a band, live music for the ceremony, an ott cake.

I think I can/will ask my folks to gift us a half decent photographer, my sisters could get outfits for the kids, my sister inlaw can make the cake, my brother has a swish car that I can arrive in if needs be.

I can make invitations, decorations for the venue & tables. Actually two of my sister inlaws are amazing at sewing and making crafty things, I could get them to make stuff for me if needs be. I can get a preloved dress or look in the charity shop wedding shops. I can do my own playlist for the ceremony & during dinner and just have a dj for later in the evening.

I feel like I have a starting point now and can do my own spreadsheet of what needs to be done as any of the standard handy wedding checklists you see don't really apply to my situation. I will defo keep a tally of all costs.

I need to start making a list of potential venues and go look at them really or get a rough estimate of cost.

We are hoping to get officially engaged next year, we haven't bothered yet as we know the first question people will ask is, have you set a date yet. So now we should be able to!

fits · 16-10-2014 10:05pm

WannaBbride wrote: »

Off the top of my head I know I can do without; bridesmaids, bestman/groomsman, fancy flowers, a band, live music for the ceremony, an ott cake.

!

We are doing without best man, groomsman, and just one bridesmaid, no flowers except bouquet. No car.
We do have band and live music for ceremony, done by friends, so mates rates.

Even cutting back on all this, the costs still appear mad to me

but we didn't pick a cheap venue. And we have to bring wine and pay corkage. its easy to see how the price can rocket when you start adding it up.

az2wp0sye65487 · 16-10-2014 10:23pm

We had a friend make our cake. And she did a brilliant job. We didn't have bridesmaids or groomsmen and no maid of honour or best man either. No need for them IMO

Gatica · 17-10-2014 8:45am

OP, you're doing well to cut out all the typical trimmings. No one notices the car, the cake-cutting is often just a gimmick and most guests don't notice when it comes out at mid-night... Just find a place that will do you a set meal for a standard set-price and let you use their sound system with your own music player. DIY everything yourself and start collecting anything you want to use for decorations.

Milly33 · 17-10-2014 11:32am

Well done see ye are half way there. Think finding a venue is the hardest thing one that first all, But don't be afraid to ask them to lower prices (not that much haggling is there) but don't be afraid to question anything and look at a few..

Great to hear the sis in laws are creative there is so much you can make yourself, so handy to have them.. Flowers go into the garden and pick them on the morning into a nice hand tied bouquet and you are sorted..

With the photo incase tis of any interest a friend of ours got this lady €500 for well the church and afters for a while and loverly snaps https://www.facebook.com/beritalits?fref=ts

niallb · 17-10-2014 1:21pm

We did everything we could ourselves and loved it. It was ten years ago, so prices aren't as relevant as more recent weddings,
but you might see some ideas you could go for. Our budget was nearer to €10,000 but we had over 200 guests including kids.
That budget also included a short honeymoon in Paris.

We didn't use a photographer at all.
We had a laptop set up with a card reader and cables and asked people with digital cameras to copy over the pictures they had taken during the day before they left. Got some amazing pictures from different places, and it captured the day from the point of view of the people who were there. This was before people used their phones for most photos, so the quality might have been a bit better than you'd get now for the evening pictures anyway.
A friend with a really nice car drove my beautiful bride to the registry office and then filmed the ceremony on our own camera.

We had the wedding at home in a marquee from Pelican Promotions who provided carpets, tables, chairs, tablecloths, glasses, plates, cutlery and chandeliers and put us in touch with someone to provide anything we needed. We made an arrangement with a publican in the village to bring his off license down for the night and we built a bar in our garage. He brought down three pumps, and was thrilled when he discovered he had to send for more kegs before 11 o'clock.
He also kept prices far closer to pub rates than to hotel rates. We're in the country, and another neighbour opened a field across the road from us and let the guests use it as a carpark. That was fantastic because there was no public transport. We'd arranged a ferry service with a local minibus driver for getting people without cars in and out, but that's not something most people would have to worry about.

My father in law is a chef which helped! We wanted him to cater the wedding anyway, and this was what got us thinking about having it at home, as it's hard to get a venue to agree to let you use an outside chef. He arrived up a few days early and we cooked all the food ourselves in our own kitchen.
Food was served as a sit down buffet, so no waiting staff needed and everyone got to choose what they liked best.
2 o'clock in the morning the night before the wedding, we were icing our own cake.

The band were some friends of ours, and they did us a good rate and were fantastic.
We let some of the guests who are in to music know there would be slots to DJ in after the band,
and it ended up with a few bringing a laptop and taking an hour or so each until sunrise.

As other people have said here, costs go mad when you mention Wedding.
We got stung by a windowcleaner who wanted €200 for doing the windows the day before the wedding!

clint_silver · 17-10-2014 3:42pm

We got stung by a windowcleaner who wanted €200 for doing the windows the day before the wedding!

Cue a load of posts.....

"you dont need a pro window cleaner, we had friends who knew how to clean windows and they did it for us as a wedding favour. "
or
"I got a wedding window cleaner from china at a fraction of the cost off the internet, all the guests said they were the cleanest windows theyed ever seen"

Gatling · 17-10-2014 3:47pm

We're doing a civil ceremony and reception in a local hotel with sit down meal for 50 for €3100 that includes finger foods and a dj for 4.5 hours for the afters .
Rest of the budget went on the dress, flowers and suits .
5k is very doable just takes a little vision and some negotiations

WannaBbride · 21-10-2014 8:52am

Thanks again everyone for your tips & ideas!

mel.b · 21-10-2014 9:02am

A friend got married last year i think. They had a humanist ceremony by the beach and then rented (for want of a better word) the local cafe/bar overlooking the beach for the reception who put on a bbq. The venue had never done it before but you wouldn't have known it and it was a great night.

WannaBbride · 21-10-2014 9:19am

Mel.b - that sounds amazing, so laid back.

How do I get married on a shoestring budget??

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