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How do Nurses deal with patient's erections?

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Comments

  • #52
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    Had a mate that got a boner while having a medical for a job, with a local female GP.

    This could be bull****, we always slagged him that it was, but he was adamant that it was true.

    So apparently, she was examining him and he got hard, she got a small little metal hammer and tapped the base of his cock, just where the scrotum begins, and straight away it just went down -- "like air out of a tyre" -- and then she just smiled and said: "Don't be embarrassed, it's quite common for that to happen, it's the warm hands that do it".

    He swears that happened :confused:


  • #53
    gurramok
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,992 ✭✭✭✭gurramok


    How is slapping on the lap by the female nurses suppose to ahem reduce the blood pressure down under?

    I'd thought it would of pre-empted an unavoidable explosion like Krakatoa?!


  • #54
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    OutlawPete wrote: »
    Had a mate that got a boner while having a medical for a job, with a local female GP.

    This could be bull****, we always slagged him that it was, but he was adamant that it was true.

    So apparently, she was examining him and he got hard, she got a small little metal hammer and tapped the base of his cock, just where the scrotum begins, and straight away it just went down -- "like air out of a tyre" -- and then she just smiled and said: "Don't be embarrassed, it's quite common for that to happen, it's the warm hands that do it".

    He swears that happened :confused:

    What kind of job means that you get felt up by a nurse before you start?

    (Have jobs.ie on standby on my 2nd tab)


  • #55
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,408 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    Worked as a health care assitant and a nursing student in hospitals and nursing homes and I never encountered this and never heard anyone say that they had either. Bit of a myth I'm afraid, boys.

    Outlaw, Dr.s don't keep little metal willy hammers about their person, just in case. Your mate was definitely lying. He should stick to "Carry On" movies.


  • #56
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    Sardonicat wrote: »
    Worked as a health care assitant and a nursing student in hospitals and nursing homes and I encountered this every day. It happened so often, I often had to call a second nurse in to help.

    Oh, Matron!


  • #57
    gurramok
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,992 ✭✭✭✭gurramok


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    Oh, Matron!

    Behave yourself, matrons went out with the Indians!


  • #58
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    vibe666 wrote: »
    i guess it just depends what gets you going.

    my sister works in nursing homes for people with mental disabilities and she has lots of stories about that kind of thing, but pretty much nothing fazes her at this stage and plenty of stuff she has to deal with would shock most people.

    Dimentia is looking so much more able to deal with now if it happens!


  • #59
    Mr Benevolent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    Latchy wrote: »
    It was quite common in hospitals for the porters ( pre-op ) to be called upon to shave the male patients down there so unintended erections were usually in the minority .

    What about the post-op porters?


  • #60
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    SeaFields wrote: »
    Remember those stiffy's you'd get in school. Staring at a hot teachers arse all class. I bet she knew too. Ah the memories.

    /wipes tear

    rubbing my hands on my thighs was a dead give away though


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  • #61
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    (Have jobs.ie on standby on my 2nd tab)

    Crane driver, from what I remember :)


  • #62
    chirogirl
    Registered Users Posts: 227 ✭✭chirogirl


    A friend of mine worked on in a nursing home on the Isle of Man. Some of the female nursing staff there were from the filipino. A few of them ended up getting deported back for providing some of the old fellas extra services, for money of course. They got found out when a visiting relative of one of the residients walked in on an incident.


  • #63
    wellboy76
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 691 ✭✭✭wellboy76


    chirogirl wrote: »
    A friend of mine worked on in a nursing home on the Isle of Man. Some of the female nursing staff there were from the filipino. A few of them ended up getting deported back for providing some of the old fellas extra services, for money of course. They got found out when a visiting relative of one of the residients walked in on an incident.

    So some of them do love you long time :D


  • #64
    chirogirl
    Registered Users Posts: 227 ✭✭chirogirl


    :D


  • #65
    Russian Blue
    Closed Accounts Posts: 137 ✭✭Russian Blue


    Veterinary nurses get humped on regardless, whether they like it or not. The dogs just go for it.


  • #66
    Pookah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 544 ✭✭✭Pookah


    Russian Blue wrote: »
    Veterinary nurses get humped on regardless, whether they like it or not. The dogs just go for it.

    That's it. Next time I'm ill, I'm heading to the vets to get looked after.


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  • #67
    Russian Blue
    Closed Accounts Posts: 137 ✭✭Russian Blue


    Pookah wrote: »
    That's it. Next time I'm ill, I'm heading to the vets to get looked after.

    Remember, they can castrate you too.


  • #68
    Pookah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 544 ✭✭✭Pookah


    Russian Blue wrote: »
    Remember, they can castrate you too.

    Oh. :(

    Hospital it is, then.

    The nurses whack the head of your knob with a spoon, to discourage any unwarranted attention, is what I believe happens.


  • #69
    Poor Uncle Tom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,546 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    vibe666 wrote: »
    my stepdad told me a story from when he was in his 20's and exactly that had happened to him when a pretty nurse had been examining him.

    he wasn't quite sure what to do about it, but the matron had poked her head behind the curtain and seen his problem and came marching in with a cotton wool ball dipped in ether and just tapped the end of his lad with it and he said that it disappeared instantly.

    not sure if they still do it or not, but it was apparently very effective at solving the problem. :)

    Part of Paul & Debbie's repertoire I believe...


  • #70
    wellboy76
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 691 ✭✭✭wellboy76


    Pookah wrote: »
    Oh. :(

    Hospital it is, then.

    The nurses whack the head of your knob with a spoon, to discourage any unwarranted attention, is what I believe happens.

    KINKY! :D


  • #71
    EverEvolving
    Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭EverEvolving


    Quandary wrote: »
    Well AH,

    while his fingers were in me

    Diagnosis, done and dusted.


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  • #72
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    Sardonicat wrote: »
    Worked as a health care assitant and a nursing student in hospitals and nursing homes and I never encountered this and never heard anyone say that they had either. Bit of a myth I'm afraid, boys.

    Outlaw, Dr.s don't keep little metal willy hammers about their person, just in case. Your mate was definitely lying. He should stick to "Carry On" movies.
    Maybe it only happens to the pretty ladies?


  • #73
    wellboy76
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 691 ✭✭✭wellboy76


    BBBBBBBBBAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


  • #74
    snappieT
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭snappieT


    Fortunately, I've never had a bone when a nurse/doctor was around (though I've worried about it).

    Unfortunately, I had a nice wet dream in a hospital bed - 7 others in the ward, I hope I was quiet...


  • #75
    vibe666
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,016 ✭✭✭✭vibe666


    Saila wrote: »
    Dimentia is looking so much more able to deal with now if it happens!
    she said they had one guy who they just couldn't keep the clothes on who would wander round the place in the nip and at full mast any chance he got and was a big fan of waving it around at anyone who got close enough.

    she also told me about an old lady who was fond of taking a dump in the night, but wouldn't get out of bed to do it, so she used to pinch a loaf into her hand and then wrap it in tissue and pop it in the bedside drawer for someone to take care of in the morning.

    she's told me heaps of stories, but for some reason my brain has blocked most of them out. :o

    i'll ask her if she has any more good ones if people want me to share. :)
    Poor Uncle Tom wrote: »
    Part of Paul & Debbie's repertoire I believe...
    now that's magic! :D


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