Massive issue with childminder

LegacyUser · 06-07-2012 12:31pm #1

I have 2 beautiful children, aged 3.5 and 1 year. Both girls. Both my husband and I work full time. When I had my first child I wanted to put her in with a lovely childminder locally who has great feed back and a number of my friends use and love her . She is HSE reg and very into Arts & crafts. Goes the extra mile with the kids. Keeps records and stays within the HSE guidlines on numbers.

My husbands sister also minds kids, always has to many in my view and not a great service. I had my child booked in with the first lady long before my little girl was born as I wanted to be sure I would get a place.

When my little girl arrived, the family took it that my sister in law would be minding my daughter, when I said I had arranged a childminder, holy hell broke out. It was all out war.
My husbnd didn't want the rows and made it very clear he was happy with his sister minding our little girl. In the end I couldn't cope with it and went along with it. I was never very happy with it. Everytime I spoke to her about something I was not happy with world war 3 broke out within the family. Like when she was left in a dirty napy to long and got a sore bum, i was told she didnt have the time to be just running after my child LWTF?? Or when I asked did she change the sheets on the cot after each child, she laughted at me and told me I was reared far from clean sheets every 5 minutes and to cop. I then had my Mother in law on the phone to me in work giving out about ho I had upset her daughter who really does so much for me and how could I. My husband would also get it as well.

My sister in law is not trained, no insurance and not HSE reg. She has 8 small kids most days and a nuumber of after school kids. The house is dirty and the smell would knock you down, the kids are all snotty nosed and dirty looking, very few toys to suit the age groups. In fact she and the place is totally unsuitable. No safetyat all, no toys i the garden but a old swing and somef ootballs.

My husband really does not want a big fall out and take the its grand line, to be honest it is totally not what I want. I feel it is not good for the kids and I want the best for them. My 3.5 year old hates it and crys every morning which breaks my heart.

She also charges far more than any other provider in the area. Most are 30 to 35 euro per day with all food included and a 10% discount for a second child. We are charged 40 euro a day per child and NO discount. Thats 400 euro a week for a service that is awful. The first thing I do when I get home each night is bath the girls as they are flithy and give them dinner, which is a joke as I have to take in a cooked dinner for each child every day along with shopping from a list that my sister in law gives me on a friday and the food MUST arrive on Monday morning with the children (for teas, snacks etc) today the list was 2 tins of beans, loaf of bread, 2lts Milk, bag of apple, punnet strawberries, grapes, rich tea biscuits, 12 eggs, pack of ham, cheese, 6 yogurts, rice cakes and a bag of treats. At least 20 euro more each week. To be honest I would not mind if the service was good and my children got to eat some of this stuff. My 3.5 year old tells me my sister in law, her husband and own kids eat this and that the dinners I take in are fed to her kids and she gets a sandwich. I have said this to my sister in law and she said my child was lying, it causes war in the family. My husband said he didnt believe she would do that, I am not so sure and the fact the kids are starving when they get home. All the other parents get a shopping list as well. It feels like we are doing her family shop for her and the list changes week by week.

I had hoped to move the kids when my little lady starts her free pre school year in Sept and was going to say that it would be far handier for me to have both in the same place but she got in before me and said she had arranged for my Mother in law to drop the kids (my daughter and others starting free year) to the play school and pick up. She also made it clear fees would be staying the same. Again if I was happy I would not have a issue with that. Plus my MIl only has a small car and seats are going to be a issue.

Anyway it all came to a hed on Monday when a little boy who is just over 2 fell and got a really bad cut on his head, he ended up in hospital over night and got 7 stitches. She said he was sitting on her knee when she was reading a story to the kids and he leaned forward and fell onto the side of the coffee table. My 3.5year old told me that My sister in law was in the sitting room with the door closed watching tv and the kids where in the kitchen with no adult and the little boy climed up onto the kitchen table and fell off. To be honest I believe her. My husband claims his sister would never leave the kids alone. Knowing her form I would believe she would.

Anyway myself and my husband had a big row over it and he dos not want to fall out with them but after a lot of me pushing agrees that they would better someplace else but is not perpared to move them and cause "upset" to his Sister and Mother.

Anyway I feel I can't and won't have the kids in that place any longer so this morning I rang the HSE pre school inspector who is going to call this afternoon, the HSA who are also going to call and the revenue as she does not pay any tax. I am not doing it to be a bitch but I can see no other way, husband wont move the kids, she is not fit to mind children and my kids have to come first and the only way I can move them is if she is closed down.

I dropped mine at 9-30am this morning and she had 8 under 4 and 5 school aged kids plus 3 of her own. It was like a zoo.

I can't tell my husband what I did or it will cause hell and I feel bad. Was I wrong? I know the parents of the child who got hurt are going to get the blame and I feel relly bad about this and also about lying to my husband but to be honest I feel he needs toman up and stand up to his family. I have been bullied by them all over childcare and it has to end. I am only sorry I didnt do it before.

I am sitting here in work feeling sick as a dog and worried as hell.

Did I do the right thing and what would you have done?

Squiggler · 06-07-2012 12:51pm

I don't think you did the wrong thing. From your post you are paying too much for a very poor service and have been bullied into doing so by your husband and his family.

I am shocked that your husband would put his mother and sister above his wife and children. In your shoes I'd be walking.

liliq · 06-07-2012 12:52pm

Squiggler wrote: »

I don't think you did the wrong thing. From your post you are paying too much for a very poor service and have been bullied into doing so by your husband and his family.

I am shocked that your husband would put his mother and sister above his wife and children. In your shoes I'd be walking.

100% what Squiggler says.
I really think your husband should be putting your kids welfare over the feelings of his sister in law. I'm sure she'd get over it if you just took the kids out of her care.

stargazer 68 · 06-07-2012 12:57pm

Your husband won't move your children from her care? So YOU MOVE THEM!! You aren't happy with them staying there - I wouldnt be either - but yet you are letting him dictate that they stay there so as not to upset his sister!

Seriously OP stand up for yourself and the welfare of your children.

Scarlet42 · 06-07-2012 12:58pm

Good for you .. you must think about your kids and nothing else .. they are your priority

scully74 · 06-07-2012 1:02pm

You'e done the right thing, what if the child that pulled a boiling pot or kettle down on its self, if your husband can't see this is child abuse (minor but abuse all the same) tell him to get his head out of his arse

cynder · 06-07-2012 1:04pm

You did the right thing, good for you. Have. A sugary tea to calm the nerves, and act shocked when you learn the hse has paid her a visit....

I hope she doesn't find your post on boards.... You might need to edit it....

tinkerbell · 06-07-2012 1:06pm

good god OP, your kids are in a hell environment. Get them out of there, I don't care what your husband thinks - he sounds like an absolute idiot that he is happy to let his kids be in that unsafe environment just because he doesn't wanna cause friction with his mother and sister. Well tbh to hell with them, he should be putting you and his children as his first priority. If I were in our shoes, i would be telling him you've had enough of this crap and you are deciding where they will be minded. You've given his nutso sister enough time to prove herself and she keeps failing, so I would be taking them out of that situation. Your husband needs to get a sense of reality too.

uck51js9zml2yt · 06-07-2012 1:29pm

Congratulations Op.
You did your kids and other parents kids a favour by reporting her..and probably your sister in law in the long run before something really serious happens a kid in her care
There is legislation in place for a reason and she chose to ignore it as does your husband.

You may never be able to say anything to anyone about the phone call and you will probably have to deny it if you get asked and don't want a row.

But as a parent you did the right thing. Just be careful how you react when it gets said to you about the visit from the authorities.

GarIT · 06-07-2012 1:31pm

If it was me I'd move them somewhere else and tell the husband you'll look for a divorce if he can't man up about it. I'd also own up about calling, tell them what they were doing was illegal and to sue you if they have a problem.

Your sister is doing f all, taking in €1,600 per week and not paying tax, what you did was right.

Abi · 06-07-2012 1:35pm

Absolutely did the right thing. You might still be in the line up for the blame for it though, so prepare yourself.

I would not have stood for the bullying and interference you got from his family. You've raised so many concerns about his sisters idea of child care and the cleanliness, if it was not a relatative do you think you and your husband would have the girls there? Damn right you wouldn't.

Look at it this way, if everything is in check she has nothing to worry about, so why should she be angry or raise hell over been checked on unless she knew she wasn't doing things by the book?

If you ask me she has a damn nerve. Regardless of the out come I'd still remove the girls from that place. They are YOUR children, so don't be dictated to by the sister in law and the mother. Let your husband deal with the shït afterwards seeing as he wasn't man enough to stand up to them in the first place.

LegacyUser · 06-07-2012 1:39pm

I think that is an incredibly sly and underhanded thing to do.

Why not just take your children out, rather than ratting on a family member like this.

When your husband finds out what you did to his sister, be prepared for the consequences....blood is thicker than water.

seamus · 06-07-2012 1:48pm

You've definitely done the right thing, without a shadow of a doubt. You're concerned about the quality of care that your child is getting. Remember your child is related to the childminder - so what level of care are the other kids getting? And you have significant problems with other aspects of her business. If the various agencies call in and give her a clean bill, then no harm done and you can maybe rest a little easier. If they call in and shut her down, then you've done a service to all other parents and kids. Either way it's win-win.

Overall, I would have recommended that you remove the child from her care as soon as your mother-in-law called you about it. This woman is running a business from her home and discussing the details of her clients with 3rd parties is way out of order. It doesn't matter that she discussed it with the child's grandmother. You are the mother, the woman if she had half a professional brain in her head would know that for your child, of all cases, she needs to maintain professional boundaries.

I wouldn't tell your husband what you did, but I would just tell him that you're moving the child because his sister is a terrible childminder. There's no point in pussyfooting around the issue, just tell him upfront that she's really bad at her job and you're going to hire someone better.
You may end up falling out with his family over it, but that may be unavoidable.

January · 06-07-2012 2:22pm

GJH Tatts wrote: »

I think that is an incredibly sly and underhanded thing to do.

Why not just take your children out, rather than ratting on a family member like this.

When your husband finds out what you did to his sister, be prepared for the consequences....blood is thicker than water.

His children are his blood and he's leaving them in a situation where they could be seriously hurt and are probably seriously bored all day with no activities to do.

OP done the right thing. I probably wouldn't have been so brave but fair play to you.

cynder · 06-07-2012 2:33pm

GJH Tatts wrote: »

I think that is an incredibly sly and underhanded thing to do.

Why not just take your children out, rather than ratting on a family member like this.

When your husband finds out what you did to his sister, be prepared for the consequences....blood is thicker than water.

Oh it is, but it's also a means to an end. She was at the end of her tether, reasoning with the husband got her nowhere.

She may not be sussed out, could aways be a neighbour or friend if a friend, that reported the sister in law, the only way for sure of tracing it back is if they find the above post.

The op should act dumb, otherwise the fallout will be like ww3.

irishbarb · 06-07-2012 2:34pm

I think you did the right thing OP! Even if you just took your own children out, the other children still have to suffer on under her care, and it sounds far from ideal! I think a lot of the time it's better just to avoid getting services (mechanics, plumbers, electricians etc.) from any family members because it just causes too much arguments and hassle. I would be interested to know what the outcome of the HSE visit was, if you feel comfortable with sharing it.

Good luck!

farmchoice · 06-07-2012 2:54pm

What you have done is very much the nuclear option. It is going to bring a world of trouble down on your sister in law. Now personally I think you were well within your rights and had little option.

Here is my bit of advice.
Under no circumstance admit what you have done. Deny it to the ends of the earth. When you are accused of it deny it outright and claim to be most offended that they would even think you capable of such a thing.

you might feel you have done nothing wrong and have noting to be ashamed of but the reality is you have most likely brought about the end of your sister in laws source of employment and income. not only that but if the revenue become involved she could be looking at a massive tax bill and penalties. She could in theory be prosecuted by a couple of different state bodies.

Get your story straight and stick with it.

pickarooney · 06-07-2012 3:09pm

You sound like you're making a huge drama out of something that doesn't need to be. Your responsibility is to your child and it's a bit pathetic that you can't stand up to him and he can't stand up to his sister and that your child should suffer for the sake of these ridiculous histrionics.

'World War 3' 'holy hell' 'all out war' - no, there was a disagreement between your immediate family and your extended family about something which is none of their business.

You do what you need to do for your children, plain and simple.

irishbarb · 06-07-2012 3:12pm

farmchoice wrote: »

you might feel you have done nothing wrong and have noting to be ashamed of but the reality is you have most likely brought about the end of your sister in laws source of employment and income. not only that but if the revenue become involved she could be looking at a massive tax bill and penalties. She could in theory be prosecuted by a couple of different state bodies.

That's not the OPs fault, that is the SIL's fault for operating illegally.

farmchoice · 06-07-2012 3:42pm

irishbarb wrote: »

That's not the OPs fault, that is the SIL's fault for operating illegally.

very true, but im not sure the sister in law or her family are going to see it that way.

carolinespring · 06-07-2012 3:51pm

The OP had nothing wrong and I find it amazing that some people think she has.

Her sister in law can mind 3 pre school children without notifying to the HSE but must as soon as she takes on the 4th child and with 8 under 4 years she is well out of line.

OP is also right in informing the HSA. By the sounds of it no Health and Safety was in place, plus a injury happened in the workplace and must be reported. The childminder should have a safety statement, training, policies and procedures and a copy given to all parents. It sounds like a joke of a set up. My heart bleeds for the poor children who had to go to this awfu plac every day.

As for the childminder tax affairs, I am glad the OP reported her. 1600.00 per week from the pre schollers without counting what she was charging for the 5 after schools, who I am sure are full time during the holidays so she was taking in at least 8000.00 a month and not paying a red cent on it.... and not spending any of it on the welfare of the children in her care.
She deserves all she gets. No wonder Ireland is in such a state with that kind of crap going on. I personally hope she gets the full force of the law.

I am self employed and make sure my take affairs are in order.

Personally OP you did your children, yourself and all the other kids and parents a massive favour by reporting her. Its totally up to you if you decide to tell your husband. I am sure he won't be saying it to the in laws and he has no reason to be mad at you. You did what was right for your little girls. I do think your husband is a major whim who needs to man up.

I hope all goes ok when you collect this evening and try and relax.

Was a wonderful thread on here a while ago about how amazing a childminder was. Might be worth reading. Think it was called heartbroken.

If you feel you can let us know what happens, but do move you kids to someplace they will be safe and happy.

Well done you!! xx

yellowlabrador · 06-07-2012 3:53pm

I would advise you to take time off and stop sending your children to an unsafe environment. I would do this now, not wait. Maybe unpaid leave? it's an emergency after all. There may be hostility towards your children after this and they are too small to cope. You can then arrange alternative care. Tell your husband that he can go on financing his sister if that is what he wants.

Calhoun · 06-07-2012 4:16pm

GarIT wrote: »

If it was me I'd move them somewhere else and tell the husband you'll look for a divorce if he can't man up about it. I'd also own up about calling, tell them what they were doing was illegal and to sue you if they have a problem.

Your sister is doing f all, taking in €1,600 per week and not paying tax, what you did was right.

Couldnt agree more with this what are you unoffical dole for your crazy sister in law? I mean you are paying for a service and from the sounds of it an expensive one at that. If she doesnt cut the mustard move your kids you owe her nothing.

You need to be more assertive when it comes to your kid, when it comes to raising your kids there is no time for arguments or discussion with anyone but your husband advise them that who you send them to is none of their business and the conversation is over.

Finally, i would strongly consider cutting contact from his family members. They have been nothing but disrespectful and think how they have treated your kids, could they be spiteful or mean to them in the future if left in contact with them? this whole situation would be a dealbreaker for me i would not trust any of them to be around them again.

If your husband doesnt agree well like Gar said divorce him, if he is more worried about keeping the peace than his families welfare he isnt worth anything.

daenerysstormborn3 · 06-07-2012 4:22pm

unhappy out wrote: »

Did I do the right thing and what would you have done?

Yes, you did the right thing and I would have done the same.

Not reporting carry on like this is what makes it so easy for people to scam the system in this country. Too many people worried about what the neighbours might think if it comes out that you reported someone carrying out illegal activity. Some of you may not believe this but this level of scamming the system is rife and it has a knock on effect on all of us.

Skid · 06-07-2012 4:28pm

unhappy out wrote: »

my husband had a big row over it and he dos not want to fall out with them but after a lot of me pushing agrees that they would better someplace else but is not perpared to move them and cause "upset" to his Sister and Mother.

Your Husband really need to sort out his priorities.

You did the right thing, given the circumstances.

secman · 06-07-2012 4:37pm

GJH Tatts wrote: »

I think that is an incredibly sly and underhanded thing to do.

Why not just take your children out, rather than ratting on a family member like this.

When your husband finds out what you did to his sister, be prepared for the consequences....blood is thicker than water.

And you would still feel this way if God forbid a more serious accident happened and a child died ? If it was your child ? Some people are thicker than planks ! The childeren here are the priority not his sister who does not seem to give a flying fcuk.

OP you did the right thing.

Secman

GarIT · 06-07-2012 4:44pm

Calhoun wrote: »

If your husband doesnt agree well like Gar said divorce him, if he is more worried about keeping the peace than his families welfare he isnt worth anything.

I wouldn't jump on a divorce straight away but your children should be more important to you than anything, including being more important than your husband.

The safety of your children should be more important to your husband than his family. If he can't realise that maybe he isn't fit to be a father.

DublinWriter · 06-07-2012 4:50pm

unhappy out wrote: »

My sister in law is not trained, no insurance and not HSE reg.

Your children come first, end of story.

CrazyRabbit · 06-07-2012 5:07pm

The only mistake 'unhappy out' made was allowing her kids to be minded by this sister-in-law in the first place. Relative or not, I would not have someone mind my kids if they were not up to the task.

And your husband should be ashamed of himself for putting the welfare of his kids second to his sisters employment status.

You've done the right thing.

Moonbeam · 06-07-2012 5:28pm

Is she registered with childminding Ireland?
She needs to be she registered for that amount of kids,is she insured?
I would report her to the she and social services.

username123 · 06-07-2012 5:39pm

You did the right thing. Im not sure you did it for the right reasons.

I do not understand why you did not put your foot down about where your child was being sent and ignored interference from the in laws.

I do not understand why you continued to send your child, then children there while clearly so unhappy with the service.

As for reporting her - should have been done years ago.

carolinespring · 06-07-2012 5:53pm

Moonbeam wrote: »

Is she registered with childminding Ireland?
She needs to be she registered for that amount of kids,is she insured?
I would report her to the she and social services.

No Childminder can have 8 pre school kids. She can have 3 before she has to inform the HSE, once she takes on the 4th she would have to be notified to the HSE and can mind no more that 5 pre school children and out of that no more than 2 can be under 15 months and she would need to have insurance, First Aid, Child protection training at the very least.

OP said in the opening post that she is not insured nor has she any training. The childminder is a joke and one that give good Childminders a bad name.

I personally think anyone minding children, even 1 child should be notified to the HSE.

So this childminder is flounting the law and with noregard for the safety and welfare of the children in her care.

In the OP "unhappy out" the childminder today had 8 children under 4 years, 5 school age children and 3 of her own. Thats 16 children to 1 adult.... Nuts. No one person can look after that many kids.

At a minimun of 8,000 a month for zero care, I hope she is closed down and fined at the very least. Infact I really hope the full weight of the law comes down on her.

Thinking of you OP.

Final Approach · 06-07-2012 5:57pm

Adults have a responsibility to take care of children and to protect their welfare very simply as they cannot take care of themselves. You are aware of a group of children not being cared for or supervised properly, and are also aware of one of them having had a potentially serious accident, very possibly due to the negligence of a so called childminder. You therefore absolutely did the right thing. You are putting the welfare of the children she is minding ahead of protecting her questionable services. Anybody that thinks any different should ask themselves if they would feel the same if that boy had pulled a kettle of boiling water on top of himself due to being unsupervised, instead of just cutting himself?

Secondly, It is my opinion that your husband has been hugely unsupportive, and would suggest that you have a serious conversation with him on what his responsibilities are and his priorities should be as the father your children, not to mention your husband.

edellc · 06-07-2012 7:16pm

Op they are your kids your responsibility and if you are not happy about the childcare they are receiving then move them, if your husband doesnt like this, tough...he has his priorities all wrong and if he wont stand up for his kids then you have to

As for the sister and mother in law, so what if there is a nuclear fall out, let them get their knickers in a twist, its not your problem and let them moan to your hubby and if and when he says anything just tell him in a calm manner that you are doing this for the safety and welfare of your children, if he cant see that then its him with the problem, but dont argue state the fact and let him give himself a heart attack with the stress, you know you are doing the right thing

As for reporting the sister, I would have done the same thing with no regrets, if she is doing what she is doing illegally, putting kids at risk and using their parents to fill her shopping list then it needs to be addressed and if as you said you constantly meet hostilities when anything is said then you really had no choice but to do what you did, do not feel guilty in anyway.

Get your kids into the childcare you want to and smile and nod if the hubby looses it but do it anyway if he doesnt like it, he knows where the door is.

Sounds harsh yes I know but believe me I have been through something similar with the in laws and you need to stand firm, you kids cant stick up for themselves that is their parents job and if one is not doing that then you need to take charge.

Big Bag of Chips · 06-07-2012 7:26pm

You did the right thing by reporting her, but I think your reason behind it was cowardly. Is she still minding your children?

You reported her in the hope she would be shut down, and then that would solve your problem of removing the children from her care without upsetting the in-laws.

What if she doesn't get shut down? What if conditions are put on her, and once she abides with them she is allowed to continue, and wants to keep your kids on... What then?

Where our kids are involved we need to learn to stand up for them. We need to be confident in our choices and not allow family or anyone else to sway us from what we believe is best for our children. Somethings of course can be compromised... Somethings can't.

Edit: And you're right, you're doing her weekly shopping.

cbyrd · 07-07-2012 9:30pm

Would you hand the keys of your car to someone you know would not treat it right?? These are your children, the most precious people in your life.. I don't know how you have not just told her what to do with herself. I'd be more concerned as to why your husband will not stand up for his children... after all one has already landed in hospital.. what would it take before he puts them first?
I'd just move them and say nothing.. first to complain should get it with both barrels. You have no loyalty to this woman.. you're not married to her !:(
I'd also be asking her for her insurance details for the injury your son got.. after all if you are paying her she is liable..

I really want to use stronger language but i feel i'd be banned :eek:

LegacyUser · 07-07-2012 9:40pm

You were placed in a difficult situation.
So were your children.
You were in a 'tight corner'.
I suggest you delete this thread as
you may have put enough detail here
to be found out.
Good luck and take care.

analucija · 07-07-2012 11:13pm

Your SIL didn't pay much attention to the laws before, so I'm not sure that HSE visit will change anything for you. She will lose some or all of the children and will be maybe even more eager to keep minding "family members".

You did the right thing but I very much doubt you solved your own problem. Somehow you will have to assert your will and send the children to another minder. If that means falling out with your husband's relatives then so be it.

Ellsbells · 08-07-2012 4:26pm

Obviously the childminder is acting inappropriately but what sticks out for me here is your willingness to allow this to happen and continue. No one on the planet would convince me to put my children into a child minding situation I was unhappy with. Why did you not stand up to them? Why did your husband not back you up?

You have really put the cat amongst the pidgeons now by reporting her and I cant see how this wont backfire on you

LegacyUser · 08-07-2012 10:06pm

OP here.

Thank you for all your replies. I collected my children on Friday to find my Mother in Law in the house with no sign of Sister in law. I was told she "had" to pop out bit no more information was offered. I needless to say did not ask. I was shaking leaving.

I had made a few calls on friday to find out about the availability in my area and am going to see a few places this week. I did own up and tell my husband that I did report his sister. He was stunned but quite calm about it all. Of course he does not want his family to find out and that is ok with me. He is also worried about the fall out of it all on his sister but ws not at all mad with me. I was sure we would hve had the mother of all rows over it. I told him that the kids had to be moved and while he didnt find it urgent as I do, he agreed and will come with me to see new places.

Anyway, this morning I get a call from my sister in law to say that she has hurt her back and won't be able to take any kids for a couple of weeks at the very least as her back is really bad, also that she was thinking of giving up childminding but would let me know for sure in a few weeks. I said we would have to look for someone to look after the kids as I do not have the holidays to take the time of work nor does my husband. She said that was fine.

I finished the call and burst into tears. Thankfully we can now move forward. My husband heard this afternoon from his brother that his sister had the pre school inspector on friday and that she had to shut to sort out the mess and reduce the number of kids, get insurance and make the place safe. Nothing of this was said to me during the phone call with my sister in law, nor did my mother in law say anything when she alled today to either my husband or me.

To all who could not understand why I let her mind my children. Well, I felt under pressure to, my husband didnt want to cause trouble within the family. I was wrong to go along with it and my husband is a kind of guy who never stood up to his family as he never wanted the drama that went with it. He is a good father and husband, but again needs to stand up for himself more with regard to his family. Hopefully now it won't be a issue as we won't see much of them. I will be sorry always for allowing her to mind my girls.

To address those who said wht I did was sly, well, to hell with that. I felt I had my back to the wall and needed to do something so I did what I felt I had to, maybe it was not the best way to go about but the more I think about it I feel I did the right thing for my children and all the other children who where in her care. The place was awful and not suitable for children so that needs/needed to be addressed.
If she didn't pay her tax then that is her issue and not mine. It was only when someone added it up her that I can see how much she was making for a really shoddy service and yet not a penny was spend to make the service good for our kids. I am boiling with temper thinking about it. She always played the poor mouth. So no I am not sorry and glad it turned out ok for me. Just sorry I waited until a little boy was hurt to report her. My 3.5 year old was so excited when I told her she was not going back to her aunt tomorrow as she had hurt her back. She knows she and her sister will have have a new minder.

So thanks guys.

highly1111 · 08-07-2012 11:06pm

I'm delighted things have worked out for you OP. I think you were right to tell your husband aswell. It would have being hard to contain. So sorry to read your story in the first place. I won't dwell but completely agree with the majority of other posters. Having 2 children myself I can only imagine your worry. As for the tax evasion - I really do hope she's penalised.

I wish you and your family all the best.

Lisha · 08-07-2012 11:10pm

Op ive been folllowing this thread, im delighted yourself and your husband are now on the same page. its great that you have been so open and honest andthat its ok between you both.
MY husband has an interesting family to say the least. He often takes the path of least resistance on things rather than have hassle. He has had to cut contact completely with some as he knows that is the only way they wont badly affect our lives. So I can totally understand why ye were caught in an impossible situation. But im delighted you can now move onwards and upwards.
the fact that she and the mother in law did not tell you just shows that she knows she was wrong on so many levels.
Best of luck Op

Scarlet42 · 09-07-2012 9:07am

thats great news OP .. well done and fair play to you!!

JoeyJJ · 09-07-2012 9:28am

Well done, so glad I am extremely happy with the creche I drop my two daughters to every day, couldn't imagine issues like this, families can be trouble with issues like this, sounds like she knows she was taking the piss and prob suspects you might have blown the whistle.

LittleBook · 09-07-2012 2:22pm

Unhappy out wrote: »

this morning I get a call from my sister in law to say that she has hurt her back and won't be able to take any kids for a couple of weeks at the very least as her back is really bad, also that she was thinking of giving up childminding but would let me know for sure in a few weeks.

Unhappy out wrote: »

My husband heard this afternoon from his brother that his sister had the pre school inspector on friday and that she had to shut to sort out the mess and reduce the number of kids, get insurance and make the place safe.

Ha! The lying wench! :pac:

And fair play to the HSE getting someone out there on the same day as the complaint, hopefully she'll be getting a visit from Revenue soon enough.

notsobusy · 09-07-2012 2:39pm

Delighted this has worked out for you.

I would have done the same thing to be honest although I think I would have stood up to OH sooner and just taken the kids out but I can understand why he didn't want to rock the boat either. Glad he has taken everything on board. Obviously your reaction and actions made him realise that you were serious about everything.

I'm self employed too and I make sure I have everything in order too and it really annoys me when people who don't stick to the rules seem to get away with it all the time!

Sleepy · 10-07-2012 9:58am

As the others have said, glad this worked out for you.

And on behalf of the taxpayers of Ireland, thanks. I'm sick of people who earn far more than me (and seemingly in this case aren't qualified or fit to do what they're being paid for) not paying their taxes.

Tim Robbins · 10-07-2012 10:55am

Sounds like HELL.

Answer - don't live near in - laws!

IF sister in law is so bad at minding kids, why do 8 other parents let their kids stay there?

Tim Robbins · 10-07-2012 11:21am

Just re-read thread.

No matter how right you were or wrong you were, I think you should ask for this thread to be deleted.

Hotblack Desiato · 14-07-2012 2:12am

Oh FFS. If people can't discuss real issues of importance to them, for fear of the panty wetting internet police then what is the point of boards at all - shut it all down except AH :rolleyes:

GarIT · 14-07-2012 2:24am

It might be a good idea to close this thread or delete it if possible, the OP is resolved and we dont want the in-laws seeing it.

Massive issue with childminder

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