How to deal with a timid kitten.

pauliebdub · 07-12-2011 11:05am #1

About 4 months ago i adopted a beautiful 10 week old kitten but from the very start she has been very timid and would run into a corner or behind the sofa and cower. Initially we thought it was anxiety about being separated from her mother so we were very gentle and patient with the kitten, petting it and making sure its bed and feeding area were close together in a quiet part of the house.

Nothing seems to have changed in the four months. The vet says the kitten is fine but she has always been a fussy eater and rarely finishes its food. Ourselves and the kids have spent hours petting the cat and letting her get used to us and she purrs away whilst doing so, but as soon as we put her down she runs into the corner. Does anyone have any ideas or a different approach we can use. Im at the wits end at this stage and will unfortunatly have to consider moving the kitten on if things dont improve and its upsetting for the kids as they think they have done something wrong as the kitten wont like them.

I dont believe the kitten was mistreated by the previous owner and im familiar with the mother cat.

Many Thanks.

SingItOut · 07-12-2011 1:10pm

I had the same problem with my older cat, hes now almost 3. I got him at about five months old. He had never had any human contact up until then so he lived inside our house only for two months after that as he would have run off if he was allowed outside. Each time someone would come into the house we asked them to try pet him and to speak to him, that worked wonders! He now goes up to anybody who comes in.

Do you have any of those toys that hang from a stick by fishing line? You can get them in any pet mania store. Our cat still loves them! Their a great way to entice the kitten to play with your kids and anyone else who tries to play with them, it will give her more confidence around people and not be so shy.
these toys

Definetly don't give up on your kitten, you just need to give her a little more patience and time like you've been doing. And bear in mind some cats are just very shy, its just their individual personality.

pauliebdub · 07-12-2011 2:03pm

She has some toys, like balls with a bell inside that i roll across the floor and a couple of toys on string but she is completely uninterested in either.

If we are in the room with her and sit still she will sometimes walk around the room but she doesnt seem to be all that curious about her surroundings like normal cats. She also never makes a sound unless it is to purr. Is this normal. Im worried that there might be a more serious behavioural problem.

SingItOut · 07-12-2011 2:42pm

That is quite strange, has she ever had any interest in exploring? inside or outside? .. My kitten is about three months old and doesn't really meow either, she just makes a chirping noise. We've had other cats like that before so I don't think your kitten not making much noise is a major problem.

Cats also sometimes purr when they are sick or are in pain, could she have hurt herself somehow? She might have visual or hearing problems if shes nervous in the house, not saying she does just trying to look for all the possibilities. I'd say take her to the vet just to put your mind at ease

planetX · 07-12-2011 4:05pm

I don't understand why you would consider 'moving her on' - there's a spectrum of cat personalities, and some simply don't like a lot of fuss. Many cats aren't going to ever be fond of kids, and it's unfair to expect that. Hopefully you didn't just get the kitten for the kids to play with...

BengaLover · 07-12-2011 4:34pm

Dont push things too much too fast, clear some shelves or high surfaces where she can sit and look down on all that is going on around her, this will make her feel more in control and safer, especially if she has a place to go where she cant be touched if she doesnt want to.. my golden rule with kids and cats has always been, 'let them come to you'. They will, but not until they are fully comfortable with their surroundings and accompanying noises!

pauliebdub · 07-12-2011 4:45pm

I got the kitten as a family pet, not just for the kids. But having had cats for years growing up ive never had a kitten like this one so at a loss at how to integrate her a bit more with the family. Hopefully its just a matter of time to help her settle in but im concerned that im not seeing any progress.

pauliebdub · 08-12-2011 4:21pm

Would it be a good idea to get another kitten to keep the one i have company and bring her out of her shell a bit? Are kittens/cats better in pairs?

Graces7 · 08-12-2011 5:40pm

She is maybe simply a "walk alone" cat. Just is her way?

When I let Siamese kittens go I used to say on the info sheet to let the kitten come to you, in his/her own time. With this one it may take longer; to reject it for this?

Of all the cats over the years, there have been some that are loners and aloof. Love her as she is. Rehoming? Poor wee cat.

Came back on this as something was jogging at my memory. I took in a feral kitten once. It behaved just like this. You could cuddle it and it would stay, but as soon as you put it down, off to a corner and hide.
She would purr too.

Maybe stop trying to handle it for a while as it clearly does not enjoy it ? Just wait and see when it will come to you of its own volition, rather than just allowing you? It does not trust any more than the wee feral did.

One thing I always suggested was to smear a finger lightly with marmite and offer it to the cat, without being pushy if yoiu understand what I mean. It will often lick with its eyes locked on your face. Or tuna juice. If it does not lick, fine, Try again later.

mymo · 09-12-2011 12:45am

Kittens are very small, people (even children) are very big, if the kids move fast or make loud noises, or the adults make loud noises, its very scary for a small cat(as I'm sure you know).
You need to take time. Set a quiet time, half an hour where you all talk in whispers and ignore the cat, but sit on the floor and play.
Sit the kids on the floor with a rolled up(in a ball) bit of paper and get them to flick it around, while sitting on the floor, no noises or sudden movements, get them to move slowly. After a while the kitten should become interested.
Also try a shoelace or dangly cat toy, get the kids to quietly walk across the room trailing it.
When the cat is comfortable with its surroundings its instincts will kick in and it will chase.
It will gain confidence and interact more, the most important thing is to teach yourselves to be quiet, its normal for kids and adults to get excited and voices get louder and movements faster, if the cat comes out to play and someone lets out a squeal of delight, it may sound like a warning to a kitten so they run and hide.

I hope you take this as the way I mean it, I see you've had cats before, you know they are all different, one of mine was a nervous wreak as a kitten, even calling his name sent him running, he's fine now, but it took some time (and the above games and quiet time)to get him to come out of himself.
Hope all goes well, our cats have been the most wonderful companions for my daughter.

MaryK666 · 09-12-2011 9:40pm

I've sent you a PM Paulie.

Scruffles · 10-12-2011 4:18pm

SingItOut wrote: »

I had the same problem with my older cat, hes now almost 3. I got him at about five months old. He had never had any human contact up until then so he lived inside our house only for two months after that as he would have run off if he was allowed outside. Each time someone would come into the house we asked them to try pet him and to speak to him, that worked wonders! He now goes up to anybody who comes in.

Do you have any of those toys that hang from a stick by fishing line? You can get them in any pet mania store. Our cat still loves them! Their a great way to entice the kitten to play with your kids and anyone else who tries to play with them, it will give her more confidence around people and not be so shy.
these toys

Definetly don't give up on your kitten, you just need to give her a little more patience and time like you've been doing. And bear in mind some cats are just very shy, its just their individual personality.

totaly agreed on not giving up!

cats are just as affected by environmental and situational experiences,they are as unique in personality as we are.

how was the kittens background? was her mum a well looked after cat? had she been a ferral or stray? was she introverted or extroverted?
how many weeks was she with her mother before being removed?
was she the runt of the litter?

the sisters cats:
sandy- http://www.catster.com/cats/674977
sandys kitten,ruby- http://www.catster.com/cats/764179
are both like that to an extreme level,theres to much to go into but sandy was left permenantly affected by severe abuse and neglect-with a condition called feline hyperesthesia syndrome-a famous cat behavioralist called vicky halls had been the first one to recognise it in sandy.
she unfortunately passed on her very skewed FHS perception of humans and the world to ruby and she is still a very very shy cat some years on.

a mother has a big effect on her kittens,as can be being the runt of the litter due to not getting enough nutrition-which was another issue of rubys to.

one of the things that has helped change ruby was for all of us to not approach her to give her attention,dont fuss her-shy cats do not like the fuss as it overwhelms them,let them do the approaching.
as difficult as it is to ignore a cat,this does help the shy ones gain some confidence over time.

dont use staring eye contact with them,and when in contact with them-keep head lowered as this is submissive behavior.

if woud like some specialist help,woud recommend seeking the help of a good cat behavioralist,ask the kittens vet if they know of anyone-or research it online.

al28283 · 10-12-2011 4:30pm

What exactly is the pronlem? Seems very odd to want to give away a cat because it's not behaving the way you'd like it too. Pets are not really there to entertain or be playthings for children, they're not toys. If you do give up the kitten you should not get another pet

pauliebdub · 11-12-2011 6:35pm

al28283 wrote: »

What exactly is the pronlem? Seems very odd to want to give away a cat because it's not behaving the way you'd like it too. Pets are not really there to entertain or be playthings for children, they're not toys. If you do give up the kitten you should not get another pet

Go and preach to someone else, your response i dont find particularly helpful. Ive got another kitten to keep the timid one company so hopefully that will bring it out of its shell, my daughters wanted a playful kitten they could interact with.

pauliebdub · 11-12-2011 6:45pm

Scruffles wrote: »

totaly agreed on not giving up!

cats are just as affected by environmental and situational experiences,they are as unique in personality as we are.

how was the kittens background? was her mum a well looked after cat? had she been a ferral or stray? was she introverted or extroverted?
how many weeks was she with her mother before being removed?
was she the runt of the litter?

the sisters cats:
sandy- http://www.catster.com/cats/674977
sandys kitten,ruby- http://www.catster.com/cats/764179
are both like that to an extreme level,theres to much to go into but sandy was left permenantly affected by severe abuse and neglect-with a condition called feline hyperesthesia syndrome-a famous cat behavioralist called vicky halls had been the first one to recognise it in sandy.
she unfortunately passed on her very skewed FHS perception of humans and the world to ruby and she is still a very very shy cat some years on.

a mother has a big effect on her kittens,as can be being the runt of the litter due to not getting enough nutrition-which was another issue of rubys to.

one of the things that has helped change ruby was for all of us to not approach her to give her attention,dont fuss her-shy cats do not like the fuss as it overwhelms them,let them do the approaching.
as difficult as it is to ignore a cat,this does help the shy ones gain some confidence over time.

dont use staring eye contact with them,and when in contact with them-keep head lowered as this is submissive behavior.

if woud like some specialist help,woud recommend seeking the help of a good cat behavioralist,ask the kittens vet if they know of anyone-or research it online.

Yes the kitten was the runt of the litter, much smaller than the other kittens and was the last one to be rehomed. The mother cat is very well looked after and isnt shy at all was originally a stay that turned up on my friends doorstep a couple of years ago. The kitten was with the mother for about ten weeks i believe.

The house were the kitten was raised would have been a quiet house with just one person living there, so the cat would have had a quiet environment to raise her kittens. The kitten might have found it hard to adjust to a family home with noisy young children and visitors and other pets.

The kitten is showing small improvements, she will come to her bowl straight away now to eat before ive left the room if i dont make any sudden movements. Most of the time the kitten is happy to lie in a dark corner, behind a couch or under a radiator. Ive got a new kitten to keep her company so im going to see how that works out.

pauliebdub · 11-12-2011 6:59pm

Scruffles wrote: »

one of the things that has helped change ruby was for all of us to not approach her to give her attention,dont fuss her-shy cats do not like the fuss as it overwhelms them,let them do the approaching.
as difficult as it is to ignore a cat,this does help the shy ones gain some confidence over time.

I think this is a good idea, we have started to leave her where she is and let her do the approaching when she wants to.

How to deal with a timid kitten.

Comments