Whats the best way to look busy in work ?

PCB · 09-06-2008 11:39am #1

sitting here in work quite obviously doing nothing i have started thinking how can i look incredibly busy while doing absolutely zero. and im talking busy like the comapany is gonna fall apart if i stop doing what im doing!!!!

Sherifu · 09-06-2008 11:39am

I used to carry around an empty cardboard box. Also walking fast helps.

At a desk, you can open multiple applications, scribble furiously on a pad and talk to nobody on the phone...

_blank_ · 09-06-2008 11:40am

I don't have any work to do this morning.

My boss is in Blegium.

I'm not trying to look busy.

chopperbyrne · 09-06-2008 11:41am

Print off any old crap, scrutinise it and have a spreadsheet open and randomly add details in.

PCB · 09-06-2008 11:41am

this also makes me think. how many other people around me are also pretending to work??

i must have a look around and try and figure it out

PCB · 09-06-2008 11:42am

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Print off any old crap, scrutinise it and have a spreadsheet open and randomly add details in.

i think id prefer to do real work!!!

Duggy747 · 09-06-2008 11:46am

Simple, but effective: Put a biro in your mouth and chew on it with a certain inquisitive look on your face. People will actually think your trying to solve something (Like how to come up with a good post in a thread

)

Eoin · 09-06-2008 11:47am

You can't beat walking around with a clipboard / folder. Also, if boards had a skin that looked like excel, we would all be sorted.

bills · 09-06-2008 11:51am

loads of paper everywhere & a really messy desk! not that i ever do this, couldn't get away with it even if i wanted.

PCB · 09-06-2008 11:51am

JCDenton · 09-06-2008 11:52am

Sometimes:
I like to copy-and-paste Wikipedia articles (or other web-pages) into Word documents (without the pictures); and when people pass by, they see the official company logo, and lots of boring text. No-one ever stops to have a look.

Entire days can be wasted this way.

Heisenberg. · 09-06-2008 11:57am

This post has been deleted.

PCB · 09-06-2008 11:59am

i do find writing absolutely random stuff on an A4 pad when you see your boss coming looks like you have engaging in some form of research.

BTW the girl across from is on wikipedia and the guy beside her texting from meteor:D

Cuddlesworth · 09-06-2008 12:04pm

Pick a single 5 minute task. Loudly inform everybody you are doing it and when approached always open with "I'm really busy doing "something", and outline every single thing you have or haven't done so far in boring minute detail. Be sure to estimate that its going to take you the rest of the day to complete. Do this every day.

Works for a lad I work with, for everybody who doesn't work with him he's a very busy and active guy. For everybody who does work with him, we have given up trying to approach him since its too much hassle.

Quality · 09-06-2008 12:07pm

Always walk around with papers in your hand.

If someone asks for your time, tell them that you wont be free for an hour as you have to finish a report for (insert your bosses name).

Always make sure your desk area is covered in manuals and paper.

If someone calls your name, dont hear them the first time and say "huh you talking to me, I'm really busy whats up?"

'Ol Jack Chance · 09-06-2008 12:07pm

Duggy747 wrote: »

Simple, but effective: Put a biro in your mouth and chew on it with a certain inquisitive look on your face. People will actually think your trying to solve something (Like how to come up with a good post in a thread )

+1 i do this all the time

Toto Wolfcastle · 09-06-2008 12:13pm

Lol anyone ever do real work? This fake work sounds like fun.

chopperbyrne · 09-06-2008 12:17pm

janeybabe wrote: »

Lol anyone ever do real work? This fake work sounds like fun.

The who and the what in the where now?!!

Pompey Magnus · 09-06-2008 12:20pm

JCDenton wrote: »

Sometimes:
I like to copy-and-paste Wikipedia articles (or other web-pages) into Word documents (without the pictures); and when people pass by, they see the official company logo, and lots of boring text. No-one ever stops to have a look.

Entire days can be wasted this way.

You sir are a genius.

Kold · 09-06-2008 12:20pm

Run, screaming bloody murder to the bathroom whilst holding your asscheeks tightly together. Try and splatter a little fake blood around the base of the toilet bowl, when anybody asks if you're ok just scream at them to go away whilst also babbling nonsense.

Proxy · 09-06-2008 12:27pm

janeybabe wrote: »

Lol anyone ever do real work? This fake work sounds like fun.

See thats what I don't get - we all "fake work" in work, so whats the point? Does it mean that if we hired less people we'd get the same work done and people would just be busier?

I'd rather be busier, sucks to just sit in work killing time. I've got better things I could be at. Like, its depressing; getting up at 7am every day to rush into work for half 8 through Dublin traffic to just sit there supping tae, looking at wikipedia (i'm reading an e-book on the "Secret History of Star Wars") waiting to get busy. Then when you get busy, you're so glad to have something to do it gets done quickly and you're back to step one again! 5 o'clock comes and you wander off home, another day gone.

Soul sucking. Sigh.

09-06-2008 12:30pm

eoin_s wrote: »

You can't beat walking around with a clipboard / folder.

The old favorite, I've known one junior manager spent his career doing that after "delegating" his entire workload onto others

The management only sussed him when he was off sick for a few months and no one noticed his absence. :pac:

uglyjohn · 09-06-2008 12:33pm

the only thing i really mind is when i have to fill out my timesheet showing what i was doing on the quiet days....lots of Admin/Training

Dennis the Stone · 09-06-2008 12:34pm

Sherifu wrote: »

I used to carry around an empty cardboard box. Also walking fast helps.

I was doing that in a factory once, there was nothing to pack so I was walking from one end of the warehouse to the other with an empty box. I was pretending that it was really heavy and that I was putting my back into lifting it. This was going great until one day I slipped and the box opened up. Everyone was wondering why I found it so difficult to move an empty box, I think they thought I was retarded

09-06-2008 12:35pm

Do an on-line training course, then you can get a better job!

Xavi6 · 09-06-2008 12:40pm

JCDenton wrote: »

Sometimes:
I like to copy-and-paste Wikipedia articles (or other web-pages) into Word documents (without the pictures); and when people pass by, they see the official company logo, and lots of boring text. No-one ever stops to have a look.

Entire days can be wasted this way.

Ah, a man after my own heart. That's exactly what I do every day.

Nalz · 09-06-2008 12:44pm

Notepad open at desk
Notepad under arm walking around

Always leave a filler job. I.e. have a job thats not important and when someone comes around of importance restart/continue working on it. Always vital to have a filler

'Ol Jack Chance · 09-06-2008 12:55pm

Trilla wrote: »

Always leave a filler job. I.e. have a job thats not important and when someone comes around of importance restart/continue working on it. Always vital to have a filler

another very good point. always plan ahead

Sherifu · 09-06-2008 3:24pm

Tago Mago wrote: »

I was doing that in a factory once, there was nothing to pack so I was walking from one end of the warehouse to the other with an empty box. I was pretending that it was really heavy and that I was putting my back into lifting it. This was going great until one day I slipped and the box opened up. Everyone was wondering why I found it so difficult to move an empty box, I think they thought I was retarded

Slipping, a rookie mistake.

5starpool · 09-06-2008 3:44pm

My secret to looking busy has a few steps:

1. Have a window seat - check
2. Look annoyed and hassled anytime somoeone asks me to do stuff - check
3. Delegate stuff out as you are 'too busy' - check
4. Try not to laugh at funny stuff on d'interweb - check-ish
5. Don't bother looking busy, they'll never believe it anyhow.
6. Put feet on desk at several points throughout the day.
7. Still do points 1 and 2 anyhow cause they are facts.
8. Constantly complain loudly that you hate work.
9. Occasionally do stuff, and pretend it is really difficult, but do do it quickly. Then everyone thinks you are great.

Welcome to my world.

zuutroy · 09-06-2008 3:53pm

A good one I do if I only arrive in at 10:30-11 (which is every day) is to grab some paper from around the printer so it looks like you're coming from some work related place when you sit at your desk, as opposed to from bed. Though, no one cares what I do anyway, so I don't know why I bother. Good ol' academia.

Dinter · 09-06-2008 4:07pm

Email is the absolutely best way to make it look like you’re working while doing nothing.

Never send an email before 5 o’clock. Even if it’s a straightforward question make sure that sending it is the last thing you do in the evening before putting on your coat.

It’s always best to start it with something like

“Sorry I’m only getting around to this now but . . .” or “sorry I’m only checking my email now.”

These make it look like you are far too busy to waste time with emails and if that’s how you treat work ones than obviously you’d never have time for personal ones.

If people phone you, get them to email any queries they might have. Throw in a statement about how you’re trying to introduce a better system for tracking what stage particular clients are at. Mention this to your boss as being the greatest idea ever so you can tell minions/clients complaining about lack of responses that yourself and whoever have discussed this, alluding to his full approval whether you have it or not.

Another good one is to “accidentally” send a work related email that you’ve fully completed really well to your boss. Then wait for him to discover it and mention it to you. Apologise and say that was meant to go to whomever and then say “but it’s ok, I made a point of meeting him this morning and went through it with him.”

Makes you look like you’re always working and if you blame it on your email system messing up so much the better. My boss would fail the ECDL so this is a trick I pull quite often and then give out about servers or emails bouncing. Not that I’ve much of a clue about IT either but usually if you speak with enough authority people will believe anything.

Mahatma coat · 09-06-2008 4:30pm

heres a thought, how about actualy workin?

PCB · 09-06-2008 4:31pm

heres a thought....get f0cked a55clown

Run_to_da_hills · 09-06-2008 4:33pm

Be seen with a measuring tape and ajustible spanner.

Mahatma coat · 09-06-2008 4:38pm

Be seen with a measuring tape and ajustible spanner.

twould raise a few questions if ya were a Doctor tho

DonkeyStyle \o/ · 09-06-2008 4:54pm

Pretending to talk to someone on the phone... effective and hilarious.

Dudess · 09-06-2008 4:54pm

PCB wrote: »

heres a thought....get f0cked a55clown

Infracted for personal abuse.

09-06-2008 5:12pm

Mahatma coat wrote: »

twould raise a few questions if ya were a Doctor tho

Just imagine a dentist walking around with a Kango 1200w hammer drill :eek:

entropi · 09-06-2008 5:22pm

Maybe the best way you could have looked busy was, wait for it...actually working ??

09-06-2008 5:28pm

Death Sentence wrote: »

Maybe the best way you could have looked busy was, wait for it...actually working ??

Depends on the type of job you have of course...

kowloon · 09-06-2008 5:34pm

Death Sentence wrote: »

Maybe the best way you could have looked busy was, wait for it...actually working ??

I'd say you're fierce popular in the office!

The more adventurous slacking off was the only thing I enjoyed about my last job.

kerry4sam · 10-06-2008 2:16am

- Have multiple programmes open on your PC so if someone walked behind you they'll just look and walk on ...

- Do some roughwork on paper and pile it all together so when your boss stops by they'll see all this paperwork that they will think has to be inputted

- Look puzzled while looking at your PC monitor and ruffle through some papers