How to get over a broken heart?

LegacyUser · 11-01-2015 4:51pm #1

Recently, I've just gotten out of a relationship with somebody I truly cared for. We were so compatible and I honestly thought she was the one. The ending came absolutely out of nowhere and I've been very cut up since it ended.

We broke up before Christmas and the festivities largely took my mind off it, however the last few days I think about her and get these twinges of sadness that just don't seem to go away. I've tried to keep active and not allow myself to 'wallow' in my own misery but it really is tough.

Of course, there are many more 'fish in the sea' and I've been through heartbreak and break-ups before but this one is really stinging as I honestly thought she was the one.

missjm · 11-01-2015 7:40pm

Time is the only healer in my experience. Keep yourself busy and try to introduce new hobbies and new people into your life. As time goes on the sadness won't be so bad. Longterm 'wallowing' doesn't really help in these situations. In the meantime look after yourself and treat yourself a bit.

LegacyUser · 11-01-2015 8:36pm

Getting over someone was one of the hardest things I've ever done, realising that your heart actually really aches. It took hell of a long time to feel myself again. I promise you though you will get through this. Give yourself a plenty of time. It's normal to be going through hell, the best word that describes it is that it just sucks. Everything just seems lost and just wrong and Its easy to let it consume your mind. Please be patient and you will get through this little by little.

DeclanJWhite · 21-01-2015 7:39pm

The odd song or poem might be momentary balms. It is awful, though. All the best!

Oryx · 21-01-2015 7:58pm

Time, and distractions. The heart has to heal in its own good time, and while it does, all you can do is stay busy so you don't dwell.

Avoid sad songs, or things that remind you of your ex. Every time you look back with sadness, make yourself change your train of thought. Don't go down that spiral. Don't contact your ex or follow them on social media. Every day it will get just a little bit easier.

beks101 · 22-01-2015 10:44am

A steady mix of plans and personal space was what got me through.

Use this time to re-connect with family and friends and really make the effort - organize nights out, start a new class with a mate, throw yourself into a new exercise regime and maybe start training for something, set a To-Do list and plough your way through that.

But make some time to be on your own and just feel like sh1t too. It's a horrid mix of emotions - sadness, longing, disappointment, devastation, loneliness, confusion and just this sense of loss that is almost palpable. I understand exactly what you're going through; it's wretched and no amount of "plenty more fish in the sea!" pep talks will ease those feelings. They just need to be felt really and not locked away because that's the only way you can get passed them.

And you WILL get passed them. I know it's of little consolation to hear, but millions of people go through this and get through this. You can and will connect with someone new in the future when the time is right; this really isn't the end of the world.

You'll be grand, just give it time.

Colonel_McCoy · 22-01-2015 11:23am

OP I could have written your post. One word did for me is "time". Its cliched but it works stay busy and it will easier after each day passes.

aidanki · 22-01-2015 2:52pm

how long a time if you don't mind me asking ?

quickq987 · 23-01-2015 12:42am

Im not sure of your story? but is there no way that the relationship can be salvaged? maybe she feels the same way? No harm in asking if your missing her this much.

coopdog85 · 24-01-2015 5:37pm

I came out of a very serious, long term relationship a few months ago. Hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life - so far. Believe me it gets easier but initially the shock is almost unbearable.

I've moved on as quick as possible & feel good but I won't lie I still get moments & days where I will openly cry over her. A little thing like eating a certain food that I used to make for her, going to a certain pub etc. I avoided all these things for the first few months until one day I was walking past our local & I just headed in without thinking. It was my first time in there since we had broken up & although it was difficult it was a breakthrough.

It'll get easier OP but like all traumatic experiences you will have bad days & your ups & downs but trust me it will get easier.

rcarroll · 25-01-2015 12:31pm

I read somewhere it takes half the length of the relationship to be ready and truely over them. I'd take it as a rough guideline... For me I felt over them more or less in a few months 3/4 but nearly a year before I felt I could really give my heart again to someone. Do tonnes of excercise, go out with mates but watch the booze...I cut it out completely the first few weeks as it was making things worse and realise that itdoesn't matter why, it just wasn't right. Take care, it really sucks, and in the meantime have fun meeting new people when you're ready

How to get over a broken heart?

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