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made a mess of it

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  • 26-07-2014 10:35pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    i spent the night with a girl recently the 2 of us were drunk and went back to hers we never slept toghether the next day i remembered something i should not have told concerning her boyfriend i phoned her 5 or 6 times to tell not to him in case i or the person who told me got into trouble. she didnt answer but text back to say she did want a relationship(which wasnt why i was phoning) should i text her and tell her not to say?


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    #2
    dixiefly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,947 ✭✭✭dixiefly


    Sorry, that is very difficult to understand. Can you explain it again.


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    #3
    strobe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    Is this right OP? You got drunk and fooled around a bit, but didn't sleep with a girl that already has a boyfriend. During the night you told her a secret about her boyfriend that someone else had told to you. You are worried she will tell her boyfriend that you told her his secret and you and the person that told it to you will get in trouble with the boyfriend for revealing it to her. You tried to contact her to tell her not to tell her boyfriend you revealed his secret but when you contacted her she told you she wants to remain in her relationship with her boyfriend and not leave him for you? You want to know if you should contact her again to ask her not to say to her boyfriend you told her his secret?


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    #4
    Bafucin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 642 ✭✭✭Bafucin


    I am confused as to whether you are saying she wants a relationship with you or to stay in the relationship with her boyfriend?It depends on the nature of the secret. She knows now. To be honest if she is staying in the relationship now it will probably come out between them.

    If she wants a relationship with you and you don't with her and you ask her not to say she might do something she will regret in anger.


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    #5
    mylefttesticle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 305 ✭✭mylefttesticle


    She doesn't trust you and its pointless to try and contact her again.

    You used something told in confidence to try and hook up with your ''friends'' Gf and now you are worried it will come back onto you.

    Its a life lesson and just leave it and move on and stay away from girls who have bf's it never ever ever ends well.


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    #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    they were broken up. not formally but they had a massive argument. when i was back at hers she was giving out about i told her something that was told to me not so much in confidence but would lead to trouble for him. i didnt mean to use it but she was giving out him and asking me about him and i told her. the story mightnt be true but i trust the people involved so it probably is i dont want to give too many details on here


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    #7
    dgt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,985 ✭✭✭✭dgt


    Sounds like a very messy situation you got yourself in OP....

    I would distance myself away from her. She sounds like she's a bit all over the place she does not want anything relationship wise at the moment or from you.

    If what you said comes back to you, then you'll just have to deal with it on the chin. It's happened to me, I've learned not to mention what might demean others


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    #8
    Bafucin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 642 ✭✭✭Bafucin


    overplayed wrote: »
    they were broken up. not formally but they had a massive argument. when i was back at hers she was giving out about i told her something that was told to me not so much in confidence but would lead to trouble for him. i didnt mean to use it but she was giving out him and asking me about him and i told her. the story mightnt be true but i trust the people involved so it probably is i dont want to give too many details on here


    I wouldn't worry about it too much. Stay calm and give it space and it will blow over. And keep the info to yourself now don't tell anyone else. She might not say anything to him. It sounds like the type of thing he might get angry over or you think that. So it's important that you keep calm.


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    #9
    Mr. Loverman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,001 ✭✭✭Mr. Loverman


    I'm going to guess you're quite young?

    This is my controversial opinion.

    There are lots of girls out there. This one has a boyfriend, or at least, a lot of man drama in her life.

    Forget about her and find someone else.


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    #10
    Tokyo
    Politics Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    • You are friends with both parties involved.
    • You are privy to personal info on at least one party and can't seem to keep it to yourself.
    • They may be broken up, may be on a break, they may be just arguing, nobody seems to be sure.

    Any one of these things makes the situation awkward, all three together make it a downright minefield. The best thing you can do for everyone involved, including yourself, is to distance yourself from both parties for a bit, and let them sort out their troubles, one way or another. The last thing your friend needs to hear is that you are (a) sleeping with his ex(???) and (b) whispering poison in her ear. And the last thing you need is a relationship with someone that can't figure out who she wants to be with from one end of the week to the other.


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    #11
    JeffKenna
    Registered Users Posts: 4,510 ✭✭✭JeffKenna


    overplayed wrote: »
    they were broken up. not formally but they had a massive argument. when i was back at hers she was giving out about i told her something that was told to me not so much in confidence but would lead to trouble for him. i didnt mean to use it but she was giving out him and asking me about him and i told her. the story mightnt be true but i trust the people involved so it probably is i dont want to give too many details on here

    Why do I get the feeling you told her that he had cheated at some stage?

    Not covering yourself in glory here, went back with a 'friends' girlfriend after she had a massive argument with her boyfriend and then stabbed him in the back by adding fuel to the fire in order to get with his girlfriend.


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    #12
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    JeffKenna wrote: »
    Why do I get the feeling you told her that he had cheated at some stage?

    Not covering yourself in glory here, went back with a 'friends' girlfriend after she had a massive argument with her boyfriend and then stabbed him in the back by adding fuel to the fire in order to get with his girlfriend.


    no thats what i told. she found him very controlling and didnt want her to meet up with anyone or head out and was very suspicious with his other ex he taped her conversations she knew because he played them back to her.


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    #13
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    overplayed wrote: »
    no thats what i told. she found him very controlling and didnt want her to meet up with anyone or head out and was very suspicious with his other ex he taped her conversations she knew because he played them back to her.

    He is a psycho be VERY careful that you don't piss him off. I cannot stress to you how you need to prioritize your own well being and happiness you are not doing so.

    You are antagonizing an obviously already paranoid man. Don't get involved.

    You are going to have to avoid her.

    If he will go to those lengths who knows what he would do.


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    #14
    strobe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    overplayed wrote: »
    no thats what i told. she found him very controlling and didnt want her to meet up with anyone or head out and was very suspicious with his other ex he taped her conversations she knew because he played them back to her.

    Ah look man, the bottom line is keep your nose, your mouth and your cock out of other peoples messy relationships in future. Chalk this all down to experience and learn from the mistake, there's nothing you can do now about what's done but just try not to repeat the mistake in future.


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