Why do I feel like this?

LegacyUser · 06-01-2008 11:20pm #1

I've been feeling depressed lately but for no good reason that I can think of. I lead a pretty comfortable life, have a boyfriend, friends, a good family and a decent job. But sometimes I just feel like I've a deep hurt coming from my heart and I don't know why and just feel like crying. I'm just going through the motions of life but don't really care about any of it. Even when I do things for "fun" it just feels like I'm trying to kill time. I was depressed when I was younger, but I knew why, and once the problem was resolved I was ok again. But this time I don't know how to fix it because there's no obvious problem! I don't feel this way all the time but it's definitely becoming more common and I'm afraid these feelings will start to consume me.

Esel · 07-01-2008 4:37am

Feeling sad wrote: »

... But this time I don't know how to fix it because there's no obvious problem!...

You have described 'the problem' - you are feeling depressed a lot.

Exercise will help a fair bit - brisk walking is great.

Depending on how bad you are feeling, or if you think it's getting worse / deeper / more frequent, you might like to consider talking to your GP about it.

How Strange · 07-01-2008 10:36am

OP, exercise is really a vital part of anyone's life who is prone to depression especially at this time of year (short days, dark nights, bad weather). Get out in the fresh air and go for a walk or a jog.

You are feeling very blue at the moment so I would say take a look at yourself and ask is there anything you would love to do but haven't. It could be as simple as taking dance classes or heading off for a few months travelling. You need to get yourself going again and that won't happen if you are just going through the motions.

Be a little selfish and think what would make you happy at this stage?

Also, only drink in moderation - a couple of glasses of wine/beer on a saturday night or whatever but drinking too much will intensify feelings of depression.

Finally, watch your diet. Eat lots of fresh veg, fish and avoid processed foods and caffeine. Diet, exercise and reducing alcohol intake won't cure you but it will make you feel better on the inside so will help you along the way to beating the blues.

luckat · 07-01-2008 10:43am

What the above posters said.

It would also be a good idea to go and talk to the doctor; you might need a short course of anti-depressants to shake off the blues and help you to face into the good-eating-and-exercise routine.

Walking is particularly great - you can spy into people's windows and see how they've done up their houses (if in a middle-class area; working-class areas have lace curtains, the spoilsports).

And - I know this sounds Pollyanna, but it works - try smiling, whether you feel like it or not. It actually makes you feel better. And try to say one nice, positive thing per hour, and do one nice, positive thing per day.

(Personal example: I went out to the shops yesterday while still quite sick with a bad chest bug, after three days flat on my back, and ended up being really snappy with two people over a queue-jumping misunderstanding. It spoiled my own day, and I ended up snapping at people I love later on. I still feel soured from it. Actions rebound back on you in how you feel about yourself.)

only_me · 13-01-2008 4:24am

I read your post, and I really feel for you. I was in a very similar situation, that I'm only really coming out of now.
I had been depressed on and off when I was younger, and I knew why, but I thought I had delt with it, and had moved on.

When I was about 16 I began to get short periods of depression, once every few months, for absolutely no reason what so ever. Most days I would be fine, but then something would switch, and it was like I would become a different person. They progressively got worse and came to a head when I was about 19. I had to defer from college because of it. Felt the exact same way as you, just going through the motions, and when it lifted a bit, I felt complete dread at the thought of it coming back. I think the worst thing about it was that I didn't know why it was there. I went to see loads of doctors, and all they could do was recommend anti-depressants. But the problem was, it, like you said was coming from the heart, if that makes sense. It's like the depression was routed in something that meant something to me, other than just depression itself. And when I would hit those low points, apart from the despair, I felt completely lost, I couldn't figure out why it was there.

I'm just speaking from my own experience, I found it very difficult to get help for it, because there would be days when I'd be grand, so I'd feel stupid going to talk to someone about it. Obviously everyone is different, and goes about things differently, and it has to do with how you personally feel and what have you, but I began to meditate, I was told it would relax me when I was upset, and I also began going to see someone that did Reiki. Now, obviously different things for different people, but-although this was a very slow process-it was over a year before I began to fully realise the root of the problem(and that there actually was a root of the problem)-the reiki, and me going through and trying to figure out what was going on, things that I didn't even know were there began coming to the surface. Now I'm not saying you should go to Reiki or anything, everyone is different and finds their own ways to manage problems, and maybe anti-depressants are the way to go for now, but when I look back on how I was before, I would never, ever have dreamed in a million years to have repressed emotions on these things that I thought I had already dealt with. But I did, and it manifested itself as depression. You mentioned in your post that you had been depressed before over something, but it had been resolved. I used to say the exact same thing, and would get irritated if anyone told me otherwise, because I had completely blocked off any emotion about it. I'm not saying that definately is the problem, but maybe it would be worth looking over just to make sure. I hope that was some help to you, (and eh..sorry it was a bit rambly...) and I really hope that you get to the bottom of this, and that you'll be ok.

Overheal · 13-01-2008 7:10pm

OP: you live a comfortable life but in your opinion does it seem to have meaning? I see people go through the motions every day: it doesnt take long to find out things about the problem - a major one is they aren't doing what they want to in life: usually their only doing college course X because mom and pop wanted them to and they really want to be a Y.

Is there something in life you want to be doing that youre not? Opening a shop? Pursuing career X? Saving the Whales? etc?

Why do I feel like this?

Comments