Best Man Speech

chases0102 · 02-09-2014 10:48pm #1

Hi folks,

Just wondering if anyone here can be of any help, or maybe even point me in the right direction.

I am giving my Best Man speech in 10 days, and am REALLY struggling with it. I find the whole experience rather daunting.

And while I am not necessarily dreading the whole speaking in public aspect, I am worried that it won't be good and will be a damp squib and quite boring.

Every day it's getting closer and I feel like I don't have any idea what I am going to say (or expected to say), or indeed that I have anything cool/special/funny planned that will make it a success.

Probably a question asked loads of times here, but I am in dire need of help. If anyone has any advice I would be greatly obliged!!

Sauve · 03-09-2014 12:03am

Mod
Hi OP,

I'm going to move this thread to the Weddings, Marriages, and Civil Partnerships forum. I think you'll get better answers there.

Sauve.

nosietoes · 03-09-2014 12:36am

I've given the bridesmaid speach twice - and the first time I felt quite like you. So much like you that I ignored it until the day of (!) and the advice I would give is to look into your heart.

Talk about the groom and what makes him close to you and about his relationship with his new missus. It doesn't have to be long, or funny, but heartfelt without being soppy, and true to yourself is important. If you're a serious person, be that way. If you're a messer, make reference to that but be balanced (think about your audience as well).

Both times I spoke, I thought about the positive impacts that the person my friend chose had on our relationship and brought that into the speach - it's not about the groom, or the groom and you but about the couple and everyone in that room.

Hope this helps! Ask more specific Qs if you want to jog my memory...

I am now ridiculously nervous about my Bride speech because I have a reputation to upkeep!

clint_silver · 03-09-2014 6:52am

chases0102 wrote: »

Hi folks,

Just wondering if anyone here can be of any help, or maybe even point me in the right direction.

I am giving my Best Man speech in 10 days, and am REALLY struggling with it. I find the whole experience rather daunting.

And while I am not necessarily dreading the whole speaking in public aspect, I am worried that it won't be good and will be a damp squib and quite boring.

Every day it's getting closer and I feel like I don't have any idea what I am going to say (or expected to say), or indeed that I have anything cool/special/funny planned that will make it a success.

Probably a question asked loads of times here, but I am in dire need of help. If anyone has any advice I would be greatly obliged!!

Ask couple can the speeches be done before meal. You'll be worrying through it otherwise and might not enjoy the food.
If you really don't know what to say try this formula.
Keep it short, 5 mins and under. 2-3 jokes ripped off the net, make relevant to the groom. Bride is lovely. Bridesmaids are gorgeous. Bride is getting a bargain. Knew they were sorted day they met. Ask his mam or dad for a funny story on him(parents have loads of them). Stand up and Raise your glasses. Done. Everyone's happy it wasn't long and boring. Win. Win.

kkcatlou · 03-09-2014 9:58am

Agree with all of the above, except jokes from the internet! Don't!!!! It looks cheesy and is very obvious!

Roddylarge · 03-09-2014 1:55pm

Yeah, Ive done two and of each one I've stuck to the same formula and they both have gone down a treat.

1. Mention how great a day it has been etc
2. Say how you know the groom, tell one or two funny stories (they don't even have to be that funny, as everyone will laugh anyway)
3. Go a bit soppy, say how great a friend the groom has been to you etc and how he will make a perfect husband.
4. Praise the bride, tell her how lucky she is to be getting the groom, tell her how pretty she is and how you couldn't have imagined a better match.
5. Thank everyone, bridesmaids, parents etc.
6. If you need to end with a funny line or two about the groom,
7. Do a toast, sit down and relax.

Just remember that you are not presenting to a group of lads, but a cross section of his family/her family and all their friends. So avoid anything smutty, no mention of ex girlfriends or anything that happened in previous relationships. No cursing etc, and avoid cheesy internet jokes as most people have heard them all already.

Remember, the audience wants to laugh at your speech, so they will giggle and laugh at anything remotely funny. They want to cry (or at least feel a little romantic) so don't be afraid to use the 'love' word, 'best friend', 'lucky girl' etc
You are there to make your groom proud of you, not there to impress the rest of the lads.

chases0102 · 03-09-2014 2:02pm

Thanks so much everyone for your responses...going to take them on board, and give myself an hour or two this evening to filter it all, and hopefully come up with something...

I'll let ye know how I am getting on!

razorblunt · 03-09-2014 3:00pm

Not going to add anything more than what's been said above, but remember everyone there wants you to be good and will go along with you as long as its heartfelt and genuine.
If you're speech is going to be right at the end, like mine was, I asked for my main course to be taken away and brought back after the speeches were done as I had no stomach for it beforehand!

Don't use internet jokes either!

NewCorkLad · 03-09-2014 3:07pm

Roddylarge wrote: »

Yeah, Ive done two and of each one I've stuck to the same formula and they both have gone down a treat.

1. Mention how great a day it has been etc
2. Say how you know the groom, tell one or two funny stories (they don't even have to be that funny, as everyone will laugh anyway)
3. Go a bit soppy, say how great a friend the groom has been to you etc and how he will make a perfect husband.
4. Praise the bride, tell her how lucky she is to be getting the groom, tell her how pretty she is and how you couldn't have imagined a better match.
5. Thank everyone, bridesmaids, parents etc.
6. If you need to end with a funny line or two about the groom,
7. Do a toast, sit down and relax.

Just remember that you are not presenting to a group of lads, but a cross section of his family/her family and all their friends. So avoid anything smutty, no mention of ex girlfriends or anything that happened in previous relationships. No cursing etc, and avoid cheesy internet jokes as most people have heard them all already.

Remember, the audience wants to laugh at your speech, so they will giggle and laugh at anything remotely funny. They want to cry (or at least feel a little romantic) so don't be afraid to use the 'love' word, 'best friend', 'lucky girl' etc
You are there to make your groom proud of you, not there to impress the rest of the lads.

Did a best man speech earlier this summer. I was seriously stressed coming up to it but on the day it wasnt too bad. I didnt have the above suggestion but its pretty much what I did and worked out ok.

Just 2 other suggestions try and get speechs done before the meal so you can enjoy it and no one wants long speechs before the food. Secondly use cue cards to write your speech on, dont mess around with A4 sheets, the cue cards it makes it impossible to get lost and its easier to brake up speech

LynnGrace · 03-09-2014 3:09pm

You will do fine, some very good advice there. Keep it simple and sincere, and as said above, bear in mind who it is you are speaking to, i.e. a cross section of people of varying ages etc. I would just add there that little in-jokes which only make sense to a few, don't work.

Best of luck.

owen85 · 03-09-2014 3:19pm

i did my first ever best man speech not so long ago.
it ended up being about 10-13 mins long. we all agreed it was best to have the speeches before the dinner....cant recommend this enough.

i met up with the grooms men to run through the speech and alter it a bit.

i talked from the heart, it was my bros wedding so that was easy. some childhood memories that showed what a nice guy he is, followed then by a childhood memory that embarrassed the hell out of him. everyone was in tears laughing. keep in mind you dont want the joke to be too dirty or too embarrassing that he could take it the wrong way.

i threw in a few nice notes on the bride and how she was loved by my sister etc.

i was cleaning up the speech in the car on the way down to the wedding. i wasnt driving,,,,dont want any accidents while youre off thinking about the wedding. i ran through it again for a few mins during the drinks reception and had my post it notes with me during the actual speech.

important note, just relax. no one at the wedding will be judging your speech, everyone there is there for a good time. have your speech around the 10 min mark as people are getting hungry.

youl have fun, relax and enjoy.
have a few beers one night, stick on a movie and have the pen and paper out while you blurt out ideas for the speech

clint_silver · 04-09-2014 6:17am

There are some internet jokes that are not cheesey and not very well known.
Heard a speech last weekend and a guy rattled out 2 I hadn't heard before, genuinely clever and audience cracked up. Thought to myself that's off the web, no way a regular guy came up with them and sure enough I found a variation of them next day. Guy had obviously done a bit of work to reword them to suit himself and put in the groom in context.

For sure there are cheesey ones. Avoid the "everyone is so happy, even the wedding cake is in tiers" type.

chases0102 · 05-09-2014 10:49pm

Thanks for the advice folks - spending most of tomorrow putting to pen to paper, are your comments are very helpful...now to come up with some jokes!

Electric Sheep · 06-09-2014 1:40pm

Forget the five minutes, try to keep it to two or less. Seriously, no one really wants to listen to that crap.

zoobizoo · 06-09-2014 7:17pm

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Forget the five minutes, try to keep it to two or less. Seriously, no one really wants to listen to that crap.

I think you'll find that people want to listen to a decent and funny speech.

As for keeping it at two minutes or less, that would be an insult to the groom.

Sam Kade · 07-09-2014 9:52am

5
4
3
2
1
:eek:

nobody told me · 10-09-2014 5:37pm

Ok so quick question is it ok for the best man and groom to thank the same people in their speech, or who should the best man thank?

jackofalltrades · 11-09-2014 4:01pm

zoobizoo wrote: »

I think you'll find that people want to listen to a decent and funny speech.

As for keeping it at two minutes or less, that would be an insult to the groom.

Really? It's very hard to write a decent/funny speech.
Also public speaking is the number one fear that people have.

I'd be happy with whatever a Best Man could come up with, as long as he puts some kind of effort into it.

El Weirdo · 11-09-2014 4:10pm

nobody told me wrote: »

Ok so quick question is it ok for the best man and groom to thank the same people in their speech, or who should the best man thank?

The way we did it for my brother's wedding the other week was, he thanked everyone, and the only person I thanked was him for asking me to be his best man. There are no hard and fast rules though.

faceman · 11-09-2014 5:54pm

nobody told me wrote: »

Ok so quick question is it ok for the best man and groom to thank the same people in their speech, or who should the best man thank?

Generally speaking the groom thanks the two fathers, his parents, the venue and obviously finishes then with a few words about his missus. It's usually the groom who calls for the presentation of flowers for the mammies if you're doing that thing.

The best man proposes a toast to the bridesmaids and does a bit about how lucky groom is to have met his missus.

Despite what you think there is no pressure on the groom to be funny. A touching speech is often more appreciated than a funny one.

tastyt · 11-09-2014 6:04pm

Was only ever at one wedding that the best man speech was a disaster. The reason being that the best man was basically talking to one table of lads with a load of in jokes and alienating the rest of the room. He wasn't even finishing stories but laughing and saying stuff like '' Johnny and walshy down there know what I'm talking about hahaha '' .

Talk to the room,if you do they will all help you through it, don't try to be a hero, the day is not about you. Youl be grand

Help!!!! · 11-09-2014 6:09pm

Ask the groom what he wants
I told my best man (brother) to welcome the missus into the family, say thanks to everyone for coming & enjoy the night....that was it
Some speeches start to bore the guests

TheBigGreen · 17-09-2014 2:55pm

How did you get on with the speech?

I'm the best man for the brother's wedding next month. This thread is helping alot for my speech.

Sala · 17-09-2014 4:01pm

Best men - Keep it clean!! My friend was at a family wedding where the best man went OTT with the dirty jokes ie. the bride gets around and the like. Apparently everyone was cringing and the only person who thought it was funny was himself. He also upset the bride a lot - you'd know she was the type of person who would not appreciate it so to do that on her wedding day was just cruel.

Oliver1985 · 11-01-2015 7:55pm

Hi guys don't want to start a new thread but looking for similar advice , I'm starting early I've to give the best mans speech in April for my childhood friend to 140 people. As u can imagine I've the usual nerves .writing the speech hasn't been a bother apart from the stories part. I'm struggling to put something in we are 37 now and most stories are just general going out and getting drunk, struggling to incorporate them into th speech. Any advice would be great

nosietoes · 12-01-2015 5:37am

In all your years is there any incident that stands out as showing why he's your best mate rather than just some bloke you like to go out drinking with? Some slightly funny story that contains some humanity in it that makes him look good? Or fúck being funny and share some genuine moment along with some anecdote about how you realised he was serious about now wife...

robbiezero · 12-01-2015 9:04am

Wouldn't recommend having the speeches before the meals. While it is hard on the speakers during the meal, the audience is much more receptive and after being well fed and wined, they are only dying to have a laugh.
Before the meal you have a hungry and somewhat impatient audience, and if some of the speakers before the best man go on a bit long, it will be a tough job to grab their attention.

hmmm · 12-01-2015 12:38pm

Anything with an Internet joke should be avoided I think, it sounds so false. Ideally you can throw in a funny story or two, but if you can't or feel you will mess it up, the best speeches are nice and simple, how much you value their friendship, welcome the bride, have a toast at the end etc. No-one is going to even remember your speech 15 minutes later, and to be honest, almost no-one cares.

skallywag · 12-01-2015 3:57pm

I would definitely keep it to 5 minutes or less. This should be no issue as you can say an awful lot in 5 minutes. I would definitely co-ordinate with the groom, it won't look at all slick if ye end up covering the same ground we thanking people etc.

Witty is good, but be very careful about anything humorous you say about the bride, it can be very difficult to pull this off and it can go down like a lead balloon. I've been to a wedding once where the bride was so p!ssed off with some of the comments which the best man made about her that she had to grab the mike and give an impromptu speech herself afterwards, just so that the last thing that everyone remembered re the speeches was not the best man's one! The groom on the other hand is deemed an easier and more acceptable target.

I'm all for speeches before the meal myself, those who are speaking will certainly appreciate this.

heldel00 · 12-01-2015 4:03pm

Don't have any "private" jokes in speech. Iv been to a few weddings where this has been done and everyone except maybe 4/5 people in the room going "wha?"

Our own best man did this too and it sounds stupid on the DVD cos silence just fell across the room! Even I couldn't remember the incident he was talking about but pretended to laugh!

zoobizoo · 12-01-2015 4:04pm

Holiday stories
Sharing houses stories
Car stories
Sports stories
College stories
Work stories
Psycho girlfriend stories
School stories

The Peanut · 12-01-2015 4:08pm

zoobizoo wrote: »

Holiday stories
Sharing houses stories
Car stories
Sports stories
College stories
Work stories
Psycho girlfriend stories
School stories

This is a no-no for me. Previous girlfriends do not exist; only the bride.

fits · 12-01-2015 5:46pm

We plan on just me and the groom speaking. Don't see the point of a best man speech at all.

pooch90 · 12-01-2015 7:34pm

Don't do what our 'best' man did and basically talk about their mother for the entire thing, with a ,'groom you are a good man and bride you look nice' thrown in. And sh1te on about how much they love drinking and bang on pointlessly for ten minutes when 2 was painful enough.

Liam McPoyle · 12-01-2015 9:36pm

Oliver1985 wrote: »

Hi guys don't want to start a new thread but looking for similar advice , I'm starting early I've to give the best mans speech in April for my childhood friend to 140 people. As u can imagine I've the usual nerves .writing the speech hasn't been a bother apart from the stories part. I'm struggling to put something in we are 37 now and most stories are just general going out and getting drunk, struggling to incorporate them into th speech. Any advice would be great

Perhaps something you can give him a bit of a rub about, an embarrassing childhood toy or habit he had, his favourite cartoon etc.

People wont be expecting to be rolling in the aisles.

The best best man speeches I ever heard were ones that were from the heart and with a little bit of humour thrown in.

The Peanut · 12-01-2015 10:20pm

Oliver1985 wrote: »

Hi guys don't want to start a new thread but looking for similar advice , I'm starting early I've to give the best mans speech in April for my childhood friend to 140 people. As u can imagine I've the usual nerves .writing the speech hasn't been a bother apart from the stories part. I'm struggling to put something in we are 37 now and most stories are just general going out and getting drunk, struggling to incorporate them into th speech. Any advice would be great

The most important thing is sincerity. As you are both 37, I'm going to assume that the bride is probably in her thirties too. You'll all have been to many weddings at this stage so think back to what work best.

- Don't be drunk. A little alcohol can steady nerves but too much usually ends up with unsuitable or improper things being said.
- Be yourself. You were picked as best man for a reason.
- Don't try too hard. We're not all natural comedians and it's not a comedy show.

I've been best man a few times and when I was younger I tried too hard. If you don't have specific stories you could use broader references; compare his life before and after meeting his bride. Nothing too revealing or rude; how he has improved in so many ways since he met his bride but talk about it in a playful way. Ensure the bride comes out of the chat in a very positive light.

Be as relaxed as you can; the guests are on your side and want you to do well.:D

BabysCoffee · 12-01-2015 10:27pm

Don't curse during your speech (yes I was at a wedding where the best man cursed!!) and you won't go wrong

zoobizoo · 13-01-2015 11:10am

The Peanut wrote: »

This is a no-no for me. Previous girlfriends do not exist; only the bride.

Normally I would agree but if the groom has a habit of dating psychos before this woman then it can be used to great comic effect... the family and friends will all get it.

If done well that is.

faceman · 13-01-2015 2:33pm

fits wrote: »

We plan on just me and the groom speaking. Don't see the point of a best man speech at all.

Doesn't say much about your faith in the Best Man!

(Joking)

Oliver1985 · 18-01-2015 1:28pm

Ok many thanks for the advice guys. So apart from the stories my speech is timing around 5 mins with everyone thanked and a serious part and toast at end.
So I'm just gonna put in how I know the groom for stories , I was just maybe worried about trying to be funny when it's not really my personality

The Peanut · 18-01-2015 3:08pm

Oliver1985 wrote: »

Ok many thanks for the advice guys. So apart from the stories my speech is timing around 5 mins with everyone thanked and a serious part and toast at end.
So I'm just gonna put in how I know the groom for stories , I was just maybe worried about trying to be funny when it's not really my personality

Good man, well done and enjoy the day.

Arbiter of Good Taste · 19-01-2015 6:50pm

zoobizoo wrote: »

Normally I would agree but if the groom has a habit of dating psychos before this woman then it can be used to great comic effect... the family and friends will all get it.

If done well that is.

No no no no no no no. Never. It is a massive insult to the bride and her family

Hrududu · 19-01-2015 8:21pm

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

No no no no no no no. Never. It is a massive insult to the bride and her family

Plus some might see it as a sly dig at the bride. If he has a habit of dating psychos then what does that make her?

Best Man Speech

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