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break up with kids involved

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  • 30-09-2014 10:56am
    #1
    ddoylers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 54 ✭✭


    Thank you


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    #2
    endacl
    Registered Users Posts: 22,237 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    If you've lived together in the house as a couple, she'll have a beneficial interest in the house. Doesn't matter who paid for what.

    Sounds tough. If I were you I'd try mediation first. Once you get the lawyers/courts involved things get very expensive very fast. With kids involved, you need to get this sorted quickly, cleanly, and transparently.


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    #3
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    OP best thing you can do is immediately seek legal advice, don't change your living arrangements until you do.
    But also get in touch with amen.ie if you are being physically abused. My concern would be though if she is lashing out at you could this be redirected to the children after you leave.

    Either way you need immediate advice on what to expect, irrespective of her paying or not towards the mortgage there you might be in for a bit of a shock, but a solicitor can better advise you.


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    #4
    ddoylers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 54 ✭✭ddoylers


    Thanks for replies. .
    Ya we were suppose to go mediation this fri but she said shes not going now. She says shes not doing things my way . All I want is to be fair. I don't mind losing house even after all I put in to it. afterall its my kids that r going to be living there and im happy with that. Jus wish the ground would swallow me up. She wants solicitor route now and I don't care .would I be a fool to represent myself. I don't want to spend more money . I just want it sortd..


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    #5
    columf
    Registered Users Posts: 70 ✭✭columf


    ddoylers wrote: »
    Thanks for replies. .
    Ya we were suppose to go mediation this fri but she said shes not going now. She says shes not doing things my way . All I want is to be fair. I don't mind losing house even after all I put in to it. afterall its my kids that r going to be living there and im happy with that. Jus wish the ground would swallow me up. She wants solicitor route now and I don't care .would I be a fool to represent myself. I don't want to spend more money . I just want it sortd..

    I would think representing yourself would not be a wise course of action.


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    #6
    ddoylers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 54 ✭✭ddoylers


    I don't want anything to be honest. All I want is for my kids too be happy.


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    #7
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Look if she is going to fight you and won't go to mediation for an amicable split then you really do need proper representation in case it turns nastier.


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    #8
    endacl
    Registered Users Posts: 22,237 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    ddoylers wrote: »
    I don't want anything to be honest. All I want is for my kids too be happy.

    A noble sentiment, but you do have a responsibility to yourself as well. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be as much use to your kids.


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    #9
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,016 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    ddoylers wrote: »
    I don't want anything to be honest. All I want is for my kids too be happy.

    How happy will they be if Daddy hasn't got two pennies to rub together because Mammy got a good solicitor and Daddy represented himself? Sorry to be harsh but you need to do whatever is necessary to make sure the outcome is fair on both you and your partner and that your kids end up with two happy parents, albeit separated and no longer under the one roof.


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    #10
    Lambofdave
    Registered Users Posts: 282 ✭✭Lambofdave


    I find some of the OPs comments worrying to say the least.


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    #11
    ddoylers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 54 ✭✭ddoylers


    Thanks guys&girls. Its good to ere other opinions. Gona get help.


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    #12
    endacl
    Registered Users Posts: 22,237 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    ddoylers wrote: »
    Thanks guys&girls. Its good to ere other opinions. Gona get help.

    One step at a time. Think about each one. No hasty decisions.


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    #13
    rdhma
    Registered Users Posts: 228 ✭✭rdhma


    ddoylers wrote: »
    recently she has started physically attacking me. Punching and throwing things at me..

    Were the roles reversed, the Gardai would likely have been called. This is a criminal matter.
    Could you capture this on a hidden camera perhaps?
    An assault charge for her would surely have a bearing on custody.


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    #14
    Payton
    Registered Users Posts: 1,660 ✭✭✭Payton


    rdhma wrote: »
    Could you capture this on a hidden camera perhaps?
    .

    Entrapment... frowned upon in court!


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    #15
    blowin3
    Registered Users Posts: 477 ✭✭blowin3


    Believe me and I have been trough divorce and came out the other side poorer but happier re married with my own home and child with my new partner. What I learnt was talking counseling was what sorted my ex and I out not solictors. It was the worst time of my life and I am sure for my ex but you do get trough it and life becomes good again. My ex and I are now friends again after we got the lawyers out of our life's.


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    #16
    cgh
    Registered Users Posts: 2,180 ✭✭✭cgh


    OP,

    bear in mind that the first thing a solicitor would do is recommend mediation.
    your wife when she goes will be told the same thing.

    so hopefully when she does go to get legal advice she will come around to the idea.


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    #17
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users Posts: 13,406 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Payton wrote: »
    Entrapment... frowned upon in court!

    It's not even anything close to entrapment :rolleyes:


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    #18
    rdhma
    Registered Users Posts: 228 ✭✭rdhma


    Entrapment is inducing a person to commit a crime, not recording it.


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