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Liveline thread 16/09/2014 to 26/11/2014

1100101103105106197

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    Some yolk….JESUS.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    neris wrote: »
    callers husband wiped his mickey in his hankey and made her put it in the washing machine after

    Saves the curtains, though


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,886 ✭✭✭✭Roger_007


    What's wrong with using the back of your sleeve?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    Meathlass wrote: »
    What is this one on!!

    easier to list the things she isnt on


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,066 ✭✭✭✭neris


    snubbleste wrote: »
    What does Joe smell of?

    urine


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 31,117 ✭✭✭✭snubbleste


    Some yolk….JESUS.
    Some yoke, no?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    snubbleste wrote: »
    What does Joe smell of?

    L'Eau Du Coddle.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,023 ✭✭✭Meathlass


    Was I the only one who used to squeeze the hand of the person next to me during the sign of peace to try and make them cry with pain when I was a child?

    No, .... just me so.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    snubbleste wrote: »
    Some yoke, no?

    Yes, but it was an egg related pun so chose to spell it as such.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    Meathlass wrote: »
    Was I the only one who used to squeeze the hand of the person next to me during the sign of peace to try and make them cry with pain when I was a child?

    No, .... just me so.

    Nope, I was "that" child too.

    And also taking your hand away just as they went to shake your hand.


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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Thanks for the huge entertainment guys and girls; Happy Hour calls here.... See you tomorrow


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,001 ✭✭✭✭Flukey


    You've more chance of being hit by a bus than catching ebola on it. It is probably better not to shake the hands of those women in case you catch the stupidity disease they seem to have.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,879 ✭✭✭signostic


    Mooney today for anyone who cares to listen - Mr Gay Ireland competition - Newstalk for me...


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,619 ✭✭✭Fujitsu10


    Very disappointed that the Visitors to Cork for the swinger party didn't get a mention. Notice how I suggest that there won't be any of my fellow Cork people in attendance....??


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,066 ✭✭✭✭neris


    Fujitsu10 wrote: »
    Very disappointed that the Visitors to Cork for the swinger party didn't get a mention. Notice how I suggest that there won't be any of my fellow Cork people in attendance....??

    as much of a laugh as youd get out of swinging being discussed on liveline id say its somewhere near the top of the "nver to be discussed topics list" along with joes salary fees, crime in ballyfermot and Guineys really being a ****e shop.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    neris wrote: »
    as much of a laugh as youd get out of swinging being discussed on liveline id say its somewhere near the top of the "nver to be discussed topics list" along with joes salary fees, crime in ballyfermot and Guineys really being a ****e shop.

    Joe was very quiet alright when the first caller was asking "how on earth could anyone charge nearly 4 grand for 2 hours work?". Joe charges more for an hour!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,917 ✭✭✭BarryD


    Joe was very quiet alright when the first caller was asking "how on earth could anyone charge nearly 4 grand for 2 hours work?". Joe charges more for an hour!

    Ah, but Joe doesn't charge 4 grand for an hour or whatever. In his mind, he's paid this by RTE on account of his Midas touch with the public. It's a different mindset - you either have it or you don't!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 39,906 ✭✭✭✭Dan Jaman


    Roger_007 wrote: »
    Are there any BAD Smaritans?

    I've a dreadful feeling the rest of them must have been utter b$stards, if the good ones stood out so much, and were worthy of note.
    Вашему собственному бычьему дерьму нельзя верить - V Putin
    




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 53,028 ✭✭✭✭ButtersSuki


    BarryD wrote: »
    Ah, but Joe doesn't charge 4 grand for an hour or whatever. In his mind, he's paid this by RTE on account of his Midas touch with the public. It's a different mindset - you either have it or you don't!

    There's a lot of things that happen in Joe's mind that don't happen in many other peoples' minds alright……...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 39,906 ✭✭✭✭Dan Jaman


    Joe was very quiet alright when the first caller was asking "how on earth could anyone charge nearly 4 grand for 2 hours work?". Joe charges more for an hour!

    I bought my shiny new TV licence today and felt warm glow of satisfaction knowing that I'd saved the talents of JD for at least five minutes.
    How dreadful would it be if nobody paid for him - why, we simply couldn't exist without his wonderful presence shining upon us.
    Don't go, Joe - here, take this, it's only money after all.
    Вашему собственному бычьему дерьму нельзя верить - V Putin
    




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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,525 ✭✭✭Mike Guide 69


    Couldnt post yesterday as i was on a half day in the dentists, but the entertainment didnt end there, as my dentist actually had Liveline on a tannoy system in the waiting room, but the laughs that erupted after the fella chatting about pumping the foam into the wall and with the flame shooting out the wall was unreal, everyone was in bits. Even the dentist when i went in, said to me "that fella was some muppet nearly burning his house down with the foam, what??", ah classic liveline at its best !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,833 ✭✭✭✭ThisRegard


    Didn't hear yesterday, but was that guy with the foam insulation issue the same guy with the thread about his kitchen almost blowing up over in the DIY forum?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,023 ✭✭✭Meathlass


    ThisRegard wrote: »
    Didn't hear yesterday, but was that guy with the foam insulation issue the same guy with the thread about his kitchen almost blowing up over in the DIY forum?

    Yes :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,066 ✭✭✭✭neris


    Meathlass wrote: »
    Yes :pac:

    The Mods need to give him a ban for A) not mentioning Boards & B) not asking joe how the leg was


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,530 ✭✭✭✭HeidiHeidi


    WFT?

    In true Joe tradition, I only heard half of the item yesterday and about a quarter of his bit about it in the promo just now, but.....

    The escalator down which one/two people fell was at the Connolly Luas stop, yes? *

    Firstly it's not "extraORdinarily steep". It's normal escalator pitch. As someone posted yesterday, they should try some of the London underground escalators sometime for speed and pitch :eek:

    Secondly, "should an alternative be available/signposted". The stairs down to the Luas stop are about 15 feet away FFS!!!

    Thirdly, "a stop button". Well I can't say 100% for sure, but I'll eat my hat and donate my next week's wages to some charity for the "unwell" if there isn't a stop button on those escalators somewhere.

    The feckin Daily Tabloid Star Express World wouldn't make up **** like this :rolleyes:



    *All of the above should be ignored if I misheard and it wasn't actually the Connolly Luas stop escalator. But he still makes stuff up.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 39,906 ✭✭✭✭Dan Jaman


    HeidiHeidi wrote: »
    !

    Thirdly, "a stop button". Well I can't say 100% for sure, but I'll eat my hat and donate my next week's wages to some charity for the "unwell" if there isn't a stop button on those escalators somewhere.

    Your money's safe - it is an utter requirement for a stop button to be fitted and be obvious even to the stupid.
    Вашему собственному бычьему дерьму нельзя верить - V Putin
    




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,636 ✭✭✭✭McDermotX


    Irish Water FTW !! :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,657 ✭✭✭CountyHurler


    "Cos I dont have a job, Joe, and I've nothing better to do"


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,619 ✭✭✭Fujitsu10


    What a start to the program.... `The Bould JOD..


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,879 ✭✭✭signostic


    ah John, welcome to da lavlahn, where have you been all this time?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    poor John


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 39,906 ✭✭✭✭Dan Jaman


    JO'D on speed-dial.
    Вашему собственному бычьему дерьму нельзя верить - V Putin
    




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,882 ✭✭✭✭Rock Lesnar


    Liveline shocker, John from cork is on... again


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,833 ✭✭✭✭ThisRegard


    Ah ffs, JOD from Cork and Irish water.

    **** this ****, I'm done with current affairs for the immediate future.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,657 ✭✭✭CountyHurler


    the difference being that nobody elected you do to anything John... Nobody was prepared to even elect you to a position of employment..


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,636 ✭✭✭✭McDermotX


    How dare they !!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    cant understand what he is saying now:confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,657 ✭✭✭CountyHurler


    "Do you support them, mr Sinn Fein representative... "

    *SF guy wets finger and puts it in the air*

    "Yes, I do Joe"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 39,906 ✭✭✭✭Dan Jaman


    Claim expenses? I'd say Joe knows a lot about that.
    Вашему собственному бычьему дерьму нельзя верить - V Putin
    




  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Sorry, how do I get subtitles on the radio??


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 943 ✭✭✭Big C


    boardsies are speechless


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,619 ✭✭✭Fujitsu10


    Sorry, how do I get subtitles on the radio??


    Nothing worth translating from what I can tell. We all heard this before.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Fujitsu10 wrote: »
    Nothing worth translating from what I can tell. We all heard this before.

    It sounds like he's got his phone in his sock


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,336 ✭✭✭Hamilcar


    Tag the rag out of your mouth


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,336 ✭✭✭Hamilcar


    Where do ye get the money for all the posters


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Maybe he's got his mouth in his sock?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,766 ✭✭✭JM Skipton


    Miah on line 1 and Cha on line 2 waiting to add to the corkcentricity


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,879 ✭✭✭signostic


    Fujitsu10 wrote: »
    Nothing worth translating from what I can tell. We all heard this before.
    Corkese as opposed to Dublinese at its finest today


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,619 ✭✭✭Fujitsu10


    signostic wrote: »
    Corkese as opposed to Dublinese at its finest today

    I'm fluent in Corkese if anyone needs assistance!! :D:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,023 ✭✭✭Meathlass


    Because we need a capital injection of funds for investment for new water infrastructure


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This discussion has been closed.
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