Moved back to Ireland and questioning it!

catbear · 02-03-2015 1:28am

Little Sunshine wrote: »

Someone once said to me that the hardest decision you will make is not leaving Irel but deciding to go back!!!!!

I've done it twice! The trick is to not think of it as for ever! So many people do. I've come and gone so many times to my hometown people don't bother asking me if I'm back for good anymore! The world is a much smaller place than when the last great migration wave back in the 80s, pre Ryanair when Aerlingus would f**k you over and expect you to say thanks!

InTheTrees · 02-03-2015 1:33am

Great thread.

I'm 20+ years in America and think about home a lot.

But I'm not sure I could endure Ireland full time.

feargale · 02-03-2015 1:54am

acb wrote: »

Its just insurance companies taking advantage.

I hope I'm not off topic, but compulsory insurance or any other legal requirement operated by private interests will always lead to the customer being screwed. You are required to insure, therefore you have no bargaining power, the insurers have you over a barrel. And in a greedy corrupt country you will be taken for a ride. Motor insurance should be nationalised. Ditto NCT. And don't start me on the privatisation of prisons

Cooperspale · 02-03-2015 6:04am

Little Sunshine wrote: »

Some good posts on this thread - i'm here 2.5 yrs - came on PR on my own - with no family or friends - no problem getting work but the issue is that a lot of people i have met along the way have either moved interstate, overseas (NZ or Canada) or back home to Irel. Feeling pretty lonely now & finding it difficult to make new friends -constantly feel when i meet someone , how long before they leave too. I'm single mid 30's - u would think that it would be easy to make friends but couples tend to b very clicky & families tend to socialise together which i understand. So where do i fit in?

I agree, some great posts here.
I also came out alone on PR, by the end of the year I've just realised, it will be 10 years!
I left Irl late Autumn & arrived for Melbourne Cup. Time of year makes a big difference and I'm not surprised original poster was feeling down leaving Oz in high summer going into Irish winter.

I never really made that many Irish friends here (it wasn't the intention) so there has been less of that loss that I had experienced years earlier as a backpacker. I understand that some of us like that link to home through other Irish people but sometimes it can be a bit of a block to settling here. Almost like a Catch-22. You want someone to understand that black sense of Irish humour sometimes & not have to explain yourself. You want a cup of tea, not Early Grey or English Breakfast or Green Sencha just tea.

I work (with the public) in St Kilda and noticed in the last 6 months there's been a bit of a shift in mindset about Irish returning home, where once it wasn't an attractive option, the shine has now worn off the Aussie life for some & things ( I hear) are picking up somewhat back home. I'm seeing either singles or Irish/Irish and they've been here 2.5-5 years & their plan was never for the long term.

Little sunshine, single mid 30's is definitely not the easiest age to find long term friends, between couples and those with young families, (either here or in Ireland) I'd think it could be the toughest time. Try dating an Aussie/non Irish if you're not already on it try meetup.com, a sports club in your area &/or consider volunteering in a local group. You have to put yourself out there which can seem like a real chore some days, to get an idea of where you'd like to fit in.

William F · 02-03-2015 7:55am

feargale wrote: »

I hope I'm not off topic, but compulsory insurance or any other legal requirement operated by private interests will always lead to the customer being screwed. You are required to insure, therefore you have no bargaining power, the insurers have you over a barrel. And in a greedy corrupt country you will be taken for a ride. Motor insurance should be nationalised. Ditto NCT. And don't start me on the privatisation of prisons

I'm in nz at the moment, a country about equal size as Ireland in terms of population, but a country far higher in terms of road fatalities and car accidents.

Yet irish insurance companies are unable to give me a genuine reason as to why I pay almost 4 times more motorcycle insurance in ire than in nz.

scumbags is right and this is a country where vehicle insurance isnt compulsory

Little Sunshine · 02-03-2015 8:47am

Meetup is great - have met some non Irish through that and to be honest I would be completely lost without it. I don't want to surround myself with all Irish - I live with an Aussie & a Kiwi, & work with Aussie's and English people. I am actively involved in volunteering and have just joined a sports club - definitely putting myself out there. In relation to dating well that's even a chore - Aussies definitely don't get the Irish sense of humour & guys don't seem to approach girls these days - I'm a 21st century girl and have approached guys on nites out just to chat but they seem to be non receptive!

bruschi · 02-03-2015 10:29am

Everything is relative, and everything is individual. There can be no one solution for all, nor does every decision mean people will agree with it or think the same way.

For myself, I'm back living in Ireland a good while and married to an Australian. I moved back here just before everything went bad (mid to late noughties) so I've been right in the middle of the downturn. Maybe we were lucky, maybe we fell on our feet, but we have always been employed or found work when jobs were lost. My wife has a job now that she would never have got or been so highly ranked in Australia. My own work life has been fine here, and I'm going out on my own soon enough.

The biggest thing though has been able to set up our lives here easier than we would have in Australia. We built a house on family land, for a lot less than an equivalent house in Australia. I live by the coast, so the scenery and uniqueness of the area I am in is as good as you would get anywhere. And most of all, we have family and friends close by to support us. We have a young family, and having people around to help out with babysitting or minding them, or just being there to help out we wouldnt have the same level of support in Australia.

There is no dount, the weather here is crap in Winter, but the long evenings here, and being able to walk out in the countryside, or go out by the beach and cliffs in summertime is unmatched IMO. My wife has family and firends who come here and cant believe our luck in where we live, and they are the ones envious of our home. It's all relative. There are times when its miserable here, and the kids want to go out and play, and you'd wonder why dont we go over there, but at this moment in time it really wouldnt suit us, and our lives are far better in Ireland right now for us.

We've been back a few times, and the holidays can be great and make you think what could have been, but more often than not we are at the end of them waiting to come back home and get back to where we live.

universe777 · 02-03-2015 2:23pm

Little Sunshine wrote: »

Some good posts on this thread - i'm here 2.5 yrs - came on PR on my own - with no family or friends - no problem getting work but the issue is that a lot of people i have met along the way have either moved interstate, overseas (NZ or Canada) or back home to Irel. Feeling pretty lonely now & finding it difficult to make new friends -constantly feel when i meet someone , how long before they leave too. I'm single mid 30's - u would think that it would be easy to make friends but couples tend to b very clicky & families tend to socialise together which i understand. So where do i fit in?
Considering relocating back to irel - have even seen some jobs which is kinda funny cause i was unemployed for a year before I left. I know my friends & family - especially my mam would be delighted if went back.
Someone once said to me that the hardest decision you will make is not leaving Irel but deciding to go back!!!!!

Here 5 years and similar age, it's tough! People don't stick around longer than a year generally

massdebater · 02-03-2015 9:19pm

Little Sunshine wrote: »

Some good posts on this thread - i'm here 2.5 yrs - came on PR on my own - with no family or friends - no problem getting work but the issue is that a lot of people i have met along the way have either moved interstate, overseas (NZ or Canada) or back home to Irel. Feeling pretty lonely now & finding it difficult to make new friends -constantly feel when i meet someone , how long before they leave too. I'm single mid 30's - u would think that it would be easy to make friends but couples tend to b very clicky & families tend to socialise together which i understand. So where do i fit in?

Your problem seems to be that you keep making friends with only irish people. I moved here solo too and my first group of friends were irish. Of course, they left after about 8 months which sucked so I decided to make a group of aussie friends instead of going through the same heartache again. Was more difficult breaking into an 'established' group of aussies but now I have a great core group of friends who I know will be here for the long term. It's made my decision to stay here much easier and I don't have to go through the pain of watching all my friends leave.

Alt J · 04-03-2015 12:50am

OP, moved back too Ireland after two years in Melbourne, my whv ran out. Im home a month and finding it difficult too, I thought it would be the weather etc but its the little things like jumping on a tram, going to the city for a coffee on my days off etc etc. Like you I left a lot of friends there too, and also a girlfriend, trying my best to get back

. Best of luck

ArseBurger · 04-03-2015 3:19am

massdebater wrote: »

Your problem seems to be that you keep making friends with only irish people. I moved here solo too and my first group of friends were irish. Of course, they left after about 8 months which sucked so I decided to make a group of aussie friends instead of going through the same heartache again. Was more difficult breaking into an 'established' group of aussies but now I have a great core group of friends who I know will be here for the long term. It's made my decision to stay here much easier and I don't have to go through the pain of watching all my friends leave.

This.

We've a good mix of established expats (mostly non-Irish) and Aussie friends. I know people who won't engage with you unless you've been here for a few years and are on a PR track. They've been emotionally burned too many times before.

Get out there and break away from groups of only Irish on WHVs. Get to know the people who live here. Otherwise it's just a ghetto life.

Caveman1 · 04-03-2015 9:28am

Not sure if anyone has been in the same situation, came to melbourne with the girlfriend last year with the intention of trying to get sponsored, I was the one who pushed coming out more so than her, we absolutely loved melbourne and made lots of friends and had good jobs, thing is we couldn't get sponsored with the companies that we were with but the opportunity arose for my girlfriend to go to Sydney to a job that are willing to sponsor her. We've been in Sydney 2 months now and for some reason I absolutely hate it, she loves the job and is happy with the city, I have a really good job too making more money than I've ever made but still can't settle. I'm strongly considering going home but don't want to regret it after a few weeks. I know I would have a job back home and a place to stay but I don't wanna feel like I'm giving up what's always been a dream because of a few bad weeks.
I have until the end of April until I have to decide so hopefully by then I'll know what I want, but at the moment I'm at a loss just can't shake wanting to leave.

markymark21 · 06-03-2015 1:48am

Cooperspale wrote: »

I work (with the public) in St Kilda and noticed in the last 6 months there's been a bit of a shift in mindset about Irish returning home, where once it wasn't an attractive option, the shine has now worn off the Aussie life for some & things ( I hear) are picking up somewhat back home. I'm seeing either singles or Irish/Irish and they've been here 2.5-5 years & their plan was never for the long term.

I work in a venue in St Kilda and it amazing how few Irish are kicking about St Kilda compared to two, even one year ago. We used to have big groups in having breakfast, drinks during the afternoon etc. Now most of the groups we see are the ones who have kids or the ones having leaving parties for their mates.

lg123 · 07-03-2015 2:08am

markymark21 wrote: »

I work in a venue in St Kilda and it amazing how few Irish are kicking about St Kilda compared to two, even one year ago. We used to have big groups in having breakfast, drinks during the afternoon etc. Now most of the groups we see are the ones who have kids or the ones having leaving parties for their mates.

ya, i think the cool place to go is now canada and the ones who are coming down under are heading west first. when discussing with my younger brothers how much longer they were going to stay on the dole before giving a stint abroad a go, it was the US or canada they were thinking about. no consideration of down here, which probably isn't a bad thing. the decision to stay would be much easier if it wasn't so far away.

ghogie91 · 07-03-2015 2:19am

Very simple answer is:

Do not come back to this country in its current state!
It's a grey, wet, corrupt, grimey struggle. Our news daily is depressing, our government are totally corrupt, there is no opportunity, everything is too expensive, weather is all over the place and the general feeling and happiness of the people is just about all sucked out of us at this stage!

Jamie2k9 · 07-03-2015 2:35am

ghogie91 wrote: »

Very simple answer is:

Do not come back to this country in its current state!
It's a grey, wet, corrupt, grimey struggle. Our news daily is depressing, our government are totally corrupt, there is no opportunity, everything is too expensive, weather is all over the place and the general feeling and happiness of the people is just about all sucked out of us at this stage!

That big chip on your shoulder is the only thing weighing you down!

Things are different but getting much better and those 14,000 Irish who returned home last year didn't for no reason and then a further 56,000 moved here to.

Plenty of opportunities for the educated, only problem is Irish people love to moan at anything but I'm sure anybody coming back can just avoid those types in your social circle.

ghogie91 · 07-03-2015 2:41am

Jamie2k9 wrote: »

That big chip on your shoulder is the only thing weighing you down!

Things are different but getting much better and those 14,000 Irish who returned home last year didn't for no reason and then a further 56,000 moved here to.

Plenty of opportunities for the educated, only problem is Irish people love to moan at anything but I'm sure anybody coming back can just avoid those types in your social circle.

Jamie, I am one of the lucky ones who got a good job and am not victim to the current economic mess the country is in.
There are many factors that would weigh a person down in this country and people coming from Oz need to know that they are not returning to the land of the green Hills with postman pat the friendly postman who you see every Friday and Saturday night in the pub for a pint! Ireland has changed, its sad to see and hear the stories daily of what the people of this country have to do to try get a break to have some ease of living

catbear · 07-03-2015 3:02am

Just not listening to Joe Duffy vastly improves ones standard of living in Ireland.

jimd2 · 07-03-2015 3:49am

ghogie91 wrote: »

Very simple answer is:

Do not come back to this country in its current state!
It's a grey, wet, corrupt, grimey struggle. Our news daily is depressing, our government are totally corrupt, there is no opportunity, everything is too expensive, weather is all over the place and the general feeling and happiness of the people is just about all sucked out of us at this stage!

I am not happy with some of the decisions of the government but it is incorrect to say that it is totally corrupt. There are lots of positives to living in Ireland, I for one am happy to be still living and rearing a family here.

Panda_Turtle · 11-03-2015 12:23pm

Want to move back to ireland partly cause the football is on at crazy times of the morning.

lg123 · 13-03-2015 9:17am

Panda_Turtle wrote: »

Want to move back to ireland partly cause the football is on at crazy times of the morning.

i remember when life was that simple

Chocolate fiend · 16-03-2015 8:08am

We have been in your shoes OP. We spent 3 years in Melbourne, and then moved back to Ireland in 2008 with our 6 month old baby. Within two weeks we were so sorry we had come home for good, and not just a holiday. Added to that I realised I was pregnant again and felt just horrible.

Fast forward to now, we moved back to Australia in 2012, we have 3 children now and we live in Sydney. My husband works hard but, the rewards are great. Two of the children are in school, and that has opened up a huge social scene that revolves around family and really works for us. We don't have family here, we don't have babysitters on tap, but, we do have a good life and the children are so happy and healthy and outdoors all the time. They are never sick, they play cricket and soccer, they swim, they really don't actually know how good they have it.

We are going for PR now, and I guess it has gotten me thinking, can I say we are here "forever" that is pretty hard, my family don't travel so they will never come to visit us and that really upsets me. I really wish they would come. My husbands family will come, they are due to come this time next year and I am already looking forward to that. Is looking forward to a visit that is a year away any way to live though? I am not always sure. I am mostly happy, but, sometimes the homesickness hits like a physical thing. I was having coffee last Friday morning and a group of Irish guys came in to the coffee shop, it was just me and them in there, and to hear the accents and the craic, I felt like I was home and tears came to my eyes. I don't think that will ever go away.

Tomorrow is St Patricks day, the boys will go to school wearing their St Patricks day badges and be proud of where they come from, but, they don't really feel like Ireland is home. This is their home.

SF12 · 16-03-2015 10:02am

Haven't emigrated, (and found this thread on the Boards homepage), but I'll say one thing to the OP.

Like most other students in the 2000s, I did a J1 in the States. I was there for several months. When I came back, I was hit by a complete shock to my system that I really didn't expect. It took me several weeks to settle back into Ireland. Totally took me by surprise, because I had only been away a few months. You only think about settling into the new place, now about re-settling in when you get home. Didn't see that coming.

I guess what I'm saying is that your original post was 4 weeks after you moved back. How long did it take you to settle properly into Australia? I'm guessing a bit longer than 4 weeks? Give yourself and your family a chance to settle back properly, if needs be put a time limit on it and maybe agree to discuss it again in 6 months or something. And there's probably always going to be things you miss about Australia. There's no real "right" decision in all of this, we can't measure in material terms things like being able to have an outdoors life vs being able to know your grandparents and extended family and having a less outdoor life (and Ireland is quite good for outdoors in a lot of ways). Nowhere is perfect I'm afraid, just depends on what your priorities are.

Long Gone · 16-03-2015 11:31am

kilo6 wrote: »

Another thing that riles my whiskers is from now till St Patricks day we will have to listen to gombeen politicians who have destroyed Ireland and ruined a whole generation of young people running around America blowing about how good it is here all paid by the Irish tax payer the poor auld sod.

Amen to that

Long Gone · 16-03-2015 11:43am

Jamie2k9 wrote: »

Things are different but getting much better and those 14,000 Irish who returned home last year didn't for no reason and then a further 56,000 moved here to (sic).

Plenty of opportunities for the educated, only problem is Irish people love to moan at anything but I'm sure anybody coming back can just avoid those types in your social circle.

Well "different" is one word for it.... Personally I think people must be mad to move back at the moment.

Plenty of opportunities ? - "Let them eat cake" - One of the biggest problems at the moment is that the gombeens in the government are trying to figure out more and more ways to take money off the few people who actually still have any....

Long Gone · 16-03-2015 11:49am

lg123 wrote: »

ya, i think the cool place to go is now is Canada

It's cool alright - It's -7 C in Edmonton at the moment and getting cooler every day....

CB19135 · 16-03-2015 1:14pm

ghogie91 wrote: »

Jamie, I am one of the lucky ones who got a good job and am not victim to the current economic mess the country is in.
There are many factors that would weigh a person down in this country and people coming from Oz need to know that they are not returning to the land of the green Hills with postman pat the friendly postman who you see every Friday and Saturday night in the pub for a pint! Ireland has changed, its sad to see and hear the stories daily of what the people of this country have to do to try get a break to have some ease of living

You are 100% right.

CB19135 · 16-03-2015 1:16pm

jimd2 wrote: »

I am not happy with some of the decisions of the government but it is incorrect to say that it is totally corrupt. There are lots of positives to living in Ireland, I for one am happy to be still living and rearing a family here.

Have you ever lived anywhere else?

catbear · 16-03-2015 1:31pm

The bubble period of the 00s was an exceptional period and by no means a norm so expecting a recovery to mirror that period will lead to disappointment.

Rural depopulation was temporally reversed by the building boom.

Australia is a mostly urban society whereas Ireland is mostly made up of small towns and a few major urban centres. Returning to these small towns does mean a massive reduction in options and that can be crushing for people who've gotten used to the Australian Urban lifestyle. Your family and friends at home will never understand what you're missing so a period of social ineptitude will happen on return; it always happens me!

Rural Ireland can have massive benefits too. Freedom to wonder, short commutes, cheap rents, family support, cheaper fresh food and basics. I think that if you have a job you love then rural Ireland can be great but the job is the thing.

seachto7 · 17-03-2015 12:20am

Rural Ireland is f*cked if you're looking for a good professional job.

Moved back to Ireland and questioning it!

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