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she claims we where together to delay divorce

  • 18-05-2015 1:31pm
    #1
    Joshua5
    Registered Users Posts: 374 ✭✭


    It's as simple as the title. So we are separated 5 years, she now claims we only split two years ago...

    So can I still go for divorce? She is abusive and spiteful, she recently took out a safety order against me which the judge awarded based on false allegations.

    She's always plotting and scheming some sort of an attack, I'm at my wits end really. My word against hers never works in my favour so if it goes to court and she claims its not the required time frame what will happen?


Comments

  • #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    She can claim what she wants OP, what's important is you have evidence you were separated.
    Separate bills etc are a start.
    Also do you have anyone else who if called on can support you declaration of being separated?

    Unfortunately though if she's fighting this it could be a struggle, best bet is to go back to your solicitor and advise them it's turned nasty and how best to proceed. You won't be the first client they'll have seen whose ex is making things difficult. Just stay calm and don't do or say anything rash - it crazily is still all about control so show she's none...


  • #3
    Joshua5
    Registered Users Posts: 374 ✭✭Joshua5


    Taltos wrote: »
    She can claim what she wants OP, what's important is you have evidence you were separated.
    Separate bills etc are a start.
    Also do you have anyone else who if called on can support you declaration of being separated?

    Unfortunately though if she's fighting this it could be a struggle, best bet is to go back to your solicitor and advise them it's turned nasty and how best to proceed. You won't be the first client they'll have seen whose ex is making things difficult. Just stay calm and don't do or say anything rash - it crazily is still all about control so show she's none...

    She has been abusive for many years, so much so I ended up moving to the UK. For work and to just get away from her... I was there for three years and only returned to be in court for a safety order, not allowed to enter the family home, trouble with access to children and telling my current partner that she was still with me when I was living in the UK. Nut case... I'm stressed and saddened. In court the judge just shook his head at me and gave a safety order for two years against me.

    At the end of last week I felt like wrapping a rope around my neck, I can see why people are pushed over the edge.


  • #4
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Which is what she wants.
    Look call amen.ie - talk to someone who may have been through similar or knows how best to avoid you. As well as getting legal advice you need to take care of yourself mentally and get your head straight.

    I'd expect worst tactics before this is over but only because she's getting desperate. I'm not kidding here - so find a great solicitor and lay it all out, and ask them to prepare for worse - i.e. abuse, rape, harrassment etc. Get their advice on what you can and must do to protect yourself. But just as crucially start taking care of yourself if not with amen, then with a professional who can help you deal with all of the crap that has already been thrown your way and to help you learn to deal with anything else she cooks up.


  • #5
    Joshua5
    Registered Users Posts: 374 ✭✭Joshua5


    Taltos wrote: »
    Which is what she wants.
    Look call amen.ie - talk to someone who may have been through similar or knows how best to avoid you. As well as getting legal advice you need to take care of yourself mentally and get your head straight.

    I'd expect worst tactics before this is over but only because she's getting desperate. I'm not kidding here - so find a great solicitor and lay it all out, and ask them to prepare for worse - i.e. abuse, rape, harrassment etc. Get their advice on what you can and must do to protect yourself. But just as crucially start taking care of yourself if not with amen, then with a professional who can help you deal with all of the crap that has already been thrown your way and to help you learn to deal with anything else she cooks up.

    Whats killing me is it's my daughters communion this weekend, party in the family home which I pay for. She won't let me in, she doesn't let me in the house we own 50/50 because her current partner lives there.


  • #6
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Joshua5 wrote: »
    Whats killing me is it's my daughters communion this weekend, party in the family home which I pay for. She won't let me in, she doesn't let me in the house we own 50/50 because her current partner lives there.

    Can you not force sale of the property. Surely if you have proof of working in England that will cover you. Don't let her win.


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  • #7
    zeffabelli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,516 ✭✭✭zeffabelli


    Request one of those mental health evaluations.

    Safety order, oldest trick in the book. See if you can appeal it any get it expunged.


  • #8
    Kevhog1988
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,066 ✭✭✭Kevhog1988


    I feel very sorry for you. They will do anything to get there own way. If you need it i can put you in touch with a very good family law solicitor. He sorted out guardianship etc for me.


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