Breakup of Relationship house and child

Lifes_a_Witch · 20-03-2008 6:01pm #1

Hi All,
Some advice is needed.
Story in short is that a cousin and her boyfriend have broken up. It is very acrimonious. They have 1 child. Before they broke up they built a house on her parents land (right beside them). 2 weeks into moving in he leaves and says he wants the house sold and half the remaining funds, he has met someone else. The house was unfinished so it would be questionable its value - especially in this market but it would definitely be greater than the mortgage

The house is on a 100% mortgage and he has not contributed to any mortgage re-payments. She has paid this completely. She wishes to keep the house as it would be the best place for her son and has asked him to remove himself from the mortgage (via her solicitor) but he insists that he wants it sold and half of the proceeds.

He is now threatening her saying that he will take their child if she does not sell and is frightening her with threats that she will be homeless and not have her son. She is quite young and not experienced in such matters and he appears to be bullying her. He does not appear to care whether this would also leave his son homeless.

Now as family are biased...I was hoping for some objective thoughts.

She went to her solicitor and has a financial plan to keep the house.
Can she keep the house or can he force her to sell?

folan · 20-03-2008 6:04pm

legally, afaik, the mother is entiteled to keep the house until the child comes of age, but then it must be split, so wouldnt be the best.

Also, im open to being wrong.

Oryx · 20-03-2008 7:25pm

Go back to the solicitor and ask them. You will get good opinions here, but the solicitor shes dealing with is the only one with all the facts in front of him, so they are best placed to advise. Advice on his financial responsibility to his son would be helpful for her to have also. It might enable her to turn the tables and make her own demands, to him.

From what youve said, it doesnt sound like he has much of a financial interest in the house. Can she prove she alone has made all payments?

Profiler · 20-03-2008 8:52pm

She needs to get a solicitor ASAP (sorry I see she has already... D'oh)

If he has never contributed to the house and they are not married I don't think he has any legal entitlement to the house at all (but again a Solicitor is the one to confirm this)

Also there are plenty of threads here and also stories in the news which will tell you that before either parents financial status or ability as a parent is considered, the courts have a huge bias towards the mother. Chances are unless your cousin demonstrates that she is a horrible person in court she will win any custody battle.

As KtK said, turn the tables on the "father" and get your cousin to start making financial demands.

TequilaMockingBird · 20-03-2008 9:32pm

Did the couple buy a plot of land from her family, or was it gifted to her, or both of them?

She will have records of some sort (hopefully not a joint account) that she has paid the mortgage. The bloke hasn't a leg to stand on in my opinion, but of course a solicitor will know for sure.

He sounds like a nice guy :rolleyes:. Poor girl, and best of luck to her.

henboy9 · 21-03-2008 2:19am

hi can't give you any advice, but just to say i went through the process of buying my ex wife out of our house.there were no kids involved so that made it manageble. but have to say its a situation i would'nt wish on my worst enemy.i wish the couple all the best and hopefully with a child involved they can be sivel to each other

lol

estar · 21-03-2008 6:02pm

it really depends.

what it really depends on is whether the land has been signed
over - perhaps technically her parents still own the land
in which case, it cannot be sold without their permission

i would advise her to only communicate with him through a solicitor
and not to listen to any of his stupid threats.

he isnt a solicitor. he doesnt have a clue whats going to happen.

the courts are partial in favour of the parent caring for the child

i would tell your cousin not to panic, she hasnt split the marriage, he has,

he left the marital home, and her parents gifted the land.

he will probably only be entitled to a small part of the proceeds
in the event of a sale but the court probably wont force a sale
while the child is under 18

themadchef · 21-03-2008 10:47pm

AFAIK, (we live on a gifted site) if the site was gifted, they went to solicitors to sign promissory that land was being transferred to them.

They needed this for bank in order to get mortgage.

Here's the catch, (for him, anyway) lets say your cousins dad signed this, but the entire process has not been fully signed over yet (It can take 2 years). And lets say the money came out of your personal bank acc for mortgage payments. Then again AFAIK, she can claim he has never paid the mortgage.
I'm pretty sure even though her dad signed this there is a way out of it.

Seriously GO see a solicitor. Everyone will tell you it from what they have "heard" or believe to be true, but at the end of the day she really needs a pro.

Lifes_a_Witch · 24-03-2008 9:00pm

Thanks all for the advice. She has been seeing a solicitor for a number of weeks who seems OK (but slow). I will pass on all the suggestions to ensure that she is well covered.
The solicitor seems positive about the situation, but she herself does not feel confident when she meets the ex, so its great to hear some other suggestions to bring up with the solicitor that might support her case that have not been thought of previously.
Thanks again and good luck to all.

Breakup of Relationship house and child

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