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Moving in

  • 25-11-2015 2:25pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have just moved in with my boyfriend of 2 years. First day I was happy and excited, now, a few days later I'm feeling somewhat anxious and weird, so much that I've lost my appetite. Im not sleeping well, but generally havnt been sleeping well anyway. I'm not sure why I feel so uneasy, I should be happy right? I am just maybe a bit freaked it won't work out. We've had our ups and downs, but are really trying to make it work, things are good now. I'm in my early 30s, hes mid to late 30s. It hasn't been an easy move for him. I have had commitment issues in past relationships, would it be this part of me rearing its head again? That I've got what I think I want and then doubts start creeping in..or is it just nerves about the big change.. I'm just wondering if anyone else has had this much anxiety about moving in with a partner, and if so did it just take a while for the anxieties to settle till you've got used to the change?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Pretty normal in my experience and you'll go through a few phases before you settle down and enjoy your new situation. It's not dissimilar to starting a new job, a new relationship, moving house, or other changes like that, most people go through periods of doubt and excitement, nothing to worry yourself about.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Guessed wrote: »
    Pretty normal in my experience and you'll go through a few phases before you settle down and enjoy your new situation. It's not dissimilar to starting a new job, a new relationship, moving house, or other changes like that, most people go through periods of doubt and excitement, nothing to worry yourself about.

    Thanks, yea I suppose it is just nerves and perhaps coming up to the move, the reservations about some issues i had about the relationship had been put to the back of my mind with all the stress of the move. I hope we settle soon and my anxiety eases. I knew i can only know how it will be by actually making the decision to live together and seeing how it goes. I really didnt want to take it lightly though, its not like were in our 20s where we would have time to fritter.I have difficulty making decisions in general and the whole not knowing exactly how it will be makes me put off decisions.


  • #4
    Magicmatilda
    Registered Users Posts: 601 ✭✭✭Magicmatilda


    You say you have had your ups and downs but are trying to make it work and that there are issues in the relationship.

    What are these issues?
    Whose decision was it to move in together? Did he suggest it? Did you?
    You say you donlt want to frittar away time, do you want kids? Does he? have you agreed what time frame you will get married, start a family? if that is the plan?

    It could of course be anxiousness and nerves, do you normally react this way to big changes?

    Or it could be your gut telling you that this is not the right move for you, but I think some background might help.


  • #5
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    On my second live in relationship

    Both times nesting fights while people make new boundaries.

    Takes about six months to settle down.


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