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Do you have relatives who have come out, if so, how does it compare to you?

  • 16-04-2014 3:06am
    #1
    poundapunnet
    Registered Users Posts: 1,119 ✭✭✭


    I'm asking because recently my cousin has come out (yay her!) and I'm comparing her situation to mine.

    I've never had a problem with my immediate family and coming out, but recently my cousin has come out and apparently it's this whole big thing. Not that her parents and sister have any actual problem but they seem kind of worried about how to broach the situation with the wider family especially as she's bringing a girlfriend to a wedding that's coming up in a couple of months.

    I'm not friendly with this cousin (she's about ten years younger), but I'm looking for other people's experiences because ideally I'd like to able to do something like add her on facebook and say 'hey, good for you, good luck with the wedding' and give her the opportunity for support but not make her feel like she's obligated because I'm her one gay cousin. I can't really relate to her situation in any real way but I feel like it'd be good for her to have someone in the family to talk to.


Comments

  • #2
    Peregrinus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,690 ✭✭✭✭Peregrinus


    I don’t have any relevant experience to offer, but a thought:

    From what you say, it’s not your cousin who has a problem here; it’s her immediate family. They’re the ones who you say are “kind of worried about how to broach the situation with the wider family”. I dare say your cousin did her share of worrying about how to tell her parents and her sister, but she told them and it was OK and having got over that hurdle I can’t imagine she’s too stressed about how to tell Great Auntie May.

    If so, the people who may need support here are her parents, and possibly her sister. And the people who are possibly well positioned to offer a bit of support are your parents, because when you dropped your bombshell/finally said what everybody already knew [delete whichever does not apply] they had to work out how to tell all the Great Auntie Mays in your family.

    So - this is one for you to judge - your cousin’s parents might benefit from a cup of tea and a chat with your parents, about how your parents felt in the like situation and how they handled it and how it all unfolded. And maybe your role in this - and this again is one for you to judge - is to steer your parents in the direction of offering that. (If it hasn’t already occurred to them to do so.)


  • #3
    Ten of Swords
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,063 CMod ✭✭✭✭Ten of Swords


    Hey poundapunnet, I had the exact same thing happen about a month ago, I made a post about it here

    The reaction of his parents was entirely supportive and positive and it was a total non-issue for them. His mother, my aunt, even encouraged him to talk to me about any issues or questions he had that she couldn't answer or that he may not have been comfortable asking her.

    I wasn't exactly pleased about her 'volunteering' my services to him without asking me first, especially since I hadn't spoken to him in so long, but regardless we've talked a few times since then.

    Moderator: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender, Vegan & Vegetarian

    Category Moderator: Social & Fun



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