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Women on top

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  • 28-02-2008 6:15pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been seeing this guy for a few months and everything is going great. Our sex life is very much active but there is one thing that is bothering me. I don't know what to do when I am on top....I've only had one previous lover and he wasn't into me going on top (he liked to be in control all the time) so I have had no experience..With my new bo sex is great and I am fairly confident with him but I just don't know what to do when it gets to the stage where I am on top. Do i go slow, fast, left, right????What do you guys like when your girl is on top???Im ready for the deluge of sarcastic comments but any genuine help would be appreciated..


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    #2
    Marksie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    You go slow. Slow and gentle.

    You get accustomed to the feeling of straddling and the weight distribution.
    If you take him in hand you can guide his tip over your o pening and slowly allow him into you, not in a quick dwnward movement. But in a slow upwards and downwards, even pulling back once or twice to drive him gaga, and to open yu fully.
    This accustoms you to the gradual entry and also build anticipation for him
    Once past any resistacne you can slowly lower yourself.

    The position of your legs can determine the senatsions and so can whether you are facing forward or back. Or crouched

    Feel what is comfortable for you, on haunches, legs tucked back or legs out front.
    Support your back if necessary.
    Keep your movement slow initially with gentle forward and back pelvic curls. Practice rising and falling.

    If your back is straight then you can imagine riding a horse,
    At some point you can move forward bending at the waist and that enables you to kiss your partner.

    Go with the rhythym and what feels good.

    You can also easily stroke yourself in thsi position whihc builds your arousal and will aruse your partner.

    Be guided by what he says

    Communicate with him and ask what it feels like and what yu need to do

    Oh i forgot to add... at some point you may lose concentration and you rhythym may go.
    I am always aware of this and as he woman collapses forwards usuall very close will take over and use the leg thrusts to get her over the point.
    You may want to tell him to do that


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    #3
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    Sarcasm filter is on.

    Being on top is all about being in control. Do what feels good for you. I promise, it will feel good for him too. Don't worry about using a particular technique, relax and go with the flow. Sideways, backways, up and down. It doesnt matter, find out what works!!


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    #4
    dar_cool
    Registered Users Posts: 1,289 ✭✭✭dar_cool


    Without sounding pervy,watch a good porno, seriously!!


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    #5
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    dar_cool wrote: »
    Without sounding pervy,watch a good porno, seriously!!

    Thats iffy advice, theres so much bad porn out there. And having sex like a porn star is as fake as it gets. But I see why you'd suggest it, it can if youre lucky, give an idea of what to do. Trouble is, its mainly aimed at men, and the girl's pleasure is secondary. Being on top is girl time, when she gets to control the process.


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    #6
    pookie82
    Registered Users Posts: 2,217 ✭✭✭pookie82


    Marksie wrote: »
    You go slow. Slow and gentle.

    You get accustomed to the feeling of straddling and the weight distribution.
    If you take him in hand you can guide his tip over your o pening and slowly allow him into you, not in a quick dwnward movement. But in a slow upwards and downwards, even pulling back once or twice to drive him gaga, and to open yu fully.
    This accustoms you to the gradual entry and also build anticipation for him
    Once past any resistacne you can slowly lower yourself.

    The position of your legs can determine the senatsions and so can whether you are facing forward or back. Or crouched

    Feel what is comfortable for you, on haunches, legs tucked back or legs out front.
    Support your back if necessary.
    Keep your movement slow initially with gentle forward and back pelvic curls. Practice rising and falling.

    If your back is straight then you can imagine riding a horse,
    At some point you can move forward bending at the waist and that enables you to kiss your partner.

    Go with the rhythym and what feels good.

    You can also easily stroke yourself in thsi position whihc builds your arousal and will aruse your partner.

    Be guided by what he says

    Communicate with him and ask what it feels like and what yu need to do

    Oh i forgot to add... at some point you may lose concentration and you rhythym may go.
    I am always aware of this and as he woman collapses forwards usuall very close will take over and use the leg thrusts to get her over the point.
    You may want to tell him to do that

    Holy crap someone knows his stuff


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    #7
    Magpie!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 316 ✭✭Magpie!


    Marksie you neve fail to take my breath away.


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    #8
    dudara
    Registered Users Posts: 33,519 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    Please stay on topic here. We're not commenting on Marksie's knowledge here, rather the OP's problem


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    #9
    kraggy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,414 ✭✭✭kraggy


    KtK wrote: »
    Sarcasm filter is on.

    Being on top is all about being in control. Do what feels good for you. I promise, it will feel good for him too. Don't worry about using a particular technique, relax and go with the flow. Sideways, backways, up and down. It doesnt matter, find out what works!!

    I slightly disagree.

    Often I find that, because it's less strenuous on the legs/hips for the girl, girls tend to fully sit when on top.

    Which is good for her if she's concentrating on pleasing herself. However, this sitting down fully, with no movement up and the down the shaft can sometimes kill the erection as there is no movment up and down the penis. Thus, the most sensitive part of the penis i.e. the top, gets lost inside with little or not stimulation as the friction takes place between the vulva and the area on the main body around the penis itself.

    This has been my experience.

    OP, if you wanna know what to do for HIS pleasure, just move up and down, slowly edging the penis to the extent that it almost exits you. Do this several times, slow first, then gradually building it up. Keep doing this, til you are almost teasing him. It'll drive him wild. Then when you are both highly stimulated, increase speed and force but careful to always make sure that there is movement along the whole shaft.

    For YOUR enjoyment, well, just hop on and experiment and see what rocks your boat.

    Top of the morning to ya! ;)


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    #10
    Sprouts
    Registered Users Posts: 325 ✭✭Sprouts


    Not being funny, but basically imagine your on a horse, you don't go into a gallop straight away now do you?, take your time, gentle walk first then canter, then go horsey giddy up! til he crosses the line, simple.


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    #11
    MIN2511
    Registered Users Posts: 5,398 ✭✭✭MIN2511


    Hey, does your new beau know this? You should tell him, so when next you are on top you can work at it together...

    just to let you know, once you become a pro it would be all you want:D


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    #12
    Marksie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    kraggy wrote: »
    However, this sitting down fully, with no movement up and the down the shaft can sometimes kill the erection as there is no movment up and down the penis. Thus, the most sensitive part of the penis i.e. the top, gets lost inside with little or not stimulation as the friction takes place between the vulva and the area on the main body around the penis itself.

    PC control or kegels. You can use this in conjunction with sexual breathing to draw the energy up through the body.

    But basic PC control , you can squeeze your vaginal muscles slowly and rhythymically around the shaft.
    The guy can use his too to pulse in her yoni

    The classic tantra position is yab yum
    http://www.yoniversum.nl/dakini/yabyum.html

    This allows energy to be circulated through the energy centres and through each other. Pulsing an contracting of pc muscles will maintain the erection as movements can be limited.


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    #13
    Aura
    Registered Users Posts: 263 ✭✭Aura


    Yeah contracting your muscles does add to the sensation for the guy too and keeping things on the edge by almost releasing him and then sliding down the shaft again is super titillating for both. Moving your hips in a circular motion can also be very pleasurable for you both though the parallels with horse riding mentioned already i.e a good rocking motion.. can be built to a very enjoyable crescendo. Both for your own pleasure and the visual stimulation of your lover don’t hold back on fondling your breasts or clitoris. It can also heighten your guys enjoyment if you reach back and fondle his testicles during sex. If facing him you can also leave your hands on his shoulders which can add to the leverage affect between you and thus give extra pressure/stimulation on your clit. It can also be a major turn on to have your back facing him. It can be easier on your legs to get the up and motion going this way as you’re falling forward into it rather than banging against his chest and some guys love observing things from behind ;)
    For me I have to feel very confident with the guy I'm with to really get the best from it. If I'm too nervous I find it difficult not to speed things up too quickly and thus find it difficult to synchronise with the guy.
    It rocks big time if you can though!! :D:D


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    #14
    Talliesin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    Marksie wrote: »
    You go slow. Slow and gentle. [rest of post snipped]
    KtK wrote: »
    Don't worry about using a particular technique, relax and go with the flow. Sideways, backways, up and down. It doesnt matter, find out what works!!

    These two posts are pretty much in complete contradiction with each other, yet I agree with both of them.

    With anything sexual, as with anything creative, there are things you can learn and things you have to explore for yourself and find your own style of. The more you learn, the wider the palette you have to draw upon in your exploration, and the more you find your own style the more fluency you have when you learn something new.

    Even if you find that your style is very much in direct contradiction to what Marksie advises (there is a lot to be said about going fast too, though I would say slow is a good start point) one can do well to pay attention to what he said all the same.

    Both the "here is a way to do it" and "just do what you feel like" advice have their value.

    I do disagree with one thing KtK says:
    KtK wrote: »
    Being on top is all about being in control.
    I would agree that being on top is very good if you like being in control, it can work very well if you like giving up control also, so there's no need to rule it out if that's how you prefer it.

    If you like being in control though, it is the most obvious way to approach it :)
    dar_cool wrote: »
    Without sounding pervy,watch a good porno, seriously!!
    If this were true then by the same token watching a few Die Hard films would enable you to single-handedly defeat a large number of well-armed terrorists. Unfortunately television and films are not the same as real life, so please don't buy yourself a Bruce Willis box set and a plane ticket to Afghanistan.


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    #15
    kowloon
    Registered Users Posts: 13,318 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    dar_cool wrote: »
    Without sounding pervy,watch a good porno, seriously!!

    Pretend you're here to fix the dishwasher? :rolleyes:

    Terrible terrible advice


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    #16
    minidazzler
    Registered Users Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    Best advice I can give on this is to be VERY careful.

    If ye are going at it wildly his penis can come out you wont notice and you can come down awkwardly and literally break his penis. I have seen it on a friends brother. So painful looking.


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