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De stressing after work

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  • 31-05-2014 9:07pm
    #1
    Sunny days 101
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭


    Hi,I hope this is appropriate.
    My partner has moved jobs recently to a frontline, overworked,under resourced, understaffed emergency area. Is obviously seeing awful things, very upsetting. He is doing fine mostly but obviously some days are upsetting. Is talking about day when he comes home( not private info). General info about day and the worse upsetting cases. He talks to others working in his and other emergency areas so has another outlet.
    I have some minor experience in the past working in this area but am in a different job now. So I do have a pretty good understanding of the stresses. I'm just listening, acknowledging how stressful it is but wondering what else should I do. I can't really give advice or things can't really change, it's just life being cruel.
    So what can I do to relieve stress? Any suggestions.
    Thanks


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    #2
    TheNog
    Registered Users Posts: 4,160 ✭✭✭TheNog


    Talking and listening is the best. I find even bringing the kids and dog for a walk is very calming. It kind of normalises everything in my head after seeing an awful incident.

    On my unit (small unit) we talk everything through. What we did as per procedure and especially what we did for the family. You get some satisfaction (for want of a better word) through knowing that you did everything possible for say a family of a bereaved person. If you do all that us possible there is not much else you can do.

    When I had my first bad incident which was a cot death the thing that I struggled with was that life carried on. People around me were carrying on their lives as if nothing had happened. I drank a lot for a week after which is not a good thing. Sought peer support and that along with my unit and my family I got through it.


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    #3
    AlekSmart
    Registered Users Posts: 14,005 ✭✭✭✭AlekSmart


    Working in any Public Service position rapidly underlines the realities of Human Life.

    What stands head & shoulders above all else,for me,is the absolute reality that self-preservation is the prime element of human existence.


    Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one.

    Charles Mackay (1812-1889)



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    #4
    ivabiggon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 340 ✭✭ivabiggon


    Sunny days 101 wrote: »
    Hi,I hope this is appropriate.
    My partner has moved jobs recently to a frontline, overworked,under resourced, understaffed emergency area. Is obviously seeing awful things, very upsetting. He is doing fine mostly but obviously some days are upsetting. Is talking about day when he comes home( not private info). General info about day and the worse upsetting cases. He talks to others working in his and other emergency areas so has another outlet.
    I have some minor experience in the past working in this area but am in a different job now. So I do have a pretty good understanding of the stresses. I'm just listening, acknowledging how stressful it is but wondering what else should I do. I can't really give advice or things can't really change, it's just life being cruel.
    So what can I do to relieve stress? Any suggestions.
    Thanks

    I find a nice steak, bottle of beer, and a missus who's at my beckin call does the trick.... and some massage oil??? not sure if this is any help to you or not!!!!!:eek::P:D


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    #5
    ivabiggon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 340 ✭✭ivabiggon


    https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQmhlFDCo5f8YhUnJYTY8Jdy7Z5q5W7Cb7JfCHJdANp0hPObkmEfQ

    or one of these!!! a squeeeeesy stress toy


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    #6
    McWotever
    Registered Users Posts: 202 ✭✭McWotever


    He'll have to come to the realisation that real life is s**t, and he is there to help clean the mess up.

    Don't overthink it, he didn't cause the problem, he's just there to deal with it.

    Any reaction or feelings he is having are normal. They are normal reactions to abnormal situations, but as he gains experience these abnormal situations become the norm.

    Finally look at each situation and think: That could of been worse, that could of been me or my loved ones.


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    #7
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Just in case ivabiggon's answers were a bit glib, you need to understand that to *some*, gallows humour/making light of it is a way to cope too.

    We all react to bad things in different ways. It's never easy, but as I've seen with many, they can and do find their way to cope. Support from loved ones is always welcome, yes even ivabiggon's idea of that....


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    #8
    Sunny days 101
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭Sunny days 101


    Thanks. Think we are on the right track. Just don't want to regreat missing something. It's not all doom and gloom! We do engage in some dark humour but didn't want to say for fear it trivialised the matter. Thanks


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    #9
    Preset No.3
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,385 ✭✭✭Preset No.3


    TheNog wrote: »
    Talking and listening is the best. I find even bringing the kids and dog for a walk is very calming. It kind of normalises everything in my head after seeing an awful incident.

    On my unit (small unit) we talk everything through. What we did as per procedure and especially what we did for the family. You get some satisfaction (for want of a better word) through knowing that you did everything possible for say a family of a bereaved person. If you do all that us possible there is not much else you can do.

    When I had my first bad incident which was a cot death the thing that I struggled with was that life carried on. People around me were carrying on their lives as if nothing had happened. I drank a lot for a week after which is not a good thing. Sought peer support and that along with my unit and my family I got through it.

    Seeing comments like that shows the true extent of the sterling service you and other members do.


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    #10
    discus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,049 ✭✭✭discus


    Sunny days 101 wrote: »
    Thanks. Think we are on the right track. Just don't want to regreat missing something. It's not all doom and gloom! We do engage in some dark humour but didn't want to say for fear it trivialised the matter. Thanks

    It's the done thing. Dark humour, kept between good friends, is disrespectful to nobody. It's entirely necessary, especially for the type of people who consider seeking professional help as a sign of weakness.


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