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Can something really happen?

  • 19-05-2008 12:48am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Going unregged for this. I've known this guy for a good few years (I'm female btw), met him online, we both live in Ireland, different counties and there is a bit of an age difference. He always seemed so sweet and always knew how to cheer me up, I used to be fairly depressed from time to time in my late teens.

    Anyway, we would always text each other and always lend an ear whenever each of us were down. He always said that he liked me, at the time I was more interested in another guy I knew but after a while I grew to like him. We would always help with guy/girl advice....it was disheartening to here about how much he liked so and so....and he didn't like when I mention a guy but said he wanted me to be happy.

    So anyway, we met up last year (the one and only time). We just talked, nothing else happened, even though we both wanted something to (just kiss, nothing more), but it felt so nice. Since then we have been planning to meet again but never ends up happening because of work or college. He would always being the one suggesting it.

    We sometimes do the whole textsex thing and we both want something to happen. I trust him, but sometimes I can't help but feel that I'm only someone he can contact when he is bored and when he feels like it. He used to tell me all the time that he liked me, but that seems to have drown out. Maybe it's just that he works more and I have work and whatnot, but I'd like to think that something could happen for real between us.

    Sorry for ranting on but it something that has been bugging me for a while now...


Comments

  • #2
    justsomebloke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,407 ✭✭✭✭justsomebloke


    well from the sounds of it neither of yous are really putting in the effort to see each other. There is no excuse to yous only meeting once seen as though you both live in Ireland. If yous have had really wanted to meet up you would have, so I am not surprised by the fact that one of yous is getting bored of the type of "relationship" that you have as there really is nothing there when it all comes down to it and with no sign of things improving.

    If you like him, go see him and make it happen and stop making excuses


  • #3
    RedXIV
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,464 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    Whattodo-advice wrote: »
    Going unregged for this. I've known this guy for a good few years (I'm female btw), met him online, we both live in Ireland, different counties and there is a bit of an age difference. He always seemed so sweet and always knew how to cheer me up, I used to be fairly depressed from time to time in my late teens.

    Anyway, we would always text each other and always lend an ear whenever each of us were down. He always said that he liked me, at the time I was more interested in another guy I knew but after a while I grew to like him. We would always help with guy/girl advice....it was disheartening to here about how much he liked so and so....and he didn't like when I mention a guy but said he wanted me to be happy.

    So anyway, we met up last year (the one and only time). We just talked, nothing else happened, even though we both wanted something to (just kiss, nothing more), but it felt so nice. Since then we have been planning to meet again but never ends up happening because of work or college. He would always being the one suggesting it.

    We sometimes do the whole textsex thing and we both want something to happen. I trust him, but sometimes I can't help but feel that I'm only someone he can contact when he is bored and when he feels like it. He used to tell me all the time that he liked me, but that seems to have drown out. Maybe it's just that he works more and I have work and whatnot, but I'd like to think that something could happen for real between us.

    Sorry for ranting on but it something that has been bugging me for a while now...


    For a while reading this i thought you were refering to me. I have known a girl from online land for about the last 6 years and i'd count her as a pretty close friend now, she knows an awful lot about me and I her, and since we're both in college now, the idea has been bounced back and forth about meeting up but it truely is difficult thanks to work and college restraints.

    However, you ARE about to hit the summer, which throws college out the window, Do it this summer, meet up and be assertive. two shy people is the worlds worst thing to watch if you're hoping to see a relationship. He hasn't been talking to you this long if he didn't like you.

    Do it and be confident about it and he should melt right before your eyes. You CAN do this lass, it's not hard, it just needs some planning. seriously, do it!


  • #4
    moomoo2007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 102 ✭✭moomoo2007


    wow 6 years of getting to know someone and building a rapport and NOT meeting up, ya gotta be curious, but guess longer it goes on talking to someone via the internet the harder it would get to actually meet :confused:


  • #5
    RedXIV
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,464 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    moomoo2007 wrote: »
    wow 6 years of getting to know someone and building a rapport and NOT meeting up, ya gotta be curious, but guess longer it goes on talking to someone via the internet the harder it would get to actually meet :confused:

    Dunno if it would be harder for me to meet up, i don't get nervous about meeting people so it doesn't apply to me. but its an interesting aspect that i hadn't thought of in relation to the OP


  • #6
    moomoo2007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 102 ✭✭moomoo2007


    Well there is a nervous aspect along with perhaps an expectation you may have built up in your head of the person,hmm anyway i actually have gone way off the point, think i should go do some "work" :rolleyes:


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  • #7
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 85,053 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    After 6 years im surprised you dont have a CyberBaby, Red.

    OP theres always a chance for something real to happen but it just requires a bit of work. from the sound of it neither of you is ready to commit anything let alone meet up. Again I think it would be wise to try and see eachother over the summer.


  • #8
    Liam Byrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,163 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    Reading between the lines from the OP:
    He would always being the one suggesting it.
    sometimes I can't help but feel that I'm only someone he can contact when he is bored and when he feels like it.

    Am I reading this right ? He's the one who suggests meeting up, and you still think that he only contacts you when he's bored ?

    What am I missing ?


  • #9
    AARRRGH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    Whattodo-advice wrote: »
    there is a bit of an age difference
    Whattodo-advice wrote: »
    He always knew how to cheer me up [when I was] in my late teens.

    Can I ask what age you and he are?


  • #10
    Teddi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 463 ✭✭Teddi


    there is only so far an online "romance" can last OP without taking further action, ya know?

    of course things will drown out after a while because you'd say the same things etc, and in this situation, repetition is your enemy as it eventually gets stale..

    the only way of recifiying this is either to meet up and make something of it or cut all ties with him...as having an only online realationship when one of you (seemingly) wants to make something out of this......will not last for years to come...its not how proper relationships work.

    dont give him an ultimatum....but you need to know where this is going, otherwise your wasting his and your time..

    hope it works out :)


  • #11
    Aspiration
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 717 ✭✭✭Aspiration


    Like Red, this sounds similar to a relationship I have with a guy I met online about 5 years ago. Met up once and we text eachother every few weeks to see how we're getting on etc. We were living in different counties until I moved up to Dub for an internship and we've been talking about meeting for coffee over the last few weeks, and just haven't gotten around to it. He's spoken for therefore nothing romantic would ever come out of it but I still love hearing what he's been up to and whatnot as he's genuinely a good guy who I know is there for me whenever I do need him to rant to :)

    As the others have said, you should schedule another meeting for a drink or something- nothing formal- and just see how ye get on face to face and see if ye still have the same chemistry. If not, at least you still have a friend out of it. The meet up doesn't have to "make or break" the friendship you already have. It seems like you make each other happy so you've nothing to lose. At the end of the day, the more friends the merrier. You shouldn't look at him like he's potential boyfriend material but if the chemistry is there go for it.

    Best of luck!


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  • #12
    chuci
    Closed Accounts Posts: 938 ✭✭✭chuci


    a online relationship cam only go so far.op just meet up this summer college is out the window. if he keeps asking you to meet up seems like he is interested. would be concerned though about the age difference what age are you and him?


  • #13
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    First off thanks for the replies, only got round to reading them now as I haven't been online for a while.

    dublindude, to answer your question, I'm 21, he's 28. It doesn't bother me tbh.

    We don't live too far away (same province) and I'm gonna make more of an effort during the summer especially now that summer holidays have begun, maybe I just need a deserved kick to do anything about it.

    Thanks again for all your replies :)


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