HIV Poz Friend

LeaveMeAlone1 · 24-11-2015 6:03am #1

Hey all,

I'm looking for some advice. Here's the back story. A very close friend (gay male) was diagnosed with HIV about 15 months ago. Upon being diagnosed he confided in a close circle of 5 or so friends, which included me. Naturally at that time he was deeply upset, and being a close friend I did my best to be there for him. I had already known a lot about HIV and sexual health as I'd stayed informed for my own sake, so while I too was upset and sad for him I knew it wasn't the big terrible death sentence some still thing it is.

Over the next few months I listened to his concerns, gave support and advice where I felt appropriate and helped him attend his medical sessions and refocus on healthy living in general. After some months he was given the status of undetectable which I know is a key point in maintaining your health while positive.

We had always been very open about sex and the hook ups we had. As close friends often do, we shared those stories - the good, the bad and literally, the ugly. After his diagnosis those conversations stopped and I assumed it was because my friend's confidence had taken a knock and he wanted to get things right in his own head - great.

Fast forward a year and we kind of returned to normal. At dinner last month he tells myself and another friend about some fun he had and my friend asks if he made sure to protect himself and if he disclosed his status. I know this is a touchy subject but he was really really angry that he asked him, but he told us that no he didn't disclose it, that he still has unprotected sex and that in his mind it's not his responsibility to disclose to causal encounters. It's their job to protect themselves.

At this point I bit my tongue as I felt it's one of those things that you can't really have an opinion on unless you're in that position. It does however really really bother me that my friend continues to have sexual encounters, unprotected, and fails to disclose his status. Am I out of line in thinking this is not fair?

Sexual encounters require two people but both people need to be responsible in stopping the spread of HIV. IMO both need to protect themselves but if one is HIV+ they have a moral obligation to disclose that. I asked my friend to think honestly about what decision he could have been empowered to make if the person he contracted HIV from had given him a heads up and if he thinks it's fair not to?

I guess the bottom line is that what my friend does sexually is none of my business, but I can't imagine being poz and not sharing that info with potential partners....and I feel guilty for saying it but it makes me think less of my friend.

Advice?

L1011 · 24-11-2015 10:51am

There hasn't been a case in Ireland that I'm aware of, but in most other common law jurisdictions, failure to disclose when having unprotected sex is rather seriously criminal. Is he aware of this?

Rick_ · 24-11-2015 11:14am

I would lose a LOT of respect for my friend if he/she was HIV+, knew they were, and still chose to sleep around and not only hide this from the person they were having sex with but not even use a condom to help reduce the risks of transmission. In fact, I'd probably stop associating with them altogether.

Now, whether they have to tell people or not, I don't know, it is hard to find the laws regarding this for Ireland (if they even exist) online. But from what I have read regarding the UK, not telling someone and sleeping with them is usually only a criminal offence if the other person ends up getting HIV also and it carries a moderate prison sentence. In some states of America, the mere fact you didn't tell your partner, whether or not they get HIV is enough to land you in prison.

jimdublin15 · 24-11-2015 12:53pm

LeaveMeAlone1 wrote: »

Hey all,
I know this is a touchy subject but he was really really angry that he asked him,

LeaveMeAlone1 wrote: »

I guess the bottom line is that what my friend does sexually is none of my business
Advice?

Well I am not going to defend your friend however I won't condemn him either as I don't have enough details from your post to comment and as he's not in the room to defend himself so it would be bit unfair of me if I judged him.

Personally speaking I always disclose before sleeping with someone including my current sexual partner. But this is between me and the other person and nobody else's business. So to answer do I think people (In this post your friend) should disclose before engaging in unprotected sex - Yes. (and not only for HIV). On a side note I personally also disclose when it's protected sex. Shockingly i must say most do not know their HIV or STI's status or think Doctors by default test and they don't so some people could be unknowing spreading all types of STI's :-(

I must however admit I was asked a very similar question by someone and at the time also reacted badly as it was not genuine concern it's just being judgmental. So I told them them "No" and that I went out licking door handles when nobody was looking. Neither is true as i do disclose and HIV does not spread that way, but it was my way of making it clear to mind your own. TBH I think if I changed the topic from HIV to Pregnancy and asked female friend who said she got laid if she is using protection to prevent pregnancy we would most likely get slapped. But that's just my thinking.

Do I personally disclose - Yes. Do I have to disclose - No

Personally when I travel mainly EU and UK I find that It does differ per country as other posters have pointed out.
For Example propose only the below for the UK seems to indicate that it's different per country (region) and hence it's easier for me just to stick to disclosing to be on the safe side.
http://www.tht.org.uk/myhiv/Telling-people/Sexual-partners

In England and Wales, you may be found guilty of reckless HIV transmission if all the below apply:

You had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV.
You knew you had HIV at that time.
You understood how HIV is transmitted.
You had sex without a condom.
You transmitted HIV to that person.

The situation is mostly the same in Scotland. However, there is the added possibility of a case being brought even if transmission hasn’t taken place but where a person has been put at risk without their prior consent or knowledge. Someone can only be charged with intentional transmission if it can be proved they maliciously and intentionally tried to give the other person HIV.

My conclusion based on what you posted:
Overall I don't think it was great or correct thing of you to do, Asking your friend that question and particular not at a dinner party. Despite that I do disclose you may have gotten a similar answer from myself on the night. Your friend and his sexual activities are his own and his own responsibility.

On a side note
I still think disclosing is a good thing and personally I always will, but as a point of interest I am thankful that Treatment as prevention (TasP) is getting better with each year thanks to advances in medication and more modern studies are showing this reduced transmission risk.

http://www.aidsmap.com/Viral-load-and-transmission-a-factsheet-for-people-with-HIV/page/1044617/
In 2011, a large scientific trial called HPTN 052 found that HIV treatment reduced the risk of passing on HIV to a regular heterosexual partner by 96%. The only reason it was not 100% is that one person in the trial did acquire HIV, but this happened just a few days before or after their partner started treatment.

A statement by the British HIV Association (BHIVA) and the Expert Advisory Group on AIDS (EAGA) said if the HIV-positive partner is on successful HIV treatment this is “as effective as consistent condom use” in limiting transmission. The statement stressed that regular viral load testing is vital and advised waiting six months after the first undetectable viral load test to be sure that treatment is working.

The BHIVA/EAGA statement only applied to vaginal sex because there were not enough gay couples in HPTN 052 to show whether HIV treatment reduced the risk to the same extent in anal sex.

In 2014, a study called PARTNER did not find a single HIV transmission in 16,400 occasions of sex between gay men and 28,000 between heterosexuals where the HIV-positive partner had a viral load below 200 copies/ml. In 2015, a similar study exclusively of gay male couples, Opposites Attract, also found no transmissions from partners with an undetectable viral load. Both studies are collecting more data and will have final results in 2017.

http://www.thebodypro.com/content/76169/hptn-052-no-partner-infections-with-viral-suppress.html
HPTN 052: No Partner Infections With Viral Suppression

http://www.aidsmap.com/Expert-statements-and-guidance-for-individuals/page/1322904/
Swiss statement:
"An HIV-infected person on antiretroviral therapy with completely suppressed viraemia (“effective ART”) is not sexually infectious, i.e. cannot transmit HIV through sexual contact.”

It went on to say that this statement was valid as long as:
The person adheres to antiretroviral therapy, the effects of which must be evaluated regularly by the treating physician; and
The viral load has been suppressed below the limits of detection (i.e. below 40 copies/ml) for at least six months; and There are no other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).[/I]

jobbridge4life · 24-11-2015 4:27pm

LeaveMeAlone1 wrote: »

Hey all,

I'm looking for some advice. Here's the back story. A very close friend (gay male) was diagnosed with HIV about 15 months ago. Upon being diagnosed he confided in a close circle of 5 or so friends, which included me. Naturally at that time he was deeply upset, and being a close friend I did my best to be there for him. I had already known a lot about HIV and sexual health as I'd stayed informed for my own sake, so while I too was upset and sad for him I knew it wasn't the big terrible death sentence some still thing it is.

Over the next few months I listened to his concerns, gave support and advice where I felt appropriate and helped him attend his medical sessions and refocus on healthy living in general. After some months he was given the status of undetectable which I know is a key point in maintaining your health while positive.

We had always been very open about sex and the hook ups we had. As close friends often do, we shared those stories - the good, the bad and literally, the ugly. After his diagnosis those conversations stopped and I assumed it was because my friend's confidence had taken a knock and he wanted to get things right in his own head - great.

Fast forward a year and we kind of returned to normal. At dinner last month he tells myself and another friend about some fun he had and my friend asks if he made sure to protect himself and if he disclosed his status. I know this is a touchy subject but he was really really angry that he asked him, but he told us that no he didn't disclose it, that he still has unprotected sex and that in his mind it's not his responsibility to disclose to causal encounters. It's their job to protect themselves.

At this point I bit my tongue as I felt it's one of those things that you can't really have an opinion on unless you're in that position. It does however really really bother me that my friend continues to have sexual encounters, unprotected, and fails to disclose his status. Am I out of line in thinking this is not fair?

Sexual encounters require two people but both people need to be responsible in stopping the spread of HIV. IMO both need to protect themselves but if one is HIV+ they have a moral obligation to disclose that. I asked my friend to think honestly about what decision he could have been empowered to make if the person he contracted HIV from had given him a heads up and if he thinks it's fair not to?

I guess the bottom line is that what my friend does sexually is none of my business, but I can't imagine being poz and not sharing that info with potential partners....and I feel guilty for saying it but it makes me think less of my friend.

Advice?

Your friend was infected by someone who either didn't know or didn't bother to inform him that he was HIV+ and because he chose to engage in risky sexually behaviour i.e. unprotected intercourse. From what you've said this caused him great pain and distress. A year later however it appears that he has learned nothing, his behaviour remains the same and in some respects more reckless.

Having not been in the situation I don't think I can properly advise but I can tell you what I think I would do if I was in your situation.

I'd approach my friend again, I'd tell him my concerns. I tell him that I worried for him continuing to engage in risky behaviour and that just because he has HIV doesn't mean he has to go getting every other STD under the sun. I'd then say I was concerned and a little frightened by his attitude towards the agency of others. If he remained nonplussed I'd try and bring his thoughts back to those dark days when he was first diagnosed and the fear he felt and the suffering he went through, I'd ask him how he felt towards whoever infected him. Then I'd ask him to imagine that person had known and had deliberately omitted from telling him? How would he feel knowing that and what might he want to do to that individual in that case. Then I'd tell him that he is risking being that figure to another person.

IF all of that didn't work and my friend remained committed to this selfish course of action I would not be able to continue the relationship. Yes my friends sex lives are their own business, its not my business if someone likes to get spanked, or likes playing daddy and son, or likes getting their nipples clamped but who I am friends with is my business. Among the very most important factors in determining who I am friends with is how they treat others including their respect for strangers and honestly I could not in good conscience have a friend who acted with such callousness towards others.

LeaveMeAlone1 · 24-11-2015 6:19pm

Thank you, there's some really great advice here. I've been feeling so guilty this last few weeks wondering if I was being overly judgemental and out of line. To remind, I have yet to say anything directly to my friend. I was merely a bystander in a convo between him and another one of our close friends who was immediately vocal about their opinion that he was in the wrong. Based on his reaction I knew I wanted to think all this through before speaking to him.

- The legality thing is a bigger issue that I don't even want to tackle with him. I'm not sure on the details surrounding that, and frankly I don't care, what I care about is the moral aspects to not disclosing and what is says about character. As I understand it, his mentality is that someone else's choices are not his responsibility, and if some are actively pursuing unprotected sex with him then they know what risk they're taking, because anyone can be HIV+. He did mention that in one of his previous encounters (it was with a couple) that it was at their request that they didn't use protection.

- I don't want to walk away from our friendship, but I can't reconcile his actions in my mind. I'm going to speak to him directly this weekend and see what comes of it. I'm not looking forward to bringing it up, but I'll certainly reinforce that I'm also worried about his continued exposure to other diseases. After that, well, we'll see.

I'll also point out that researching the whole disclosure / non-disclosure topic had been a real eye opener. I've read a lot of stories of people taking the same stance as my friend, that other's sexual health is not their responsibility and that it's up to the person to engage or not engage in risky behaviour. I also encountered a lot of folks, mostly on gay forums, who say that when they're out looking that they sometimes they dont' give a f*^k if the person is HIV+ or not and would rather just play and not worry about it. That's a whole world I can't fathom and probably not a discussion for this thread.

Banbha32 · 25-11-2015 12:55am

I really feel for you OP. Thats quite a scary post, i am absolutely horrified at his thought process :O If i was in your situation id be worried sick. You seem to be feeling even more guilt than him

To knowingly transmit any STD on purpose (by going unprotected) is appaling but this is quite serious and to not use protection is so selfish.

If he doesnt want to disclose it, could he not at least insist on using protection and claim its for his own protection from anything without having to disclose his HIV in particular (and there is still some truth in that as he would be protecting himself from catching other STDs anyway). And you say this couple insisted on not using protection aswell and he said nothing, this makes them quite wreckless too mind. And especially after having experienced it all himself its a shame he cant see that he is doing the same thing to others.

Do you think if he reckons you will go on about it he will want to just end the conversation and say something like actually ive been thinking and i will disclose from now on just to keep you quiet? At the end of the day yes its true his partners should be protecting themselves anyway and yes it is his private information but christ to knowingly and so wrecklessly pass it on and feel its their problem not mine is absolutely horrendous

Annasopra · 25-11-2015 7:44pm

Theres also the health aspect to this for your friend as well.

Your friend is at risk of reinfection of HIV with a different strain.

He also needs to be protecting himself.

25-11-2015 7:55pm

LeaveMeAlone1 wrote: »

Hey all,

I'm looking for some advice. Here's the back story. A very close friend (gay male) was diagnosed with HIV about 15 months ago. Upon being diagnosed he confided in a close circle of 5 or so friends, which included me. Naturally at that time he was deeply upset, and being a close friend I did my best to be there for him. I had already known a lot about HIV and sexual health as I'd stayed informed for my own sake, so while I too was upset and sad for him I knew it wasn't the big terrible death sentence some still thing it is.

Over the next few months I listened to his concerns, gave support and advice where I felt appropriate and helped him attend his medical sessions and refocus on healthy living in general. After some months he was given the status of undetectable which I know is a key point in maintaining your health while positive.

We had always been very open about sex and the hook ups we had. As close friends often do, we shared those stories - the good, the bad and literally, the ugly. After his diagnosis those conversations stopped and I assumed it was because my friend's confidence had taken a knock and he wanted to get things right in his own head - great.

Fast forward a year and we kind of returned to normal. At dinner last month he tells myself and another friend about some fun he had and my friend asks if he made sure to protect himself and if he disclosed his status. I know this is a touchy subject but he was really really angry that he asked him, but he told us that no he didn't disclose it, that he still has unprotected sex and that in his mind it's not his responsibility to disclose to causal encounters. It's their job to protect themselves.

At this point I bit my tongue as I felt it's one of those things that you can't really have an opinion on unless you're in that position. It does however really really bother me that my friend continues to have sexual encounters, unprotected, and fails to disclose his status. Am I out of line in thinking this is not fair?

Sexual encounters require two people but both people need to be responsible in stopping the spread of HIV. IMO both need to protect themselves but if one is HIV+ they have a moral obligation to disclose that. I asked my friend to think honestly about what decision he could have been empowered to make if the person he contracted HIV from had given him a heads up and if he thinks it's fair not to?

I guess the bottom line is that what my friend does sexually is none of my business, but I can't imagine being poz and not sharing that info with potential partners....and I feel guilty for saying it but it makes me think less of my friend.

Advice?

As a hospital pharmacist who works in hospital with a sexual health unit. His attitude sickens me. Not only because he risks spreading HIV but also that he may increase resistance to antiretrovirals(ARV's) by having sex with other HIV+ people. Plus the cost of treating somebody with ARV's is astronomical. Which means longer waiting times and less nurses and doctors to treat acutely sick patients.

Personally, I would have no respect for this person and would be reconsidering my friendship. Maybe the shock of losing you might shake a bit of sense into him.

25-11-2015 8:22pm

In response to jimdublin15, Anal sex is about 15-20 times greater risk of HIV transmission than vaginal sex. I also would not consider any study not published yet as evidence.

jimdublin15 · 25-11-2015 8:52pm

Deleted User wrote: »

In response to jimdublin15, Anal sex is about 15-20 times greater risk of HIV transmission than vaginal sex.

Okay ...... i'm not sure why you feel the need to state what you think about anal sex risks in relation to my post ?
I did not say it was not a risk and i'm not sure what this has to do or how it relates directly to my post?

Deleted User wrote: »

I also would not consider any study not published yet as evidence.

As for the study, i posted it as a side note that I am thankful and included the links for anyone who wants to read up.
I still disclose and use protection, but it's nice to know that science is heading the right direction to reduce transmission risk.

There is 1 main ongoing study due to finish in 2017.There are also at least 3 completed studies. The one I linked to the Swiss statement is from 2008 and The HPTN 052 studies completed in 2011. So I stand by my comment that I am glad that (TasP) and meds are getting better, (I truly am thankful meds are getting) also in my post I included the links for anyone interested in reading more about it.

http://www.aidsmap.com/The-HPTN-052-study/page/1847774/

The HPTN 052
It was 2011 that finally saw publication of conclusive evidence of the efficacy of HIV treatment as prevention, from a randomized controlled trial that specifically aimed to measure its effect.

The HPTN 052 trial was originally designed to report its findings in 2015 but was stopped in 2011 when it became obvious that the reduction in transmissions seen was so great that it would be unethical to continue recruiting study participants to the less protected arm.

jimdublin15 wrote: »

On a side note
I still think disclosing is a good thing and personally I always will, but as a point of interest I am thankful that Treatment as prevention (TasP) is getting better with each year thanks to advances in medication and more modern studies are showing this reduced transmission risk.

http://www.aidsmap.com/Viral-load-and-transmission-a-factsheet-for-people-with-HIV/page/1044617/
In 2011, a large scientific trial called HPTN 052 found that HIV treatment reduced the risk of passing on HIV to a regular heterosexual partner by 96%. The only reason it was not 100% is that one person in the trial did acquire HIV, but this happened just a few days before or after their partner started treatment.

A statement by the British HIV Association (BHIVA) and the Expert Advisory Group on AIDS (EAGA) said if the HIV-positive partner is on successful HIV treatment this is “as effective as consistent condom use” in limiting transmission. The statement stressed that regular viral load testing is vital and advised waiting six months after the first undetectable viral load test to be sure that treatment is working.

The BHIVA/EAGA statement only applied to vaginal sex because there were not enough gay couples in HPTN 052 to show whether HIV treatment reduced the risk to the same extent in anal sex.

In 2014, a study called PARTNER did not find a single HIV transmission in 16,400 occasions of sex between gay men and 28,000 between heterosexuals where the HIV-positive partner had a viral load below 200 copies/ml. In 2015, a similar study exclusively of gay male couples, Opposites Attract, also found no transmissions from partners with an undetectable viral load. Both studies are collecting more data and will have final results in 2017.

http://www.thebodypro.com/content/76169/hptn-052-no-partner-infections-with-viral-suppress.html
HPTN 052: No Partner Infections With Viral Suppression

http://www.aidsmap.com/Expert-statements-and-guidance-for-individuals/page/1322904/
Swiss statement:
"An HIV-infected person on antiretroviral therapy with completely suppressed viraemia (“effective ART”) is not sexually infectious, i.e. cannot transmit HIV through sexual contact.”

It went on to say that this statement was valid as long as:
The person adheres to antiretroviral therapy, the effects of which must be evaluated regularly by the treating physician; and
The viral load has been suppressed below the limits of detection (i.e. below 40 copies/ml) for at least six months; and There are no other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).[/I]

mattP · 25-11-2015 9:37pm

What a ****, sorry like but he is, I don't care how nice he is outside of his sexual relations this trumps that.
If I were you I would sit him down and tell him how much of an absolute prick hes being - knowingly infecting people! Sure he'll be angry but after a few days he *should* calm down and realise how destructive his behaviour is.

Fleawuss · 26-11-2015 2:21am

Glad after 4 posts OP you could turn to this forum for advice on such a well crafted back story. I suspect you will recover eventually. Your friend I mean. She will recover.

jimdublin15 · 26-11-2015 1:58pm

LeaveMeAlone1 wrote: »

- I don't want to walk away from our friendship, but I can't reconcile his actions in my mind.
I'm going to speak to him directly this weekend and see what comes of it.
I'm not looking forward to bringing it up, but I'll certainly reinforce that I'm also worried about his continued
exposure to other diseases. After that, well, we'll see.

@ OP So you decided to talk to your friend this weekend. In that case i just want to mention that your friend from what you have told us already seem sensitive on the subject so going in guns blasting might not be the best approach.
If you are going to talk to him talk to him as a friend perhaps showing concern and support for him and his safety would be a good place to start. Is he currently getting the support he needs, would he like more support ? Offer to help him find additional support.

Maybe start the conversation by mentioning current HIV news events, like the World Aids day http://www.worldaidsday.org/ and than work the conversation back to that you overheard some of the dinner party comments and are concerned.

Consistent Condom + Lube usage is a good place to start, now some HIV+ people don't disclose but choose to exclusively practice safe-sex combined with the additional layer of being on HAART treatment themselves and constantly being UD all helps to further reduce risk (TasP) . (In my previous posts I already linked the completed studies for Treatment as prevention (TasP))
.
Personally I disclose & always use condoms + Lube, also I Take my meds as prescribed.
Disclosure also means if a condom breaks, for example (Never happened to me yet) it's means no sock when you and the partner need to discus the option of (PEP) that will further reduce the risk again . It has to be started within 72 hours of the time the person is exposed to HIV (though within 24 hours is best). http://www.hivireland.ie/living-with-hiv/hiv-and-you/pep/

Disclosure
It might also be that your Friend simply does not really know how to or fears the reaction of others.
Maybe he needs help with how does one disclose ?

Rejection is one thing, it's going to happen and that's fine. I've had a few say "No thank you" over the years and that's okay.
But a lot of reactions can be extreme even when your being honest and doing the right thing.
And also the possibly or fear that one's status might be used against them. Leaked to work/friends or family whilst your doing nothing wrong.
So I can understand that due to the lack of understanding from others and general undue stigma some are very scared to disclose.

How to disclose (No right or wrong way but just a few idea's)

Dating Sites and/ot Apps:
Simply be honest on the profile (You might get less reaction but he that's the wasters weeded out)
Only draw back I find is trolls, you may have to deal with people who feel because you open about the status it means they get to be abusive. I'm used to myself from the General public and the likes of Hospital staff in the real world by now so it does not affect me personally as much.
Anyhow online I just simply block anyone being nasty, if possible but first I remind them that "Your Mother had unprotected sex ieuw the dirty minger"

Bar/out and about:
I drop HIV into the conversation very early on, casual and if possible matter-of-fact way.
If I notice the person is ignorant or rude about it than I move on, no point disclosing to them or trying to date them and no time is lost.

Unexpected hookup.
When (if) kissing suddenly happens: Just stop and be honest "before we go any further, you need to know something you can respond any way you want; it's fine either way. "I'm HIV+ or I have HIV'

Anyhow whatever happens I wish you and your friend well and hope that some of the comments on the thread are helpful.
I'll count myself out on the thread for the rest.
Take it easy.

newacc2015 · 26-11-2015 11:58pm

IMO I think your friend might have mental health issues. The fact he dont feel like he needs to use condoms or disclose his status. Its almost like he is being potential harmful to others, to deal with his issues. I think he needs a support group or a few counselling sessions.

suicide_circus · 27-11-2015 6:43pm

I would see no difference between your friends actions and someone going around randomly poisoning unattended drinks in a bar. It's potential grevious bodily harm verging on attempted murder. Your friend is either a complete scumbag or suffering from serious mental problems.

Annasopra · 27-11-2015 7:48pm

Folks please remember the forum charter says we cant give medical advice. Please refrain from doing so and please do not diagnose the OPs friend as definitely mentally ill.

Ten of Swords · 28-11-2015 7:46pm

Op I'm not sure what to make of your thread really, what advice are you looking for exactly? How to feel about it?

Your opinion;

LeaveMeAlone1 wrote: »

IMO both need to protect themselves but if one is HIV+ they have a moral obligation to disclose that.

Your friends opinion;

LeaveMeAlone1 wrote: »

in his mind it's not his responsibility to disclose to causal encounters. It's their job to protect themselves.

I do not agree with your friend absolving himself of all responsibility here but he is right when he said it is up to each person to protect themselves. There is an equal probability that a casual hookup partner may not know they have a STI that they can pass on. If you chooses not to protect yourself then you embrace the risks and are culpable for the consequences (if you're not then who is?). Saying "if I had known, I may have done things differently" is not much good to anyone, life is full of what ifs.

You have spoken to your friend about this, albeit tentatively, so how did he answer your question? (a question which assumes the person who infected him knew of their status)

LeaveMeAlone1 wrote: »

I asked my friend to think honestly about what decision he could have been empowered to make if the person he contracted HIV from had given him a heads up and if he thinks it's fair not to?

HIV Poz Friend

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