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  • 07-09-2015 10:40pm
    #1
    happyholly
    Registered Users Posts: 17 ✭happyholly


    terrible things can happen
    on beautiful days like these
    from one simple tear
    your brought down to your knees.
    the dark that crawls and haunts the light
    the cold shiver of destiny's bite.

    i had a date with destiny
    but she never showed
    don't want your pity
    just want what i'm owed
    packed my soul and headed on home
    there's no shame in dying alone.


Comments

  • #2
    Tony Squeaking Appendix
    Posts: 0 ✭✭ Tony Squeaking Appendix


    happyholly wrote: »
    terrible things can happen
    on beautiful days like these
    from one simple tear
    your brought down to your knees.
    the dark that crawls and haunts the light
    the cold shiver of destiny's bite.

    i had a date with destiny
    but she never showed
    don't want your pity
    just want what i'm owed
    packed my soul and headed on home
    there's no shame in dying alone.

    I really like this but you need at lease one more verse, would it be okay if i rearrange some of the lines just to see what i can come up with and if that is okay then you got to put another verse to this, let me know what you think.


  • #3
    happyholly
    Registered Users Posts: 17 ✭happyholly


    hi feel free to edit


  • #4
    Tony Squeaking Appendix
    Posts: 0 ✭✭ Tony Squeaking Appendix


    Okay will see what i can come up, any chance of another verse from you and no worries if some of the words dont rhyme i just need another six lines so i have more to work on, no hurry will be a few days before i get a chance to try anything.


  • #5
    Tony Squeaking Appendix
    Posts: 0 ✭✭ Tony Squeaking Appendix


    Okay will see what i can come up with, any chance of another verse from you and no worries if some of the words dont rhyme i just need another six lines so i have more to work on, no hurry will be a few days before i get a chance to try anything.


  • #6
    happyholly
    Registered Users Posts: 17 ✭happyholly


    terrible things can happen
    on beautiful days like these
    from one simple tear
    your brought down to your knees.
    the dark that crawls and haunts the light
    the cold shiver of destiny's bite.

    i had a date with destiny
    but she never showed
    don't want your pity
    just want what i'm owed
    packed my soul and headed on home
    there's no shame in dying alone.

    when it comes to love, I'm a non believer
    but that all changed, first time a seen her.
    she took my love and it never came back
    she took my heart when it was all i had
    took my soul and it never came back
    she took my love all she left me was black.


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  • #7
    Tony Squeaking Appendix
    Posts: 0 ✭✭ Tony Squeaking Appendix


    PM sent


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